General feels

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>>35541964
>on your lives
>this this
anon does writing this make you nervously retarded?

How am i doing? pic related

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>>35542030
i am OP and wrote this

Not a hiki, I'm actually a student. Go to uni three times a week, so I spend more than half a week shut in. When I go there I don't talk to anyone. It's just a procedure to me.

Today is one of my free days. Kind of. Got a test tomorrow so I gotta read some PDFs. Probably gonna half ass it and score 60% like usual.

I've been coping with this lifestyle through drinking and smoking weed, but I broke down last Sunday and decided to stop spending every waking second drunk. Let's hope it lasts.

uni student, convinced myself into having a crush for the first time coupple months ago motivation from that is kinda falling off though.

>>35542087
yeah ik that feeling, i was a closet drunk for about a half a year, took a toll on my body and my mental state. Its hard at first but find other things to fill that time with by working out and maybe even attempting to make some friends if you dont have any... and studying would also be beneficial
>>35542141
dont try to convince yourself to have one, thats false lust. grow some confidence

>>35542277
it's not even a lack of confidence, i just haven't been able to. so i convinced myself in an attempt to become a normie. then i kinda just lost motivation and interest, show up here again.

i'm getting rid of shitty habits that are holding me back and replacing them with habits that will help me

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look how happy she is! dont you want to be happy? become a girl now

>>35541964
>Are you a hikikomori?
Not really, no. Today is my first day at a new job.
>How are you feeling?
Shitty and terrified. I only have 3 hours. Been desperately searching for a way out since 5 this morning.
>How did you get to this point in your life?
I wish I had a well thought-out answer to this, but I don't.
>How do you plan to get out of the void?
I've tried medicine, psychiatric help, fitness, buying things that I thought would make me happy, and whatever. Nothing has been working. I just want to be dead.

>>35541964
>Whats going on your lives robots?
I'm 30 today and getting drunk alone and eating doritos and shit.

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>tfw i keep lurking this board from time to time to see if there's anything good
>tfw for many years it has been nothing but faggots spamming moe shit, betas who say they don't care about pussy while talking about it all fucking day and narcissistic underages.

>always want to invest myself in some creative project
>can never come up with an idea worth exploring for more than a few days.

>>35542545
happy birthday! hope life aint too shit

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>>35541964
In the past i was feeling sad and depressed and i finally dropped highschool in 2015. I failed 4 school years, i couldn't take that anymore.

After that i was a neet until last October, when i applied for mechanic school. Not because i really want to be a mechanic, i just needed to find something to make my parents feel happy about me i guess (i do like cars though). Now i'm surrounded by normies but it's not as bad as you could think, at least here it's not like highschool, with the social pressures and all that shit, here everyone is at the same level, so to speak.

Leaving that aside, i'm feeling a bit troubled because my mom wants to move in a new house (so i'm gonna move too) but i know that i will miss this house a lot (spent all my life here, too many childhood memories, maybe you will understand).

[spoilers]Also, i'm kinda insecure about my sexuality, not sure if i'm gay or straight or it's just a phase. Still a virgin in any case. [/spoilers]

Overall, i'm feeling ok i think

I've been going through the loop the past couple of years. I fail classes, think it's all over, relieved because I don't have to do it anymore, but then it resets and they force me back and I have to retake the classes I failed.
In the long process of this, I've lost almost everything. I can't do anything anymore, even things I liked, without being terrified. I can't have friends anymore for the same reason. My mind doesn't work properly, when I try to read all the words and ideas get scrambled. I've been put on anti-psychotics but I don't think the dose is high enough but I'm not going to say anything.
I wish I could kill myself. My mom said to me today that she'd rather I did.
If I don't, I have no idea what I'm going to do in life. I don't want to do it at all. Life is too long already.

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>wake up early to go to airport
>going to NY with sister and bf for their small wedding
>be a bit late, kiosk won't let us check bags
>go to help desk
>long ass line
>finally get to counter
>they tell us to go to another desk
>they tell us it's too late
>plane gets delayed
>still won't check bags
>only option is to wait until Friday which we can't do because work
>have to forfeit our tickets
>no refund

It would have been our first time seeing snow too. FUCK