/mischief general/

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>in lecture
>wait until professor stops talking
>rip a booming fart against hardwood chair
>everyone looks at me
>pretend to seem embarrassed
>actually did it on purpose

>Person pulls up next to me in their car
>"Excuse me, which way is x"
>Give them directions
>I gave them the shortest possible route to get there so they wouldn't have time to enjoy the scenery
Fucking rubes.

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>>35512735
>Fart in exam
>As loud as I can
>People start gagging and throwing up
>Blame it on the kid behind me
>He gets expelled

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>grills only want Chad
>start working out
>wear normy clothes
>get a normy haircut
>learn how to sound like a normy
>meet lots of grills and some give me their number
>hit it off with 1
>tell her I am planning to go to college so she thinks I will be a big shot
>she is my gf but I am only pretending to be her bf
>I am actually a NEET and my mom doesn't live with me, I live with my mom

>Wagecuck
>Cleaning fry tray
>Eat one of the dried up fries
>Take that mr.shekelstein

>>35512644
bump for your doubles

>>35512644
>supervising students today in lab
>call qt by her first name
>ohhh mmmm geeee anon knows my name tehehehe
>faggot interrupts her excitement and tells her I know everyones name
>I don't

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>>35512644
>roommate tells me not to eat his leftover Mexican food
>he leaves
> I eat it anyway

>stranger invites me into van for candy
>knows there isn't any candy
>go in anyway

>>35512644
devilish
>>35512735
diabolical
>>35513041
mischief master
>>35513099
luciferian
>>35513193
trouble tornado
>>35513209
satanic
>>35513355
unstoppable force of chaos
>>35513410
trickmaster supreme
>>35513826
ascended artist of assholery

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>One day I feel a little silly and draw gondolas all over the house
>Mommy comes home and doesn't understand what it is
>She seems really confused about it and wants to know what it is and why I did this but I won't tell her
>"ANON WHAT IS THIS"
>Go back to room without saying
>Slip a stickynote with a gondola on it in her purse before she goes to work

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>Be door guard security
>Woman asks me the price of some bra
>Say "One sec, I'll go check"
>Go on break

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>>35512644
>at book
>library asks me to mind his normie
>walk
>agree away

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>>35512644
>islamahad abjeer t.mohamaheeden comes into my pizza shop
>orders pizza with explicit orders for no bacon or pork
>hide bacon under the cheese
>mfw he melted into a puddle and vanished on the spot

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>>35514122

>Give out food sample
>Schlomo asks if the cheese is kosher
>Say yes
>It isn't
>The moment it makes contact with his tongue he's turns into a pile of ash

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>>35513907
>Arguing with a family member over something
>They say "I can't stand when you do this kind of stuff"
>Sit down and continue talking

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>>35514164

>Banging pots and pans together because I cannot be controlled
>Mom screams "STOP"
>Bang louder

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>>35514157
>giving out free showers
>shekelberg askes if it's kosher
>say yes
>nobody said zyklon B wasn't kosher
>he turns to me and asks if the masturbation machine wasn't kosher either
>mfw it wasn't
>mfw he is masturgasbated to death

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>>35514157
>teaching 4th grade
>give out some snacks i made
>one kid asks if there's peanuts
>it does have peanuts
>the moment he inhales the cookie's particles before it even touches his tongue he turns into a pillar of salt and crumbles after another kid kicks him

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>>35512644
>little brother isn't coming to be picked up from school quick enough, little normie is talking to his friends
>devise a plan to get him to behave
>tell it to mom
>she agrees
>plan is to create a system of "points" for when you're good that you can use to buy treats
>I tell everyone they'll be named goodboy points and they'll only get them if they arrive on time to be picked up
>mom agrees and thinks it's great, doesn't bat an eye
>mfw I'm literally memeing my family and turning my normie brother into a fat screeching tendie autist without them knowing

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>>35514225
>serving the lord
>have to save roblot from the city of degenerates and normies
>normos want to rape me
>roblot offers his virgin daughters instead, what a bro
>don't want to waste prime pussy, blind the normans instead
>help roblot escape with his family
>know roblot has a stacy cunt for a wife
>tell her if she looks back at the city she will LITERALLY turn into a pillar of salt, knowing she'll do it just because I told her not to, because she's a fucking woman
>mfw she fucking does it
>mfw roblot's gets to fuck his two virgin prime pussy daughters now
>mfw this is entirely 100% accurate and happened in the bible
>is he /ourgod/?

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>Back when I worked at mcdonald's
>5 minutes before closing
>Tell them we're closed
>Argue with them until we actually close

>>35514190
I feel sorry for your mum you autistic manchild

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>work for deliveroo
>delivering food from restaurants and shit
>not assigned to any one, phone sends me to nearest one needing food delivered
>not on shift
>turn up to TGI Fridays in uniform
>"hi, I'm here to pick up the food"
>take one I like the most
>go home and eat it
>mfw some normie didn't get their food
>mfw some polish guy was freaking out at the restaurant because the order wasn't there and he got shit from the company
>mfw I got free steak

and yet the book is still on your MIND right now

normie wins again loser

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>German, Italian, or Japanese asks me for directions
>give them the correct ones
>Anglo, frog, or Russian asks me for directions
>give them the wrong ones
>they end up on a train in the wrong direction
>train doesn't have any stops for at least 30 minutes

Looking out for my Axis buddies, Allies get fucked lol

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>live in apartment
>made a hole in the bathroom wall one day when I got angry
>there's plumbing behind it
>started banging hard on it with metal things at 3am
>echoes all over the building
>all the normies get woken up 3-5 hours before they have to go wageslave
>can hear little kids waking up and crying
>normies cursing and yelling
>nobody can tell who it is because it sounds like it's coming from all over in the walls
>do it thrice a week randomly
>watch anime afterwards with the background cursing of normies and wailing of children

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>go to mcdonald's
>use the restroom
>come out
>cashier person announces an order is ready
>take order
>casually walk out with a free meal

>don't you say another word
>"another word"

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>neighbor flips the little flag on his mailbox right before he leaves for wagecuck duties
>go outside and flip it back down

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>>35516421
That is pretty fucking devilish anon

>>35517524
Top kekkles tbqh

>>35517070
Kys faggot.

This is too real

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>>35517070
>autistically wailing and banging on apartment walls after 2am on Mondays

Feels great, so fucking liberating.

>>35516845
Doing God's work.
Fucking frog fuckers, jewbongs and slav niggers should die.

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back in highschool
>went to nice private school
>no locks on lockers
>girls would leave their sports bags out in the hall during whatever sport season it was currently
>during my free periods i'd go down to that hallway
>secluded.jpg
>take the bag into the lockerroom
>steal the undies
>place bag back where i got it from

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>wife tells me to get condom for bull
>but the cheapest they got

>go to supermarket
>Make cashier scan all of my items
>Say i forgot my wallet and leave

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>>35514071
haha nice one anon, have a gondola for your hard work

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>hanging out with normie sister-inlaw and brother in car
>tell them im a virgin because i have social autism
>bitchy whore gets offended because she teaches retarded kids
>tells me im just akward and lazy, dont joke about autism
>ask her "are you down? because youre acting pretty autistic"
>brother pulls car over and kicks me out in the middle of no where
>eat at nearby iHop by myself and explore a Home Depot until Uber arrives

Worth it

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>arguing with family members
>they use unfair and fallacious tactics
>beat the shit out of some stuff in my room with a Maasai war-club