Roastie Invading my house

Give trying to be friends with her a shot. We had a girl live here for about a year while her parents did some missionary thing. She ended up being really cool and leaned on me a lot. We spent tons of time together and almost became like siblings. It was a lot of fun, you should give it a shot.

>>35486207
0 _0 How could I possibly do that? I haven't made a friend in ages.

>>35486072
Things are looking up anon you might even have a practice gf

Don't ruin this by being too self-conscious

>>35486072
Is it your house, or is it your mom's house? Do you live alone?

>>35486276
He hasn't left the nest

>>35486276
Mother's house, I'm young.

>>35486238
Last time I spoke to her she had a bf, but that was a while ago so who knows.

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>>35486235
>tfw she starts bringing chads over
>you can hear them stomping around and laughing through the walls but the only words you can decipher are them repeatedly using your name
>the laughing picks up even harder after you hear your name mentioned

>>35486386
>tfw my bedroom is right next to the guest bedroom.

I wonder if I will be able to hear her if she masturbates.

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SHE'S GOING TO BE STAYING THE WHOLE SUMMER!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEE
I had plans of building a new 4k gaming pc, relaxing in my pool and playing games now this roastie shit ruined it!!!!!!

OP i had an extremely similar experience when i was 18. the girl was the daughter of my mom's friends, we hung out together when we were really young like on playdates and shit but they moved out of the state when i was maybe 6 or 7. she came back to the city where i lived to do an internship and rather than rent a real apartment my parents just immediately volunteered my older brother's old room.

the actual experience is a much longer story but here are the takeaways:
>if you act like a sperg and hide she'll just think you're weird
>living with a girl your age is weird in ways you aren't expecting
>just treat her like a regular girl who happens to live with you. like an exchange student or something. don't be weird about it

my own experience was pretty positive overall so hopefully you will get a kick out of it too

>>35486753
What did you guys do together?

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>>35486072
In the upcoming months
save up as much money as you can to buy as much of the following.

>1 gallon water jugs
>24 bottle packets of soylent
>plastic container and duct tape and tissue paper
>granola bars
>vitamins (can be pills or gummy ones)

you will use the water jugs first as a source of water to quench your first and then later as pissjugs.

the soylent will be your basic food supply. one or two bottles a day should be enough to sustain you.

the plastic containers (i'd buy large ones) will serve as your "shitjugs." the duct tape will be used to cover up the edges so that the smell doesnt leak out, or leak out as much. Use the tissue paper to obviously wipe your ass and place them in the containers once they get full. Though I'd recommend getting paper towels since they're bigger.

and the granola bars and vitamins will be used to give you the nutrients you need to stay relativity healthy.

the amount of all the above you buy should be determined by how long this female will be staying with you. I'd inquire this information ASAP so you can begin planning.

Godspeed OP. You're gonna be in for one hell of a siege. At least be fucking prepared.

>>35486753
>>if you act like a sperg and hide she'll just think you're weird
>>just treat her like a regular girl who happens to live with you.
Not OP but just out of curiosity how do you treat a regular girl?

Make sure you got enough piss bottles

>>35486822
you mean like activities?

we didn't spend every waking hour together or anything. she had her internship most of the time

we played vidya even though she wasn't very good at it
she had my brother's old gamecube still hooked up in the room she moved into (this was like 2 years ago, so the gamecube was very old even then)

i brought her to a few parties my stoner friends from high school invited me to. probably wouldn't have gone otherwise, i wanted to make sure she was having fun and i don't know what girls like? parties i guess?

honestly talking to her was totally normal after like a week of us getting used to each other. her presence was never really a problem and i was kind of freaked out about having to share a living space with her but it turned out to be a non-issue

>>35487021
>Treat girl like guy
>Except don't hit her, wrestle hard with her or try to argue logically with her

>>35487021
Not that anon but treat her like a bro, a random guy, that dude from that place you see every day and are cool with. Anyone you're not trying to fuck. You probably wouldn't anyways so might as well treat her like a human being and hope she will too.

>>35486753
Was she qt and is your life an anime yes/no

>>35487136
So how do you treat guys?

>>35486207
not doing a "missionary" thing with her
I'm disappointed

>>35487147
>you see every day and are cool with.
doesnt exist. But I already ignore girls so I guess i'm ok.

>>35486664
Don't let her presence stop your plans anon

She won't care what you think of her so

>>35487181
>Play vidya, drink with, watch tv shows and movies, play cards, etc
>Don't have sex with or don't watch porn with
I've watched porn with my friend once when we were younger, I'd advise not to do the same with the girl

>>35487246
>>Play vidya, drink with, watch tv shows and movies
Those are single activities, silly.

>>35487001
>Janice, I hadn't seen anon in a while so I assumed he was out of town and I smelt something bad in his room
>Went in to check if maybe a dead animal snuck in
>I caught him masturbating next to a bunch of piss jugs and some big plastic containers with brown stuff in it
>Sorry I puked on the carpet then he started crying
>I think I'm going to move into a friends house for a while

Good plan anon!

>>35487167
i thought she was average-looking when she moved in but by the time she left a few months later i thought she was VERY cute. she looked the same, i just kind of realized over time that she was really quite pretty and i was just so weirded out by her being in my space that i initially just tuned it out

i could greentext the whole long story but it does not end in me fucking her. there's definitely (sexual) tension now but it's not really something that comes from the time she lived with me for a summer

>>35487021
like a person your age
it's okay to tease her
don't openly hit on her
the rest is basically "don't be completely autistic"
she's just another person trying to make meaning out of their weird lives

>>35487274
>what is hiding the piss and shit jugs
>what is the fucking duct tape for
you idiot

>>35487270
You can do those with other people too
>Tfw too used to watching films with another person

>>35487204
No neighbor? store dude? internet guy? even then,fake it till you make it

>>35487346
why would I talk to any of those people? they serve me

>>35487393
How does your neighbor serve you?

>>35487440
Why would he talk to his neighbor? I've lived here for 3 years and never once talked to or even seen my neighbor

>>35487440
>>35487440
they take packages when I'm not home.

>>35487346
fake what?

this id fisikfkdoksb

>>35486072
Spy her,record her while she dresses and shower.
Start making holes in the bathroom ,check for spots to hide your phone in her room and save her pics or share

If you're a sperg, definitely don't try to become friends with her. Just stay in your room most of the time and only come out for food/water/emptying piss jugs at night.

I've had something similar recently, but the girl only stayed for two weeks. Tried being friendly with her but it backfired, she thought I was creepy and just tried spending all her time outside to avoid me. I thought it was going well when my mom came in and told me to never speak with her again because I scare her.

>>35487536
The minimal social skills to acknowledge an equal human being

Do you think your mom doesnt know that this is a chance to get her kid a new friend? She knows this. I want you to play a game, OP. Pretend you are cool, pretend you are outgoing. You dont have to do it with everyone, do it with THIS PERSON.

I was in this situation, but reversed. And I pretended to be someone Im not, and hear nice things said about me that took me by surprise and i never thought id hear. Be that guy, to this girl, onky for the summer. And when she likes you, you can go back to being yourself because she likes you already.

All these fucking normie posts is fucking reddit down?
Just do whatever OP she will stay out of your way. Guests have to.

You have a great mom. See ya normie.

>>35487307
I kind of want to hear how this plays out.

How come you guys are sexually tense now but it wasn't an issue before? Did you suddenly remember she has a vagina?

>>35486664
You can still do all of that, and you could enjoy the pool when she isn't around.
It's not like she'll be home 24/7... right? RIGHT? I'm right.

P.S. what are the specs of the gaming build you were thinking about?

>>35487001
Stand next to the window to catch some sunlight or you'll be lacking vitamin D

>>35487636
>thought it was going well when my mom came in and told me to never speak with her again because I scare her.

Damn that hurt to read.

>>35488057
it didn't 'play out', or at least it's currently playing out so i can't really say either way

we basically reconnected/found out we had a lot in common over that summer. i didn't really think she was super hot at the time but in retrospect that was a mistake. or, well, she isn't "hot," but she's really cute
also she's tiny and basically flat-chested but has DAT FUCKING ASS which has subconsciously become the body type i seek out in porn lel

ended up going to different colleges but in the same city (same one i have always lived in, fwiw). we have obviously kept in touch.

since last semester she's been inviting me over to parties at her place (she lives with a roommate now) which are fun and interesting. a few times she's gotten really drunk (which isn't hard, she's tiny remember) and said some stuff to me that sort of implies she might be interested in me

the problem is that i don't know whether she's just like that because she's drunk or whatever or if she's trying to subtly indicate something and i'm just not picking up on it. i don't think she acts particularly flirty with me when she's sober but maybe i'm blind? or maybe i'm just reading too much into what a drunk girl says/does

>>35488549
>Not telling her I want to fuck you, but that's it

>>35488671
if i'm going to fuck her then i also want to be her bf

it's also hard because obviously i don't know how girls normally show interest in guys or anything because this stuff doesn't happen to me. so i'm always anxious that i'm reading something into the situation that's not necessarily real

this is getting away from OP's original point so, uh, op: steel your heart before she moves in

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>>35486072
fug her D::::

>>35488549
This is great and all but did you find her dirty panties in your laundry hamper? Did you smell them? Did you wear them over your head like a skimask?

Normie.

>>35488228
Here are the parts https://pcpartpicker.com/list/hDJF3F

I will be waiting for 3rd party GTX 1080TI cards that are going to come out in April though.

Buy hidden camera
I think you can guess the next step.

>>35488908
anon please
yes i've seen her underwear. there was one laundry machine in the house, i've seen all her clothes

i pretty much left them alone

sorry i wasn't as /degenerate/ as i should have been

>>35489734

She obviously likes you. Try getting closer to her. Tell her that you're interested in dating her. Since you guys know each other, she won't be weirded out by this. She'll be straight forward with you. If you really like her, try it. She might just be waiting for you to make a move on her. Also, some people use the drunk card to express what they are really feeling deep inside. She might be scared that it might push you away if she showed outright interest when shes sober. Give it a try bro.

>>35488721

What does she do that makes you think she's interested?

>>35487001
>/r9k/: the post
forreal tho

>>35489180
spy on mommy and daddy wrestling and feel tingly in my special place?

Do what every anon must do. Selectively find truly awkward moments to ask stupid questions. The most autistic the better. Visit Cracked dot com and find out random facts to tell her when you are looking through the kitchen aimlessly.

Be as much as a doofus as possible, but don't get weird - like the decapitated dog in "Fear" weird.

Avoid too much attention and eye contact. Shiver a little, and be shy. Be sure to always knock on any closed doors if you have an inherent need to enter a room she is solitary in.

Most importantly, do chores around the house.

>>35487001
>one hell of a siege

Fucking kek