/cripplingdepression/ general

How to get goals outside of consuming media?

>>35485067
Find things irl that you would like to accomplish. Do you have any hobbies or interests you could work in?

>>35485028
whats up skelly, just here continuing to give up, i'm steadily making progress as another day warps by, then another month.

>>35485156
Not much, upset about moving. I'll miss this house. Glad you're making progress <3

I'm going to be moving into supportive housing because I haven't gotten better in 4 years. I'm going to hate it but it's my last chance to do or go anywhere and after a year of living there I get put in subsidized housing.

I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't, but I guess it'll be better than lying in bed all day wishing I was dead.

gramma i live with is in the hospital because of blood pressure, 220 over 90 i dont know how high that is but they said it was high so im at home alone about to smoke a cig and then go to bed

>>35485293
Hope it goes well for you, i really do <3

>>35485028
>hella
Are you also from NorCal famalam?

>>35485459
i wish tee bee eich

Does anyone else starve themselves when depressed? I haven't eaten for two days now, and I do this like once a month at least. I realized I do it because it's like doing a prolonged suicide that I can back out of whenever. I also feel like I don't deserve food, I'm such a fucking waste of space.

>>35485539
Thats pretty common, that or overeating. You need to eat though, you'll only feel worse not eating

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>>35485028
I need some advice, guys. Every day, I feel crippling anxiety and anger. Its gotten bad enough that I just quit my job as a walmart cashier 4 days ago. I have the ovelwelming urge to go on a murder spree, and to kill a particular famous person who I really fucking hate and want to fucking bomb. I used to be on zoloft last year, but I stopped taking it because it changed my personality and made me numb. What should I do, guys?

I'm deciding whether I want to punch or kiss my oneitis. (That term can be used for men too, right?)

Besides that, the depression is making it hard to eat.

>>35485906
Go see a doctor before you get yourself killed my dude. Like as soon as possible

>>35485948
Why would you want to punch him? And yeah i dont see why you couldnt

>>35486002
bpd and he never makes any effort to see me.

>>35486091
Gotcha. Have you told him about how you feel?

>>35486143
Yes. Still no changes despite him saying he would try.

>>35486332
Thats really shitty of them :(
Might be best to cut off the relationship

>Started antidepressants just over a week ago
>They actually work
Fucking rad. I feel way better. Only downside is they make me really sleepy.

i need a hobby
i don't do anything other than drive to school and drive home.
the local cvs employees recognize me and know me by name
i have so many coupons
i havent showered in a few days, which really isn't so bad actually

>>35486765
What are you on?

>>35486820
Whata re fields you have interests in?

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Started a new job two weeks ago, and I'm really enjoying it so far. It keeps me on my feet, plus every day is different from the next. There's a winter storm coming to the northeast that will be taking place on all 3 of my days off. I'm really looking forward to taking my Jeep out to walmart and buying tons of discounted food, then going back home and feasting while I watch movies and play comfy games.

I'm still ugly tho but whatever

>>35486864
What do you do? I'm glad things are workign out so well for you <3

>>35485028
crippling depression sucks
manic depression's where it's at
>the meds, they do nothing!
>I'm not a robot

>>35487008
I have a friend who has that, i honestly don't know a ton about it though :(

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>Tfw your depression destroys your libido
>tfw haven't fapped in 2 weeks
>tfw nothing brings me joy anymore

Is it time to leave? It feels like living would be a doing a disservice to myself. Feels like self-harm at this point

>>35487003
Thanks bb. I'm a Security Officer at a small regional hospital. This job was made for robots

>>35487089
Tell me about what you do there!

>>35487056
How long have you been depressed?

I stopped taking my brain medicine 3 or 4 weeks ago. I forgot what it actually feels like to have energy and do things.

I still want to die though, but now I have energy to do things in the meantime.

>>35487191
What were you on? What do you have?

>>35486858
i like games
i played in a d&d game for a few months about a year ago and i went back to the comic shop to buy a book and the dm didn't recognize me
i'm basically invisible

>>35487163
N-no, I dont wanna

>>35486002
what the fuck do I even tell the doctor? I don't even know how to explain this shit. I just have an overwhelming urge to set off a bomb and kill everyone in the media.

>>35485906
I mean I feel like I'm obligated to say go to a doctor but could you say what celebrity you really fucking hate?

>>35487330
What and risk him getting pciked up by the party van?

>>35487286
Thats fine, you dont have to if you dont wanna :)

>>35487285
Tabletop games are a good way of meeting people and doing things, maybe GM this time. That sounds really shitty though :(

>>35487310
Tell them about your anger and frustration and anxiety. They can help you out, and cant really force you to do anything unless you're an active threat to people.

>>35487223
I was on seroquel and effexor. As for what I have, Major depression, general anxiety, social anxiety, and maybe some bipolar stuff.

I've been on wellbutrin, buspar, citalopram, lithium, and a bunch of benzos in the past. Nothing helps, the doctors want me to get electroconvulsive therapy, but I'm not going to do that.

It just feels nice to wake up after 6 or 7 hours and feel well rested, when the seroquel used to put me out for 12 hours and I would wake up tired and useless.

>>35487365
I'd guess a guy with super anxiety n shit isn't going to be backtraced and reported to the cyber police

Last Tuesday was my final day of work after handing in my notice. Have been heavily regretting the decision since as I genuinely enjoyed the company of my colleagues and now I'm afraid I'll lose touch with them. I'll do my best to remain friends with them but I know that my general loneliness and emotional nature makes me more attached to them than they probably are to me, in which case I imagine I'll just fade into obscurity. Why must I always sabotage myself in such stupid ways?

I might go see a doctor soon and either try to get some medicine or arrange to have therapy. I can't fall back into a rut like I did before getting that job and I don't know if I can survive walking around permanently on the verge of tears anymore.

I feel like shit because no place will hire me I'm broke and poor and can't afford any gas. I broke down the other day and started crying because killing myself seems like the only way out

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>>35485028

I thought I was doing fine then out of nowhere I feel like a depressed piece of shit again.

>>35487425
Why the fuck did you quit before you had another job lined up? HUH??!?

>>35487054
Here's what you need to know
If I take antidepressants I get a high better than any drug for weeks
And if that's not fucking amazing idk what is

>>35487472
>no place will hire me

Did you lie on your resume? If not, you should. The person on paper should sound absolutely nothing like you

>>35487384
Dude effexor made me feel absolutely awful, i slept all the time. Also electrotherapy scared me too, i dont blame you for not doing it.

>>35487425
Why'd you stop working?

>>35487472
:< I'm sorry to hear that man, can you get unemployment while you search?

>>35487473
Did anything change?

>>35487516
Because I'm in a position where I could comfortably do so with my living situation and savings. Still a stupid decision, sure, but these factors blurred my view.

>>35487546
I didn't enjoy the job, basically. I was at a point where I was purposely slacking and it would have bitten me in the ass eventually. Or maybe that's just how I can rationalise it. It was a nonsensical decision that I'm lucky enough to be in the position and/or age group where it's not the end of the world, but that doesn't mean I'm not saddened by the routine being disrupted and not seeing those people everyday.

Fuck, man. I could've stuck it out a little longer and tackled my mental issues at the same time. I'm such a twat, I hate being me.

I also haven't popped a boner since leaving, whatever that means.

>>35487710
Work gets you off bruv. What was the job, tell me fag

>>35487710
Stuff happens man, i really hate routine change myself. And sometimes you just do things because bad brains makes you think its the right choice at the time.
I hope you get things worked out my dude <3

>>35485028
trying to finish my cs capstone

programming a project that is way over my head so it's basically me trying to understand linear algebra while I call random functions from open source packages that I have no idea what are doing, and half of them have little documentation and don't work so it's a huge timesink

fuck

>>35487774

Call centre. I'd worked in one before which I also left as it was probably worse than even this most recent one. The role itself certainly offered no fulfilment but I guess the camaraderie was enough to carry me through to this point. I just put it down to my personality and the position not gelling, which I think is true, but I'm also switched on enough that I probably could have played the game for a little longer until they realised I was just hanging up on customers most of the time.

>>35487781
Thanks, anon. I'm mainly sad about the people as I get overly attached and from experience know that the day is coming where I'll forget about them and vice versa, which upsets me just as much as the actual missing them part.

>>35487330
Rachael Maddow

>>35487916
I get that. I hope you keep in contact with them the best you can <3

>>35487378
if i tell them if I desperately want to bomb buildings in America and can't stop thinking about it, would that get me committed? And if yes, how would I avoid it?

>>35488006
You deserve to be locked up you sick fuck. Stop worrying about what COULD happen and just go fucking do something. You have to start leaving your moms basement before you ever shoot a bunch of normies and blow up a building. Maybe simply leaving the house once in a while will make you feel better.

>>35488062
t. normie mcnormieson

>>35488097
When was the last time you even saw the sun? When is the last time you walked further than from your computer to the fridge?

You have to go outside if you want to buy a gun. Baby steps, go take a walk around the block or something.

>>35488006
I cant tell you that they wouldnt for sure. You really need help though my dude, it sounds pretty serious

>>35488181
I do go outside each day, and have a family. However, that still doesn't diminish my rage. I'm just asking, what can even be done about it?

>>35485028
Hi skelly. I'm probably going to kill myself at the end of this month. How are you holding up? Where/why are you moving?

>>35488262
I don't know. Personally, I don't consider it serious up until the moment where I actually fire the gun. Up until that moment, all ive done is commit thought crime, right?

>>35488280
therapy and meds can do wonders. CBT can as well.

>>35488282
Why are you going to kill yourself? I'm doing garbage haha, shit sucks. Moving across town because my parents are b uilding a house

>>35488302
I dont think they can do anything, they might call people in to talk to you but they cant prove intent.

>>35487921
Oh fuck her for a minute I thought you were crazy but that's perfectly reasonable. Alright but seriously I wouldn't suggest asploding celebrities no matter how annoying their voices are.

>>35485028
Class tomorrow. Wanting to skip and sleep half the day, but I skipped last week and finals are next.

>>35488381
Hope you do well in finals, and yeah you probably need 2 go

>>35488346
its not that, its that i feel she has committed treason to the white race, and that her death could start a revolution the likes of which has not been seen since world war 2!

>>35488393
Thanks m8. Good luck with your move

>>35487546
>Dude effexor made me feel absolutely awful, i slept all the time. Also electrotherapy scared me too, i dont blame you for not doing it.

I'm gonna try once more to get on the bux, if I get denied again, I'm going to go ahead and kill myself. Wish me luck.

>>35488430
Thanks man

>>35488432
Why would you get denied

>>35488462
I have a note from a psychiatrist saying my brain is too fucked up and I can't handle work, I'm basically a shut in, and a bunch of other problems, and they still denied me the first time around.

>>35488518
Thats actually insane, i have no idea why'd they would deny you

>>35488326
Depressed tranny who is rejected by family

>>35488575
Thats fucking rough, im sorry to hear that :(
Are you living with your family?

>>35488594
Yes and will be kicked out soon ):

>>35488636
:( Do you have anywhere to go? LGBT shelter or something?

>>35488669
>LGBT shelter

Lol, is that a thing? Do us gays have our own shelters?

I'm so hopelessly out of touch, I'm a closeted homo living in a town of less than 2000 almost my entire life.

>>35485332
dude the first value is off the charts the second one is way too low for that, this is bad

>>35488669
I don't really think there's on close to me. I was planning on just using my experience as a waiter to try and bum an apartment with randoms off of craigslist....

>>35488326
what meds can you get for uncontrollable anger that won't manifest itself externally until you reach a critical breaking point where you bomb a major building? Serious question here.

>>35488774
I'm the guy who recently quit seroquel. They can give you a moderate/high dose of that and you will be so tired and low energy that you can barely feed yourself and focus on simple tasks.

>>35488734
Yeah, there are. like 40 percent of homeless youth are LGBT

>>35485332
Hope she makes it my dude

>>35488768
Not the worst idea. How old are you if you dont mind me asking?

>>35488774
Lots. They have meds for everything. Therapy can help as well.

>>35488804
that sounds hardly better than my present condition (at least from my perspective). It would just make me less dangerous to others.

>>35488811
I'm 20 turning 21 soon. I'm kinda freaking about the whole thing. Thinking if I should start to transition if it's just going to ruin my whole life, but delaying it just also mean she suffering as well... it sucks. How old are you?

>>35486858
Sertraline, the most original medication.

>>35488853
A better question is, is it worth the cost to go through with the action and go to jail, or should I just seek help and become a depressed normie. i mean, I don't approve of say, what Eliott Rogers did, and think hes scum. But at least he actually fucking took a stand for something and was willing to die for a cause, rather than just being a sobbing depressed cuck for 70 years and then dying with shitty feminized children.

>>35488878
23, closeted queer to almost all of my family. Starting now is a good idea, but like with the way doctors can shape human flesh you can really start whenever anymore.

>>35488892
>Sertraline
I havent been on that since grade school. Didn't really work for me

You're a good person skele. I do my best to avoid /r9k/, this board is horrible if you have actual mental illness, but I'm always glad when I see you're still around.

>>35488931
Getting help is taking a stand my dude

>>35488942
I havent been here for a while, and i only ever post on it in these threads. Glad people get something out of them

>>35488974
>getting help is taking a stand

literally how? How can that hurt the feminists or the jews if I just turn myself in to them without doing anything first? Serious question here.

>>35485028
You're alive.


I'm feeling like nothing will make me happy and I am destined to be alone. The only thing that keeps me going is a dedication to my family and the fact that my life isn't actually that bad. If it keeps going like this, I might actually achieve something.


And then kill myself.

>>35489024
Know that your death would be meaningless and give the jews more ammunition to ban guns and impose more restrictions on daily life.

I'm not going to try to stop you though, do your best.

>>35489061
Wrong. If the leader of the jewish media was killed, it could set the jews plans backwards by a year or two, I think. It would only backfire if she lived because then she could say "I was targeted for assassination by the racist alt-right and lived, how can we end hate in America now?

>>35489096
You need organized resistance, multiple robots rising up at once. A lone attack isn't going to do shit.

Or you need to stop worrying about it.

I spent my fathers birthday being a depressed piece of shit. Now I tried improving because things have gone too far

>>35488878
Hey, I'm right there with you. 19, almost 20, I know that transitioning will ruin my life but my life is already shit and I will hate myself forever for not doing it when I had the chance. Very lame series of events. I wish I could be normal.

There are enough tranny threads on /r9k/ though so I will stop posting about it here probably

>>35489052
How long have you felt like this my dude?

>>35489179
What are you doing to improve?

>>35485028
Jury Duty on Tuesday. This is going to be hell.

>>35489245
Fixing my sleep schedule and not spending all day in bed

I'm just about ready to give up. Applied to 25+ jobs overy the last month. I heard back from a single one. Did an interview two weeks ago and they said they'd contact me in a week.

We'll suprise suprise they never contacted me. So I can only assume I didn't get the job.

I should be studying for my A+ certification, but I failed all the practice tests so why bother?
Tempted to just play video games every day until my parents kick me out and then I'll just kill myself.

>>35489275
I think jury duty is comfy. Then again I'm a NEET with nothing better to do.

>>35489122
I don't know man. Personally, I can't stop worrying about it though, its all I think about. Actually for the last few months i've been thinking that I really should have voted for Trump in the election, but I didn't bother to do it.

I figure its not a big deal, because I can still do it in 2020. This means that I only need to be unhappy for 3 more years.

Of course, if I go along with my Rachael Maddow plan, I could be happy now... right?

>>35489245
Ah, since childhood. I've self-improved and self-improved and read and done well in school and the whole nine yards and sometimes I do feel happy. For months even. But I always come crawling back to these feels.

I used to beat my head against walls as a kid. I just cut again and I feel ashamed. Had a panic attack a few years back which accelerated the downward spin this time.

The frustrating thing is that I always feel so close to normality. I am pretty normal, save for my mental shit. I can't fucking relate at all. My feelings are delusional but nothing's coming to replace them. Nothing. It's fucking me up inside and I can't even do anything about it except type to some well meaning guy thousands of miles away.

It's OK, though. I always bear it. And make it sound worse than it actually is.

>>35488933
Hey we should get a place together haha

>>35489403
back off, skele is my bf.

>>35489449
w e w i was joking because we were both closeted lgbt people

I'd kill myself if my parents didn't love me.

>>35489403
where you at?

>>35489383
You gotten any help man? I hope things work out for you

>>35489467
R I P

>>35489470
Do they know about your depression?

>>35489479
all jokes aside i hope your moving situation goes well. I'm just hoping i don't have to hop around on the streets or anything

>>35488892
How the fuck did it start working after one week? Before I started feeling (miniscule) effects from it, I had to up the dose to 200mg/day and it still took about 3-4 months.

>>35489504
Thanks, I hope you find a place soon <3

>>35489479
Psych on Tuesday. We'll see if the meds do anything. It feels sort of shit though. Last time I was there I was so big on living without them.

Ha, ha.

Also, on a completely unrelated note:
>want to do gay things
>look at craigslist ads
>feel ashamed about being half-faggot again

Wow, I have so much to bitch about.

>>35489559
Oh also to reply, in Virginia. Thanks. I'm looking into cities along the east coast haha

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JUST FUCKING HIRE ME
I'M COLLEGE EDUCATED
I'M BONDABLE AND HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD
I HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE
I'M FLEXIBLE
I'LL WORK ON SHORT NOTICE AND NIGHTS
JUST FUCKING HIRE ME BEFORE I GET BEHIND ON RENT. I HAVE $2.38 IN THE BANK
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

These past few weeks, I think that anxiety has overtaken my depression. I worry a lot about the future, I'm very disappointed in my grades, how I have no hobbies, no work ethic. I hide myself in media consumption and 4chan instead of facing my issues. I don't know what to do.

Skele, do you mind if I ask what you do for work?

>>35489622
What's your degree? Just go to a temp agency if you're that desperate

>>35489769
College isn't the same as University where I'm from.
I'm an Electrician. Oilfields are dead and no one is taking on apprentices. Grocery stores here are requiring MARKETING EXPERIENCE just to stock shelves. I applied for a janitorial position somewhere else and they want a FOUR LEVEL college course and 5 years minimum experience.

But of course, my PM and his Ministers has told us all that we need to accept that "temporary part time work will be the new norm"

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>>35489804
Lol just sell electricity door-to-door, idiot

>>35489804
Canadafag? Where abouts? Are you sure you're actually trying?

There are plenty of jobs in just about every sector in SK, the down side is you have to live in SK.

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>>35489846
All I have anymore to keep me happy is my Wojak collection, and the Normies have finally found him.

>>35489872
Please don't call me a "fag". Don't reply to me, either.

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I'm just sitting on a couch in my house at 1:30 in the morning so just a normal night I guess
It's not sadness anymore it's just the loss of feeling that comes some nights, i could do it in these moments, I could just finish the job. I don't care if better times are ahead because I know one day the apathy will come and I'll go through with it

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>>35489929
>Pretending to be me
I'll slap yer shit, bud.

>>35489929
fag vbcbc

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If anyones depressed i'd love to mother and cuddle you. I'm so ready for it.

>>35489929
I have sucked a cock to completion and I am less gay than you.

>>35489983

tfw you were born far too late to properly love a young Jewish girl

>>35490000
>these quads are going to go unadmired

>>35490046
>2017
>caring about gets


Hello newfriend

>>35490066
thats pretty ironic for someone who just got dubs

>>35490066
Nice double doubles.

oirigeionel

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>>35490066
What the fuck, checked even tho you hate it

>>35488424
do it. america needs a martyr.

>>35490178
you really think so? But how would I do it? Where does she even live? Does she have guards? and how would I find her?