Shitpost of the century

I closed out the 14 tabs of Cheese Pizza on my laptop, and rose from my seat and walked calmly into my grandma's room, as to not to raise any suspicion. I rummaged through her drawers and ravaged her pantry, looking for it. Finally I found it lying under her bed, I could smell dried up old lady residue on it. I reached under and pulled out the 12 inch double sided black dildo my father had bought his mother for her 72nd birthday.

I walked back into the living room where the stench of her excretement had grown to unacceptable proportions, I saw that senile old Bitch sitting in a pile of her own crap, if she liked shit so much I'd give her as much shit as her old body could handle. I walked behind her slowly taking in the raw stench of my grandmothers shit, and hid the 12 inch black dildo behind my back, and with the most good boy voice I could conjour up, I said "gam gam, would you like some Apple Pie". I saw her face automatically reflect on the half eaten apple pie that was in the kitchen, and I saw her lick her lips in anticipation for the warm crusty apple pie to force it's way into her mouth and slip down her raspy throat, she mumbled the "mmhmmhmmm" that these days meant "hell yeeahhh I want some pie". She was going to get her pie, but instead of apple she would get a mouthful of big black dildo.

I raised the dildo over my head and could feel it swaying back and forth because of the mass, as I swung the dildo down over my grandmother's stupid fucking head. She immediately fell out of the shit stained chair and face down ass up onto the floor, I couldn't have asked for a better position. She began to mumble in some incomprehensible language as I brutally beat her with the object that had gave her so much pleasure, her 12 inch double sided black dildo. I tore off her crusty brown old navy cargo shorts that always fit her way too short for a disgusting old lady to reveal her preciously white, turned liquid brown panties. I had made a mistake, this wasn't regular shit, it was diaharrea.

This was unacceptable. I swung down even harder on her back with the oversized dildo, she started mumbling even louder as I screamed "YOU LIKE YOUR FUCKING APPLE PIE DON'T YOU BITCH TAKE THE APPLE PIE TAKE THE FUCKING APPLE PIE IN YOUR FACE!", I heard the pleasant sound of a crack, and then I knew I had broken my grandmother's back with her own black dildo. I heard my grandmother scream HNGGHGHGHGHGHGGGGGHHHHH and then I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

"NO GRANDMA NOOOOOOOOO" I shouted as a large stream of liquid shit erupted from her anus, it was almost like a gyser as it flew up into the air in a consistent thick gob, her old body couldn't handle the pressure that was squirting out of her ass and the shit spray threw her body all about the room causing her legs to gyrate and writher in the air awkwardly as shit smeared all over the walls. I knew the only way to stop the never ending stream of diaharrea was to shove the 12 inch dildo deep into her digestive track, killing my grandmother. I ran over to my grandmother's gyrating body and looked her into her face, she stared at me with the same blank expression he had when she shit in her pants, when she mercilessly plowed herself with the dildo right in front of my entire family, when she ate the store bought apple pie, and sat at my grandfather's funeral. I knew she wanted me to do it, to save everything I had ever known. Tears started streaming down my face as I grabbed ahold of my grandmothers gyrating legs and shit spewed onto my face, I shoved the dildo deep into my grandmother's asshole and the stream of shit was blocked from exiting, I looked upon my grandmother as the shit built up inside her, she started to scream from the agonizing pain, "I LOVE YOU GRANDMAAAAA" I said as the shit inside of her enlarged her waist bursting open her internal organs and spilt out onto her body. Her skin started to stretch and bubble from the pressure, shit started to spill out of my grandmother's every orifice, spilling out her eyes, mouth, and ears. I heard her say "apple pie" right before she burst, like a bomb releasing a huge wave of shit all over the room.

I licked my lips in satisfaction knowing I had done the right thing.

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For about an hour I had sat revelling in the glory of what I had just done. My grandmother's corpse was strewn about all over the room in several different pieces, I looked over to the east wall and saw a piece of her head covered in shit with brains dripping out of the side, to the west wall I saw her legs and her vay jay jay also covered in the vile poo poo. Behind me most of her internal organs had flew into the kitchen, I would assume her small intestines, stomach, and possibly her heart.


It was so intoxicating I didn't even notice the horrible smell of old lady shit that had annoyed me so badly before. Even as my grandmother laid dead in a slew of body parts, blood, guts, and shit I could not bring myself to crying, somehow I knew this is what she would have wanted. I looked about the room searching for the object of my grandmother's affection, who am I kidding a 12 inch black dildo would be the object of any straight man's affection as well, what straight man wouldn't want to stick a 12 inch double sided black dildo deep into his asshole while screaming out the name of his late grandmother? not any straight men I knew.My father was the one that gave his mother the dildo in the first place, even though I saw him use it first, and I heard him masturbate the same night, I assumed to thought of his mother using his used dildo that had been inside his ass. My father was as straight as straight men could get. I remember being four years old and my mother and him never getting along, it had something to do with how he never wanted to have sex with my mother, he told me my mother couldn't handle such a manly straight male, such as himself, and that she secretly wanted to be fucked by muscular homosexual girly men.

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After that my mother left, and for a while it was just me, my father, and his 12 inch black dildo for straight men, I know that the dildo was made specifically for straight men because I was in the shop with my dad when he bought it, he asked for a dildo made specifically for men who were straight and loved boobies and vay jay jay's. He named the dildo Mr.Jimbroni. My father often told me he was lonely and wished he had a straight male friend, that's why when I was 11 Steve moved in.


Steve was the second straightest male I had known, other than my father of course. Steve was not a very large man, he was 4 inches smaller than my dad plus he wasn't a tall as my dad either and stool only 5 feet 4 inches, my dad a full 6'. Despite his size steve was as manly as manly men could get, he always wore rainbow flip-flops and ambercrombie jeans with a tight fitting T-shirt if possible. My dad told me that they slept in the same room because if two mega-straight men do something gay the straightness cancels out the homosexuality in the action and it's still straight.

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Steve was supposed to be coming to check up on me and gam gam in the morning, and I knew that if he saw the house in this condition, he would give me one of his world class spankings. All throughout middle school, steve would spank me brutally and consistently. If I made a bad grade on a test, I would get 6 stern slaps across the tender part of my boy booty, if I got into mischief he would undress me down to my trousers and smack me 20 times bare bootied after I rubbed oil all over my body and put on bad boy pasties. I remember one time my totally straight male middle school teacher had trouble with me, Steve came up to the school while my dad was at work and he and Mr. Jackson both spanked me in the janitors closet. Steve's hands were to be feared.

I had about 6 hours before steve was suppossed to cum. I knew I had to do something, and do it hard, and fast. Suddenly I had the most fantastic idea.

>>35479412
Finish the story u fockin nigger