That realisation that you didn't fit in.

Early in school.
I somehow couldn't bond with people because the way they acted seemed uncertain and childish. We were children, so that was a normal thing for them to do, but I wasn't part of that. I never got over that gap and stayed apart from my peers for all of my school time.

Sometime in middle school
I wanted to be alone more than I wanted to be with friends, and it was clear others were not like this.

When I looked back on my life and remember that I used to regularly think about killing my self but don't because I would never put my parents through something like that.

I didn't have a shitty life that justified this.y life was a nightmare because of my mind. I always thought everyone hated me and made fun of me

I am no longer like that thankfully, but I still have some sperg traits like extreme shyness and lack of social interactions and friends due to that (although I do have some friends)

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>>35475103
This. Then later, that turned into not going to parties even when invited, then just avoiding crowded outings all together.

I've always had like 2-3 close friends, the rest were just ultra normies that i would leave behind any day of the week.

Are there guys that actually jerk off together without it being gay?

>>35475186
I feel you.
To this day large crowds of people make me uncomfortable. I'd take a day hike in the woods over a stay in a large city any day.

>>35475197
Yes, there are. I had a group of friends in the broader sense that built a tree house with me. At one day the three of them wanted to jerk it in a field down the road, just because. I really did not feel like this being something I would enjoy so I passed and went my way. Strange guys.

>>35475057
it came gradually, and I fully realized it freshman year of highschool

those were dark days man

>>35475233
Yep, i've always disliked parties and crowds, not my thing.
And I literally walk everywhere with my music just because I love the sense of freedom and...a good kind of loneliness I guess?

>>35475348
>And I literally walk everywhere with my music
I enjoy hearing what is going on around me, I just don't want to be tangled up in it by default. I also live in the bad neighborhood, it's a good idea to watch your back around here.

>>35475197
yea lol

in around 6-7th grade when everyone was going through puberty all the normies would go over to each other's houses and play leisure larry and later on watch porn and fap together.

>small group of friends are over for a sleepover
>the most savage of the group, a one armed brazilian kid is always trying to flex
>"bro i can squirt"
>takes his dick out and starts jacking off in the hallway
>fucking pisses on the floor

funny but strange times

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>>35475057
When I was 9.
Then at 16 I finally managed to fit in.

I only believed it for some time until a "friend" told me he was hanging out with me out of pity.

I'm 18 and completely alone, aside from the regular call from my parents asking me more and more often if I got out during the week-end.

Very early in life, I found out at least by 4th grade that I wasn't interested in the shit the other kids were, my mind was working in a different way more towards general understanding of things rather than mindlessly enjoying a hobby

the second i felt like killing myself, i realized i had nothing to lose, stopped giving a shit about living or dying and started doing really risky shit.

I ended up becoming a weird antisocial coolguy with a harem of dumb suburban stacies.

>>35475186
Yeah. I kept 1 friend from Primary School, None from Secondary School, 4 from College and now I have a bunch of acquaintances in University, not even friends, just people I can at least hang around with during lunch and sit next to in class, but we don't see each other outside of uni or have contact info, so they'll be gone after I'm done.