>You have quite a large gap in your CV anon, care to explain this?

I'm mentally ill, blame neglectful parents and the person the agency assigned to watch over me that barely did--
>Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
>Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
>Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
>Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
>Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

The white matter in my brain is fucked up.

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>>35466603
What's a cv?

Original

>>35466603
I had a gap year, visited Europe. Was a really awesome experience, visited loads of countries.

>>35466663
Have you been instructing celebrities to haze me? Or are you a fucking snake that didn't warn me that people are trying to harvest my brain because there's a payday in it for you?

"During that time i was a full time caretaker for my disabled father"

>>35466653
Same desu.

I'm a fucked up person. It honestly frustrates the hell out of me when people insist that I continue this existence when I negatively influence everything I come in contact with. I'm a bad person. I should die.

>>35466603

schizophrenia. psychotic episodes.

I am a time-traveller and spent that time fighting the Nazi regime in the 1940's. You're welcome.

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>>35466603
I was busy being God's servant.

Not larger than the gap i left in your wife after fucking her each day, WAGIE.

>>35466693
This is REALLY good. How have I never thought of this.

I spent a few years playing video games to identify sexist tropes and fight the patriarchy

>win over the female judge on the interview and the other two beta judges fall in line

>>35466807
CIA NIGGERS

>>35466603
Just tell them you have been traveling, worked for me.

>>35466603

Just bullshit them and say you've signed an NDA with the gov and you legally can't talk about it.

I ugh ummm

JUST GIVE ME THE JOB PLEASE

I usually just say I was in hospital for reasons I'd rather not go in to, which is true. It's worked before. I heard the coworkers in my first job talking behind my back about whether it was cancer or something since it's not "obvious."

It was a heroin addiction, two suicide attempts, and an assortment of mental health issues :^)

>>35466706
You just need therapy and medicine.
I'm getting it right now.
Why blame yourself when other people did this to you.

FYI, I'm not diagnosed or anything, it was just a cheeky response to OP.

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>>35466603
i actually had this for university applications

i just explained i was mentally ill and had residual amnesia i needed therapy for and the interviewer seemed to awkwardly regret the question

it cant have been that bad tho, because i still got accepted to the best university in the world

>>35467928

On a diversity quota. lmao

>>35468037
my university is one of only 2 in my country that hasnt implemented quotas

the government is mad about it but they cant do anything because its the worlds #1 university and its too important for national prestige

I was in prison for fraud. Why?

>a week and a half ago
>first time applying for an internship
>nearly 23 years old
>no work experience
>no references
>no connections
>garbage grades
>way behind schedule on finishing my degree
>somehow my resume makes it through the first stage of screening
>have to do a retard-tier take home programming test
>get a phone call out of nowhere and suddenly its a fucking 20 minute phone interview
>never had an interview before and I can barely hear the guy
>spaghetti everywhere
>he wants me to come down to their office for a technical interview the next day
>the first few questions are simple programming shit
>then it goes into drawing diagrams and I can't fucking remember any of them
>ape together some boxes and arrows
>interview ends
>i fucked it up
>today
>get an email that they want me to start on tuesday

I don't understand how any of this worked. Dumb luck? Charisma? The power of STEM? Seriously how do I make sure this turns into a full time job because I don't think I'd be able to get away with this shit a second time.

>>35468306
put effort into it. maybe you know some software nobody else does or whatever. just dont fuck it up. be social, dont sperg out. as long as you are a bit better than mediocre and fit in well socially youve got a good shot at getting hired.

>>35466603
>stand up
>walk over to the window
>gaze out of it, pensively
>"I just had to figure some stuff out, you know."

>>35466603
>i spent a year helping develop an ad-hoc political meme campaign on the internet to influence the american election

>tfw trying to legalese the huge gap in my resume that was taken up by being enslaved by an abusive family
>one of them is handicapped
>"Worked full time as the primary caretaker for a disabled relative"
That'll probably work, right?

>>35468306
Imposter Syndrome

https://www.hanselman.com/blog/ImAPhonyAreYou.aspx

>>35468306
>I don't understand how any of this worked
Your interviewer was gay and wants to pound your butt. Sometime soon he'll invite you to his condo to talk about your career prospects.

what's a non-autistic way to answer this question that also wont potentially come back to bite you later? that is to say, how do you do this without lying

>>35470020
>what's a non-autistic way to answer this question that also wont potentially come back to bite you later?
that you've been learning something online like programming.

>>35469149
>i did a lot of psychadelics

>>35468306
I always second guess myself in tech interviews as well. Probably mostly dumb luck, but I would guess that you're better at coding than you believe. Keep up that mindset, it will help you improve. Congrats anon.

>>35466603
>>You have quite a large gap in your CV anon
No I don't.

>>35466874
It's a good at all. Everybody says that they were taking care of an ill/disabled relative. The interviewers know it's bullshit in most cases

>>35468306
>The power of STEM?

This. I got my programming job very similarly.

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>>35466603
>implying i'd ever come close to this situation

i'll kill myself before I try to look for a job

I was starting my own business. It was called 'eating chips in my underwear all day inc.'

I was very hopeful, but it wasn't profitable. Still I learned a lot and that's why my salary requirements are a bit higher than other candidates you may have seen today

I was looking for a job

My experience and knowledge I've gained transcends human language so I couldn't put it into words

>i was studying a course in X country

There. they will never follow up on that.

>>35466603
Why do these people look like CGI?

>>35471784
Looks american so it everyone is photshopped to hell and back, same in films with certain lighting/angles to give everyone this creepy skin look

>>35471821
Yeah but that guy on the right, no way that was ever a real human being