/crippling depression/

The times that I'm able to escape my usual thoughts and enjoy things make me wonder if I really am a huge fucking fraud.

>>35452979
What makes you a fraud, anon?

>>35453032
The days I'm happy or able to forget things for a while make me question if I was ever actually depressed in the first place. Then it feels like I made up all the negative and suicidal thoughts and then lied about having them.

>tfw have something insightful to say in class discussion
>people keep talking over each other
>can't get word in edgewise
>stop trying
>"you need to interact more in class discussion anon"

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> tfw you need to go to school or you will fail
> then you stay home anyways to jack off and play vidya
> then you go to school and they set you up with disability program so you can miss more school
> then you just start going to school more to make a doom map

why are girls so dramatic guys?

i'm one of those people who gets along with practically everybody he meets and never gets into fights and this clashes so much with the kind of girls i always end up hanging out with

i don't care about what they fight over but they expect you to and get angry when you talk to X or Y and it's so fucking shitty trying to make everyone happy because you have so few friendships that you don't want to lose any

>>35453204
This
Used to happen all the time until I stopped giving a fuck what other people think

>>35452936
I realised depression is a normie meme and a way for them to be quirky and unique and got better
My overwhelming hate for everything normal is far stronger then any anxiety or sadness I have

>>35453505
Yeah I was at college and a guy from my class saw me in the library and we started talking, within 10 minutes of talking he starts going on about his depression and how it's stopping him from doing work
We're not even good friends just classmates and he tells me that shit, he uses the excuse of 'I hide it when I'm at college' but it's obvious he's overplaying or making it up

>>35453151
I started looking at my depression like being a really bad, long mood swing. Its not something YOU can control, its controlled by exterior factors, how much sun light youve been exposed to, how tired you are, which people you see each day. When i have a happy phase as you described it i cherrish every moment of it, i finally know how it is to have a normal day just like everyone. This makes my happy days a lot better, but when im down i cant help but despair that i maybe wont get another day that i will feel normal and happy again...its never easy being this way anon, but dont give up just yet

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>you're the weird quiet guy at work that makes suicide jokes to his boss

>>35453505
In men depression can come out as anger.

>don't really like alcohol much
>don't like the thought of getting drunk
>but want to get drunk so I can forget my worries for a little while
what do

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>tfw you accidentally call yourself a stupid piece of shit while talking to your boss

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>just got into another fight with my mom
>probably gonna be homeless soon
>mfw

why did this have to happen, I couldn't even get to finish a 2 year fucking diploma and now im stuck here

ive gained ~60 lbs, i can't go to sleep until 4 AM, my life is just fucking empty with no reason to fucking live

whoever you are, just be glad you aren't me

>>35454007
>tfw it seems weirder for you to think that someone wouldn't call themselves a stupid piece of shit and mean it

>>35453888
>Tfw you know that people know you're suicidal and think that you killed yourself when they dont hear from you for some time

>>35453986
>Get drunk
>Forget your worries
???
Thats actually all you need, Anon

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>>35454052
>>35454128
>tfw you crush an ant that's walking on your arm and it smells like sour crayons

>Be at gym today
>New couple walks in
>Short stack Qt3.14 with Band shirt and bandana gf
>Balding skelly manlet bf
>Why.jpeg
>She follows him around and does exactly what he does
>He's helping her with form
>She looks up at him with approval and giggles happily when he nods
>She's motivating him telling him to "Get Angry" at the last rep
>Claps and kisses him when he pushes through
>She spots him looking at him with pure unconditional love
>He teases her and she stomps her feet and puffs her cheeks out with puppy dog eyes
>She's like lolita from the movie
>Swear to god heard her call him daddy
>He's at least 10 years older than her and 7 inches taller even though he's a manlet
>Literal dream girl gf
>Felt so much rage I had to leave early and cry in my car
>See her walking out with him after changing into a cute sundress with a flower in her hair


Why can't I get a girl like that... why does some douchebag Manlet that doesn't look like he lifted a day in his life get her

>>35454383
Posted this on /fit/ and they laughed at me

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>>35452936
>tfw literally drinking myself to death
>can beary read my heads moving os musch

>>35452936
>>35454249
Gonna need some more bjork, senpai.

>>35452936
I've dropped out from the world. I live in a small house by myself with a doggo on the great plains. My nearest neighbors live over huge hills and are miles away. The land looks like big waves that have yet to whitecap.

>>35454422
Girls somehow started to like older guys just for their age alone.
Try to act mature and maybe someone will call you daddy somewhere

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>>35454383
If you're insecure about anything, don't go to the gym. It's filled with people that are better than you and will judge you.

>>35454507
sounds like fun, try not to throw up

>>35454007
>>35453888
>talking about suicide in public ever

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>>35454730
>about to start painting
>your description of your home inspires me
>already disappointed with how I know this painting is going to turn out

I miss skelington

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>>35454824
Post it anyway. It's comforting to pretend Bjork has an interest in where I've reclused myself.

I will share my cringe about painting to get your juices flowing.

The last time I painted was a terrible mistake. Back when I ever had a chance, heavily friendzoned by my oneitus, we both had canvas. She paints a horse head out of seemingly random smears that worked. I choked because I was so overwhelmed by this situation so all I had down was two blue lines separated by a big white space in the middle. "Th-The sea and the sky- haha" I still have her horse painting.

And before that I painted something too personal for that mandatory art course I was forced to take in my second try at college. Shared it with the class and they all went silent. Art teacher said I was brave.
And it's foggy for the first time I've ever seen here. The tops of the hills are lost in cloud. The snow is finally melting, and its like the air is being piped straight from the cloudy coast of the PNW.

Before this my house was an island in a sea of white with a great view of the stars at night.

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I will never understand people who obssess over the idea of having a gf, I've never connected or had a remotely interesting conversation with a female.
But then again I'm also not attracted to them sexually/romantically so I guess that has to be the main appeal.

>>35454803
I'm not insecure I feel like he shouldn't have a qt like that and I should.

>>35454013
Took me ~5 years to finish my 2-year diploma, I graduated a month ago. Living with my parents still and no job yet, but looking for one. Hang in there robot, you might still make it to the next step.

>>35455383
women aren't interesting because they don't have to be

even a 3/10 will be handed an easy life because of her gender alone

>>35455383
The only thing women have over men is sex

If we weren't attracted to them this place would be empty

>thinking about asking qt that sits next to me in class if she wants to hang out.
>she dropped out

>>35452936
>fake illness
>post an image of a spooky edgy skeleton
>"life is truly suffering lads!"
You're very special aren't you?