ITT: Tell the best normie story you have

>>35431765
>anyway now i try to get up to make my noodles but they insist i stay
>end up playing a few more rounds, at one point i have to drink a bottle of shit white wine without taking a break
>i become quite drunk, forgot about my quiet dinner and vidya
>anyway about 2am they leave, they persuade me to come out too
>i really really don't want to go but one of the big rugby guys is being all dudebro with me and i felt kind of like i had no other choice
>end up going out to some shitty club
>takes ages to get there, we walk about half an hour, one of the dudebros is chatting to me
>drink another beer on the way
>despite not liking these people i am at least starting to feel like this is what normal people do
>we finally make it to the club, have to pay for entry
>i have no cash so the dudebro pays for me and says i can just buy him a drink when we get in
>we go in and it's loud and there's seminaked sluts everywhere
>what appears to be the rugby team is having some huge drinking competition in the middle of the dance floor
>loads of girls have body paint and glitter all over them, wearing t shirts covered in UV paint and their eye makeup is all smudged
>kind of feeling like i've walked into a weird version of a zombie film
>anyway dudebro wants to go to the bar so i go with him
>buy us both a beer, it's really expensive
>he starts asking if i have a girlfriend, of course he knows the answer is no
>decides he's going to be my wingman for the night
>will not take no for an answer
>like really no please dont do this to me
>he ignores me and goes up to some drunk girls and introduces us
>i hang back a bit but he pulls me in and i say hi
>girls say hi, seem vaguely friendly
>try to make small talk with one of them, she is talking realy loudly and i'm not entrely sure what she's saying so i just laugh and nod and say "haha yeah.." as she keeps talking

you type slow

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>>35431848
good story so far anon. looking forward to the rest

>>35431765
>it's a british university drinking game, basically you make a ring of cards face-down around a jug, and take turns to take a card
>each card has a certain result, sometimes you have to pour your drink into the jug, one of the cards means you have to drink it all

Did you just britsplain to me?
Check your privilege britlord

>>35431855
bumping 'riginality?

>>35431848
>anyway to cut a long story short she seems to like me, dudebro is giving me lots of encouragement
>we kind of dance together a bit, I have no idea what I'm doing and i kind of want to just go home where it's quiet and comfy but I keep at it
>telling myself this is my one chance to make it
>anyway about 2 hours later it's getting super late (well, early) and i kind of lose interest, trying to leave quietly but not sure how
>this girl is all sloppy and gross, she's hanging onto me for dear life
>despite everything i have my arm round her waist holding her up, first bit of genuine female contact this year
>dudebro keeps giving me pep talks and advice but i just want to go home
>eventually end up leaving with everyone, the new girls tag along, we go back to our uni flat
>walk the whole way back trying to keep her upright, she's laughing and giggling
>at one point she turns and kisses me, it was very sloppy and i could smell alchohol on her breath but it was pretty good
>end up back at our flat, everyone lies down on sofas, dudebro puts on some music and cracks open some more beers
>i'm sitting on the sofa with the girl, she seems pretty sleepy
>she slowly falls over and falls asleep on my lap
>dudebro is looking at me like i've failed him
>just try to drink my beer and think of a way to just get out and go to bed
>suddenly girl pukes all over me
>most of it went on the floor but a lot went in my lap and on my shoes
>try to extract myself, covered in acidic stinky vomit
>dudebro handles it and i go to the shower to clean myself up and wash it off my clothes
>I started washing it off in the shower but just decide to strip and have a proper shower
>end up falling asleep in the shower
>not sure what happened after that, woke up the next day in bed
>turns out girl was sick for hours and they had to call the emergency medical staff
>she was taken away to the medical room and spent the night with them, meanwhile dudebro slept with another one of the girls

>First year at real uni
>In dorms
>We get a bottle of vodka
>Suitemates all fuck off to their rooms with girls
>Time to drink up I guess?
>Get wasted
>Wander down to local diner
>Bump into qt Korean girl who talked to me sometimes
>Invite her back, I've got vodka
>She ends up drinking so much she gets alcohol poisoning
>I black out completely
>Most recent memory is me waking up, wondering if the guys down the hall have a smoke, and them all yelling "GOD DAMNIT" when I walk it
>Puke in their trashcan
>Wake up the next day in somebody elses tshirt
Turns out I wasnt wearing shoes in the diner, very loudly yelled "I HAVE VODKA IN MY ROOM WANT SOME"
Ended up calling her boyfriend like 4 times to get her because she kept mumbling his name and I couldnt wake her up
I had been getting up blackout drunk every 30 minutes to come bug them for cigarettes, then being guided back to my room

And that's how I met everybody on my floor of the dorm without remembering any of them
It's also how I alienated myself in the first week

>>35432004
>i find this out by walking into the kitchen about lunchtime to see dudebro and the girl, a hot blonde with huge tits (now in a lot less makeup than before) in their underwear eating pancakes
>quietly make some toast and coffee
>dudebro asks if i had a good night, smirking
>tell him yeah it was fun and go back to my room
>didn't speak to them again for the rest of the week
>dudebro is now sending me facebook invites to go to more shitty club nights with him

well that was my first experience of being a normie
it fucking sucked, is this what i've been missing out on? because i'm really not too upset
so i guess i learned that normies have just as shitty lives as we do, they just spend more time trying to dull it out with loud music and alchohol instead of mindless escapism

anyway share your stories robots, what's your best normie story

>>35432082

fuck me, anon. I hate rugby and club nights as much as the next robot but that sounds like dudebro was an awesome guy making a real genuine effort to a real genuine robot and you fucking let him down. you fucking let him down.

you couldn't have just banged the slapper and have done with it, made your dudebro proud.

>>35432082
>so i guess i learned that normies have just as shitty lives as we do, they just spend more time trying to dull it out with loud music and alchohol instead of mindless escapism

This one thing is what most of guys here haven't understood yet. And knowing this shit still don't change anything. Fuck everything.

>>35432082
Don't be a faggot op and go out with them. You will have the rest of your life to be a lonely faggot, at least you will have some good memories. I used to do this in my early to mid twenties and have a lot of fun memmoriess. Now I'm 33, wagecuck and every weekend sucks. I wish I had some people to go clubbing with every now and then. Enjoy your youth while you can, believe me when I tell you life only gets worse with age.

>>35432137
>tfw your strange fetish makes you fall in love with dudebros like him

Anyone here /inlovewithsenpai/ and still like girls too?

>>35432082
nice story, but
>i have no cash so the dudebro pays for me and says i can just buy him a drink

how can you pay at the bar when you have no cash? debit card or what?

>It's the Christmas holidays
>Almost everyone is at home off campus
>The flat next door sees me through a window and invites me to party with them
>I go because it would be rude not to
>There's 2 girls and 2 guys there
>We're in a cramped kitchen
>They're all dancing and moving about
>I sit in a chair
>They're all tipsy and I'm cold sober
>They try and get me to drink, but I don't want drink straight Jaggermeister
>The sluttiest girl decides that the guys are going to drink shots off her naked body
>She goes and gets changed
>Tiny panties and bra on
>The feeling of disgust because she's a slut, and her attractive body cancel out
>I'm sitting there in an uncomfortable chair, feeling neutral / numb
>She balances shots on her body
>The other two guys are in a push-up position over her, drinking the shots
>They're all laughing and giggling
>I'm sat in a chair not knowing what to do
>I don't want to join in
>I just sit there feeling like a creeper
>It's the longest 5 minutes of my life
>They later go to to a club and I make an excuse not to join them
>They come back 2 hrs later and say it was shit
>They all go to bed after much discussion about sleeping arrangements
>I hear from the guys the next day that neither of them got to fuck the girls
I hated sitting in that fucking chair. I don't know why I agreed to enter their flat.

>>35432420
maybe a couple of beers cost less than entry?

>>35432455
then he wouldn't say
>I have no cash

>>35432467
yeah you're right
idk

'riginality

>>35432438
Seems like you could have had fun with them, instead chose to be a faggorino.

>>35432137
yeah the dudebro guy was actually pretty nice about it but she fell asleep in my lap and puked, i dont know what else i should have done

>>35432197
is that what passes for good memories? because i really didnt enjoy it looking back, im not mad i went out but i feel like i'm not really missing out on much anymore

>>35432420
yeah the bar took debit card, the door only took cash

>>35432534
>A sober, unattractive, awkward, uncomfortable, ugly, skinny robot drinking shots off an 18yo slut
Doing nothing was by far the best option. Maybe I could have gone to the club, but I definitely made the right decision by not getting on my hands and knees and putting my face 5cm above her pussy.
She most likely wouldn't have let me, or would have been pulling faces / grimacing as I did it.

>>35432197
>Now I'm 33
>life only gets worse with age.
joke's on you, i'm killing myself at 30

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>>35432229
It's the opposite for me. And I'm 100% straight.

I guess I must be cute in a vulnerable way or something because I always make dudebros realize they're bisexual. They always end up trying to kiss me or hold my hand or some shit.

>when he bangs on your door at 2AM saying he loves you more than any of "these sluts"

>>35432420
yeah, duh. you can't pay cover with a card.

>>35432669

lulz
that's awesome, and kind of my ultimate dream to have a big straight guy telling me
>he loves me more than any of "these sluts"

desu though i think this weirdness of mine has something to do with teacher/student relationship.. y'know i always wanted to have a big brother to teach me how to be cool in life, showing me secrets to happiness, how to get a girl, stuff like that.

>>35432627
it would've only been weird if you'd made it weird.

as a recovered robot, i was invited to a lot of things and only when i let my anxiety exacerbate my awkwardness and i started thinking "i don't deserve to be here" did other people agree.

not everyone is going to like you, just like you're not going to like most people. just try to be kind and open, and if you're still uncomfortable, just leave. you don't want to be friends with those that make you upset, anyway, right?

>>35432082
Sounds like a cool guy OP, you should hang out with him.

>>35432822
>Seems like you could have had fun with them, instead chose to be a faggorino
>if you're still uncomfortable, just leave

At least make up your mind on what you're having at go at me for.

>>35432857
we still live together and he seems to like me a bit more now, so maybe i will
he's probably the only one of the group that was actually ok to talk to the whole night

>>35432883

prolly there are lots of guys among normies who behave like them but are interesting and a bit robotlike underneath. Could that possibly be?

>>35432623
You will have good nights and bad nights. Sounds like you have an opportunity to make some normie friends. Go out with them some more, you will have a good time. Something to remember when your in your late 20s, wagecucking with no social life.

>>35432627
They invited you in. Maybe should have did body shots off her tits. If I was you I'd chill with them some more, what else you got going on?

>>35432652
I couldn't imagine my life past 30 when I was in my early 20s, it seemed so far away. Now I'm 33 and although I feel like life is passing me by I can tell you that I want to live and I'm hopeful it will get better.

>>35432863
Bruh you replying to comments made by two different people.

>>35431765
Greentext version:

>go out with rugby dude roommate
>pick up some sluts
>bring them back to dorm
>she pukes on me

>>35432863
>>35433054
this, i would never call anyone a faggorino.

>>35433538
thank you for summarising my greentext
in fact why don't we just make all content on this website as efficient as possible
in fact here's another funny story
>insert funny story about things happening

OP this is like my normie stories only the girl doesn't want to touch me and the dudebro wants to fight me.

>anything remotely like any of this
>"fun"
How the fuck

>dude I know from /vg/ invites me to go to an anime con with him
>we never met irl before, con is in the US and I'm northern European but I accept
>he introduces me to a few slype groups who's also going
>I also arrange to stay at a hotel with six strangers for the full experience, actively trying to get out of my comfort zone as self improvement strategy
>there's a kind of awkward kinda cute girl in one of the skype groups
>I fly over, con is in California, I'm a tall nordic with an accent so I immediately stick out
>meet up with skype groups, kind of awkward but not bad
>get in line for entry tickets, grab em and somehow get separated from the group
>just me and that girl, let's call her K
>we walk around together for a few hours until my friend calls me to meet up
>we meet up, everyone from both groups are there like 20 people, about 5 girls
>need a restaurant that can fit all of us
>one girl I platonically got along with tells everyone to wait while she exolore
>I offer to join her, and the four other girls promptly follows (biggest chad moment of my life, never seen female attention before), hold hands with K and another girl on the way
>find a place, have a good dinner, half of us go back to a hotel room to drink and smoke weed (I don't because I'm a wimpy beta)
>night drags on, almost 3am, K says she's sleepy but her house is sooo far away
>alcohol gave me courage, I invite her to stay with me at my crowded room
>she accepts holy shit
>my robot mindset still feels friendzoned, she's only going with me because she trusts me
>get to room, others are asleep, we undress
>it's a small bed so we have to lay close
>STILL feeling friendzoned I tell her "hey uh.. Sorry if I get a boner"
>she laughs and says ooookayyy
>as expected I get a boner
>she feels it poking her back
>she reaches for it, starts softly rubbing it
>she turns around, still rubbing, and kisses me

And that's how I lost my virginity. Also no one was asleep and the others heard everything, said nada

I'm 27 years old and I've never smoked a cigarette, took any substances or even drank a single ounce of alcohol in my life.

I don't know how it happened.