"Tell me a story, uncle anon!" wat do

>>35424525

That's a toucan and it has a big beak, did you know that wonderful fact anon?

>>35424525
Tell it a story, obviously, because that's a fucking rad bird.

*unbuttons bick*

>>35424525
Get a blowjob from that qt toucan

Toucans? god I LOVE toucans!

>>35424525
Look up the price of toucans. :3
Then tell it the jungle book story or something.

>>35424525
>Let me tell you about the time I sat at my computer all day and did nothing with my life
>But you tell that every time!

>you have a big beak for you
>don't crash into any planes
>you won't survive
>your beak looks like fire
>people being nice has made you docile
>*clips wings*
>*bird flies anyway*
>impossiblu

>>35424525
I tell it about that one time I walked across a frozen lake at night with some rich French bitch and some other peeps while I was homeless and next morning she demanded that I compensate her for one of her beers I accidentally drank (it was dark and cold and I couldn't see what can I was pulling out of my bag)

fuck you Alice

original

>>35425613
Literally ONE beer?

>>35424964
did you know their beaks are made from the same material as our fingernails

>>35425613
How long were you sleeping rough? I was "homeless" for 48 hours about 5 years ago.

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>>35425483

YOUR NOT ALONE! This is my Parrot!

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>>35425634
yep, it was one tall boy of Sapporo (650mL). I remember it well. The backpack was full of Red Bulls (the beer, not the energy drink) and I was already drunk. Only realized it was her beer after I opened it and took a sip. So I chugged it

This bitch was an international student, spent 7 years in art school (3 years community college, 4 years at university for a Bachelor of Illustration). This happened in her year 3, still college, we were all 20 or 21 I think

Anyways, her dad was a banker back in France and owned multiple properties, including vacation homes, in the Philippines and West Virginia. She knew my parents kicked me out and I was technically homeless for 2 months (couch surfing at friends', including her bf's place)

She woke me up in the morning (we all crashed at my friends' basement) and demanded I give her $3 for the beer, complaining she didn't get to get drunk and I ruined her "experience." I literally did not even have $3 to give her, or $3 in the bank, or any money whatsoever anywhere. Imagine someone waking you up in the morning and reminding you that you are LITERALLY worthless and have fucking nothing. I will never forget it

>>35424525
>Toucan Sam isn't real.

>>35425912
what's it's name anon?

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>>35424525
>you will never slowly and sensually finger a bird that is able to repeat the cute girl sounds you've been playing over and over for it

Why live, brehs?

>>35425912
Ring-necked parakeets? god I LOVE ring-necked parakeets!

There once was a qt amazing bird named tooks, plot twist, It's you! :3

That is a very cute bird

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lemme tell you about when I was in high school, 4chan was the meme center. Then 7 years later, memes became normified...pepe was stolen