>you'll never be serenaded by a cute boy

its wwwwwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more common than you think.

good that's what you get for being a roastie lemon toastie REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35420651
I have been. I am also a boy

>>35420651
Am I the only one that thinks being serenaded is awkward? I wouldn't know what to do, I can't sustain a fake smile for that long.

>>35420684
try fucking listening to it ya mong

>>35420684
yeah I stopped thinking girls were actually into that when I was in like 12th grade

>>35420684
Agreed. The times I've been sung directly to have always induced more awkward cringing than lovey feels.

>>35420704
Of course I would be listening to it, but my face would be the same face I make when someone shows me something I have no interest in but they clearly do.

>>35420709
>times
Any good stories? Did they have good voices at least?

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>ROASTIE, YOU MAKE ME FEEL TOASTIE

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>>35420651
Are you a real fembot and if so why do you like that gay shit? I told my metrosexual normie roommate if he played his guitar again in the room I would shove the guitar up his faggot ass. Fucking cuck hasn't done it since and that was 2 months ago. Lol being bully is fun. Should've gotten /fit/ in highschool so I could've made fun of faggots with chad instead of regularly getting beaten up by him.

>>35420727
>any good stories
Not particularly. Dudes with acoustic guitars are a plague. I had someone try to sing to me while we were watching Sweeney Todd on the couch together. I had to excuse myself halfway through. I was just sitting there sweating while a virtual stranger gazed deeply into my eyes and sang "nothings gonna harm you". I used to love that song but can't listen to it without getting the creep shivers.

>>35420736
damn, did robots really get physically beat up during high school?

To answer your question I only like the kind of serenade where it's basically a performance, except that I get some special treatment compared to others in the crowd, I guess.

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>>35420896
>damn, did robots really get physically beat up during high school?
This is why womyn can't be robots

>>35421053
>never seen two chick's fight
OK bud.

>>35420674
faggot

I'm guessing not original

I'll serenade you if you fully devote yourself to me.

>>35421067
Chick's don't regularly get their ass kicked and physically humiliated for years on end

>>35421081
You're not cute tho

>>35420651
You mean '...a cute boy who can also sing'

>>35421100
I am. I was told my voice is cute, and that my accent is cute. Fit, hygienic, college student in STEM, only that I don't do shit of my days and I wouldn't mind the female company because that's what gets the hormones pumping.

The only thing that would not make me cute would be you telling yourself that.

>tfw you play touhou piano arrangements for some normie roastie and she thought it was really beautiful and artistic
made up a fake classical composer when she asked what it was lmao

>>35421053
I don't believe you. What the point of chad physically confronting the social recluse? Everybody already knows chads are stronger and better. They don't have anything left to prove. The most they do is snigger when you spaghetti. High school isn't like the movies.

>>35421087
Sure they don't. Girls are fucking brutal.

>>35420651
I've been playing guitar sinve I was 12 and know how to sing and I'm kinda cute.

So, I'll give you a serenade if you marry me, deal?

>>35421136
>I don't believe you.
Oh what I'd give to be a woman

I don't know why he did it, maybe because he thought it was funny or something? How the hell should I know? And wtf are you even talking about it would be most logical for the social recluse to get beat up because nobody gave a fuck about me.

>>35421138
no not in that way at all

>>35421282
>And wtf are you even talking about it would be most logical for the social recluse to get beat up because nobody gave a fuck about me.
You'd know if you learned to read.

>>35421282
>not in that way at all
>t. never been bullied by girls

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>he will never tell you that everything is alright

>>35421282
nah m8 you definitely haven't seen a real chick fight

girls might not have the strength but they get ugly real quick

>>35421368
But I'd do it..

>>35421322
They are passive aggressive very aggressively, and occasionally break out into fights of passion with eachother, but they don't regularly beat eachother up unless they are literal nigger hood trash.

Also I gurrantee you didn't get your nose broken on multiple different occasions

>>35421374
I have m8 but they pretty rarely do that.

>>35421381
you realize the person you replied to has a dick right?

>>35421381
Sorry, mate, I'd try to avoid it. Sometimes my father wants to cheer me up that way, but I dodge every time.

>>35421414
Are suggesting that having a dick is a negative?

>>35421389
>physically humiliated for years on end
You're really unaware about female social groups.

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>he'll never force you to play his favorite games

>>35420651
Let me serenade you....

Ahem.....

"La la la.... Freeeeee biiirrrrd, yeah"

*starts making awful lead electric guitar noises*

"Whow whow whaaaahh whilldly biddly weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

*makes dubstep wobble bass noises*

"Whoooomp whoooomp wah wah WAHHHHHHHHHH"

OOOOPS

you said a 'cute boy'...

...not an amazingly handsome man....

My bad

>serenaded
for what? so you can get an ego boost and laugh about the clingy guy who sang to you with your friends?

fuck you

*serenades your gay ass with the rhythmic lullabye created by my balls slapping against your chin*

Bap

Bap

Bap
Bap

Bap

Bap
Bap
Bap

Bap

>>35421615
You would be a great noise marine. I am so proud of you.

>>35420651
>You'll never be a cute boy

>Ywn be bent over the kitchen sink while your dad roughly takes your virginity with his huge cock.

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>he'll never let you hug him when you're feeling down

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Female wojak always makes me blush for some reason.

>>35420651
>I'll never be serenaded by a rich, super fit, tall, highly intelligent Chad
FTFY, dumb slut.

>>35421841
thats funny maybe you should kill yourself

>>35421136
>What the point of chad physically confronting the social recluse?
I'd hardly call them "Chad", but I remember hicks and russians (mostly the russians) frequently beating kids up for no good reason. They're not "stronger" though, they relied on numbers. Niggers born the wrong color, really.

They thought they were showing off how strong they were by ambushing some kid 4v1. Compensating maybe? None of them were really intimidating on their own. Funny enough if you ever called them out on those tactics they'd sputter but then refrain from trying that bullshit.

>>35422163

https://youtu.be/jBlm0AkC23c

I call niggers 'niggers' right to their faces all the time.

If they had any balls, they'd beat my ass

It hasn't happened yet

Now my wife has started imitating me, calling them niggers right to their faces, too...

In fact I'm using speech to text right now and there's two stupid niggers standing about six feet from me listening to all of this and they won't do shit about it

>>35421841
>for some reason

The reason MIGHT be the 'unequivocal homosexuality' thing

>>35422743
I don't even know what it means. So I probably don't have it.

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I sing like a banshee, good thing I'll never get a gf to know these feels

See, I've been in a lot of fist fights. I've had my nose broken several times, and I actually enjoy having my nose broken to be quite honest.

When your nose gets broken that's when things really go off the chain, and that's when I'm going to really hurt somebody really really really bad

Until my nose gets broken it's really just messing around, but once I hear that 'snap', and smell the metal, and feel blood pouring down my face?.... game on. Now somebody's really going to get hurt period period period having your nose broken doesn't hurt at all. It just smells weird, and it gives you uncontrollable rage and the ability to actually go the extra mile

That's why I'm not afraid of Jack Shit

That's why I tell people exactly what I think about them

That's why I call niggers 'niggers' directly to their little monkey faces

And so far none of them has had the testicles to do a goddamn thing about it

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OMg Like I'm totally a robot

I was a neet for like 5 days
I didn't even ahve a boyfriend

I like totally stayed in bed for 5 days even when my friends tried to pull me out LOl

so anon tell me about yourself

>>35423006
I haven't seen a woman In 2 years

>he will never be a big guy for you

>>35423031
Are you in prison? How can it be so?

>>35420651
The TRUE story about Michael Jackson that you've never heard :

(and you'll soon wish that you never had to learn)

OKAY, GET READY....

IM ABOUT TO BLOW YOUR MIND

AND THIS IS ALL GOING TO BE 100% TRUE

>>35423367
Shut up Johnny, we all know it's just going to be another lame story about you.

Okay... For starters, Michael Jackson was NOT fucking those boys

100% TRUE

BUT YOULL SOON WISH HE WAS, WHEN YOU HEAR THE TRUTH

When they asked the kids "did he touch you down there?" The answer was always NO...

they were asking the wrong question..

there was a Hispanic housekeeper that got hired to work at the Jackson compound. I believe her name is Esmeralda... Anyway...

She was told that her job wasn't going to be like any other housekeeping job she ever had. Every servant had ONE SPECIFIC JOB, one task, and that's all....

Her job was opening very expensive packs of underwear, and folding them into a specific configuration, like origami...

THEN, she was to place this new underwear on a SILVER PLATTER literally... Literally... Then cover it with a silver top and take this tray and place it in front of Michael Jackson's bedroom. She was told NEVER EVER TALK TO MR JACKSON.

to be continued

>>35423400
No....

This is 100% true

I wish it wasn't

So will you

Pay attention

Continued...

She was THEN instructed to take an identical silver tray from the floor in front of his bedroom, and WITHOUT EVER OPENING THE TRAY to take it immediately through the kitchen and toss it into the incinerator in a back room

100% TRUE

one day, her curiosity got the best of her and she opened it.

It was FILLED WITH UNDERWEAR THAT WAS COVERED IN DIARRHEA !!!

this fact came out during deposition, and that's when investigators asked her "were the children in his room during these times?"

"Yes. Of course. There were always children in his room"

The investigators went back to the children to rephrase their questions...

To be continued

Children are funny

Their honesty is disarming

But their innocence can lead you to not understand their honesty

Especially when you're asking the wrong questions

NEW QUESTION: "we know about Michaels accidents in his underwear. What can you tell us about it?"

" oh... THAT..... yeah, he's our friend but he has a problem where he poops himself"

"What happened when he pooped himself?"

"We would all clean him up"

he had the children help him remove his underwear, and wipe him off... His ass, his thighs, his scrotum, etc

100%TRUE

one kid slipped up

He mentioned Michaels PEE PEE

"it's solid black"

Wtf ?

Yep

Michael Jackson had an acid bleach technique applied to his entire body

Everywhere....

Except his genitals....

His dick remained black as night...

At this point, they went to the other children

"We know his PEE PEE was black. Tell us about it"

They ALL verified it

A petition was immediately filed in court, and the judged issued a warrant

A warrant for a PHOTOGRAPH OF HIS PENIS

to be continued

>>35423712
Lmao I love you. Thank you for this

Perhaps you're old enough, (or well researched enough) to remember a famous televised statement by Michael Jackson who was wearing a red satin shirt during at the statement

In the broadcast statement he was crying... he was such an idiot he had the unmitigated stupidity and audacity to actually come on TV and complain that the police had come to his house with a search warrant and forced him to take his pants off and take pictures of his penis

They certainly did

that's exactly what they did under a judge's orders

And guess what the photographs showed?

Just like the children had described Michael Jackson's genitalia had not been bleached

......get ready for the big part

Michael Jackson had a manager who tried to model himself after Elvis Presley's manager Colonel Tom Parker... in fact Michael Jackson's entire life was nothing more than a cheap imitation of trying to be a gay version of Elvis

All the way to calling his house Neverland emulating Elvis's Graceland

Michael Jackson's manager went to Sony records and tried to get a large sum of money to pay off the families of the children fast before criminal prosecution begin

Sony records told the manager that Michael Jackson was unbankable

At that point Michael Jackson wasn't worth a penny to Sony records

For mysterious reasons that nobody can explain, his manager went back again the next day and walked out of the building with a ONE BILLION DOLLAR ADVANCE

ONE BILLION DOLLARS

This was an advance on music that would never be created

The families of the children were all paid off to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars each

Perhaps you remember the news footage of Michael Jackson dancing on top of the SUV like an idiot

It's all true

Wouldn't it be nice if Michael Jackson were simply actually molesting the kids like any other normal perver instead of intentionally giving himself diarrhea by becoming addicted to laxatives so that the children would have to wipe his testicles clean of diarrhea?

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>>35420651

Having cute boys serenade you

Overrated

Just ask jackos corpse

>>35420651
By the way

100% TRUE

COMPLETELY TRUE

https://youtu.be/855qMXaFl-E

Watch it

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>>35423479
>Okay... For starters, Michael Jackson was NOT fucking those boys
>BUT YOULL SOON WISH HE WAS, WHEN YOU HEAR THE TRUTH
You ok, Johnny?

>>35424012
I don't know

Ask my wife if I'm okay

Let's ask your wife if you're okay

No ?..

Okay let's ask your girlfriend if you're okay

No ?!!!!
Really ?!!!...

so I suppose you're not doing all that good after all

Like I said it would be so nice if Michael Jackson was simply molesting those children

But would you discover the truth about the diarrhea, the laxatives, the penis and the diarrhea on the testicles

Thank God he's dead

Sony records now owns 50% of the Michael Jackson estate

They're going to get their money back one way or another

Okay okay okay

I have been talking about it for some time, but today is the day that my wife Wendy is coming to r9k to share some of her amazingly insightful philosophies on life

Shes been busy doing digital animations & art, but today I'm going to actually convince her to log in and join us

Wendy's childhood was AWFUL

you've never met anyone with a worse past....

If ANYBODY has a justified excuse to allow their past to define them and 'cave in', it would be WENDY

but she has SUCH AN AMAZINGLY STRONG POSITIVE ATTITUDE

you're going to learn a lot from wendy

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Little did you know you'd end up being mentored by a woman

A woman who's SO MUCH STRONGER than you

And so much more compassionate and understanding than you

Again: you're going to learn alot

A middle aged Mexican started singing to me in Spanish very quietly on the bus, followed me off the bus and started chasing me until a bunch of local drunks in their front yard stopped him.
Does that count?

Wendy's eating a tangerine right now

but I am about to text her the URL to this particular thread

We are going to be eating lunch soon so I'm sure she'll only be in this thread for a short amount of time

But you'll be able to find her in the other threads later today.

Feel free to ask her anything

>>35424631
Lol @ you not knowing Spanish

He was singing the traditional Hispanic song 'transsexuals must die'

Dear Wendy, what's it like being married to such a pain in the ass?

Sorry I meant a PAIN IN YOUR RECTUM

>>35424811
Pain in the ass? He's amateur at best. I've run across MUCH worse in my time. Leave your bedroom occasionally, and you'll see how much worse the rest of the human race is...

>serenaded by a few cute boys from /mu/

They are shitty people. The experience has ruined most musicians for me. Anytime i find out a guy plays guitars, piano/keyboard, drums or bass makes me drier than a desert.

>>35424833
Has he mentioned my lust for anal sex?

>>35424845
You should hear MY SERENADE

https://youtu.be/ajR2VHT0ijM

>>35424874

Bitch, I forgot to add the TM

not anymore

Tfw I can tear it up hard on guitar and can sing, but I'm a short ugly overweight chink. Most women would much rather be serenaded by gollum, it seems

>>35424898
Somebody has to be the brains of this operation.

>>35424901
I agree

Gollum was Eastern Indian I believe

And let's be honest... Even if an inbred mosquito serenaded a girl....

at least their penises are bigger than Asians

>>35424901
Who says short, overweight, or chink is bad? It's a matter of perception. Who says 'tearing it up on guitar's is a good thing? Just be you while playing your guitar...1000 percent you...Do it as if YOU'RE unaware that short, overweight, and chink is undesirable to others' perceptions and you'll make all three of those adjectives badass suddenly.

>>35425034
Your biggest mistake? Listening and believing anything society tells you... What's 'cool', 'uncool', desirable or undesirable... Civilized society is anything but civilized

WENDY & JOHNNY NEPTUNE

THE FIRST HUSBAND AND WIFE SHITPOSTING TEAM OF R9K

I think I speak for the entire room when I say we hate people who say 1000%

Show us your fucking tits

>>35425108
Show us your tits...I mean TIT...

>>35420684
Agree. Even a happy birthday song makes me cringe away. I know they mean well but I fucking hate it if people sing in real life (in contrast to videos. I only like recorded music)

>>35425124
1000 percent...I'm only remembering who my audience is...You and your fag robot friends...

>>35424901
I think Wendy just solved your problem

(That's a phrase I'm going to have to keep adding to, because I'll be saying it so much)

Good God the Neptunes are multiplying. Somebody stop them before it's too late

>>35425215
Multiplying

Not exactly

I fuck her in the ass to prevent that

Okay, we are going to do lunch

But Wendy may even continue while eating, like I always do