/r9k/ joins the French foreign legion

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>tfw rejoining the FFL over and over under different assumed names because it guarantees French citizenship
>tfw you've accumulated over 10 fake identities, with legit papers and everything, plus a shitload of combat experience
>phase one is almost complete

I'm probably fit/smart enough to get in. Don't know a lick of French though, so I'd have to pick it up quickly.

>>35396165
They teach you French. And they make sure you learn it quickly.

>>35396121
So you would have to be in the legion for 50 years in order to do this. When you turn 39/40 or so you can no longer become a legionnaire, or you have to retire once your 5 year contract is over.

>>35396185
I know

Learning a while new language while doing all the other training would still be hard, though.

>>35396190
Or he'd have to get wounded in combat a bunch of times

I'd probably do alright, I was very fit a few years ago and I could probably get to that level again pretty easily.

I wouldn't want French citizenship though, the place is full of kebab and dindu.

>>35396207
Or he'd have to lie about his age. Or some combination of these.

>>35396220
>I wouldn't want French citizenship though, the place is full of kebab and dindu.
I'm sure it's still very nice outside of the major cities.

>>35396244
Yeah, for now.

Give it ten years and the place will look like dinduistan.

>>35396207
>>35396224

but then he probably couldn't re-enlist in the legion due to medical issues, as any wound that would land someone citizenship probably would be debilitating in a work environment like the FFL. Legion also does some behind the scenes stuff to figure anything about who you are, so its a no go for these two theories.

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The French are fucking retarded, why would I want to be part of their retarded "legion"? I would prefer to join the military of my home country (Australia) but can't due to various medical issues.

>>35396309
Their requirements are a bit lower. I have myopia, so yeah.

>>35396266
It will be nowhere near as dindu and sandnigger as Burgerland.

>>35396309
>tfw you almost got into the military
>tfw you fucked it up by telling them you really don't think you'd have a problem killing people so they don't have to worry about you freaking out and getting PTSD or anything

>>35396352
How does that work? Is it simply a way to try to avoid any "incidents" that may happen, I thought sociopaths a psychopaths were highly sought after as they have no qualms about causing a death of something.

>>35396382
Not in Australia. The Australian military only takes turbo normies. The screening test actually wants people who have empathy and are completely full blown normie. Like "my favourite thing is playing sports with my mates" type normie.

>>35396406
I fucking hate this country.

All I wanted was to kill somebody.

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>>35396406
Well, there's my backup plan gone.
I'm far from a normie.

>>35396428
Just lie bruh

>>35396441
You'll have to be a good liar, they are very good at picking up people who are even slightly odd in the interviews.

>>35396451
Just answer there questions, and lying in parts that youd think they might kick you out for, and don't add anything to fuck you over.

>>35396425
>>35396428
Just join the FFL then

>>35396266
>this is what americans believe

>>35396618
I'm Australian.

I'd kill you if they'd let me into our army.

>>35396067
You've already said what we would do, so why ask again? Are you raterdod?

>>35396633
Wow, didn't know Australians believed bullshit lile that too.

>heh, I'd kill you kiddo
Edgy

>>35396633
>>35396618
To be fair Australians are dumb cunts, too.

>>35396224
Lying isnt smart though, the background checks are pretty solid these days.

>>35396654
I thought this was about personality and shit, not history. I mean you ain't joining the CIA, so background checks aren't gonna fuck you that much if you've been a good boy.

>>35396746
They dont care about education, but they dont take that many people with a criminal record anymore, especially if youre lying about it. And they sure wont pick someone whose ID seems fishy since there are tons of candidats without any issues. Might have changed though, i think they want to recruit about 2500 additional people til 2018

If you're form the western world they're big chances to be rejected.
The legion is hard and when they have two candidates, one just took a plane to come to France and the other had to cross Africa during 2 months, they will take the african guy because he's motivated and has less chance to desert.

>>35396654
what fucking background checks
the point is they give you a new start in exchange for fighting for them, isn't it?

>>35396969
they'll check your criminal record, don't lie to them because they'll find out.
Having a criminal record doesn't mean they'll reject you except if it's rape or murder.
The time when they took war criminals from the balkans is over

>>35396969
the legion isnt meant to be canon fodder anymore, its an elite shock troop, so they are selective. since they have so many applicants that they only took 1 out of 13 in 2013, they can afford to only take the best. i even red somewhere that the average IQ is 120 by now

>>35396618
this is actually true

t. living in a 90 % non-white city just outside paris

when you see what the population has become in huge parts of the country it's only normal to fear it'll get worse in another 20 years

>>35396406
New Zealand here, it's the same fuckin thing. Literally all the armed forces do is play sports and exercise since nobody wants our sheep stock.

>>35397048
Western countries aren't going to lose their white majority.
>inb4 brown people have more kids
That evens out within 2 generations.

>>35397558
I'm sure no one is sick of the whiney way you talk. Not at all.

>>35396067

I'm pretty sure my heart would actually give out and kill me if I exerted myself to the level that they expect just to get in.

Not even fat, just weak heart.

>>35396067
I'm a 55kg skelly.
I don't think I could last more than two days at the FFL, it's the definition of HARSH.

>>35396969
>the point is they give you a new start in exchange for fighting for them, isn't it?
No, this is what autistic fuckups would like to believe so they can have a plan B in the back of their heads at all times. No matter how many mistakes they make or what sorry situation they end up in, they'd like to think that adventure and success are only a plane ticket away. The reality is that the modern FFL is the next step for career soldiers who already have experience in the armed forced of their own nations. It's something you have to apply and hope to be selected to join, not the Island of Misfit Toys.

>>35396067
it isnt the 19th century any more

they dont take anyone and you cant if youre a criminal. You dont get a new id either (you do get citizenship though) so i dont see any reason to do this

Id probably be shit because im a conplete lanklet. I imagine i could pick up french since im not a brainlet and i already know how to shoot but i cant see myself exceling at the physical aspect