ITT Self hate

>>35389683
Anon would you mind elaborating? I want to talk to you.

>>35389683

I have fucked up my life so bad. Self harm scars that openly advertise how fucked in the head I am, will keep me from ever getting a gf no woman wants to date a fucking pussy.

Over educated over achiever with two and half decades of school and a degree with responsibilities I will never be able to live up to. Everyone will soon find out i'm a fraud and the ugly reality of what I am will be rightly exposed for all to see.

Also half spic half euromutt I don't even fucking make sense genetically.

The best thing that could possibly happen is for me to die before residency begins and then I will at least die with some promise I never had the opportunity to fail to live up to.

>>35389826
I do mind elaborating. Why would you even want to talk to me?

>>35389683
>disgusting pedophile
don't worry anon I found a cure
Just space out your faps a lot. When you go without fapping for a few days, you can jack to anything. So you do that, you fap to regular porn, and you're basically rewiring your brain to be attracted to adults.

I mean, you'll still be full of remorse over your past life, but hey it's better than nothing.

>>35389863
At least you got a degree.

>>35389926

I'm gonna kill people and then get fired. I have made so many mistakes as a student. Next year no more student.

>>35389979
Nevermind I am not a pedo and was tired so didn't read that part properly

>>35390011
I should really kill myself. I'm so fucking disgusting and stupid.

>>35390010
You still have a degree. If I lost my job I'd probably have to kill myself because I have no skill and am unemployable. I'm so fucking stupid.

>>35390036
But you have a bf who loves you very much

OP what's the worst thing you've ever done in regards to your fetishes
I mean clearly you want to improve so that's something

I am a useless idiot who doesn't contribute anything of value anywhere.

>>35390036

My degree is worthless without residency which will be hell and probably won't finish once they realize what they got stuck with.

>>35390072
Good luck anon. What degree did you get?

>>35390056
I bought used loli panties at garage sales over a few years. I've stopped but I still have them.

>>35390063
There's not enough self hate in that post anon.

>>35390050
I know.

>>35390117
MD

Turns out you can overcompensate for a for years, when I was younger I didn't care if I had to study more to get what I wanted but eventually you just wind up surrounded by people you can't keep up with anymore and you've destroyed your life just to get this worthless opportunity to embarrass yourself everyday. I have too much debt to quit. Literally over 200 thousand.

I am a boring/annoying weird person I have been told that I'm a chore to be around and I have the self-consciousness to realize that it's true

>>35390294
Medical Doctor? You could always become a physician instead right?

Self-hate discord server. Just started today.

https://discord.gg/JBPQ4

I'm human garbage, complete shit, no skills and a waste of resources. I am too stupid to contribute anything, too dumb to make any friends, its really no wonder why I spend so much time in this dump. I'm a fucking loser and should die. Worse yet I'm a fucking ugly nigger, I come from shit and was born shit. My own existence means there is no God who created us in his image, I am trash.

I have incredibly high standards knowing that I am completely hypocritical with them. If I am in a bad mood I only get pleasure from tearing other people down to feel as bad as I do. I'm a horrible person whose only purpose thus far has been to learn people's insecurities and use those weaknesses against them. And even when I go off the deep end and send people to suicidal feelings I rarely feel bad. I just back off so that I don't get some kind of blame should something happen to them.

>>35390314

Yeah, same thing. I could maybe do some weird work for an insurance company auditing medical records. Honestly I just wanna go back in time have a normal college experience basically redo my 20's. I really fucked it up. I can't really relate to most people anymore. I relate more to NEETs bc I also have pretty much ruined my 20's doing worthless shit and lost social skills, have no friends, can't even imagine romantic relationship, etc. They actually have 200 thousand more net worth than me lol.

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>>35390272
throw them out
you haven't hurt anybody
you can be redeemed

>>35390272
Did you ever use cp?
You should probably throw those out anon
Anon I want to help you

>>35390545
>>35390539
I'm almost 30. I've tried everything. You can't get rid of fetishes.

>>35390507
Are you a pajeet?

>>35390347
>Worse yet I'm a fucking ugly nigger
I honestly believe niggers have life on hard mode.

>>35390437
I do that too anon. Just try to catch yourself before you get angry and cut the source of anger off.

>>35390585
Did you ever consider chemical castration anon?
Wouldn't it be so much more freeing to just not have to worry about this anymore?

>>35390585
you don't have to. fantasies don't make you a bad person, they are just fantasies. just stay away from cp and throw them out.

>>35390633
Chemical casteration has too many side effects.
Worrying about what? I only fap to legal stuff. I'm just a fucking piece of shit for even being attracted to it.
Even my mom knew I was a disgusting faggot. I should kill myself.

>>35390585

Are you asking if I'm Indian?

No I'm Amerimutt, half spic half euromutt. Genetically I am a fucking abomination.

There is literally no reason why any woman would ever be in a relationship. I will always be alone. Any woman who would be with me would end up regretting it. I have nothing going for me in any aspect.

I can't find happiness in relationships with others, and I can't find fulfillment by myself. I'm a useless person. I have no use. I do nothing. I don't like anything. I'm bitter and tired and annoying and obnoxious and I have no positive impact on the world. I'm not helping anyone and I'm not helping myself. I don't know what to do.

>>35390659
Did you ever use cp in the past?
I'm curious anon.
If your mum knows about this stuff, does she still love you?

I think you might be beating yourself up too much over something that's not in your control

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>>35389683
You're an autistic faggot, me

thanks, me

>>35390808
Even if I said "No" you wouldn't believe me.

>If your mum knows about this stuff, does she still love you?
I haven't seen her in 10 years. She kicked me out of the house when I was 11. I don't know anything about her life. I don't even remember what she looks like.

>I think you might be beating yourself up too much over something that's not in your control
I hate being a faggot more than a pedophile. I'm also a low income worthless piece of shit. I have no education, I'm an idiot, I have no social skills and even online I'm an annoying piece of shit.

>>35390849
No, I would believe you anon. You're anonymous here anyway. Everything posted here is an autistic work of fiction.

I'm unattractive but look down on unattractive women
I think I'm better than most people I meet yet they've inevitably achieved more or are happier
I am overpaid but still greed for more so that I can retire at 40 and sloth around worthlessly
I graduated from a top Uni but my colleagues nearly all are now paid more
The above statement bothers me even though I know they put in much more effort than I
I'm incapable of forming emotional connections with anyone including friends and gfs
I can tell I have a predisposition to alcoholism
I have grand plans to get fit again, master piano, hike this weekend, call mom, grow some herbs, but these plans never fruit, and I just sit on my computer waiting for motivation to come which never will

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>>35389683
I'm a manchild. I harbor no ability to adapt or change. I spend each day obsessing over inconsequential and trivial matters. I debate with hundreds of people living in my brain over the futile topics of the world. I didn't use to care about any of these mundane topics of conversation but now they haunt me as they float around inside the forefront of my mind. It started slow and trickled into my subconscious through bouts of lowered inhibition as a result of alcohol consumption. I didn't used to drink or engage in present-day optimistic communicative behaviors, just floated in neither past, present nor future. Then I digested brainwashing content geared towards social creatures with intentions that have since gone sour. Now it's a slump. I am a mimic, a pathological liar at times for purposes I do not usually understand, a mask wearer and an impostor. That is my way of avoidance, my refuge. Walking the tightrope. Several mechanisms no more hideous than an identity, personality or an ego taking the place of me. I don't remember my life. I don't remember who I am. Hollow on the inside, steel bars on the outside. Prison brain. Gutter. When I find myself speaking at any given moment, moving my body a certain way, speaking a line, playing a note, I recall the time and place I consumed it. I visualize the memory as I regurgitate it. I don't like this consumption as the brain becomes filthy and contaminated. It moves further away from the routine and thrusts me into pointless matters based in present-day problems that aren't problems at all, but distractions from otherwise more interesting meaningless distractions I would rather engage in until I die of causes unknown and that's that. There is a certain standard of criteria and routine I once stuck to and wish to stick to again. Nothing but instant gratification vacuous garbage now. Shouldn't have become an alcoholic. Went from no sense of self and no presence to a trainwreck with a mouth full of sludge. Fuck it.

someone please reply to me and confirm my own self-hatred

I'm short, skinny, and have a hunchback. Nothing I do works out and always ends in failure. I can't stop embarrassing myself in public and I'm not good at anything. I'm not smart, I lack common sense and I'm going no where in life. No one takes me seriously and I'm still treated like a child by my family. I don't let myself get too close to people because I always seem to ducking ruin any relationship. Speaking of relationships, I've never been in a romantic one. No one has found me attractive. I have acne and blackheads that won't go away. I don't talk often, but when I do, I say dumb shit because that's what I am, fucking dumb. I want to die

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>I pour my heart put to /r9k/ and don't even get one single (you)

>>35391219
You look like a tranny lmao haha

I jack off to 2D women in hentai books. I am 20 and still a /V/irgen

>>35389683
They called me the star child. I hailed from the top of my class 1946. Had a baby elephant with stunted growth and a lovable personality named after me in Minnesota after I saved a down syndrome woman and her incest child from a truck full 'o bricks and dead dogs. Posed real nice for the camera, gave 'em a toothy grin and a thumbs up. Pockets were overflowing with candy as per usual as I was always ready to lure an unsuspecting child to my house and beat it to death with a wrench while screaming my mother's name, and on that particular day a bunch 'o kids were coming to the zoo for a field trip. I was a celebrity for a day, so I thought I'd leave an impression for the papers. Emptied my pockets right to the very bottom. Each smilin' little kid went home happy that day and had a new hero with signatures and photos to put on their wall. I became a local household name. When my fame began dwindling down and beating kids to death became got borin' I snuck in through the back 'o the zoo fully loaded, decked out in black from head to toe. I had beat the dead elephant to a pulp literally and figuratively. It was time for the 'ol wee bastard to meet his maker. The next morning the papers echoed my name out from one end of the world to the next as I came on for an interview and gave them crocodile tears and a speech I had memorized while masturbating to stock images of smiling old men eating fruit salad. The notorious elephant killer became a top hit, the papers ran it all 'round the world. I was studying to become a detective at this point and everyone was followin' my journey to the top. I was the man for the case, hired on the spot. I spent 3 years watching moe anime and plotting out a staged case as the world was hung in suspense. All things must come to an end my dadda said, and that they did. Framed the murder on the head of the department and got his fuckin' job. Everyone was lickin' my ass for a handshake. Then the dinosaurs came back and everyone died.

I am a literal human shitstain.

I never open my mouth because I know how fast id fuck up every relationship I have. I can't even bring myself to try to enter a realatio ship with a woman because I know all id do is hurt both of us, but no, I wouldn't learn. I go back to my goddamn house and sit infront of my pc jerking it like nothing ever happened. I'm a self absorbed, supercillious, awkward, dangerous piece of human trash that deserves nothing he has.

>>35391468

This is kinda wonderfully disorganized. Are you schizophrenic?

I'm a terrible human being. I'm scamming my family out of thousands of dollars by doing the bare minimum at university. I'm awful to talk to. I'm painfully unfunny. Despite knowing I'm an awful person, I'm desperate for the constant validation of my peers. I am a truly awful human being. The world would be better off if I were to die now, but I enjoy living too much to ever let that happen.

At least I'm not a virgin faggots.

>>35391865
Just do better at university

>>35391254
y...y...you too
b...bitch

Losing my job six months ago due to the inability to handle full time work has made me lose the very little self-worth I've had for the past few years. The only people in my life I genuinely care about are my direct family and two close internet friends, the former I know I should be contributing to and the latter I don't even get to speak to half the time because of the fact they work.

I spend my days half heartedly looking for work I dread getting even more since now I know I can't handle it, and waiting for my friends t come online so I can talk yo them, but even then I'm beginning to question if I'm even worth the time they have to invest in responding to me.

I also tell myself to shut the fuck up because these problems are minor compared to some of the shit the people I know put up with mentally and I don't have a right to whine when my problems amount to nothing.

I feel like I have zero worth to anyone