Anyone here just done? Depression Thread

>>35369761
I'm pretty much done. I don't even really have a reason, my brain just refuses the feeling of happiness. My psychiatrist is a dick. My therapist is a whore. Group therapy is sharing sappy storied because feelings r 2 hard. I don't know what to do. Used to use ketamine at least three times a day just to not kill myself. Now out of money and out of ketamine. I'm fucked. I'm not attractive, smart or funny and all I do is lurk 4chan and watch shit YouTube let's plays because playing video games requires too much effort. The only person who I can talk to and who I enjoy being friends with lives on the other side of the planet and chances are we'll never meet because of my shit life decisions.

I feel like a lot of people simply don't understand why people would commit suicide because they don't understand that life for some is just an inherently negative experience. It's not that my life is (was) shit, it's just that even when things are going "good" I am not happy. I can hang out with friends and date girls and get good grades and make music but no matter what I do it just doesn't bring joy. It makes more sense for me to discontinue living than to continue suffering. Once I realized I couldn't make myself happy I just stopped trying.
>>35369973
I would say get a new psychiatrist/therapist. If you just can't find one that's worthwhile then give up like me I guess desu. How is ketamine? I started doing opiates when I realized I wasn't going to continue living and it was fun for a whole while I guess.

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>tfw ugly
>tfw stupid
>tfw no personality
>tfw no friends
>tfw scared of people
>tfw failed all my classes in community college

>tfw my mom still expects me to get a master's degree in cyber security

>>35369973
Did you get the ketamine in person from a dealer or on the darknet? I've been wanting to give it a try before I finally decide to kill myself

I honestly recommend that everyone in this thread try psychadellic drugs. Inb4 le drug maymay. In my experience they can provide an invaluable moment of assessing your life from the outside, without the influence of any emotion.

>>35369761
I'm planning on being dead by the end of the month. I'm just not made for living.

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Yeah I'm 32 and been wanting to since 15. Doesn't make sense. I'm decent looking make 200k a year have a great family and friends. Had a few serious long term relationships but that doesn't change it either. Only reason I haven't done it is my dog. He's too good and means too much to me.

>>35370338
>I'm decent looking make 200k a year have a great family and friends. Had a few serious long term relationships

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE???

>>35370435
Because sometimes the inner self hate doesn't go away. I'm an example that even if you succeed in life it's still not worth living.

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>>35369761
The best way to fight depression is to act. Make fucking something, anything, just take action. This will help to focus in just that task and put your mess in stand by for a while so you can think clearly. While depressed you can't see your options and really think you are fucked because you are drowning in your own thoughts.

Ironically, killing yourself is an action so you truly will be alive and undepressed for like 2 seconds.

>>35370228
Honestly Acid is my last resort and I want to try it before I kill myself I just can't find someone to sell it to me.

>>35370664
You deserve to hate yourself. You're an ungrateful piece of shit. I unironically want you skinned alive and thrown into a pool of acid. Fuck off.

What is hope? Is it just some kind of faith? Why should I have hope? Why should I blindly look forward to something I never know will actually happen? I feel like hope is the last resort a psychiatric facilitator will pull on you to keep you going and it's bullshit. If everything in life makes me miserable there is no hope for a job, a family or anything else they expect of me.

I'm going to embrace no hope. I'm not going to give a single fuck about anything anybody expects of me, and do exactly as I feel I should do. People will call me crazy and they'll be right. But it's better than having to endure the bullshit people call a 'normal life' when it's putting me further into the ground everyday.

>>35370718
664 here. I'm going down to Peru to do a bunch of ayahuasca for a week. It's my last chance to fight the depression and alcoholism. I really hope it works because I can't keep up with the hell I'm putting myself through.

>>35370845
kek stay mad dumb ugly faggot

>>35371409
>stay mad dumb ugly faggot

I will stay mad. You literally have everything in life other than >tfw no gf, yet you feel like you have a right to complain about anything. You have no right to complain or be sad, and you have no right to be here. If only you could experience being dumb and ugly. Then you'd know what it's actually like to hate yourself, what it's actually like to be sad. I hope your dog dies soon so you can do the same. Ungrateful piece of shit.

>>35369761
i hate everything about myself. But i dont want to die, mainly i don't want to put my family though all of it and also i don't think i could do it. I just want do disappear and start a new life from scratch. I feel i have missed out on everything good in life and now i just feel empty. I have started taking more risks like walking crossing the road without looking, taking more than the dosage amount on medications, just so if i can die and it being an accident. Its stupid logic but thats what i need, im not going to have the guts to purposely kill myself. I've seen enough of this life, i want to move onto another.

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death is just a meme
you keep coming back
i've died hundreds of times
nobody actually dies

>>35369761
I haven't seen my mother in 6 years, and it almost doesn't hurt anymore--I was excommunicated from my family for thought crime, and I don't even want them back. Despite that, it feels good to wade in the self-loathing, even though I really don't care. They're probably dead by now--atleast some of them.

>>35372592
Mfw roasties post about how they made it through depression pujlically on social media . I'm not as far gone as people here in terms of frustration but as someone who's been dealing.with depression that shit infuriates me .

>>35370228
i'd rather an heroin desu

>>35370664
Or maybe it's where you live. Maybe you need to move to a happier country.