/britfeel/ Inbred paki trannys GTFO edition

To the guy moving in with the Indonesian I have a question

Has this guy ever said anything about his peoples tradition or tribes, warrior or the male bond?

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Eewwwwwwwwwwwww go away you creep

Paki trannys? I dont follow these threads but I'm intrigued.

>>35355805
Saved. Thanks mate.

REMINDER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgHNtzxO0y8

>>35355805
I find neither of them attractive

>>35355824
We have tripfag who enjoys telling strangers the tales of the a brown dude growing tits.

>>35355824
>>35355824
Stay away. He's fucking disgusting.

>>35355775

In 2017 so far, I have had 6 naps, and 8 people have knocked on the door.

All 6 of those naps have correlated with one of the times someone has knocked on the door.

>>35355841
>>35355845
...Poleaboo? I used to post on /brit/ and remember he had a sissy blog.

>>35355804
No, not at all. Only time his culture ever came up was when I asked if his gayness was illegal in Indonesia, which it isn't, just highly frowned upon.

>>35355846
Sounds like a conspiracy.


An original one

Why does listening to Vaporwave make me want to come back to /r9k/? Is it the heavy dose of nostalgia, pulling me back to the better times of 4chan? Is it reminiscent of the good old days of /comfy/ threads? Whenever I listen to it I always stop by.

Anybody feel like giving me a quick rundown?

>>35355856
Yes unfortunately. That blog is still up and still as mentally spasticated as before.

>>35355861

In 2016, 23 people knocked on the door, 18 of those times, it wasn't for me and they had the wrong address, only 5 times was it actually for me.

>>35355858
Alright just curious, apparently some Indonesian tribes make older men fuck boys as a form of bonding, wanted to know if maybe he wanted to poz you

>>35355836
they're not really my type either but you must be gay if you wouldn't give them both a good dicking

>>35355775
Hey lads, if I live in the US; but love eating Maltesers, do I belong here?

>>35355900
I don't know what it is but I wouldn't even do that. I guess the one on the left maybe but I'm repulsed by their cunt looks.

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Ready for a good night out tonight lads, what do you think of my getup?

>>35355930
Hmm...what other British things do you like? Where in the US you from?

Lads I cycled 5 miles yesterday, most of it hilly. When do I stop being a fat bastard?

>>35355994
oscar pistorius/10

>>35356024
You'll wake up tomorrow pretty buff lad. Job done.

>>35355994
size of that fucking tie

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>wake up feeling sick

an apple, a drink of whole milk and a medium dose of depression for me

>>35355994
got the football tie thing going on

>>35356073
Does milk actually make you feel better?

>>35355994
Nice tie

>>35356024
Keep at it lad. In no time you'll be doing 30+ miles easily.

>>35356073
fucking hell i thought i was bad but the pictures you post just make me feel sad

Was walking home from uni today and some teenagers started yelling things at me

You know, that stupid attention grabbing faux-serious thing they do

Twats

>>35356073
thats the saddest thing ive ever seen

get well soon anon

>>35356001
New England, my grand parents were British, I like Iron Maiden, Monster Munch, Cadbury (real Cadbury, not the fake US shit), and I live in a town named after a British city.

>>35356109
If you were swole they wouldn't have dared

Start lifting, then track them down on their wedding nights and punish them anally

>>35355805
Kimmy Granger and Sydney Cole, right?

>>35356109
Approach them and if they don't run away get into a fight by nutting the first one you meet.

>>35356121
>(real Cadbury, not the fake US shit)
no such thing anymore amerilad

>>35356121
Birmingham?

London?

Boston?

>>35356126
Not a clue desu lad. Just found it on here.

>We are delighted to invite all physics alumni, staff and students to our departmental social event entitled Inspiring the next generation.
>meet with current physics students and share with them what you are doing now and your tips for success

been unemployed since I graduated 3 years ago
reckon I should pop along?

>>35356126
Yes
>>35356143
Just search their names and you get a video of them sucking some blokes knob

>>35355994
You look autistic

>>35356149
Yes. Give them really poor advice so there's less competition in the future

>21
>never had a job
>made no connections through uni

how fucked am i lads

>>35356149
Definitely. The fear of becoming you will motivate them to excel

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>>35356087
>>35356111
I actually don't really feel sick anymore. I think its because I didn't eat/drink for a while. Milk always refreshes me. going to top it off with a complimentary can of coke zero as always I think


suns out again here, not liking it one bit, reminds me the active months of spring and summer are upon us

>>35356154
Nice one kidaaaaaaaa

>>35355994
this is why you don't buy all your clothes from a charity shop

im thinking about getting into meditation over the summer, and Buddhism. anyone got any book recommendations?

thank you

>>35356204
The Buddhist Bible

It's by Buddha

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>>35355775

Lads, what can I get with 16 pounds?

>>35356223
My friendship. Send it over friend

>>35356132
i don't like being violent unless i have to senpai

>>35356223
butt plug or an onahole

>>35356073
>apples and milk

How do you not shit yourself in 2 seconds?

>>35356154
>Just search their names and you get a video of them sucking some blokes knob

So you do

http://www.xvideos.com/video18191527/kimmy_granger_and_sydney_cole_-_grounded

>>35356223
my virginity haha

>>35356223
A blowjob from a paki prostitute. You will smell like curry for a week.

>>35356214
no such book exists. i think the closest thing to this is the Dhammpada

>>35356245
I've had a history of hard poos and constipation and not going for over a week.

this balances it out I guess

>>35356257

As in a female paki?

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>>35356248
>>35356154
>masterbating to something with a penis in it

>>35356263
>no such book exists

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Buddhist-Bible-Dwight-Goddard/1463643071

>>35356245
One apple and one glass of milk? Why would he shit himself?

>>35356280
Who can tell? They all look the same.

wish I had a cute foreign gf

>Your Secondary reunion is this year

>>35356298
Try it and you tell me.

>>35356334
You old brah

>>35356291
the author is dwight goddard, not buddha.

>>35356348
Prove that Dwight Goddard isn't Buddha

>>35356339
I drink milk and eat an apple every day

>>35356334
Do they do it every 5 years or 10?

>>35356298
Some people just poo themselves from anything lad I think. I was eating two bananas in work once and a coworker said I'll definitely get constipated. I didn't. Hate these poo heads.

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>>35356290
>masturbating at all

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>>35356367
>existing on a materiel plane

>>35356334
>Secondary reunion
they exist in this country? christ

i don't have any social media so unless someone sees my in person, good luck inviting me normalfags

>>35356360

I'm pretty sure the first one is every ten years after graduating then five years afterwards

>>35356341

>26 old

>>35356356
of course i cant, but you're projecting by assuming it to be fact that i will know. the author isnt stated as Buddha, its stated as Dwight Goddard.

what are some good snack foods lads?

sweeties are too sickly, and crisps and too greasy

tried popcorn, but it's too inconsistent

>>35356464
red seedless grapes

>>35356464
carrots, eggs, sausage rolls

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>>35356464
Nuts ladfam

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>>35356464
Eat 8 meals a day faggot RAAAAAAAH

>>35356464
Ginsters cornish pasties cut into pieces with red sauce and salt on

>>35356464
Water

Original content

>>35356464
eat some nuts, crackers

>>35356491
prefer green tbqh

I would like to have coffee with a woman/women in Newcastle. I'm free all evening today but different times can be arranged.

>>35356590
i like being around women, even if i'm a shy virgin

they smell nice

Think I might stay up for two or three days just for the fun. What are your methods for not nodding off to sleep?

>>35356590
>anyone want to meet up with a strange Geordie?

>>35356601
Drugs. Drugs and marathoning a series.

>>35356507
Pls delete this
Syntholblox

>>35356601
>I want pounding headaches and possibly hallucinate, for the fun

Mums just came back with some clothes after be saying no. I tried them on and said I don't like them and to send them back. Is this mean?

Why do curry niggers smell like curry lads? I eat a fuck ton of curry but I don't smell of it.

Do they bathe in it or something?

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>tfw you push someone off a balcony
Post waifus

>>35356667
Not mean but she might feel disheartened depending on her personality, offer to look at some clothes online with her and order something so she knows your taste better

>>35356667
No point buying clothes you're not going to wear.

I stopped buying clothes years ago because I don't leave the house.

>>35356667
bit mean

if she bought them for you might as well wear them, if only to slob around at home

Remember when I bought this and uploaded it for all you lads to enjoy? Have a bunch of similar ones if anyone is keen. Cant remember what the best site to use is?

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>>35356732
ffs forgot image fuck my life reeeeeee

>>35356712
But I told her on the phone not to buy me anything

>>35356605
Why not?

Something different, no harm in it.

>>35356732
yeah i remember. use openload.co

>In 2016 the Home Affairs Select Committee conducted its first ever enquiry into the sex industry.[24] Evidence submitted to the enquiry indicated that Britain had approximately 70,000 prostitutes who earned an average of 2,000GBP a week. Submissions said that sex workers in Britain charged an average of 78GBP for services and had around 25 clients per week.
Imagine being born on easy mode lads

>>35356844
>ywn be a qt woman

i'm fine being a man but christ they have it easy

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>>35356676
That bitch used me as a one night stand.

>>35356750
Wut this chav femdom?
Not sure if want.

>>35356862
I kind of enjoy the struggles of being a loser man. Wanting to die is an interesting feeling.

>>35356464
popcorn
pork scratchings

>>35356888
wow poor you

>>35356914
I've never been so heartbroken in my life.

>>35356844
A lot of them women are immigrants who cant find any other work or drug addicts. Most women dont want to be sex workers because they find it degrading and unsafe. the few that do it for actual money and enjoy it are in the minority. most women would probably rather kys than sleep with lots of random men, even if they earn money.

selling your panties online, and selling nudes is easy money

>>35356844
if you want to make money by letting a fat hairy guy pound you, you probably could

>>35356024
>5 miles

no offence mate but you need to be doing a bit more than that. im out of shape my self and i started mountain biking abouf a year ago, i started off by doing 15 mile rides on mainly flat then started increasing it

main thing i found at first was how sore the bit between my arse and bollocks got, was fucking brutal but after about 4 rides it must have toughened up cos it wasnt much of a problem anymore

nowadays i do about 30-40 miles every sunday, stick at it lad

>>35356892
Not all chavs but yeah just women talking to you like shit and making you their faggot bitch. Have a list of some here.
I get fucked you get fagged
Forced fag double date
hypnotised, ruined and cuckolded
cucky teased by the workout girls
blackmailed bank manager
assworship trample

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>>35356193
but summer means you get to show off those sexy legs and tight boishorts.
>>35356464
I like different hummus flavours with toasted pitta bread.
>>35356676
i would rather stop someone from falling off a balcony, maybe give them a hug.

>>35356970
have you ever actually let a women take control of you when having sex? i have only had sex like 7 times. during sex, when ever the women started to take control, it started to feel worse. i used to wank to a lot of female domination porn before i had sex.

>>35357047
I have but only in a gentle way. Wouldnt be into hardcore domintation. Wouldnt be into hypno-sex slaves either but still fap to it.

>>35357079
>wouldn't be into hypno sex slaves
Wtf, why not

>>35357079
that is originally fair enough

>>35357102
Guilt I guess. I cant even steal panties without feeling like a monster.

>>35356223
Go out to a bar start drinking and fuck a bitch,not difficult.

>So I went and bought a house!
Ex just sent me this message out of the blue. Yay.

>>35356888
Lol,catfish whore if I ever saw one. Stay away from any girl who likes anime or edgy bands,trust me
>t. Chad

>>35357147
>Go out to a bar start drinking and fuck a bitch

this isnt reddit, lad

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>Finished game earlier than expected
>Nier still not out here
Back to 2D idols for my needed escapism.

and now you're thinking, i hope thats shepherds pie in knickers

>>35357170
Does she have enough money for that or is she about to get fucked by a mortgage??

Trouble sleeping since giving up weed lads. Was still wide awake at 10am this morning, got a few broken hours that's it. Fucking shattered lads, fucking miserable to be honest.

>>35357183
Wait... I was Catfished??

lads a girl is flirting with me and i dont know how to respond this is horrible why do normies do this for fun? i dont want to make her feel bad by telling her its better if she forgers my existence but i dont want her to be under the impression im comfortable talking to a girl what do i do fuck me i might just tell her im gay

>>35357228
>giving up weed lads
why though laddo

>>35357183
Is this alligator bro?

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Well fuck it I uploaded one anyway for you lovely boys

/f/wR9Vil-fN10/BeckyCG156H.wmv

>>35357228
about to spark one up lad, this ones for you

>>35357225
She's lived at home and been a teacher for a few years now. Not sure what her fella does. They also live in a Scotland so guessing it's cheap

>>35357236
>a girl is flirting with me
In what way?

>>35357237
Tolerance got too high, even got a little bored of it but the main thing is I need to get in shape and get a fucking job.

>>35357294
dw m8 weed is a normie drug anyway

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Entered a snippet of a book im writing into this website that analyses it and got this

Did I do good?

>>35357328
no lad, you need to be yourself

>>35357294
Well I guess you can daydream about having a nice celebratory smoke when you find one senpai.

>>35357210
Yohane is cute! Cute! I want to marry her!

>>35357210
The fact that shes holding that umbrella in such a retarded way triggers me

>>35357288
she keeps telling me that im handsome and cute, these are meme compliments right? women dont call attractive guys handsome do they? she keeps asking me what i think to her and wants me to 'open up more' to her

dont think she understands lads, is this a normie experiencing her first robot? is she so used to lads just priming up their cock and doing a full frontal attack on her fuck holes that shes unsure how to deal with someone who isnt interested?

>>35357403
Possibly, id get careful lad
Some girls are so used to guys wanting to fuck her that they treat somebody who isnt interested in them like its a massive insult

>>35357328
according to that, tolkien writes like agatha christie

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>fell asleep at my desk
>only woke up because you shoulder was in an awkward position and started to hurt

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>>35357403
roasty whores trying to infiltrate our britbots REEEEEEEEE

FUCK OFF ROASTIES LEAVE OUR KIND ALONE

>>35357170
Why is she telling you? Trying to rub it in or something?

did she dump you or did you dump her?

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>>35357348
>Yohane
!
>>35357366
It's a parasol IIRC if that makes you feel any better.

Another attack of >tfw no friends, tonight.

How do people make friends? Seems easy enough once you've got one, but starting from none is impossible.

Would moving to a new area help? I have that option available.

72,000,000 people on this fucking island, and I can't find one of them to go out and do shit with.

>>35357258
that's not even a link

>>35357506
Girls just have a very strong instinct to brag about everything

>>35357536
Yeah but directly to an ex?

I mean fair enough if she put it on facebook and you just happened to see it, but telling you directly?

>>35357403
>she keeps telling me that im handsome and cute, these are meme compliments right

not really. women do say it as a genuine compliment. a lot of women dont compliment guys at all too, even if they are fucking them. just depends. not all women are the same. how come you are not interested? if she is gagging for it, you may as well go for it. she will look past your shyness if she just wants a cock to sit on while looking at a cute face.

>>35357438
i think this is true too.

>>35357170
Call her a cuck for buying a house at a market high

>>35357438
i get that impression and i dont even talk to women, i have the feeling shes expecting me to have a pure hard on for her when in reality i really feel uncomfortable even talking to her

she was telling me about how shes good at yoga and even tried to get me involved by saying she'd teach me, i told her i have a permanent sensitive knee from when i dislocated it racing my sister home on roller blades

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>>35357509
>72 million people
Uhhhh lad

>>35357549
could be an excuse to talk to you.

>>35357571
Fucking hell man, she is clearly gagging for some of your dick
If you're really not interested just ignore her advances though, she might take the hint

>>35357549
Lad, I reckon she's a cheeky shitweasel. She's trying to rub in how successful she is without you. Maybe she misses you, maybe she's a cunt. If you're not over her, don't respond. If you are; who gives a shit unless you wanna be friends!

>>35357506
When I say 'ex' it was more like we'd always exchange pics/talk dirty then meet up once a year to have sex. Then she got a long term bf and told me to stop.

>>35357571
I feel like you're trolling now

>>35357510
System thinks it spam. openload dot co in front of it.

>>35357607
i outright told her im a virgin and she thinks im joking, im just gonna see how much pathetic things i can say before she gets disgusted

fake piss jug story next i think

>>35357637
maybe shes looking for a hookup again since a lot of woman have the "I still wanna have fun XDDD" mentality while in long term relationships

>>35357637
Could be a braggy way to send feelers out for a resumed fucking?

>>35357658
This is what I like to see lad. Embrace your descent into madness

>>35357507
Shes a girl of many names and titles lad

>>35357637
i was in a similar relationship with a girl except we met up every few weeks or so

i wanted a relationship and she wasnt sure. ended up having an argument with her

>>35357658
Wtf is wrong with you? Get some easy puss man.

>>35357509
>no friends, tonight.
>How do people make friends? Seems easy enough once you've got one, but starting from none is impossible.

I've got a bit of social life now from literally nothing by moving into a shared house. It's still pretty basic but we make food now and then, talk in the communal room, have a drink and go to the pub.

>>35357670
>>35357676
Maybe. Could be hitting her how 'real' the relationship is. I'll keep you lads posted.

>>35357688
What if he gets accused of raping her? game over bruh

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>>35357572

Wow, bit off with that estimate, fair cop.

Still, point stands.

Just going to get high and do nothing about it again, and wonder why my life is so lackluster.

>>35357658
you gay or asexual? mad man lad. post results of her reaction if you do tell her the fake piss storyy

>>35357637
>no posting the pics
Fag

>>35357658
i hate you so fucking much. no girl has ever shown any interest in me. please tell me this isn't real.

>>35357698
I've got the opposite. I'm in a shared fucking house. Barely see these people, only awkward small talk happens and whenever I suggest going out to the pub on the shared whatsapp group, these cunts ignore it. Just silence. (I do get that I might be the problem here and they all have a fucking grand time and make sure the robot isn't involved)

>>35357646
whats the attraction to easy minge? i might be a virgin with no female experience but it doesnt mean i just want to slam my knob into any bint

if its that easy to get her legs open why would i be remotely attracted to it

>at work
>listen to women complaining about hitting the wall and confirming every outrageous r9k claim in the process
>radio on way home
>normies discussing how to police the internet
>get home
>read the paper
>darkies to get different sentencing guidelines, different law, because muh racism

Everything is just ridiculous.

>Want a dog
>Live in a studio flat so no space for one
Guess i'll just get a hamster or something instead

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Subbing to Babes of Britain really fucked my YouTube sub page

>>35357738
>>35357698

Living alone now, so zero interaction with close to anybody outside of work.

Even when I lived in a shared house, attempting to befriend my fellow housemates was a chore.

Sorta coming around to the idea that this is just life, people don't make friends anymore? I dunno.

>>35357747
I agree here. You guys whinging about easy puss; go have a shite experience with a trafficked sex worker. It's not worth (greentext to follow)

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think im about to initiate my piss jug story lads, will keep you updated

heres a picture of her for those intrigued

>>35357747
>if its that easy to get her legs open why would i be remotely attracted to it

but she probably isnt like this with everyone. she is probably only like this with you because she likes you. we need more women who are honest. its fucking annoying the way most women are apathetic and vague. i guess this is why because of people like you who think they are being easy when they are straight forward

>>35357747
No I agree with you there. Your roller skating story just sounded too stupid to be real

>>35357796
Mate she doesnt look too bad. You sure you want to piss away this chance?

>>35357738
>>35357783

To be fair I didn't speak to any of my housemates for the first three months. I only started speaking to one of them when the broadband stopped working for a week, if it wasn't for that I'd probably still not of spoken to them.

>>35357783
where are you from?

originapoio

>>35357796
from that picture she looks well fit lad. what is wrong with you? i dream about what you're experiencing.

>>35357809
the funny thing is that story is genuine, it happened 18 years ago tho and there isnt really any lasting effects i just thought id put that twist on it to see how she reacted for bants tbch

>>35357796
Eww she does bukkake porn. Avoid that anon

>>35357767
Get a bird lad, they're pretty nice and its amusing watching them fly about the place
Just make sure windows aren't open though

>>35356464
RICH TEA BISCUITS.

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>>35357685
I just wanted to make the joke.

I might as well tell you guys about last nights cringe.
>So I was putting my washing in my halls laundry and these drunk bitch girls were in there too
>for some reason, not even doing washing i dont think,
>and they started giggling and laughing at me.
>"Look at that freak" was one thing I heard, as well as "who wears y fronts anymore?".
>Cue them all giggling at me.
>Happens to be my fetish. I was incandescent with horniness.
>When I bent down to pick up my basket, the motion pushed me over the edge
>and i jizzed myself.
>how pathetic am i.

Escort story:
>Be me
>Robot wagie
>Used escort once before
>Meh but still
>Think "can't be any worse than last time"
>Wrong
>Look up local escorts
>Find a decent looking one
>Half an hour for 60gbp
>Fine
>Call escort
>Texts me;
>"I can't hear you, please text"
Now lads, this was the first red flag that I ignored
>Text escort, arrange time
>Use GPS to get to skeezy house
>Texts
>"I'm outside"
>"Ok, wait one minute"
>Tiny brown hooker opens door
>Beckons me inside
>Robot does not compute
>"S-S-Should I t-t-t-ake my s-s-hoes offffff here"
>Points at hallway
>Anemic hooker: "Sorry no english"
Fuck lads. Fuck. I know I've fucked up here but I've got this far and she's got a pretty face.
>Hooker leads me upstairs.
>Go into skeezy room
>She closes the curtains
>Turns on the light
>Lightbulb breaks
>Fuck.
>She leaves the room for a second, leaving me standing around like a bellend
>Comes back in, gestures to follow her.
>Follow her up more stairs into even skeezier room
>Hand over my hard earned wageslavery
>Nervous as fuck
>Hooker can tell
>Doesn't speak english
>Is confused, never dealt with a robot before
>Her: "You...ok? All good?"
>Me: "N-N-Nervous"
>Her:"What? No english. Ok?"
>Give her thumbs up and shit eating grin

>>35357878
You should rape them all lad

>>35357891
>Hooker gestures at bed
>"You cloths off"
>I disrobe, except my pants for robot reasons.
>Hooker is pretty but skeletal
>Boner not complying yet
>Hooker makes me take my pants off
>She is still fully clothed, can see her nips through her white shirt
>She gets out tools of trade; johnny and lube
>Start playing with my little chap
>The bastard is growing, thank fuck
>My money won't be wasted tonight!
>Still nervous as shit
>Hooker keeps asking if I am ok
>Keep giving her thumbs up
>Giving me a decent handy
>Start feeling her up
>Lying on shitty bed at this point
>Go to take her top off
>Me leaning up scares her
>"No kiss"
>Nod and motion her to take her top off
>Regret
>Tits are tiny saggy creatures
>Like half full water balloons on a skeleton
>Boner takes a hit
>She's still mashing it mind you
>Get her to get naked
>She's still mashing away
>Motion I want sex
This lads, is where I got fucked. In most senses of the word.
>"Sex?"
>Thumbs up
>"You big anaconda"
>"My pussy small"
>I motion for sex again
>She says "Big anaconda, too big"
>IDK I want sex, I paid!
>Too robot to say that, just motion again and she reluctantly lubes up
>Starts half heartedly riding me, no eye contact
>In visible pain
>Has hand down there to prevent me from going balls deep
>She complains and gets off
>"You too big, anaconda"
Lads, this isn't a humblebrag. Don't get shafted like me. I am average sized. This whore played on my ego so she wouldn't have to ride me.
>Goes back to half hearted jerking off
bot, make sure your escort speaks english.

>>35357747
Getting a bit fed up seeing this term loosely thrown around if i'm being completely honest. Can we stop guys? How would you like it if you got raped? Not a sensible term to use so loosely.

>>35357907
>It's taking me ages to jizz
>Situation is very awkward
>Hooker asks "You smoke, drink or cocaine"
>Assume this is because it's taking me forever to cum at the inept mashing of this overpriced tiny whore
>She keeps having to switch hands and is visibly annoyed at how long I'm taking.
>I smile "No, no smoke or drink"
>She's surprised "No?"
>"No"
>"Oh, you a good boy"
Lads, that skanks smile when she said it; It was enough.
>For shame
>I came because she called me a good boy
>This hooker made me cum
>Feel intense shame and annoyance
>Had to settle with a handy because she massaged my ego about my anaconda
Moral of the story lads; if you're a robot, make sure your escort speaks english

Long cunt of a story, fucked up the last bit in prev post. Enjoy.

>>35357878
I'm not even joking when I say I want to punish each of those girls for this mate.

>dinner soon, my favourite too
>need something comfy to watch for an awesome evening
>can't find anything

HELP

>>35357878
yeah but c'mon mate Y-fronts?

>>35357945
Ghibli movies?

>>35357747
Sorry
>>35357930
Is meant for>>35357895

>>35357945
I'm watching Dragon Ball Super for the comfy nostalgia feels.

>>35357940
yeah, despite it making me blow in my pants i had a cry about it later

fuck you paradox reeeeeeee

>>35357932
she was probably asking you about cocaine or smoke because her boss is most likely a dealer

iv had a couple of ezzies ask me if i want to buy any blow

>>35357966
i agree lad. its edgy. no one here would like to be bum raped

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Lads is anyone else deathly afraid of getting an std? I'm a kv but given the very small chance that i manage to get laid i just know it would be just my luck that i get an std first time. How can chads use tinder so casually knowing that the girl they're fucking has probably fucked like 10 guys before them and so has a good chance of having an std that they might not even know they have?

Knowing my luck my first kiss will probably give me oral herpes because normies seem so nonchalant about that.

>>35357957
y not

originalerooni

>>35358067
thats obviously not true... i personally know some as well.

>>35358067
yeah no one would want that haha especially not me haha

>>35357966
I think you've forgot what website you're on.

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>new neighbours
>pure scumbags
>apparently the bloke is linked to the scouse mafia
>mfw

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>>35356464
bitesize pork pies

>>35358153
>Scouse Mafia
Be VERY careful now kidda laaa

>>35358153
>>apparently the bloke is linked to the scouse mafia

what is his name? i might know of him

>>35355775

Post your photos britanons

>>35358216
Don't be naming names lad. You'll get a hit put out on /britfeel/

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>>35358230
Ok mate dont rate me too harsh

>>35358089

I've had sex twice, both one night stands, both without a condom. I was fine

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>>35358193
stop it fuck sake

I've had an Amazon Gift Card since December, would it still use now or do I have to renew it?

>>35358230
photo of what mate?

>>35358247
>You'll get a hit put out on /britfeel/

First GCHQ, now the scouse mafia? Can't they all just leave us the fuck alone.

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>>35358230
since you didnt specify, im just gonna assume this is what yer after pal

>>35358263

face, nothing lewd ffs

Lads, why is it that I can't smoke weed without getting highly introspective and anti-social? I lose the ability to have fun completely and feel totally ill-at-ease around whoever I'm smoking with - feel like I'm constantly being laughed at or that they hang around with me out of amused pity. I also get into cycles of extremely negative thoughts, generally about my fear that people view me as a loser or whatever. Never had a laughing fit in my life. For me, it isn't a light and fun thing - it's an intense, full-on, VR-type experience where I just want to listen to music or whatever in silence. Even songs that I listen to all the time sober can sometimes sound weirdly intimidating or obnoxious when high.

>>35358287
That's a sizeable dongaloo, lad.

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>>35358287
Nice willy senpai, got some nice smegma stored up i hope
>>35358230
posting the classic

>>35358355
>>35358401
y-you too lads you too

>>35358253
Don't bully me you scouse bastard

>>35358429
fuck off you dirty wool

>Booked myself a ticket to a show in a bit of a rush on realising it closes this weekend. Turns out a 'side seat' is a bloody box and I'm currently sitting in it all by myself. Feel a bit like the Queen, but mostly like a massive twat.

Lonely 35 year old roastie update.

Quick guys. I'm in town and have 45 minutes before the shops close. I need some shoes which won't make me look autistic. Trainers specifically. You're my only hope

>>35358539
>Lonely 35 year old roastie
Did she ride the cock carousel until 29 and has failed to find a man now because her looks are waning but she's convinced she needs a prince charming?

>>35358162
Fucking nasty little suckers those. Full of arsehole, pig dick, gristle, tendon, pulverised bone and 'gel'.

>>35358615
just don't get the ones with lights in them

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>>35358618
That's exactly right. At least 200 men. Lives alone and parties with girls ten years younger than her. Bought a dog for some company.

>>35358648
Is this your former oneitis? Seen her posted before but didn't follow the convo

>>35358615
go to JD. they should have some decent black addidas or nike ones if you look.

>>35358669
>Is this your former oneitis?
Fuck no. Can honestly say she's one of the few females I know who I wouldnt touch with a stolen dick. I just like to share her as the ghost of roasties future.

>>35358648
I knew someone called Ruth who also looked a bit like that.

>>35358782
How did you originally know her?

why is this thread always on top

fucking britbongs

>>35358815
i used to orbit her until i walked in on her sucking off my best mate bazza

>>35358849
Fucking baz the bastard ffs

>>35358849
at least it wasnt that cunt jezza

>>35358815
Met her though clubbing in London

Almost banged her. Glad I didn't in the end.

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>>35355775
Oi ye wankaz how goes it? You lads went hither to the cheeky nandos lately? OI! Ireckon me sees some chavs out in the court frolickin' about ye? These cheeky wankaz I tell ya wut. Day ruined!


God save the Queen.

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Good evening. /britfeel/!

How are you all doing today?
What have you been up to?
What's your favourite TV programme?

Hope you've all had a great day and are all doing well!

Just a friendly reminder that you are all worth something. No matter what you tell yourself or what others tell you, you are valuable. You're entire being isn't comprised of flaws and I can guarantee that every single one of you is filled with attributes that make you worth something!

>>35355994
The fucking tie in this pic has me howling.

>>35356223
Treat yo self to some grapes and a packet of rolos!

>>35356073
>still hasn't moved that piece of paper
Get well soon, buddy.

>>35358714
she's not that bad lad. I'd give her a good dicking.

>>35358849
>baz the bastard strikes again

the britfeel madman

>>35358849
Bazza the fucking madman, he's struck again.

>>35358901
>this is actually a british person posing as an american posing as a british person

4d checkmate

>>35358897
Not him but I also used to go clubbing in London. You hang out east much?

Hey lads, I'm a lazy bastard but I want snacks. Do I bother with the 20 min walk to the shops? And if i do, what are some good lard-lad snacks to grab?

Ex with a new house update. Guess she was just looking to brag. Every thing I sent she just gave a 2 word reply with lots of !!!! Oh well.

>>35359087
>20 min walk to the shops
We talking one way or both?

>>35359087
pom bears, starburst, chocolate digestives and yazoo milkshakes

>>35359102
Unlucky lad. Ahh well, who gives a shit!

>>35359114
One way, it's an arseache

just ordered me self some stockings and a naughty bit of lingerie that should be turning up tomorrow, only came to 80 bongs but im having some doubts about how my cocks gonna fit in them knickers

>go to work out
>get bored during warm up
>gonna get stoned and watch dragonball instead
I'm not gonna make it am I?

>>35359158
I'm sure you'll look amazing in them Amir.

>>35359159
FINISH YOUR WORK OUT RIGHT NOW. DO IT FOR BRITFEEL.

Hate it when you go into a shop and you're the only person in there and all the staff are watching you. Just makes me walk out and not buy anything.

>>35358999
I lived in Shoreditch for 7 years.

The last times that I went clubbing regularly were 6 years ago though, and there weren't many clubs East at that point. Was a regular at Lightbox and Egg.

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>considering buying thigh high socks and a jap girl uniform unironically
HELP LADS

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>>35359230
I'm sure your girlfriend will adore it mate.

>>35359219
I was a dealer in Hackney about...4 years ago I think it was? I did hang out east way for a few years before that though. I did go to some clubs (Visions, Birthdays some others I've forgotten) but I was more a house party kinda guy.

>>35359144

Where do you live that you've got internet, but it's 20 minutes from the nearest shop?

Do you just walk like an oap or something?

>>35358924
doin good. been sent home early from work might not have to go in for the rest of the week. just off for my first subway. got lucky as well. nobody in yaay.
got italian bmt. got bacon on it as well :) and some cookies
now in mcds for some fries

>>35359230
You would look so cute desu

origami

>>35359265
good choice lad, im the fella who gave you that order

enjoy it pal

>>35359230
its not gay if you take pics for us qt

>>35359230
For what purpose? Just to wear at home or to tempt horny lads on /britfeel/?

>>35359251
>Visions, Birthdays

Too cool for me mate. I have been to Birthdays and The Nest a few times a few years ago, but I always felt like an old man even though I was only about 26 at the time.

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>>35359218
did you buy any shoes lad?

>>35359281
well thanks lad. it looks good. am looking forward to it. they wouldn't fry the onions, buggers

>>35359305
Nah panicked and got cheesy chips instead l. Feel like a bad mong desu.

>>35359297
>Too cool for me mate.
Yeah I always hated it. I somehow managed to become the token 'loser' among a gang of cool kids. They enjoyed me laughing at their stupid outfits and liked to buy drugs from me so fuck it. Wonder if our paths crossed?

>>35359218
Even worse when they're pushy salespeople when you just want to have a look, shopped online ever since.

>>35359327
could just order some off the website

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>>35359293
Mostly for home comfort and self enjoyment, I think a skirt would feel nice

>>35359144
Just drive there m8

>>35359363
Well fuck it, enjoy yourself. No one can judge you for what you wear in the comfort of your own home.

>>35359256
Shitty suburbs that are 1.4 miles away from nearest shops. Means I need to exercise every time I want to buy crap. Pretty shitty lad,

>>35359124
Still kept some pics so might have a fap for old times sake.

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Dont like the sound of this tbqhwyl

>Weeping Angel", developed by the CIA's Embedded Devices Branch (EDB), which infests smart TVs, transforming them into covert microphones, is surely its most emblematic realization.

>The attack against Samsung smart TVs was developed in cooperation with the United Kingdom's MI5/BTSS. After infestation, Weeping Angel places the target TV in a 'Fake-Off' mode, so that the owner falsely believes the TV is off when it is on. In 'Fake-Off' mode the TV operates as a bug, recording conversations in the room and sending them over the Internet to a covert CIA server.

>>35359340
We might have been the same place at the same time. I wish our paths did cross, I was always looking for a reliable source of quality coke and pills at that point. Mightily sick of dealers fucking me around back then.

I can't wait to move to America.

Lol @ you chavs rotting till death living in cuckland

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Ate too much and now I feel like shit lads.

Why do I have to be like this?

>>35359406
Yeah I was very popular because I was nice and since I didnt go out much I was almost always available. Sold mephadrone and ket though.

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>>35359401
>'Fake-Off' mode
i fuckin knew it

>>35359401
>Weeping Angel
Isnt that a porn site?

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>>35359434
VLC is compromised too

>>35359382
m8, I'd have to get togged up in gear (motorbike, no car) and it seems a fucking waste of petrol for a shitty short journey.

>>35359453
>no car)

Well that serves you right

>and it seems a fucking waste of petrol for a shitty short journey

Saves you walking, self confessed lard lad

>in an art gallery enjoying browsing the art and reading about it
>girl that works there comes up to me
>'hehe do you have a big enough wall for it?'
>reply with no i live with my mum on benefits she wouldn't appreciate it
>she looks confused and walks away

Dumb roastie.

>>35359446
its the name of spoopy things from dr.who, cia nerds love that shit

NEW JAHANS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX7N1g6TcD0

SHORT ONE TODAY

>>35359415
I lived in America for a while. Wasn't that good after the novelty wore off.

What type of visa are you on?

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>>35359469
That's right. I'm thinking of Burning Angel

>>35359510
Bottom left really doesn't belong there

>>35359510
Imagine being in a band called Whitechapel.

Named after the shittiest paki infested area of London, great.

>>35359510
No.3 on the bottom row.

Does anyone think that fucking awful haircut looks good?

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why is she so originally perfec ladst??

>>35359534
I kind of like Whitechapel (the band). From what I understand it's because of the Jack The Ripper connection. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

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>>35359537
these type of girls
>>35359551
she's 13 you fucker

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>>35359563
how boh dat

>>35359496
How does he keep going lads?

>>35356139
Manchester, lad. In Connecticut.

ive been told I have a "mid-Atlantic" accent which resembles British accents pretty well

>>35359464
Surely I should get my fat arse moving though?

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>just ate a cheeseburger with salad that also had egg and mushrooms in it
I'm a disgusting lad

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originally qtp2t3.14

who else here is /caesarian/? hows it feel knowing you turned your mummy into a literal roastie?

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>>35359624
i bought a large kebab last night with a side meal of burgers and chips ;__; the man delivering was so disgusted with me, he was just like heres... the meal... s.....

In tesco. Anyone want anything?

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>>35359642
I popped into the chicken place on the way home and got two singles meals so they wouldnt think it was all for me. Ordered 2 different drinks and everything.

>>35359660
some Grey Poupon mustard lad

>>35359660

Some birdseye waffles m8

>>35359496
>3:39 to 4:30

I might dislike his views, but he is a robot.

>>35359660
battered fish, if its on offer and a good brand, like youngs or summin. otherwise dont bother dont want tescos own i dont like em.

>>35359660
Get me... uh...
couple of, mmm

see if the...

what's on offer?

>>35359281
me again. that was a fucking nice subway. thanks again mate. mmmfff very fucking nice

anyone here read comics? i started buying some from my local store with neetbux

>>35359265
Aww why were you sent home? Is your hand okay?
Nice choice of subway buddy and glad you enjoyed it!
had that new bud btw. it's bloody strong

>>35359766
anytime mate glad you enjoyed it

>>35359791
>anyone here read comics?
What are you, a nerd?

>>35359791
Used to. Also watch Comics Explained on YouTube because it's maximum comfy.

>>35359791
used to read graphic novels sometimes. think i prefer manga. comics are meh most of the time for me. i think the odd graphic novel is great though like watchmen

actual books are the best in my opinion

>>35359588
Who knows, but the end won't be pretty.

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>>35355775

Who /Goodfellas/ here?

Oh, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites guy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl whitin a one mile radius with your beautiful black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

>>35359840
nha so far I haven't read much capeshit other than ironfist which I read a couple of years ago, i've mostly only bought the 'hipster' stuff

>>35359868
k I'll check it out

>>35359881
I used to read a lot of manga in secondary school on my shitty laptop