JAIL

>>35323314
Why did you assault your mom?

>>35323334
I was sperging out and throwing shit in my room. The door was locked but she came in anyways and started yelling at me. I yelled back and she slapped me so I tackled her. She called the cops and told them I hurt her neck and next thing I know I'm in handcuffs.

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>>35323472
looks like it's time to pack your bags and get the fuck out of there, big guy

>>35323518
Why? I'd rather go to jail and come home to free rent and food than be a wagecuck and live alone.

oh my god you fucking faggot. i seriously hope you made this up

>>35323634
I wish I made it up too. I'd do it again but jail isn't fun. It's been a rough few days, I was in isolation a lot in a room with a camera where the lights never turn off.

>>35323472
>the door was locked but she came in anyways
how did she come in if the door was locked?

>>35323314
>>35323472
You did it all wrong anon.

You're supposed to let your mom slap and hit you until you have visible injuries, take it like a man because you are, and then call the cops on her.

If they take her, they cant lock you out because you have rights as a tenant.

>>35323472

autism speaks

very original

>>35323730
My parents have a key, too, but I keep the door locked so if I hear the knob jingling I know they're coming rather than have them just bust in.
>>35323738
She did leave bruises on me. I had the officers at the jail photograph them so that in court they can see the fight was mutual. Next time I will forego the fighting and just call the police on her. This isn't the first time she's hit me so I doubt it will be the last.

>>35323314
I got bailed out after being in jail less than day. Later, the DA rejected the charges, and I was able to get the arrest erased from my record too.

Were you arraigned in jail? Usually the arraignment is a day or two after your arrest, and a judge decides whether you can be released on your own recognizance.

Are you charged with a misdemeanor or a felony?

What was it like anon? Did you have to share a cell? How did you pass time? Jail gets really boring real fast.

Yeah grand larceny. Thank God my parents paid a good lawyer

>>35323836

Provoke her anon.

took the mommy threads a little too seriously huh anon.

>>35323914
What were you arrested for?

I saw a judge the morning after the arrest, he read my charges and set my bail, but I didn't enter a plea. I told him I wanted a court appointed lawyer but later that day my dad hired a lawyer for me. This charge is a felony, but it will likely be dropped in court, since my dad convinced my mom not to press charges (but since it's family violence the state will pick it up and press charges, but it's easier to get out of that).

Jail was awful. Since I have mental issues I was put in a "medical cell" with a camera. The light never turns off so the camera can always see. I was also in isolation a lot, which was tedious since I couldn't have anything in my cell. I couldn't even wear my glasses. I acted really good in jail but they don't like letting people in the medical cells out during the day since they're usually really violent, so regardless of how nice I was they were reluctant to let me out. We didn't get pillows, clean clothes, soap, toothbrushes, or water (we had to drink out of the sink with our hands). When I was in holding I saw a Mexican girl attack an officer and get pepper sprayed. She was coughing and still punching the shit out of the officer. That was really fun to watch.

>>35323596
Well you were give options and you made your choice. Don't complain then.

>>35324084
I've been like this all my life. Abusive parents tend to make people a little crazy.

>>35323472
>I was sperging out and throwing shit in my room
Why?

>>35324323
I was just mad, I don't even remember why. I get really upset a lot and do stupid shit but I usually don't throw things, I haven't since I was in kindergarten and threw a chair at my teacher. I think the noise from all the throwing was what made her suspicious, usually it's just screaming and maybe sobbing if I'm really upset, which she ignores.

OP, are you literally autistic? I don't mean it as an insult, I'm just curious

>>35324504
if you cant tell, fuck off. tired of this shit

>>35324099
I was arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon. I was arrested for a crime I didn't commit.

While I was in jail here was some drunk or high dude that kept slamming doors and making a racket. Seriously annoying. I couldnt see anything because the cells were along a narrow hallway.

They gave me a sack with a crappy blanket and some bag thing you could sort of use as a pillow. Seriously uncomfortable.

I talked to an old homeless dude they put in my cell. He fell asleep while we were talking.

I wanted fall asleep but I was so pumped up on adrenaline.

2/10 Don't want to go through that again.

My lawyer was not so good. He basically felt there was nothing to do after he got the news the DA rejected the charge. It was kind of funny because I dont think he did anything besides go to my arraignment. The paralegal/investigator supposedly wrote some sort of letter to the police investigating my case.

I basically did all the research and paper work to get my arrest erased.

>>35324504
No, but I have other problems that make me act similar. The doctors thought I was autistic at first but did the test and I'm not. And I've had anger issues since I was 3 or 4.

So no ass rape?

>>35323472
So why did you put "assaulting" in quotes in your original post? You fucking assaulted your own mother, congratulations on not being able to own up to it.

>>35324530
Yeah there were a few people in my cell block who were up all night screaming and banging on doors.

All we got was a mat, a sleeve for the mat, and a wool blanket. I just used the blanket as a pillow and covered my eyes with it, it's hard to sleep with fluorescent lights on 24/7.

Luckily I didn't have a roommate because of my status as "mentally unstable" but a lot of the people on the block did have roommates and one person had to sleep on the floor. Also the walls were moldy but they just painted over the mold so it made it more nasty.

When I was out of my cell though I talked to a pimp. He didn't believe I was there for assault, said I looked to squirrely and weak kek.

I didn't sleep at all the first night, I remember at one point I was just pacing and counting steps.

My experience was a 2/10 as well but I survived it and I can survive it again.

My lawyer is pretty good, my parents hired him for me a while back because of a marijuana charge and he got it expunged for me.

>>35324603
He said jail not prison you moron

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>>35324552
>No
I got news for you buddy...

>>35324647
I say "assaulting" in quotation marks because she's abusive. She has about 60lbs on me and is always angry. I was just defending myself this time around. Usually she just slaps or shoves though, this is the first time she's left bruises and that's only because we got in an actual fight. When I said I "tackled" her that was a little dramatic. Really it was she slapped me, I slapped her back. She shoved me, I shoved her back. When I shoved her she fell and dragged me with her, the fight was more intense on the ground, I didn't punch her or anything, but I did kick her in the stomach once when she came at me. I also grabbed a book and hit her with it after she pinned me to the ground with a knee on my chest. When I was out from under her I yelled some more and stormed out of the house. Then she called the police, they picked me up about a block from my house where I had sat down to calm down.

>>35323730
>door stuck
Let me demonstrate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqB1uoDTdKM

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I've been arrested twice, once in April 2009 and once in December of 2010, both for possession of reefer.

Both times I was bailed out in a little over 24 hours.

Just holding, nothing serious.

For me, it wasn't terrible, just boring and annoying that I couldn't smoke cigarettes. The worst for me was not being able to keep track of time and having the lights on all the time, which made sleeping impossible. Made decent conversation the second time around, the first time it was just me and my two friends in a cell.

Haven't really smoked reefer since my last arrest (well twice, once in 2014 and once this past year). I don't do it anymore because I no longer find it enjoyable and I don't like the legal implications. If it were fully legalized federally, then I might try it again, but I'm done for now.

Fun facts:

>both of my arrests occurred in a Montgomery county of two different states
>the first arrest was partly thanks to the PD's brand, spanking new K-9 unit they had acquired literally the week before my arrest.
>in my first arrest, one of the friends I was with got his mom to post bail for me too, but she sent it via Western Union to a mutual friend. There was nowhere to cash the money order, so said friend went around to various dealers and got them to put up cash in exchange for the money order so we could get bailed out that night.

Both times I was arrested were for complete bullshit reasons. The first time I was pulled over for having tinted windows on my 93 Geo Metro, and the reefer that was found was not even mine, but I don't believe in giving up friends to help the police (all three of us went to jail with the same charges). The second time was just bad luck, and while I did have some reefer in the car, the vast majority of it was my friend's, and I just claimed it as mine, since it was my car and I was already getting pinned for it and it's not like the extra 2-3g could legally hurt me anymore.

So glad I don't do that shit anymore.

>>35324789

Your relationship with your mother is a little worse than mine, although I threaten to kill anyone who calls the police on me

>mother calling cops on son
Are you white?

>>35324976
>I emotionally abuse and blackmail my parents and everyone around me

Someone needs to beat your ass. Unfortunately all that will happen is someone fucking your ass when you're inevitably jailed for threatening to kill someone. And when the prisoners find out it's for abusing your mother you're fucked.

>>35324789
It's pretty fucked up how often this happens. A mom starts a fight and the son goes to jail for participating. Must be that male privilege we hear so much about

>>35325090
>Someone needs to beat your ass.

That's the problem no one can, I'm too quick, too aggressive and too good at fighting

>Unfortunately all that will happen is someone fucking your ass when you're inevitably jailed for threatening to kill someone. And when the prisoners find out it's for abusing your mother you're fucked.

I'll be doing the raping, I'll be the anal fucking champion of the world. I'll destroy assholes on a daily basis. Dominating and raping a man is one of my fetishes

>>35324976
I don't threaten to kill anyone else, just myself. My mom never cares but my dad takes it seriously.
>>35325055
Yes I am kek

>>35325139
lmfao originali

I beat up older brother and dad called cops AND testified against me lol. He did pay for new place for a little bit.

>>35325139
Please dominant me senpai

>ex (then gf) kicks me out
>live on the street for a few days, stay with a friend after
>work at the same place as her, never have overlapping shifts but still
>one day get invited to company party
>she's there
>start arguing with her
>remember chugging first 2 drinks then waking up in the back of a police car
>they tell me they found me in a puddle of puke in a bar's bathroom

Closest I've come to being arrested.
I know I'm a bitchboi for not doing any actual time but goddamn was this embarassing.

I got out a couple months ago from my first arrest. I did 4 months of a 12 month sentence for evading arrest in my car. The cops really don't like it if you don't pull over. I didn't even break any traffic regulations. It really sucked every day I wished i was free, the people in there are not the greatest obviously, and working is very difficult(at least where i worked in the kitchen) and now i will have a hard time finding employment for unskilled labor. Im 24 still young enough to finish my degree and get a more competitive position hopefully that will look over my record. At least i got really good at chess and cards.

>>35325151

Why doesn't your dad put her in her fucking place

Must be a reason for all this bullshit

>>35325250

Sure, spread those cheeks faggot

>>35323596
Your mom should kick you out for your spaz attack. Unless she's one of those overbearing types, which it sounds like.

>>35325341
She's a trophy wife, I assume she sucks dick really fucking good. Also my dad is getting close to 60 and I think he's afraid of dying alone.

>>35325313
What kind of food did they serve? I was in the city jail so we just ate prepackaged sandwiches for every meal which were damp but tolerable. I heard real jail food is awful.

I've spent my share of time in the local drunk tank. Also been arrested for a sex crime I didn't commit and the only person willing to bail me out was away and unreachable at the time, so I spent about two weeks in there.

>>35325407

Is it your bio-mom?

>>35325467
She married my dad when I was 4. My bio mom is an alcoholic who lives on the other side of the country. Haven't spoken to her in years.

>>35325441
I never went to prison so i was in county jail. I've heard prison gets better but you have to do at least a year. Theres a two week rotation. There is a ton of soy things, soy meatloaf, soy teryaki, soy burgers, soy sausage, soy alfredo, you get so sick of it. The only decent meal i can think of is the hot dog and baked beans. of course you can order food and make the jail more money, so end up supplementing with lots of ramen and pop tarts. If you are over id say 160 lbs or if you want to work out at all the food really isn't enough calories to sustain you. Everyone is hungry often but at least enough to live.

i was in a drug house when it was raided, got charged with possession of a utensil used in the preparation of drugs.

things could have gone a lot worse.

>>35323314
You don't live in Detroit area by chance do you? My brother did this exact same thing recently...

>>35325611
No, I'm from the South.

>>35325611
Why don't you beat the shit out of your brother?

i am a ball of anger. i start fights every time i leave the house. sooner or later i am going to be locked up for this shit

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I KNOW HOW IT FEELS to hurt family, OP
A few months back my mother jokingly said 'you suck anon' after I failed a job interview. I got really mad, and remembered that 'you suck' is what WWE fans used to chant at the wrestler Kurt Angle. My mother is like 5'2 and I am 6'2 so I managed to angle slam her (pic related) onto the wood floor. She didnt get hurt badly but did limp around for a few days and only last month did I apologise. She was very avoidant of me until then, even refusing to cook my meals because I hurt her
Feels bad. I didnt want to hurt her.

>>35325876
That sounds really awful but I still laughed. My mom wouldn't even look at me when I got home today. We sat down and talked as a family, she yelled at me more and then stormed off. My dad said she was in their room crying. She's a terrible person but I still felt bad that she was crying because I think she genuinely believes my attack was unprovoked. I didn't want to hurt her either.

>>35325525
Maybe you have fetal alcohol syndrome

>>35326045
Maybe, but I don't have any of the facial features of people with FAS (I've thought about it before). She also smoked a pack a day while pregnant. And she's got some paranoia disorder too I think, her sister (my bio aunt) is schizo for sure.

>>35325876
my poor sides

include me in the screencap

>>35324647

>Mom slaps OP
>OP reacts in self defense

Equal rights bitch