Self pity thread

>>35322142
Is there any way you can shorten up your whining? I'm far too lazy to be expected to read all of it.

>>35322329
Nope. I want to whine until it stops hurting. Sorry

>>35322329
Different Anon
I'll tl;dr it

>Had a gf
>Fucked it up because of his own shit self-esteem
>Got involved in facebook drama
>Made it worse

Also, OP, really it's not like it's a big deal. Just find somebody else.

>>35322363
It'll only hurt more if you keep whining about. It sounds like you let the little things get to you way too easy. You just have to take life as it goes and figure out what makes you happy.

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>when the violin kicks in on the live version of long season

>>35322395
Close. There was no Facebook drama. I stalked her Facebook. She's happy with out me and I'm miserable. Which makes my recent rejection worse. I'm still a faggot

>>35322457
This nigga. Fishmans is top notch.
>>35322410
I've tried. I'm still ugly and I hate myself. Sorry though

Pretty gay faggot

>>35322457
Long season is their best album though

>>35322395
But I wanted to be with her. I'm still a drunk loser

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>>35322395
>Also, OP, really it's not like it's a big deal. Just find somebody else.
>Just find somebody else.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>35323410
Thanks for seeing where I'm coming from. No one will ever love me the same. It hurts.

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>>35323427
I'm not going to say anything else to send you further into depression.

I'm sorry and good luck, anon.

>>35323467
If you have something to say. Say it. I appreciate it. Or say your story.

>>35323481
I can't talk to anyone let alone girls without my face getting bright red. I don't want to say I have social anxiety, I'm just super self conscious. Also, my physical body is very unattractive. Plus I'm a /pol/ autist so I'm red pilled which doesn't help at all.

I realized the ugly truth that I will probably never find anyone who will love me.

There is a whole lot more but I'd be here for a while.

>>35323564
Keep going. I'm half minority and half white but I also go on pol. So I'd like to here your perspective

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>>35322142
>be me in high school
>have acquaintances
>too autist to talk to females
>come home and play warcraft all day
>days where i don't talk at all
>graduate high school
>get job
>get car
>dont use car at all
>loose job
>become neet
>fall into depression
>accept the feeling
>begin to like the feeling of being depressed
>learn that none of this even matters in the first place
>take comfort in my inevitable death
mfw

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>>35323585
I'm struggling to find words.

I'm 18, a manlet, and mentally damaged. That's really the TL:DR. I hate everyone and all normies hate me. I can't stand normies, I don't understand how they go through life just "blind" pretty much.

I was working at a grocery store for 2 years and they decided to fuck with me and move my departments and because I'm a weak manlet neet I couldn't do the work where they moved me, and because I'm mentally damaged I was to pussy to ask to go back to my original department.

I just don't like living, I have pretty much made it up in my mind that when my parents die, I'm just going to kill myself.

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GO ER AND MAKE THEM SUFFER

>>35322870
uhh no, I'm sorry but

35 minute studio album < live album of their last performance as a full band due to their drummer leaving but unknowingly becomes final performance of leader singer Sato as he dies of heart failure three months later which includes this 35 minute song with alternative lyrics, instrumentals, and live use of violins, chines, drums, among other instruments.

ur taste is shit

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>>35322457
>whenever "Thank You" plays on 98.12.28

>>35323706
Try to find something that lets you create something. Like learning an instrument
>>35323766
Are you in colleges? Do you have a high school degrees?>>35324137
I meant studio album. Obviously the original pic is there best album
>>35324150
It hurts so good

>>35324368
Nah I did terrible in high school and I have no desire to go to college. I feel like anything I can do, someone can do better.

>>35324368
no reason to learn an instrument, if you are not going to use it in a piratical sense. i've tried, it's just extra effort in something that has no purpose

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>>35324444
at least something good came from this thread. Nice quads.

>>35324394
That's a terrible mindset. Like I said, learn an instrument. It'll be a great outlet
>>35324444
It'll give you a way to channel your feelings to an actual creation

>>35323766
good on you for waiting for your parents

>>35322142
Anon desu basically same situation except mine left me a year ago for some other dude can't get over her so theres only one option left and that is suicide only way out of the shit filled place I'm gonna end it I suggest you do too

>>35324742
I want to an hero. But I know it's not worth it. I'm gonna write music until it makes up for my self hate. I hope you do similar

>>35322142
What is the point of self-pity?

>>35322142
why is ever greentext on this board exactly the same

>>35324913
Sometimes it's nice to vent and wallow. It feeds our ego when at our most vulnerable. But then you have to go back to normal society. This board is the prime example of self pity. I come here to post feels shit but I use mu or others when I'm trying to get something new

>>35322142
Why did she dump you? Did you fuck up or is she just a needy whore?

>>35324931
Cause we all hurt in some way. That feel when no gf is relatable

>>35324957
She changed over time to match her new college. I saw college as a stepping stone for getting a job and starting a family. I probably fucked up a lot somewhere thought

>>35324984
That's a bit vague. Can you expound on how she changed to match her college?

>>35325005
Sorry. I'm a little drunk. She hung out with her friends more who were sjw autistic. I'm conservative but I don't let politics affect my life or argue with people irl about it and she probably never knew I wasn't liberal. She became more hippie ish over time. Started doing entry level meditation and yoga. (I'm about to enter the part of my psyche I've never been able to be intellectually honest with myself before). She gained a self confidence she never had before. Sje realized how much more attractive she was than me. She realized that she could do much better than me. That's why she said I'd make a great boyfriend for someone else. I treated her nice and loved her, but she wanted someone less ugly/with less autism. It hurts.

>>35325141
Sucks bro but you just gotta move on and find someone less shallow or something

>>35325141
I'm a bit drunk myself...

But shit, man. That's rough. Do you hold it against her?

I feel like my psyche functions somewhat similarly to yours, in the sense that I'm incredibly self-deprecating. I've even been in a similar situation with a girl I was friends with all through high school. When I finally told her how I felt senior year I got rejected. But to echo your remarks, I completely understood why: she became incredibly cute and she knew she could do better than me, especially since she would be going off to college in a big city in a few months. It hurt, but I can't say I don't see why she would do it.

In addition, I'm also a manlet (5'5"). And generally speaking, while I hate it, I understand why women generally aren't attracted to us. It's biological more than anything else.

So anyway, how do you feel towards her at this point? Any anger/resentment, or do you just miss her?

>>35325264
I hope I can. But I loved her so much. I always knew she was better than me. I think she might have too. I might have been her practice bf subconsciously. I've been rejected by dozens of girls since, both sloots while drunk and girls I got to know first and thought shared chemistry with. Still an ugly sperg. Thanks for responding and feeding my ego or something.

>>35325319
I just miss her so much. I wanted to spend my life with her. It's not just the manlet thing (I was taller than her, and that's all you need to be. protip) I am ugly with a weird voice and I'm a sperg. I'm so sorry that happened to you man that's some rough shit want to talk about it more

when you think about it the number one source of strife in human existence is the inequality of looks among the male species

>>35325424
I hope to channel that into music

>>35325383
I'm this guy >>35325319
For what it's worth, I eventually got over the girl I mentioned.
I don't know if my feelings for her were quite as intense as the ones you're describing, in fact probably not because we were never in anything resembling a relationship. But I will say that I really thought I loved this girl. To the point that 3-4 other girls showed clear interest in me throughout high school that I basically brushed off because of my oneitis.

Even after we went our separate ways for college I loved her, and scrolled through her facebook photos all the time. We kept in touch throughout the next few years, and it killed me to only have her as a friend.

Now it's five years after graduating from high school, and I just talked to her for a couple hours on the phone a few nights ago. But now I genuinely enjoy talking to her and having her a just a friend. It happened very gradually, and I barely even noticed the change, but over time I've come to accept that I'm just never gonna have her in any kind of romantic way, and there's no use in fantasizing over it anymore. Instead I just think of her as a good friend, who are always great to have.

Obviously I can only speak from my own experience, but my advice would be to just give it time. For a long, long time I thought this girl was the only one for me, but as you grow as a person your emotions can change dramatically.

>>35325587
I'm happy you got over her with time. Are you talking/eyeing any girls at the moment?

>>35325620
Yeah, I have a couple options. I don't know how to say this without sounding conceited, but a lot of girls find me "cute" or whatever.
My problem is that I have ridiculously high standards, so there have only been like 3-4 girls in my life that I've been genuinely interested in pursuing, and either I've been too afraid to make a move or they just haven't felt the same way.
Consequently, I'm 23 and still a virgin (if that makes you feel any better about your situation, lol). It's embarrassing to say, but it only bothers me in a social sense honestly. If my only goal was to stick my dick in a random vag I would've done it way before now. I need to really like the girl physically and personality wise...and like I said, I'm extremely picky.

Hell, I'm rambling...how about you?

>>35322142
Hey, it could be worse. At least you had a gf at some point

>>35325818
>I don't know how to say this without sounding conceited, but a lot of girls find me "cute" or whatever.
Honest to God that actually makes me feel happy that at least someone itt has a chance. Good for you dude. I hope it works out for you with the girl you wanted it to. As i said in my original post I got rejected again recently. She gave me the "I'm not interested in dating anyone now" speech which I've heard 3 times since dumped to years ago. I knew all three were lying since they all started dating someone soon after rejecting me, but I appreciate them being as nice about it as possible. It's starting to really take a toll on me psychologically though and my already terrible trust issues are getting worse and my self esteem about my body is pretty negative. But I'll survive

>>35325870
It hurts worse than when I was single for 16 years t b h

>tfw I keep seeing all of my friends achieving their dreams and succeeding in life
I can't stand it. How does a failure like me manage to surround himself with such successful people. I just want to achieve something like that.

>>35326020
What are you trying to achieve? Why can't you do you think?

>>35324931
Because many people experience similar painful ends to relationships and find themselves hurt and alone with no hope.

>Just stop being a whiny bitch lol

Yeah and just go make a billion dollars? Just because something is possible, doesn't mean it isn't fucking hard. Sometimes the hardest enemy to overcome is yourself.

>>35325944
Thanks for the kind words, man.
All I can say is good luck and keep trying, and to remember that there's more to life than chasing girls. If you still don't have any luck romantically for awhile, put it aside and just focus on bettering yourself as a person. Things will flow naturally from there.

>>35326065
Thanks dude. Hope everything goes well with you.

>>35326020
Yup, in the same boat, man. Graduated with the 6th highest GPA in my high school class, and now five years later I've barely done shit, while I'll my smart friends are getting degrees and starting careers. It almost hurts just to hang out with them.

>>35324984
Yeah i know this feeling, I had a similar story

>With a girl for 4 years

During that time build her self confidence until she is able to talk to strangers on the phone, teach her how to give blowjobs, help her through the depression that accompanied her chronic illness diagnosis and convince her to go over seas on an awesome holiday with me.

Once she didn't need me she dumped my ass like week old garbage, sure I want the best BF but there was no problem between us that couldn't have been worked out without a little bit of effort.

>>35326100
Did you go to college? If not can you? Or maybe trade school?

>>35326108
I honestly hope we weren't practice bf. But I think I might have been subconsciously. How have you been since?

>>35326140
I think I was 100% a practice BF, jokes on me she broke up with me about 2 months before I planned to propose to her

Yeah no i've been mostly down, with some ups since then have a lot of good friends which eases the blow but don't think I will ever be able to do a relationship ever again.

>>35326123
Yeah, I started at a well-respected private college the fall after I graduated high school, which is one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made looking back.

If there are any high schoolers in this thread: DON'T DIVE RIGHT INTO COLLEGE UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE (PROTIP: YOU PROBABLY DON'T)

Anyway, I dove right into college because that's what society tells you to do, and I majored in engineering because that's what society told me to do because I was smart and I did fairly well in math class.

Two years and several thousand dollars in debt later, I finally realized I fucking hate engineering. Now, 5 years after first entering college, I'm about a semester and change away from a useless English Literature degree (I love lit, but I know the degree is useless), and I still have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do after I graduate or how I'm gonna pay off my loan debt.

College is a gigantic fucking meme. That's the most eloquently I can put it.

>26
>parents fund my life
>college dropout
>literally been doing nothing last 8 months
>want to kill myself every day
>go back and forth between self improvement and self destruction

I don't deserve to live if I'm being honest

>>35326259
How old are you? Are you relatively attractive? I wouldn't count out relationships entirely. Especially if you've been with other girls besides her.

>>35326271
I agree it's a meme (in it for biology). This is gay and ask this to everyone, but do you play an instrument? I find it helps.
>>35326282
What are you looking to improve? Do you have a job?

>>35326297
>23 so still young
>ok looks but fat piece of shit been trying to change that for the last year haven't really made progress
>never been with any girl besides her was a hand holdless, kissless virgin until her.
>basically only know 1 other woman who is in her 30s and only fucks artistic fuckbois

>>35326282
You'll make it bro, them post collage blues and listlessness are common lots of my bros had them but they survived

>>35326346
Lose weight and/or become an artistic fuck boi. You're getting a degree in English lit so you are almost the second one. Cut out soda entirely and go for more walks to shed weight. That's what I did in high school

>>35326100
I don't know. Just seeing my friends from high school and members of my family go to these prestigious schools. When I was young I wanted something like that. That type of education isn't really accessible once you've passed a certain point in your life.

>>35326333

I work for my dad, and have basically my whole life before/after college

what am I looking to improve? everything. I want friends again, I want a gf again, I want to be in shape again, and graduate and provide for myself and stop feeling like a leech and respect myself and not feel like a piece of shit all the time. its overwhelming.

the worst part is my parents are understanding and supportive. I don't deserve them at all.

>>35326364

thanks dude but honestly I don't really even know anymore. I've had so much time to 'figure it out' and I'm still in the same spot.

>>35326384
That is good advice, just need the motivation to follow through with it.

Thanks bro

>>35326419
Can take years sometimes, just try make progress everyday

>>35326441

well I appreciate the kind words

I'll keep trying

>>35326419
Appreciate your parents. They're probably lovely people who see the best in you that you don't. Set career, fit, and social goals and make plans for how to achieve each goal. Help around the house more and earn your keep. Maybe pay rent if you can.

>>35326423
The motivation is that you don't want to be at the same place at 26. You don't have to be. Read about and make a plan. Get started as soon as possible. Maybe even this week.

>>35326484
but anon- I have so much shitposting to do

>>35326540
Higher quality shit posting can be a goal. Especially on better boards.

>>35326333
Nice ass trips, first of all

I play guitar and drums casually, and I used to play my old ass acoustic Martin guitar all the time to relieve stress actually. Unfortunately one of its ancient strings finally snapped a few months ago, and I've been too lazy/broke/depressed to get it fixed...fuck, now I really wish I could play it.

>>35326402
"Prestigious" colleges are a meme unto themselves unless you're getting a degree that's already valuable and career-friendly. My school is basically a second-rate Ivy that costs an insane amount, especially insane if you're going for a stupid English degree like I am. It really won't make any difference that I went to a prestigious school instead of a community college.

Honestly, community college is probably the most economically efficient higher education option.

>>35326553
Dude a 3 pack of strings is like 10 bucks on amazon. Start writing and recording. You have some story to tell. Just learn how to say it

>>35326346
do you feel lonely, is having a relationship very important to you?

>>35326584
I've always thought about writing my own music (I'm a huge music lover and /mu/ will always be my home board), but I just can't take my creative endeavors seriously.

That's why I write jokes and always think about being a comedian. I can express myself creatively while also being able to laugh at myself.

>>35326675
Most Bob Dylan/Beck songs are written with that Jewish tongue cheek sentiment, but that hasn't stopped them from making simple amazing music. mu is my board too

>>35326553
>"Prestigious" colleges are a meme unto themselves unless you're getting a degree that's already valuable and career-friendly.
It has more to do with a desire to make up for my past failings in educational environments. It's not even about wanting a good education or a career. I really just want to prove myself.

>>35322142
what did you go to school for?
gwegoiwergewgwerg

>>35326782
Biology with a Forensics concentration

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>22 y/o guy living with parents
>develop [still undiagnosed] depression around maybe age 14
>gradually lose interest in things i used to think were fun
>used to play sports and wasn't bad, used to write a lot and wasn't bad
>i even used to like school but eventually started hating everything about it
>at 16 i find a retail job at peavey mart
>get fired for not showing up
>at 17 i get a job at walmart, get fired for stealing
>at 18 get a job at Staples, quit because i felt suicidal
>couldn't graduate with my class since i failed a few classes
>get my diploma the next year, passing my classes by a tiny margin.
>after graduation find a job as a pizza delivery driver
>it's the most fun job i've had yet (which isn't saying much, but i digress)
>slowly feel my job become less of a fun thing and more of a chore
>this is the same feeling i had with previous jobs
>reduce my hours to two or three days a week, but i'm still stressed
>everyday is the same routine
>wake up, play games, go to work if i need to, come back, play games until i get tired, go to bed, repeat ad infinitum
>even with a decent handful of friends irl and online i still feel worthless, unloved and pointless
>every night the same thoughts pop into my head before i fall asleep
>"people would miss you if i you died but then time would pass and they'd all die and then no one would miss you"
>"maybe your purpose in life was to fail. maybe you were supposed to be a statistic"
>"you were born to be the one kid so confused about himself relative to the world around him that he thinks he's a girl"
>"you were born to be just another transgender suicide story, something for libtards to agitate cuckservatives with"
>"his classmates will hear about his death, frown for a bit, maybe write a message on his wall, and move on"

it's starting to sound reasonable, though. maybe it's true that my purpose in life is just to die by my own hand.

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>>35322142
>>ask her date
>>she says yes

How about you get the fuck off this board then? There's literally no reason for you to be here.

>>35326816
Learn to create. You said you used to write so write, so write. I started over a hundred songs and finished a dozen and finally made one song I'm proud of. You can do it too. Also I find drinking water, cutting out soda, doing cardio vascular exercises, and taking melatonin and vitamin D3 religiously helped with my depression at the end of high school

>>35326828
Trust me. This'll be my last day here till I get rejected, drunk, and contemplate pulling an Ian Curtis again in 6 months

>>35326885
i make music. the problem is that i know i should focus on my music when i feel bored, but instead i choose to look at my twitter or facebook feeds because it's just so much easier and it's guaranteed not to make me feel as bad as I do if i start feeling like my work isn't good enough. it's crippling.

you might be on to something with the soda, though. literally the only thing i drink during the day is Pepsi. i've been taking Vit D and B12. it helped a bit, but i still feel like utter shit.

>>35326999
Soda is liquid cancer. Worst thing in the world that most people drink. Makes you feel like shit and I personally got withdrawal at first. I write best when tired so try waking up a little earlier or writing at night instead of reading Facebook

>>35327039
thinking back to when i moved out for a suuuuuper short period of time, i also remember cutting out soda and drinking more water and almond milk. i felt pretty fuckin good, if maybe stressed that my parents were paying for my rent because i couldn't find a solid job but i didn't feel like a completely worthless pile of shit. i was getting stuff done.

of course, it doesn't help jack shit that my parents literally can't stop buying soda and my self-control is minimal to non-existent.

>>35327070
Self control is learned. You can do it if you want to. I find drinking glasses of water better than bottled. Also the cardiovascular shit works miracles honestly.

>>35327098
baby steps. i'll try and start with the water, and if i can manage that i'll try getting exercise. desu i'll try anything if it means i can start writing music more often and feel less like a puddle of grease.

>>35327146
Good. Actually make sure you do it though. Don't just talk about doing it.

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>>35327161
you're a good person.

45sda456fsda

>>35327458
Thanks. You probably are too dude.