I just don't wanna be a person anymore.

>>35322121
what is it anon? lets talk about it

>>35322121
iktf

i'd rather be a mind flayer

>>35322121
me neither. i just wish i could snap my fingers and stop existing. suicide is too scary but living is too hard.

You can realize you no longer want to exist but as long as you fail to realize that nothing should exist and even when you're gone, people will still needlessly suffer and be disgusting fucking human beings and reflect on this, you will not realize the righteousness of what you feel.

I wish i was a fish t b h, just swimming around all day, shit a bird would be cool too.

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>>35322121
I know your feels too well anon, knowing ones own predicament is a burdensome thing but it's the price we pay to perceive beyond a singlular moment.

Your brain is beautiful because you feel sadness anon, and it can feel happiness again too. Remember that please. >>35322146

>>35322146
I don't even know anymore. I just feel like I'm less than human every time I leave the house.

>>35322206
Yeah. I have no doubt as to how this is gonna end though.

>>35322248
You're not wrong, but I'm tired.

>>35322217
All life is disgusting and is nothing but suffering, all while just being and not having any purpose. You should be wishing for non-existence and you should cast off your selfishness and wish for non-existence for all other things.

That fucking face win you spend all day browsing the internet answering a bunch of psychiatrist questions, planted posts, trivia tests, and more. I ain't got anything better to do I guess.

Want to know the number one thing bothering me and truly fucking my mind up right now? Not knowing when this is truly going to end and when my life will begin. I have received the suggested dates of next friday but still don't know for sure.This waiting to see what's next is debilitating. Ya'll spent my entire life of building up my hopes just to have them come crashing down on by design so don't act all surprised.

Speed things up will ya? Let me disappear into the night to start my life.

>>35322292
fucking homophones.

>>35322266
im always up to talk if you want anon

>>35322266
You are human. Nothing more. Nothing less. You should strive to cast off your humanity as it causes you to suffer and causes you to create suffering in others.

>>35322319
I dunno, man. I guess a part of it's being a tranny. A part of it's the fact that I've always felt inferior to everyone around me. A part of it's that I'm afraid of responsiblity and afraid of fucking up. I'm lazy, have no goals, and plan to kill myself some day, but I make myself go to uni and get good grades because my parents are alive and care a lot about me. I have an eating disorder and know I'm probably some gross skeletal mess to everyone else, but I still can't tell how I look to normal people because of muh body issues or whatever. My friends get on my nerves more and more every day, and I just wanna be alone most of the time. I treat people like shit for no reason.

>>35322319
>>35322564
Oh and being seen by other people scares me. Like I get all paranoid about it, imagining how they must see me and wanna laugh or get grossed out, and I feel like I'm grotesque and ugly or hideous when I probably just look like a skelly dude with sorta long hair because fuck trying to be a girl when you're six feet tall and have facial hair.

>>35322600
have you tried meeting people online even if its just to talk? i was pretty much like you until i met someon i could openly talk to and supported me and i have been getting better day by day

>>35322718
How easy it is to forget one's suffering through bouts of psychological suppression. Know that you are the same now as you have always been. Human. Alive. Creating pain for yourself and for others.

>>35322764
kek you'll never forget your suffering but that doesnt mean you will always have to suffer who knows things might turn for the better soon?

>>35322718
Thought about it before but no. I have a hard time imagining one or both of us wouldn't get annoyed with or tired of the other. Or maybe we just straight up wouldn't mix well. Besides, I'd feel guilty about whining to someone who doesn't get anything out of it unless they could do the same to me.

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>>35322600
I'm not trying to invalidate you or anything but I've had thoughts about wanting to be the opposite gender. I used to dream about it a lot actually and experienced a lot of that for a long time until I thought of something and it's this;

In the end we're just jelly fish supported by a skeleton and encased in skin, and the amount of time we land loving jellyfish get to be alive is no time at all compared to the grand scheme of things. So what does it matter if my casing doesn't match the jellyfish inside? In the cosmic blink of an eye it'll be rotting in the ground anyway.

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>>35322564
>>35322600
man i relate with these feels so much.
i kind of want to be trans or even just a cute looking dude but i'm just so masculine, tall, ugly, fat, and have a deep voice and it sucks.
i feel like people are judging me all the time and it just gets worse the more feminine i try to be
>>35322880
i suppose that's a nice way to think about it. but i just wish i could look in the mirror and not want to just fucking tear my skin off, you know?

>tfw constantly switching between hope and despair

>>35322826
i see where you are coming from i didnt really think it would work out but there are many nice people around id say its worth a try

>>35322822
When you think you will no longer feel pain, you forget the truth of the world. If it's not you suffering at a moment, it is countless others who are.

>>35322880
Yeah, but I spent over a year trying to doubt, and later rationalize it away like that. It didn't work. It doesn't change the gut reaction I have looking in the mirror or seeing my reflection/image in general. Like it's some strange grotesque weirdo, and I know somewhere instinctual that I'd be 100x better feeling if I had been a girl. I literally saw some random girl standing on the sidewalk the other day on my way back from class and started crying in my car because I felt like if I had been a girl, she was pretty close to how I would have looked. I know it's retarded and makes no sense, logically. But that doesn't change my gut reactions.

>>35322912
>i feel like people are judging me all the time and it just gets worse the more feminine i try to be
Same. I've always felt that way. It's just steadily gotten worse regardless of what I've done.

>>35322984
ah its okay to be a little selfish every now and then

No. It is not. Selfishness is an aspect of the suffering man creates into others. To be selfish is to be human. The world would be a far better place if there was no selfishness. No humanity. It would not be perfect, however, as life itself would continue to feel pain.

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>>35322912
>i just wish i could look in the mirror and not want to just fucking tear my skin off, you know?

I do. I have extreme depersonalization as a means to cope with the dissapointment that I wasn't born a woman. I look in the memory and just see a fleshy sock puppet starring back at me. But it's the one people know me by and the one I know best so I figure I'll just deal and leave well enough alone. Sometimes it is enough to be alive I suppose.

>>35322190
Mind flayers can only feel bad feels and they're constantly paranoid, though
Sounds pretty hellish

>>35322564
>being a tranny

And, that's where you fucked up, OP. You do realize trannys have the highest suicide rate? Stop taking hormones and simply focus on school. This may sound harsh but you'll never be a passable trap. In fact, you'll never truly be a girl. All that hormone you're taking will only worsen your depression and suicidal thoughts.

My advice is to take a hobby, be it board games, reading, or simply walking. Yes, it will be hard in the beginning, but traveling the long journey of being a full time tranny will only be worse.

>>35323117
It's a good thing they're fiction then.

>>35323094
*mirror but I guess they both work

>>35322984
YOU CAN'T RELIEVE EVERYONE'S PAIN
ONLY YOUR OWN
Or perhaps a few people
There's no magic red button even though there clearly should be
So if everyone relieved their own pain then there would be no pain. Bam!

>>35323117
>when you are a mind flayer and you'd rather be a person

>>35323137
Are you sure about that?
A r e y o u ?

>>35323125
that's pretty easy to say when you don't have those feelings yourself.
and i'm probably going to end up committing suicide either way so it would be nice if i could at least be somewhat satisfied with my body before that happens.

>>35323125
I have no plans on being a full time tranny. The paranoia of it alone would destroy me. I know I'd never be a girl. I know about the attempted suicide rate. The hormones do help a little though. Focusing on school is all I've been doing, but I don't give a shit about anything, and I know I'm probably just wasting my parents' money. I have hobbies. I just lose interest in them for periods of time, and then I'm forced to sit alone with my thoughts, and then it all gets worse. There's no winning as a tranny unless you're lucky.

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>>35322121
Same. Life hurts too much. God take me. But not. Literally yet.

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>>35323186
>mutilating your body just so it's pretty for when you put bullet through it

For what purpose?

>>35323234
>implying that anon's going to use a gun
Helium bags, yo.
>not wanting to die peacefully listening to your favorite song, leaving hardly any mess

>>35323153
Which is why life in itself is inherently evil. There should not be suffering. There should not be pain. The only solution to stop this inherent trait of life is to have life itself removed. This could only be done by a divine power for even after the needless pain inflicted by attempting to destroy all life from within this world, life itself would continue to exist. Even if there was no longer any life that could feel pain, the cancer will merely reemerge through evolution. All one can really do is acknowledge that life is inherently bad and think about this.

>>35323275
Unless we can science-magic some timespace shredding nonsense in the distant future

We would have to not only figure out how to destroy everything, but also how to prevent it from ever happening again.

>>35323234
maybe just so i can feel a bit of happiness for a little while. or maybe it won't help at all, i don't know.
and i probably won't go full tranny either, just cuteboy mode like OP. i would never cut my dick off or anything.

>>35323331
Very true!

Original comment. Wow!

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Give up your life to your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Become a missionary/priest/monk at a church and forget about the material world.

Or become a Buddhist monk or something like that.

>>35323370
What's your problem?
B l o x

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>tfw you want to kill yourself but don't want to hurt your parents

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>>35323275
Life happened because it could happen, because it was within the realm of possibility and for no other reason. There is no order to it, but deeming it evil means that you do not comprehend this. An imperfect creature imposing his desires upon an infinitely complex plane of existence.

Evil implies disorder when there was never any to be had. Life is not evil or good, it just is. Certainly it does not exist for you to judge the state of it.

>>35323744
Life just is and has no purpose. However the fact that pain exists is inherently wrong. It forces a purpose onto life: to suffer. It is a moral ideal to want to remove pain and suffering. Philosophy and ideology exist to try and achieve this idea. However the best way, the ultimate way, would be for life to suddenly vanish.

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>>35322206
Yeah, I know this feel too well. It's such a pain to push on when your future looks like a dead end

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>>35323952
One would argue the choice of whether or not to continue existing is what makes life inherently unique. Matter is acted upon by the forces around it. Life is unique because it resists these actions and strives to unify with, or failing that conquer all matter. This means you as well and this is what creates suffering among the living. Fear is a primal reaction to this and thus like any animal you strive to destroy what you fear.

Taking this choice away is not within your power or right nor within any lifeform and is therefore a moot point, don't you think?

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Sometime i wish i wasnt exist so i dont have to feel pain from reality