need help with upset gf

how do I fix this? I feel terrible for leaving her hanging when she needed me and now it feels like I'm dating just a hollow husk of the girl who I fell in love with. Apologizing didn't work, so I don't know what to do

>>35311190
I'm not even memeing, but go to r/relationships

>it feels like I'm dating just a hollow husk of the girl who I fell in love with

u fucked up. i hope she leaves ur ignorant selfish ass

>>35311267
I don't post on reddit though

originalioiolo

>>35311190
Buy a dog and execute it infront of her to show her how transient and fleeting the lives of animals are.

>>35311328
she's getting ready to leave him

OP needs to kick it up a notch

Explain he understands he fucked up and he loves her and wants to make it better. He is sad the dog is dead and they should ... idk do a memorial and burn flowers or light fireworks or something.

Take her on a hike, get her out of the house. She kinda hates you for not supporting her and is feeling depressed right now.

>Ive apologized numerous times and she just says "its fine" and wont talk about it
This means the apologies weren't good enough. Bake her a cake, Buy her fucking candy and flowers (no joke, do cheesy shit) and be a doting bitch for a couple weeks. Talk about you how just want to Support her.

If she's studying sit at the table next to her.

Don't ask about dogs from work! That's a sore spot right now.

>>35311363
OP doesn't deserve her. she reached out several times and he just brushed her off. everything he mentioned was about HIS needs/wants. i say it's best for her to leave him.

>>35311478
I hate this shit. Because that's ALWAYS the advice people give girls - leave him.

He did something mean, what do I do?
Leave him you can find better!


I mean, fuck OP he's just a loser normalfag, but also if OP was a chick who had made the same idiotic mistake would you tell her to abase herself and make it up to him and prove the relationship was worth all the effort and love that had gone into so far (to the point where they live together)? Or would you say leave him?

>>35311328
I made a mistake and apologized for it, don't you think breaking up over something like this is a bit harsh?

>>35311350
well that's one way to end a relationship

>>35311363
I've been trying, and I can tell that she's seriously trying to be happy since she knows I'm sorry and that I'm trying but I can see its forced. I brought home her her favorite meal from a local place and I could just see how forced her cheerfulness is. sometimes she just curls up on the couch listening to music and staring off into space. she has depression but it was actually well managed until this happened. I don't know if I should contact her therapist or not

>>35311430
>Don't ask about dogs from work! That's a sore spot right now.
You think? Normally that's the only thing she wants to talk about, that job is her damn universe. It's unusual to have a weekend where she doesn't bring a random animal home with her from work to have a "sleepover". theyve been the only thing that cheers her up before, so now I just really don't know what to do. She's not a grand gesture type of girl, not incredibly materialist either

>>35311478
I know I fucked up, I know she deserves better. That's why I'm trying

>>35311527
yes. anyone can fall out of love at any given time of their relationship. sometimes people wake up and realize that they CAN find better. it's not always the other person's fault, but they'll see that their current partner doesn't meet their needs or makes them happy anymore.

>>35311564
Bringing her favorite was sweet, keep that shit up.

>I don't know if I should contact her therapist or not
NO
you can encourage her to but don't take the choice out of her hands.

Also make it clear you DO NOT expect her to be happy or fake happiness, that will only alienate her more. Feels like awful sinking pressure.

Dont talk about the work dogs because even if she's talking about the cute Sheppard that just got in she's thinking about her dead favorite and it hurts.

It's okay she's not materialistic! Still buy her something small, a necklace from etsy with whatever type of dog that was. Or a silver picture frame and put in a picture of you two kissing. It's not to fix everything but just to make her briefly smile.

>>35311676
I guess I'm just not a normie. Marrying on a whim and then "falling out of love" and just divorcing.
When I finally start dating a guy I'll go through hell on earth to make the relationship work because I don't want to be a whore who flits from one man to the next.

>>35311705
yea, i used to believe the same thing until that shit actually happens to you and it's nothing like you see on TV or read in books. relationships don't swing that way no matter how much you connect with that person. it'll never be that easy but you obviously won't take my word for it anyway so

>>35311677
>you can encourage her to but don't take the choice out of her hands
Okay, noted

>Still buy her something small, a necklace from etsy with whatever type of dog that was
what do you guys think of this?

a couple weeks ago she was also saying how people hadn't been donating dog toys lately, so they were running out of good toys for the larger dogs. would it maybe be a good idea to buy a fuckton from amazon or something and donate them in his name?

>>35311961
>would it maybe be a good idea to buy a fuckton from amazon or something and donate them in his name?
yessssssss do this immediately

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>>35311961
shit I forgot the screenshot

>>35311991
okay, I think I'll have the boxes ship directly to her work when I know she'll be there and maybe include a note with them maybe?

>>35312042
dont buy that monstrosity

that might be good but you probably dont want to put her on the spot like that

ship to house so she can cry (with happiness and sadness) in private

>>35311345
MAYBE YOU SHOULD START FOR YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING NORMIE

>>35311350
This. She's eaten hundreds of animals in her lifetime, yet one dog she knew for like a week gets her upset?

By the way OP, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You had plans, you were busy (and she knew that too?). Put your foot down.

>>35312092
Okay I will. Thanks anon

>>35312210
Well she hasn't eaten an animal since she was 9

and no, I know I screwed up. She normally isn't the type to get upset over me being busy or not messaging her back and stuff. She has always been understanding of when I'm busy or have other things going on. This makes it even more shitty that I dropped the ball one of the few times that she really really needed me. I should've known how uoset she was when she was blowing up my phone after I didn't reply, she never does that. I didn't have to go to that cabin, we do that every month or so anyway. I completley fucked up.

>>35311705
Well she's really my first love and I lost my virginity with her so I guess I have even more incentive to try and make it work

>>35311179
Fucking normie get out! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>all these reddit tier comments
>all these normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35311363
>she's getting ready to leave him
This. Fuck her for playing those stupid games. You need to drop that bitch. I don't put up with that childish shit. These fucking females expect you to worship the ground they walk on and make your entire life revolve around them. If you try and appease them they'll lose all respect for you. It sounds cliched but you literally have to be kind of a dick to your girl once in a while. There's a reason places like this are filled with nice guys. I'm nice enough to my girl to keep her happy but I'm also enough of a dick to make her not get too comfortable. She knows that I'm ready to walk out on her like nothing and replace her with another female.

>>35312843
>It sounds cliched but you literally have to be kind of a dick to your girl once in a while
But it sounds like that's what OP did and that's why he's in this situation in the first place

>>35311564
>don't you think breaking up over something like this is a bit harsh?
>over something like this

Therein lies the problem, my dude.

>that job is her damn universe

Nigga, you fucked up. Sometimes you just have to pretend you really care about your gf's interests, even if it's getting dicked by rex thunderknot (that's the real reason she's upset, sorry to break it to you)

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Sounds like she's taking her job way too fucking seriously.
Especially since she supposedly knows what the job entails, and that shit like that happens all the tme. If she gets this asshurt about it, why did she choose it in the first place?

She literally mentioned it was dangerous, why is she making such a big fucking deal out of doing her job? It's not like she bonded with it over the course of a week or so. She shouldn't even be getting attached to the dogs in the first place since SHE FUCKING EUTHANIZES THEM FOR A LIVING.

It seems to me like the only thing to do is give it time, and next time make sure that you're available to help.

But then again I'm a 23 year old virgin, so what the fuck do I know about anything

>>35312907
>Ive apologized numerous times and she just says "its fine" and wont talk about it.

This is where he fucked up. You apologize once IF you did anything wrong, which in my estimation OP didn't do. If at that point the apology is not accepted, then its not your problem anymore (assuming the apology is sincere of course). If you sit there and beg and apologize constantly you're basically communicating to them that you're a weak bitch.

>>35312926
It's not pretending, I do care, I really do. It's just that I really don't know anything, She knows just about everything about animals. I don't want to say something and sounds stupid or wrong (which is also completley irrational because she's never been mean or harsh to me about it) so I usually just listen when she talks about it, I guess this gave the impression I don't care

>>35312949
well I tried to avoid talking about the specific situation with the dog but I guess I have to explain it because you don't know shit

>that shit like that happens all the time
it really doesn't, not where she works at least. They're considered a no-kill shelter.

>It's not like she bonded with it over the course of a week or so
The dog was there for well over 6 months. In the end she was the only one who could safely deal with him, she was even the one who named him when they took him in. apparently he was dumped by his owners and they tried to rehabilitate him, but he had too many problems in the end I guess. She had to be there to help restrain him when they did it because she was the only one he trusted enough to get a muzzle on him

>She shouldn't even be getting attached to the dogs in the first place
I thought this at first too, then it became pretty clear that you can't really do a job like her's without caring. It's like expecting a nurse to not give a shit about their patients that they care for long term. she explained it that caring about the animals is what makes someone there good at their job, but also make it harder to deal with. At least that's what she says. Apparently people in her field of work off thenselves a lot

>SHE FUCKING EUTHANIZES THEM FOR A LIVING
Not really, it's something that happens once in a while but that's not what her job mostly is

but I wouldnt expect you to understand anon, because that takes empathy

>>35313054
This sounds like sketchy PUA shit