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Thread replies: 7
Thread images: 1

File: classic-pecan-pie.png (305KB, 800x531px) Image search: [Google]
classic-pecan-pie.png
305KB, 800x531px
It all started at my parent's house, about to leave.
>be me
>17, D student, 7.5/10
>cunt gradma, hates me, I hate her, loves my brother. Let's call her Linda
>asks me to watch her house while she was away for the weekend
>i begrudgingly accept because I'm broke and I could use the money
>fuckokayfine.jpg
At my house
>Linda stops by to give me the keys to her house.
>tard brother screeches down the hall at the sound of his grandma's voice
>whatever, I'm used to it
>suddenly smell something good
>my mom just finished baking a pie
>knew it was going to be served for dessert if i didn't eat it soon
>decide to sneak it with me because I'm autistic like that
At Linda's house
>pie is still hot, her house was a short drive away
>booked it there before anyone noticed I took the pie
>realize mum will be serving dinner soon, must dispose of the evidence
>begin devouring the pie with my bare hands, only minor burns on my tongue
>mfw it's worth it
>feelsgoodman.png
>pie crust is super dry
>raid fridge and find 2 liter of mountain dew
>fuckyes.me
>chug half the bottle like the autist I am before my bladder begins to swell like the Ganges
>I rush to the bathroom, bring pie with to keep it safe
(cont...)
>>
>>35310211
Fuck off you underage faggit
>>
>>35310211
bumping because i have nothing better to do
>>
>>35310211
>bathroom reeks of old lady perfume, whatever
>emptythefloodgates.exe
>i flush and go back to my pie
>the water doesn't stop rising
>ohfuckohfuckohfuck
>no plunger in sight
>old fashioned toilet with only one hole for water to flush from
>normally i would blame my brother, but she would blame me for the toilet overflowing if i was 30 states away
>idea
>jam my foot in there to stop it from flowing
>success
>suddenly my phone rings, knew it was my mom asking where her pie went
>fucking bitch little sister made my ringtone to a bunch of cats meowing
>that's when i heart the dog
>vicious Rottweiler, some scary name I can't remember
>dog starts flipping shit
>hear him charging the closed door
>bashes into the door over and over
>totally shitting bricks
>he would happily eat anything, including the pie and probably myself
So my foot's totally stuck in there right, I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still have half a pie left.
pic related http://i.imgur.com/uyjRb7G.jpg
>>
>>35310312
please go end your life
>>
>>35310211
You probably are an obese fuck that has no self control or respect for his fanily. Just reading this story makes me know you will be a failure for the rest of your life if you dont change your ways. It is not to late anon, I was the same as you at that age and then went from 330lns to 175. There is no reason to stay unhappy and autistic. 5 years older than you now and I went from full robot to maybe not a chad but I'm definatly a top-tier brad.

Tl;dr you disgust me
>>
>>35310386
lol no, 19 and in college. 130 with 8.5/10 gf, this is fiction if you couldn't tell.
Thread posts: 7
Thread images: 1


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