/bonfirefeels/ 2

>Unexpectedly woke up at 8
>Walked to bakery to get donuts
>Saw all sorts of happy-looking people bringing their qt kids to neighborhood churches
>Wished I had a family and faith

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Gifted my bff dark souls 1, can't wait to play with him uwu

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>>35306996
>D-deus vult
Wish I had money to get doughnuts, I ate cheese and plain white bread for breakfast this morning.

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>bff
I only have to friends and they;re black. It's cool because I call them nigger and they call me faggot. It's a nice symbiotic relationship.

>>35307016

I totally would have shared the donuts with you, bro.

Some bakeries sell off the previous day's baked goods for dirt cheap.

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>/bonfirefeels/
>tfw go to have honor duels in the forest and get ganked by hackers

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>Never finished Ashes of Ariandel

What is wrong with me

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>>35307087
I would have shared my white bread and cheese with you too dude.

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>>35307145
>tfw never even finished first game

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>>35306960
I just got The Silmarillion book so maybe I can disappear into it for awhile and forget how much I want to kill myself.

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>>35307182
Nice. I was never into Tolkein myself but my mom got The Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire from some work friend, probs gonna try to get into that. There;s so much to read though....

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>>35307182
Here is a blurry ass pic of them

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>Homage to Catalonia
good read

my day yesterday was very "college"
I've just decided I'm quitting after this semester so now I can simply enjoy myself here

>get up at noon, go to my friend's room
>2 guys on shrooms, 1 girl on acid, 1 girl on xanax
>more of em are just stoned
>I go to lunch with the two sober guys, my best friends
>friend a girl on facebook when I get back (a virgin whom I had eaten out the previous week)
>she accepts and comes over to my room shortly
>I don't have a phone and I let her believe my name was slightly different so she couldn't find me on facebook, my idea of a joke I guess but it turns out it was a mistake
>because she tells me that friday night, she made out with some meathead (she's also my height and thiccer than me)
>oh wow well love is a battlefield I have to get her back for that
>convince her to give me some weed for my broken heart and blue balls
>just shoot the shit with her for some more time
>she's about to leave, she won't agree to let me at her pussy again
>but then I say she can suck my dick, something she said she'd always wanted to try, and something I had already told her was not my favorite thing
>we had hotdogged last time so she wasn't really a virgin anymore, but after this time she finally admitted it
>she leaves
>I get high af
>my 2 best friends are now barred out, too
>they drive to buy fresh ingredients to make Nachos
>no room in the car for me so I just watch Jared play the new Zelda game (Jared is a character which r9k would be intrigued by, I could talk about him next)
>they come back, I go to a party without them but it was lame so I turn around and come back
>my stomach was killing me, hadn't eaten in a while and had smoked a lot
>the boys are in the kitchen making nachos
>not only that, but they've decided to ransack the communal fridge
>we fry potatoes, cook potstickers and duck necks, drink milk, eat carrots and peppers, use peanut sauce, and more
>we feast like bandit-kings late into the night

>>35307504
Can you tell us about Jared?

>>35307578
sure thing, sit tight while I type it out

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>>35307504
That is a very "college" sorta day. I go to a community college in my city and work part time. I feel like I'm missing out on that life. If I'm not at work, I'm at class. I don't really know anybody here even though I've lived here for 3 years. My only time I "hang out" with friends is when I play steam games with dudes I've kept in touch with from my old residence.

Sorry for blogpost

I got shit faced last night and totally austimo'd on my gf. My life's falling to pieces and idk what to do anymore

>>35307578
>Jared is, candidly put, a ratty looking turbomanlet
>smart kid, not a normie
>as he put it, "if you've spent a good amount of time alone, you've had more time to think"
>most of the other kids use him as a sort of verbal punching bag, will also "forget to invite him" to things
>acts thirsty with sluts that are already getting dicked by chads and tyrones
>makes "jokes" about crying himself to sleep, being depressed, getting bullied in both high school and college
>and about having a small penis
>"no really anon, I have a tiny penis. it's really really small, I hate it"
>told me about how he invited his high school bff/crush to visit him at college, she was acting like she wanted it until she finally saw his cock
>he basically ended up sitting outside his own room while she was in there on her phone figuring out how to either go home or stay somewhere else for that weekend, not sure

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>>35307771
>austimo'd on my gfaustimo'd on my gf
What did you do exactly?

>>35307818
Just got really sad drunk and gave her the whole you're too good for me I'm a piece of shit speech, told her I hated myself and didn't want to be alive anymore

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>>35307796
YEESH I definitely know a few spergs like that.

>tfw i can sorta relate to Jared
>feelsbad

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>>35307877
dang

origigigigigio

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>>35307923
The worst part is she's really kind and actually cares about me I love her a lot but you know, she has a normally functioning brain she's not used to the levels of autism I put out.

>>35307894
>i can sorta relate
in what ways

also, "Sperg" could be right, he could probably handle these social situations a lot better
for example, I'm one of his allies, yet even when I banter him a little bit, about nothing, he comes back with some poorly timed salty bs, makes him look bad

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>>35308002
>>i can sorta relate
in what ways

Well like I feel like I'm a back up friend to the group of dudes I play games with. Like I'm the last guy the come to, and the first guy they drop. We get along fine, our time together is full of laughs. Maybe It's my autistic paranoia talking.

>>35308276
Jared's not a back up friend, he's actually a lot of fun to hang with
normies treat him poorly and always forget that he makes the time better, because of their prejudice against people like him

>>35307504
sounds like a very "normalfag" day to me

>>35308276
>>35309063
also I bet your problem comes from self esteem problems
or autistic paranoia more than anything

>>35309106
we're banditos, not normalfags, marica

I wake up every morning feel like shit
>Dropped out of college and live in a foreign country
>neet
>can't speak the language
>living with relative make it worse
>turning 21 this month
On my birthday 11 years ago
My mom was incredibly sick
She passed away after my birthday
Last time I talked to her is when I gave the lollipop from my birthday party
>no future
>no life
I just want to end it all sometime

>>35307145
>he didn't fight the best boss in the Souls series

Is this the normalfag bitchfest thread?

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>>35306960
Happy Birthday Sire, have another knightly feel

>tfw put off writing again

>>35309546
Eh who gives a shit anymore. Suffering is relative, etc., etc., etc.

>>35309399
Where do you live senpai? What were you studying?

>Tomorrow back to classes
>Facing my ex again
>That, if she doesn't skip classes to avoid me
>Feel bad because i still feel something for her
>Put a confident and smug attitude and ignoring her without holding a grudge on her
>Actually realizing that she started avoiding me the day i put this attitude
>Feel good for one side as i'm relevant enough to make my attitude bother her
>Feel bad for one side as i don't like to hurt anyone despite what they have done to me
>Honestly i would be happy with her hating me as it denies any chance of coming back to her happening

>>35309741
>having to see an ex ever again
This is a very bad feel. I'm glad I moved far away from her

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>tfw 30th birthday in 10 days

>>35309776
We study the same degree so i will have to face her almost everyday, and we usually share the same friend's circle (actually that's how we met), so it's fucking painful as i just wanna hide and forget everything but also i don't wanna lose the good friends i made

>>35309877
I'm sorry anon
You fell for the gf meme
It's going to be very painful when you see her with other guys

>>35309926
>It's going to be very painful when you see her with other girls
FTFY as she told me that she started to like girls
But you know, i want to think i dodged a bullet
And i'd rather not have any gf if that implies feeling like this

>>35309728
I'm living in ukraine
I was studying engineer programming

>>35309823
My 30th is right around the corner too. Feelsbad

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>>35309621
that's going in the feelsknight folder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAtnoPAqU_w

>>35310146
My family want me to do something, I just want to be alone and try to forget about it.

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>>35310190
Gotta do what makes you feel good dude.
Whenever I do something with my family I feel like shit for a while after.

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>>35306960
>tfw even people here have gf
>meanwhile I'm sitting here alone with almost no friends and no perspectives whatsoever

also is this feels thread or a dark souls thread?

>>35310190
I live alone and my family doesn't talk to one another. I'll probably spend my 30th shitposting on 4chan.

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>>35310297
>also is this feels thread or a dark souls thread?

B-both? It's a chat round' the fireplace.
I don't have a gf either.

>>35310297
I'm working on becoming a normie right now and I feel like im close, but to be quite honest senpai, your outlook on life right now is probably the right one.

Its bullshit. a waste of time, no purpose Ive stared into the abyss and although i feel happy now its just around the corner waiting to comeback.

>>35310026
thats probably not true
my ex said that after we broke up too and now shes dating a fat guy

>>35306960

At least the book wasn't "How Not to Be Such a Loser"

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>>35310369
>>35310317
>tfw I only had one e-gf when I was like 15

At least you dudes had real gfs to mourn over.

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>>35310389
Nah boy, I love the book. Goerge Orwell is a cool dude I love all his books/essays this is the only one I didn't own, though I read it before.

>>35310369
Honestly i don't care
But coming from a self defined "bi" from even before our relationship, i can expect everything from her, but hey, who cares?

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>>35310066
mmmm. How was the stem meme? I'm wasting my money on a meme degree here. Where are you from? Maybe you could move back home and do cc?

>>35310297
Cyborg erring on the robot side here. best ive gotten was a hug one time At this point I find to be far more rewarding to just accept that I find intimacy and close relations incredibly frightening and that I enjoy being alone and doing my own thing. Feels ok man

>>35310622
I'm from vn and moving back isn't an option rn

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>>35310777
Work and try to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay.

>>35310622
>best ive gotten was a hug one time
kinda like me
> At this point I find to be far more rewarding to just accept that I find intimacy and close relations incredibly frightening and that I enjoy being alone and doing my own thing. Feels ok man
I kinda want a relationship with anyone, but on the other side I'm not really an open person, and spending majority of my free time with another human being, even worse if said creature will be female is incredibly frightening for me
>>35310353
my outlook on life changes pretty much every week, but is depressing in every case.
Perhaps this is why I love escapism so much

>>35310833
Trying anon I'm trying

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>tuesday algorithms exam
>i cant stop playing vidya, browse fourchan, watch jewtube
>do everything to mentally block myself from actually learning
why is my brain doing this. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????

>>35306960

I have a real life date today but it's with an obese, asexual, and autistic girl. I don't know if I even want to go or not. It feels like even humoring this is lowering myself but if I don't go god knows I won't be doing anything else anyways besides sitting alone and bored in my room.

What do you guys think? As I said, she's obese and asexual, but she is also dirt poor and doesn't have any other female friends either. I honestly can't come up with a reason to not just cancel on her.

She's a 26 year old virgin and doesn't have any interest to fuck anyone, even if she lived someone and was married.

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>>35311296
well i'd say fuck it and at least try to get in her pants, even if it doesn't work what's the harm in trying.

Today was the same as it has been the past 6 months
>Watched anime till 8am, woke up at 4pm
>got dinner, had a feg
>Spent rest of the day fucking about on the PC
Currently on the dole cause I have to wait another year if I want to hop on an access course to Uni and I feel like I'd just want to kill myself even more if I had a shitty retail job, been applying for tons of Pharmacies and shit-tier hospital jobs, no luck yet. Also Girlfriend broke up with me on Thursday cause we've grown apart, she's on the same wavelength of autismo as me so we get on super well but extroverted as fuck, where I'm introverted and barely leave the house so it didn't work out after a year and a half, feels bad but I'd already prepared myself cause I saw it coming so I haven't been too bad, how's everyone else's love life been lately?

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>>35310777
Sire is indeed right>>35310833
Hard work is happy work preferably to the point where you dont have the time/energy to think

>>35310847
>I kinda want a relationship with anyone, but on the other side I'm not really an open person

It seems to take quite a lot of effort to maintain face in most relationships; I've only met maybe 4 people that I don't have to put a mask up around and I really wish I didn't have to weed through all the bs to find these people. I wish I still regularly spoke with them, oh well. On the other hand I suppose all the redpills n shit here don't exactly encourage a person to be open, especially if we aren't inclined to be. Maybe this is what giving up truly feels like; a complete lack of care in the matter, instead choosing to let fate take you where it will.

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>>35311892
What anime you been watching lately?

>how's everyone else's love life been lately?

Non-existent and living in the past. How long was the relationship? Got any cute autism stories?

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It's just another one of those days. I'm considering purchasing For Honor but that's about it.

>>35312126
Was catching up on Demi-chan (so feel good, 10/10) and started Witchcraft Works which I'm definitely getting into

>Non-existent and living in the past.
Awk, you'll pull through anon, I believe in you, what's got you stuck in the past?

We were together for a year and a half and friends for a year before that, didn't end on bad terms though. We used to get stoned together and there was a point she was fucking about adding paper to a joint and I'd asked her why she was making it into a dragon and she kept screaming to get out of her head and asking how I knew but I just knew, literally minutes later she started moving her hair in front of her face and I knew she was trying to make it like a bane mask and she shouted at me again asking how I knew, there's loads of other shit but I'd have to sit down and remember, just shit like that and screaming bane quotes in public, she'd call me a neckbeard all the time and get all defensive when I brought up how she was a weeb for being super into anime and had figurines

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>>35312408
>We were together for a year and a half and friends for a year before that, didn't end on bad terms though. We used to get stoned together and there was a point she was fucking about adding paper to a joint and I'd asked her why she was making it into a dragon and she kept screaming to get out of her head and asking how I knew but I just knew, literally minutes later she started moving her hair in front of her face and I knew she was trying to make it like a bane mask and she shouted at me again asking how I knew, there's loads of other shit but I'd have to sit down and remember, just shit like that and screaming bane quotes in public, she'd call me a neckbeard all the time and get all defensive when I brought up how she was a weeb for being super into anime and had figurines


Awww, I may look scary, but cute shit gets me every time. That's good that it was more of a positive ending in a sense. I was thinking about watching Demi, but only current seasons I've been keeping up on are konosuba and dragon maid. I'll have to check out Witchcraft Works, seems like it would be pretty alright.

>Awk, you'll pull through anon, I believe in you, what's got you stuck in the past?

I tend to be a nostalgic person in general; thereby thinking about chances in high school. Specifically I have unresolved mommy issues since she has always been a manipulative cunt. However, my misogynistic hate and hate towards many things in general has gotten better the past couple months and I believe I am at least at some sort of turning point in my world view. Basically what I said here>>35310622
I'm willing to give it time, but at this point the idea of finding a relationship seems to be becoming more of a fantasy than a possible reality.

>>35311892
>how's everyone else's love life been lately?
>love life
>me
At least it didn't get any worse

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>>35306960
hey that's a great book, orwell's a really beautiful person.

happy birthday friend.

i drank too much last night, and i've been sitting in bed browsing image boards and watching cartoons all day, despite it being warm and sunny outside, and i should go for a bike ride.