Four years ago, I'd just graduated from college. Wasn't great at socializing. "Realized" that everyone was a prostitute. Started socializing well, but it was all based around this false premise. Eventually asked some people, they couldn't believe I was deluded, so didn't say "no" strong enough. I went on believing that for like a year. I've developed a strong dissociation, something that's typically the result of trauma, and it focuses around intimacy and socializing. It's hard because I know there's a key, a code at the center of socializing. I've been getting better, but I've got to break the "guy who was only pretending to be good" meme
How?
Sounds like you're caring about the wrong things for the wrong reasons man. Sometimes you gotta give the world the finger and focus on your goals, be it school, making money, building muscles, or even just making it out alive to go home and play video games. People are always gonna talk but you don't have to listen. Everyone has a different worldview and thats okay. As long as no one is putting hands on you then you're good to go.
Intimacy is very difficult for a lot of people. If you're like me you want a long term relationship with no cheating but most of the world doesn't operate that way unfortunately. We might just have to settle with hookers and porn or tinder dates, buying girls shit and hoping they let us fuck. Reality isn't always great but we gotta do what we can
>>35306420
I mean, they're not prostitutes. I'm a good, empathic person, but I've got a jagged block
>>35306536
Naw I know what you mean. If you think about it we're all prostitutes in a way, we sell ourselves (try to make good impressions) to get what we want in life. Its easy to see the bad in other people especially when you don't feel like you're getting treated right. Some people really do go out of there way to give you a bad day, and those are the ones to stay away from.
If you think that you might be legitimately unhealthy mentally, theres doctors who will try to help if you go to them.
>>35306642
It's not that. People are afraid of me. I went from nothing to a person, you know? I was probably about a week from going comet pizza on it, or killing myself and leaving a long accusatory note. That was two years ago. I've picked up the pieces, still feel like I'm missing something important. But now people look at me like I'm a Thing which has a human shape. Cuz I lied to them for years and they didn't know I was having trouble.
>>35306746
Let them look man, let them be scared! We are men, we are beasts of nature. As long as you're not committing crimes you have nothing to worry about. Unfortunately we have to pay people to get them to listen to our problems most of the time, but hey, we all feel pain in this life.