Who else here is not a kissless virgin?

>>35299930
>at my oneitis' house
>she just came back from uni
>talked to her for about a good 30 min
>suddenly she said "God, my feet is killing me!" due to a group project
>in a joking manner said "I can give you a foot message."
>She thought I was being serious and said "Oh really, you'll do that for me?"
>explained to her it was a joke
>she pressured me into doing it because It'll make her feel better
>realized this is my chance to obtain her, so accepted the offer
>tfw I've spended almost 3 hours giving her a foot message
>tfw I was a beta and didn't make my move
>tfw I had little sleep due to studying for an exam

Almost, lads.

>>35299930
i am not a kissless virgin
t. kissless virgin

i had 3 gf's a couple of them long term sort of, and 2 fwb's that i met on wow of all places.

>>35299945
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCO-SBPTF5E

foot massage is not sexual

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>sleeping next to gf atm
>haven't seen her in two weeks
She works I'm at uni
>we plan to get wild and fuck like crazy
>she finally arrives and we take shower
>she gets annoyed when I touch her sexually
>get out of shower and she falls asleep

Pic related

>>35300030
Let me have hope, dammit.

>>35300052
maybe she was on her period or something, at that point i would just fuck her anyways

2005:
>Be 16, kissed a drunk college girl at an amusement park
2007:
>Made out with short mixed race girl at youth group retreat
>Made out with thicc and fat BBW co-worker after I left first job
>Made out with a high school friend's ex gf and later regretted it
>Made out and cuddles with with fugly Asian girl met at one of the few house parties I been to
>Made out with fugly Mexican co-worker, later regretted it because she smells bad and is very bitchy

>2011:
>meet older woman on hiking trail
>find out she lives near me
>invites me over to hang out and have wine
>doesn't seem to want to cuddle
>after saying goodbye she decides to walk me home
>comes upstairs as if she's going home with me
>tell her she can't come in because will wake up parents and they'll kick her out then kick me out
>make out with her and then let her walk out the back door to the alley
>feel weird and loose contact after a few facebook messages

>2012
>Meet "Indie" (hipster) mixed Asian girl in a college class
>hung out after class sometimes and end up making out with her
>she's a smoker
>find myself having cigarette cravings despite having never smoked before
>find out she's a SJW feminazi tumblrina
>lose all interest
>stop making out with her for awhile
>get turned on while hugging her and started kissing her again
>next semester she ignores me and later deletes me on facebook

2013:
>meet fat woman a few years older on from craigslist
>cuddle, make out with her and play with her pussy
>find out she's bipolar and on psych meds, obsessed with Disney, and has horrible body odor once the perfume wears off
>lose interest, decide to remain virgin even though she flat out offered to "take" my virginity

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>>35299945

You think this is fucking something?

>make an account on okc just to see what I can find
>after almost 6 months in there there's one viable girl who replies
>we exchange numbers and talk everyday
>she's the one who sends the first text
>tells me shes a virgin
>tell me she likes me
>we start dating
>we make out
>take her home one day
>have condoms, tells me to fuck her, begs me to fuck her
>slip down my pants, asks me if I need help with the condom, I say "nah im fine, I know how to do it"
>its way harder than it looks and I fucked it up, wasted 1 condom
>she tries to help me with 2nd one
>im not hard at all
>waste that condom too
>no sex yet
>put on the third one
>cant get it up
>cant penetrate her because of how soft i am
>girl just seems super disappointed
>tells me all is ok
>since that day she wasn't the same to me
>next time at my house, had no condoms, got it up super hard but couldn't do anything because of lack of condoms
>she starts "cheating" on me looking for severla other guys while avoiding me
>tell her to fuck off because I got pride
>some days later she texts me "im so sorry, i really miss you"
>leave her on seen and dont say shit.
>regret it, try to talk to her months later
>SHE'S FUCKING ENGAGED
>IGNORES ME
>that was 3 years ago
>still a fucking virgin
>have not dated anyone since then.

Tell me how "almost" was that?