I feel like when I die I'll finally be able to breathe again

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I feel sorry for myself alot. I want to change but then I never fall through. Giving up is alot easier.

I come here to look at posts in the hopes of being similar but I don't think I am similar enough to be a '''robot'''. I know I have some level of willpower.

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But in spite of this willpower it is still quite hard. I can document my slow spiral into a kind of subtle insanity that is slowly growing. I lack energy, really to do anything about it, or maybe I just believe I am still salvageable?

I have recently been reading alot of Viktor Frankl and he advocates the need for a strong willpower and an attitude that veers away from the idea that situational causation is the main factor in how our maladies, or any kind of problem, develops. He argues that while it is not always factually the case, it is important that the individual possess that attitude in order to make any kind of personal changes, because it conditions you to focus on improvement.