/bonfirefeels/

>>35273024
Slept 16 hours, woke up with a splitting headache, puked.
Stayed in all day just like I've done the last 2 weeks eating frozen pizza and shitposting mostly. Saw In Bruges. Pretty good.
By the looks of it, I wont get any sleep tonight. Trying to get back into routine.

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>>35273024
>Got up and tried to go running but quit because I was wearing shorts in like 30 degree weather
>Fell asleep and had to wake up again in time for work
>At work, half of my time was devoted to overanalyzing the speech patterns of my oneitis
>the other half was being annoyed at the shrill old ladies that make up most of our business

I don't even know if I like my oneitis that way anymore, but I've posted about her here literally every night since January.

>>35273064
when I get in them awake till 6 in the morning then sleep my way through school moods I have to force myself to keep going until I totally collapse and sleep for days until next week roles around and my sleep schedule is fucked all over again!"

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>>35273024
rather good. bf used to jerk off to youtube atheists like thunderfart but now he's watching Shaun and Jen while killing time at his observe and report security jorb. I did nothing deliberate to make this happen.

>>35273148
has something happened that made you think differently of your oneitis, or has it just changed

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>>35273245
cuck bf best bf

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sperged out in class today
stuck finger up ass today
thats about it

>>35273256
I mean, I started meeting her in person recently (like I said back in January) and she's now both within my reach and, since I know how she is in real life, totally out of my league.

There was an interesting point where, after we watched John Wick 2, we were hanging at her place. She brings up to me, "Y'know a lot of people think I'm the type that would date jocks, but I'm actually way more into nerds".

I asked her what her definition of a nerd was, and she was like "Just people who are really passionate about stuff. Musicians, writers, video game people, programmers, that sort of thing."

It really activated my almonds if you catch my drift. Her coworker says she's probably leading me on but I couldn't possibly understand why. I don't have anything noteworthy about me beyond an autistic film obsession (that I make readily apparent at any given opportunity).

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>>35273419
>I asked her what her definition of a nerd was, and she was like "Just people who are really passionate about stuff. Musicians, writers, video game people, programmers, that sort of thing."
>Her coworker says she's probably leading me on but I couldn't possibly understand why. I don't have anything noteworthy about me beyond an autistic film obsession (that I make readily apparent at any given opportunity).

Seems like her definition of nerd. Is there any sexual tension at all?

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>>35273024
Stayed in bed instead of going to school and texted my dad about how hopeless and shitty i feel and gave up on my lent promise, went to get shopping with my dad then came home played civ v and just stayed on my laptop all day and on youtube feeling shitty like most of my free time.

one day im going to reach the end

>>35273603
What were you intending to abstain from for lent? Less than I do every single day?

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>>35273603
>having a good enough relationship with your dad to at least be able to call him

You got that at least, wish I did.

>>35273517
I had my hand on her thigh at some points during the movie, and near the end I had my arm around her. This was on Valentine's, mind.

There's not been much since. At the open mic this past Wednesday, we sang I See Fire (though we both didn't really know the song, the only other guy up there was that coworker and he'd been playing for like 2 hours). She kept scooting closer to me, sitting up on a table while I'm just sitting in a chair. At least that's what my autistic ass was picking up on.

There is another, sire. He may be the one to take the throne from me. They're able to talk more freely, whereas my conversations end up stilted and awkward unless she takes the reins (in which case it becomes much more lively). I certainly wouldn't blame her, he's not terrible looking, but I don't know for sure.

>>35273640
nothing but water, chocolate sweets etc

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>>35273686
It seems you definitely have a shot. I'd go make a serious move before the normie takes thine lady. I'm a virgin who has very little experience though so I wouldn't really know.

>>35273735
So fruit would be allowed? What about 100% whole food desserts sweetened with only fruit? Dates are so sweet you can make stuff with them and no added sugar and still have someone going "wtf y u add so much sugar"

>>35273771
ive broke it now. it is done

>>35273803
That all or nothing attitude is why you're here.

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>>35273767
Many thanks for the vote of confidence, sire. Perhaps I'll make the move upon my next meeting with her.

This is the result of me providing all the details in a previous thread. I remember being in a situation like this in high school, where it was clear that she'd say yes but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

>>35273820
you dont know how lent works you fucking normie

>>35273845
You actually do it when no one is around to see? So you believe God sees? And you're here? That's interesting.

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>>35273841
> I remember being in a situation like this in high school, where it was clear that she'd say yes but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

Been there, sadly. . . I know the feel. I'll be trying to make this a "thing" so you better check in and update me.

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I'm so nervous about going to MEPS this week. The Army is my last shot at making something of myself and giving me some sort of discipline, and if they reject me, i'm done. I'm either going an hero or attempting to live as a forest wizard. I just need somebody to help me, I don't know what i'm doing. Nobody ever cared about me or taught me anything. I grew up on video games and pornography and now i'm expected to be a functioning human being. It's really hard to throw yourself into something with zero support. What's even the point then?

>>35273890
If you're here this coming Wednesday, sire.

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>>35273899
>What's even the point then?
The point is whatever you make it, dude. What branch are you going into? Good luck on the MEPS.

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>>35273924
>If you're here this coming Wednesday, sire.
I'll be here.
>tfw neet

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>Fell in the hall
>people laughed
>tfw even more of an outcast now than i was last week

>>35273670
My dad who used to touch my ass when I was asleep almost came over to watch a movie with my mom but I got dressed to leave and she just went over to his place

Basically I did laundry and shopped for my own food today and bought a ton of healthy ish junk food and I'll be set for like. 4 weeks minimum

>>35274118
at least ur not watching porn at 5am and cant masturbate like me

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>>35274181
Why can't you jerk it?

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>>35273024
I was kinda tired, and I fucked up a Latin quiz this morning. Then I played some vidya, did a bit of hw, and put off my writing again. Maybe I'll just stay up late and write tonight since roommate is gone until tomorrow.

Overall just ok I guess. I've been transcending the no friends and no gf feels lately so that is good, but it might just be a period of optimism. At least it's Friday and I can do my radio slot.
also tfw all the normies are celebrating st. pats on campus with a weekend of drinking

>>35273603
I'm glad you guys have that relationship.
I have a good relationship with my dad, but I feel like I would be burdening him if I told him about my problems.

>>35274215
its not really like that i mean sure hell say whats wrong but i cant really say whats up

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>>35274215
Don't worry social drinking is a meme. Whenever I have gotten drunk with people I make a total ass of myself and they start to distance themselves from me.

>>35274204
idk man i just dont get pleasure from it and dont cum

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>>35274268
>don't get pleasure from it and don't cum
SHIT dude I'm sorry man. If I couldn't masturbate I'd fucking end it.

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only got 3x3 instead of 5x3 on my ATG pause squats lads

>>35274287
well doesnt bother me since i havnt had it happen but i get wet dreams so idk whats going on i just hope i can have kids

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>>35274301
rip thats the real feelsbad

>>35273024

How do I ever be good enough?

>>35274330
I suspect you can't fuck and have kids if you can't get it up. Gotta find things that make your loins yearn.

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>>35274252
Eh, my bad, guess I misinterpreted it. Still, good to have that relationship.

>>35274261
I kinda know that feel. I had an opportunity 2 times or so in hs and I really didn't enjoy it. If anything I find it more concerning when I obsess over what motivates them to do such a thing and the subsequent effects this has on society as a whole with these activities being normalized among young people. (ex. here people will be drinking from now at 11pm all the way through at least saturday or maybe even sunday).

>>35274301
I'm so sorry fellow /fit/izen. Next week man.

>>35274341
Buy a steed and slay heretics?

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>>35274341
>forgot steed
>pic related
>it steed

>>35274374
i can get it up

Worked all day between my two jobs. Both were really busy.

Made $217 in tips at my serving job tonight, so that was nice. Picking up most of tomorrow and working my normal Sunday night, and its supposed to be busy all weekend. Also got a bonus at my office job this week.

For the first time in my life, I have money. Two years ago I was making ~200-250 a week while living with my mom and now I have my own place and no debt. I'm not really sure what I should do with my extra money. I don't play a whole lot of video games anymore, I don't travel (haven't even left my city in over two years) I don't have a girlfriend or anyone to spend money on, I don't care about driving a fancy car or buying expensive clothes. I am, however, sort of expecting things to take a dive (no basis for this besides being a pessimist) at both of my jobs and I'll just NEET it up for a while, spending all my time streaming old TV shows off of Russian websites just like I used to when I barely worked.

Guess I've started to ramble. I am drinking whiskey, but I'm not even drunk yet. I've noticed I haven't been drinking as much lately, which I guess is a good thing. Most nights I get home and I'm too tired to drink. I just lie down and wait to eventually fall asleep so I can begin the cycle again.

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>>35274693
save your money anon...

>>35274693
Why is someone capable of working as a server posting here?

>>35274693
Save/low risk invest that money for when you do have a gf and want to take her abroad so she permanently associates you with good feels.

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>>35273024
I just beat Manus, Kalameet and Seath today!

Feels good man! Onto the tomb of the giants and nito next. I can't wait to beat the game and play through DS2 next, it's been a while and I'm excited as hell to fight Sinh, Alonne, The Ivory King, Fume Knight and Aldia again.

>>35275042

I can socialize in fleeting interactions. Serving, at least at the restaurant I work in (not fine dining where you reeeeealy have to kiss ass), is mostly about being polite and not messing up orders. Somehow I've been able to get by without getting into many in-depth conversations with customers. Busy nights are easier for me since I don't have to converse as much, my job is more about keeping track of tables (table 1 probably needs their check soon, table 2 has food coming up, table 3 is about ready to order) and as long as people aren't waiting too much, they're content.

I'm also a wizard, if that helps explain why I'm posting on /r9k/

>>35273024
>get way drunk before bed
>drunk texted coworker fifteen years older than me
>woke up feeling regret

>>35273391
Greentext of your sperg please

>>35273245
>Bf

Why do god damn NORMIE have to ruin every thread with their cancer?

>>35276052
How did /r9k/ become all about not having a gf when it was just another misc board?

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>>35273024
Best friend from childhood called me the other day, invited me to his grandpa's funeral for today. He was raised with them so I knew him really well.
He wouldn't respond to my messages the last 2 days asking for date and time, I went over and knocked on his door today but no one answered.

Ended up not going because I didn't know where to go... I don't know man, he's a weird guy. I just want my friend back.

>>35274261
Absolutely this desu. I can't even be near people and talk to them without alcohol, and with it I pretty much guarantee they'll never talk to me again.

Got into another argument with my parents. I have less than 2 months to get a job or I'm getting kicked out. And even then, they might kick me out anyway.

If I get kicked out, I'm dead. I don't know anyone in this city anymore. Everyone I knew in school left me. My last friend, who I've known almost my whole life, turned into a Chad and doesn't understand my issues. Jokes on him though, he knocked up his girlfriend and she wouldn't get an abortion.

But unfortunately, that means our friendship is coming to an end soon. We barely hangout as it is, he won't have time for anything when the kid's born.

Been thinking about joining the army. Sure, it's basically indentured servitude, but I don't know if I really want to die yet. A free ride for 5 years in exchange for putting up with bullshit doesn't sound too bad.

I dunno, I just kinda wanted to type all this out. Not sure if it fits the thread.

The uncertainty is what kills me.
I never know what I will be capable of, of what life will throw at me.
Most of all, I never know what I will lose next.

>>35273024
Lost my job, but's it's just as well because I hated it most of the time anyway.
I'll miss bullshitting with like 2 coworkers but that's about it, finding another one won't be hard either.

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I just woke up an hour ago at 1pm. I'm feeling like shit thinking about the guy I like.

I feel left out. He's pretty introverted too, more so than me, but people (read: normies) always seem to make an effort to include him. I don't know to what extent, but people never want to include me in their lives. It just hurts they're having good times with him and I'm probably not going to talk to him for another month (as usual). Is it too much to ask for to be valued?

pic very much related

>>35280659
im a guy for reference

>>35273024
>Tfw I see a friend
>He waves at me
>At last, I'm not alone!
>He runs through me
>It was merely illusion
>I'm alone, unseen by the passing shades smiling and laughing together in their own worlds
>Warp to Irythyll Dungeon
>Enter cell
>Close the door
>Lie down and stare and the ceiling

>>35278650
drifting through life, never knowing what you could achieve if you tried, right? I'm sure a lot of I share the feel.

Just wasn't feeling work today. Bit miserable. Eating carrots and hummus. Clinging to a week on Monday when I can get drunk for a couple of days