uni depression

Where you study, anon? Uniesquina?

That sounds like it would just make the depression worse. At least school gives me something concrete and structured to do

>>35270811
>That sounds like it would just make the depression worse
It does. Being an unwilling NEET was the worst period of my life.

>>35270733
federal aegeababa

>>35270811
it does but the only thing i do in class is keep thinking about blowing my brains off
i can't concentrate for shit

>>35270603
I dropped out because where everyone was social and had friends, I was alone and miserable. I felt like I was in a different world, just am observer.
Took away all my motivation to succeed.
Got stuck on r9k and just been weeping in my misery.

>>35270603
Why no trade school for blue-collar job?

>>35270913
>I was alone and miserable
ah yes you're not the only one
this time i'm trying to socialize but it isn't working, i feel out of place, and add to that almost everyone is younger than me, that makes me even more anxious and worsen the depression

>>35270955
i can't afford it
and besides i'm literally retarded in mathematics

I dropped out really early in my first year after I tried killing myself during a breakdown. I realized that it would just be a waste of money and time for me to go, so I figured I'd solve my mental problems first, then try Uni. A year later after going to a handful of therapists and taking medication, I'm in university, failing all my classes, and still as depressed as I was before.

I just don't think Uni is for me.

>>35271065
I think you've misunderstood what a trade school, look it up on google.

>>35271509
yeah i just checked i don't think we have those here but anyway the grades i'm taking are kinda like that but it isn't working
as i said i feel out of place, i hate being in a room full of people with nothing in commom with me, and the fact i'm one of the oldest person there makes me feel like a bag of shit

I'm in 2nd year of CS and fucking hate it, I failed 3/4 of my classes last semester and I'm on route to failing 4/4 this semester. I feel completely retarded in a class full of people who know exactly what their doing and as a result have tried to distance myself from the others and the lecturers so they don't catch on to me being useless.

I asked about changing course but I can't bring myself to take another course that I'll probably fuck up and want to drop uni but I've got to stay put for the semester to keep my tab of the flat bills in check.

I've been staying at home trying to keep up with topics and to dodge group coursework but now I'm getting emails and letters asking where I am. I'm such a fucking idiot.

I don't want my grandparents to know how much of a fuck up I am, I want to make them proud.