/britfeel/

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Hope your all taking part in Lent.

i've personally given up masturbation. so far so good

>>35251444
Thread didn't just die, lad. It got pruned at 200 posts for some bizarre reason.

also checked

>>35251474
Same. Shame I've given up sleep against my will too

>>35251444
night crew reporting in

>>35251618
That is really odd. I've only ever seen /britfeel/ threads get pruned if there is a thread war.

>>35251444
God bless you OP. I tried to remake the thread but kept getting a captcha error indefinitely. Something seems suspicious. Are they trying to keep us silent?

Oh and, nice digits

>>35251846
We're reuniting the divided British spirit, lad. They fear the resurrection of the Empire.

>>35251474
>do nofap for lent
>posts those giant tits
You're really not doing yourself any favours

Not doing nofap, but doing no porn. It's gotten too degenerate and if I can't get off without extreme porn I shouldn't be getting off at all.

>>35251444
Good work lad, correct image too.
was tempted to post one myself but theres no worse feel than posting one and being the only lad left

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Desperate to find an online lewdbuddy lads. It's quite pathetic and I'm ashamed of myself for wanting it, but I just want a girl who occasionally trades lewd pics with me and otherwise is just chill to talk to

Does such a girl exist?

>>35252189
>Does such a girl exist?
No

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>>35251618
>pruned at 200 posts for some bizarre reason
hmmmmmm suspicious

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>>35252045
the truth is
I don't find tits or big tits sexually attractive i'm not a nonce either so don't get that idea. I don't really get an erection to anything unless I work for it really. Recently its been almost exclusively stuff on the gay side of things, its a faint hope that nofap shall fix that.

>>35252189
>girl

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>>35252203
Ah

Then how am I supposed to find an irl girl than can see past my literal virgin walk/stance? I walk like a pubescent 12 year old

>>35252263
your pro-bender stance only makes me more straight

>>35252263
Poofter
>>35252277
Glad you're not one. I was only kind of joking about the "No"

Evens I sleep, odds I don't

>>35252362
Ah fuck. Now I actually have to try and sleep

>>35252362
sleep tight anonner

>>35252389
I'll try. That is if I can actually fall asleep

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>>35252346
i honestly don't consider myself gay though, but its not like it matters I haven't had a romantic relationship in my life and that probably won't change. Could be just a porn fetish really, i quite heavily dislike gay pride stuff and all that

>>35252418
>not gay
>posts a webm of some bloke shoving a dildo in his arse
Sort yourself out, lad

>>35252439
well as I said i'm not fapping anymore so I'm making a somewhat concious effort.

isn't it possible someone could have a gay fetish but not actually be gay? people are into all sorts of wierd shit and don't pass that on to their "normal" lives.

would you rather someone fap to a girl shitting on someones face or a penis?

Rev up those fucking gas chambers lads ready to McFucking kill myself.

>>35252486
>gay fetish
What a wacky world we are living in

Had a dream I was in New Zealand for some reason.

>>35252486
BDSM isn't a sexual orientation, and regularly passes on to their IRL sex life

try again

>>35252523
I never said I wouldn't partake in gay acts irl though.

I'd never go to a gay club or gay event or anything though, i'm not that way inclined

desu not of that even matters anyway, i'm too much of a social cripple to ever have a sexual encounter or romantic experience

So I've cucked myself lads. My family is finally growing tired of me. I'm up til 8am these days but not allowed to move. The slightest noise wakes someone up and they yell at me. I don't have a door so when I put the light on it apparently wakes my little sister up, so I'm sitting in the dark. The walls are thin, so I can't put the PC or ps4 on because they're too loud and will wake someone up. I've been sat here for the last 4 hours on my phone browsing r9k. Panicked when the /britfeel/ thread closed. Was just sitting in darkness. Can't take this anymore desu. I have enough savings to move out, think I've gotta make the move. I am being treated as a child.

>>35252589
Why dont you just be awake during daytime? And why dont you have a door?

>>35252589
tell them to invest in ear plugs

everyone in my household is a heavy sleeper or awake all night so i've lucked out, they make a fuckload of noise if I try to sleep though

Daily reminder that if you are not a virgin or have friends you are failed normie, and not a robot.

>>35252618
We took the door out 10 years ago while redecorating the room. Haven't gotten around to replacing it yet. I'm used to it anyway. There's a blanket covering it and it's easy access, like a tent.

Oh and, I dunno. I'm unemployed atm. Whenever I have no obligations I naturally slip into this sleep pattern.

>>35252626
I have a big bag of them and offered them some but they just said they shouldn't have to wear them because i'm awake at a ridiculous time for no reason. I understand their point of view, but I feel as though they're overreacting to how loud I actually am just because they can.

>>35252629
I'd care if I needed your approval

>>35252686
Seems like they're trying to get you to leave by treating you like shit.

>>35252714
Just like something someone who legitimately doesn't care would say.

>looking at gyms
>all at least a 15-20 min drive away
>one with good reviews, closes at 8:30pm

what a fucking hole, I'd never make it in time on some days, such is living in a ~60k population town area

>>35252686
play some gay porn at a moderate volume and if they complain call them homophobic bigots

>>35252728
They don't want me to leave but they are enjoying treating me like shit.

>>35252738
>he replied so he cares!
m8

>>35252747
Ah, the old gay porn trick. Worth a shot.

Also, its shit the way 90% of gyms aren't 24/7. Going the gym after midnight would be perfect.

I thought we agreed not to have these threads anymore, Britbongs?

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>>35252797
I thought you agreed to fuck off mate

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>>35252797
Indeed we did, fellow British person! I can't comprehend why these fucking limeys- I mean, our fellow countrymen haven't done as "agreed" and thrown these threads in the trash- I mean, rubbish!

Now let us enjoy our traditional British dinner of corndogs baked in a bald eagle-shaped apple pie and celebrate the proud British holiday of July the 4th, when those noble Americans rightfully won their hard-earned independence from us! We certainly do miss them and wish they'd take us back.

Why do people hate on /britfeel/ so much? It's just one comfy thread amongst the sea of shit.

>>35252797
>>35253097
Something tells me your angry that your country tried to create a "feels" thread and it failed to take off.

face it, britain is the only place with enough of its own culture and humour to sustain a thread like this

I've seen multiple attempts at shit like swefeels and usafeels and they don't even reach 400 posts before dying and never being made again

>>35253097
Jealousy lad

>>35253118
>I've seen multiple attempts at shit like swefeels and usafeels
There was an Aussie/NZfeels the other day. Lurked for a bit but not sure how long it lasted.

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>flatmates friend started talking to me about healthy eating
>says that I'm clearly not eating healthily because I'm so skinny
>mfw he's eating a fucking rustlers

>>35253146
just because he's eating a rustlers doesn't mean he doesn't still eat healthily

>>35253139
I can't imagine NZfeel being any different to welshfeel
>tfw no sheepgf

>>35253146
you sound rustled

>>35253146
When will people learn that healthy eating and weight loss/gain are different things. Its just calories in/calories out.

>>35253161
I've seen him and his lot eat all sorts of rank shite. They basically live off of instant noodles.

>>35253139
I saw a danefeel a week or so ago. It got about 50 posts. The only other one I've seen even do remotely well was a polish feels thread. Although I haven't seen it since

>>35253146
>I'm so skinny
How skinny are we talking?

>>35253244
I'm 6ft but weigh about 10 stone

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>Freddo chocolate bar price increases to 30p

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39140434/freddo-chocolate-bar-price-increases-to-30p-causing-outrage-online

Time for this nation to die.

>>35253266
That's pretty skelly lad. But still pretty annoying for someone to give you a lecture.

>>35253180
>it's ok if all your calories come as fibre

>>35253267
Never bought a Freddo since the price increase. Penny sweets now require several pounds to buy an appreciable amount, it's disgusting.

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>>35253146
when I weighed 2 stone less than I do now I had the same shit even at the doctors

>go for some completely unrelated issue
>LOL U DONT WEIGH A LOT TRY PUTTING ON WEIGHT

spent my whole night watching random kpop videos.. what a waste of time. Tragic

>>35253367
>when I weighed 2 stone

What when you were under a year old?

>>35253380
>2 stone less than I do now

try reading the whole sentence

>>35253367
Spent mine listening to Girls Generation. There are worse fates desu.

>>35253401
Don't tell me what to do you underaged fatty.

>>35253483
>underage fatty
>im 23 and 10stone

>>35253508
>Frenchie tries to directly translate his message

It's 33 stone you monster.

>>35253566
You're not suggesting ebinaposter is a frogman, are you?

>6am
>can't sleep
I hate this

>>35251444
Fuck you and your trips OP, it's the middle of the night. We don't need a thread when there's nobody awake to post

>>35253919
Well, you're awake and so am I. So there are clearly people to post

>>35253919
I am also awake nigga.

>>35253946
>>35254016
It's 6am, of course people are awake now.

I meant at 03:28 when presumably the OP started having his panic attack about there not being a thread

>>35253891
I gave up trying to sleep. I just wait until I'm exhausted and let my sleep cycle go in circles.

Only an option if you're a NEET, but it's much better than lying in bed doing fuck all.

>>35253919
I'm a god damned night shift worker, what about MY britfeels?

>>35253919
Have you never heard of real NEET hours?

There's plenty of anons awake right now for a britfeel

>>35254097
How it seems to go for me is
>sleep too long one day
>can't get to sleep that night
>try and stay up to sort it out
>pass out at 4pm ish for about 4 to 5 hours
>can't sleep that night
>repeat
It's fucking fun

>>35254118
Real NEET hours is 11 to 3 in the daytime

These threads always run through the night. You'd know that if you weren't a DIRTY YANK IMPOSTOR

Want to spend all day getting drunk/high but also havent worked out in a few days. I can do both, right?

>>35254192
Didn't used to. You'd know that if you weren't a DIRTY /brit/ FAGGOT

>>35254378
You must be looking into the distant past if you're talking about a time where it wasn't the case, you FOREIGN DEVIL

>>35254170
This. Do I sleep now or stay awake and risk falling asleep mid day, cucking myself for good?

>>35254411
Perhaps. I do remember the good times, before the darkness fell upon /britfeel/, before this general became obsessed with (s)he who (s)hall not be named.

>>35254605
>before this general became obsessed with (s)he who (s)hall not be named
I don't see anyone act as if they gave a shit about that thing these days. Just modest contempt and majority indifference as most people try to avoid acknowledging it.

Then again, I'm not around during daytime /britfeel/, so perhaps that's why.

>>35254174
Fair point, though I'd argue 2300 to 1700 the next day are all NEET hours, as wagies lose them to sleep or work.

>>35254889
Nights and mornings have students though

The first E in NEET stands for education

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>>35251444

Mega wagecucking today, I'll leave the house at 7:30am, back at 8:30pm

Lads you gotta try these heat burst doriters

Breakfast of neet kings

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This is Ruth.

Ruth is 35 and has slept with around 200 men.

Ruth is currently having a huge existential crisis because she's realised she's damaged good and no one wants to wife her.

Ruth spends her time complaining about not being able to find a good man and hanging out with girls ten years younger than her.

Ruth seems to have accepted she's never going to have children and has bought a dog.

This is the future of all the sluts you know.

Be glad you arent Ruth.

>>35255182
Sluts are good. Just wish they'd slut it up with me.

>waaaaaaah women won't have sex with me
>hehe stupid roasty sluts
>why am I still a virgin waaaah
>don't you silly girls know that sex before marriage is a sin

Just give it a fucking rest already. Jesus christ can we keep this retardation out of britfeel

>>35255182
>copy and paste this comment into ten other videos and you'll never end up like Ruth

>>35255223
I'm not a virgin and I dont really care about being single. I'm just fascinated with this person and their fall. She's my oldest friend and it's interesting to see what happens to sluts when they reach that age.

>>35255248
>you have been visted by the Ageing Roastie of Despair.

>tfw order tpb comics from a new vendor on amazon and get a message saying.it can take until the 28th of march to arrive.

Fuxkinf somones getting a neg review when it arives. It said 3-5 days before i completed the order.

>>35255258
Are you one of the 200?

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>Thinking about what to give up for lent
>Realise lent started days ago
Might as well give up hope am I right lads?

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>>35255556
One off

REEEEEEEEEEEeeee

>>35255556
I am not. One of the few female friends I havent wanted to bang.

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>be me
>watching some anime
>they start talking in english
>my autistic ocd kicks in
>start thinking that I'm gonna forget english and I'm gonna live without communication
>start panicking
>take 5 sleeping pills
>wake up an hour later confused
I cant tell if I am legit retarded or not lads

>>35255781
>watching anime
You might be retarded lad

>>35255432

Book Depository or Wordery are the only two I use from Amazon.

>>35251444
Why do the Americans hate these threads so much all of a sudden, the hate only started a few months ago at best, old /r9k/ britfeel threads seemed like an established thing.

I mean it's not like we're cancer spreading all over this board like trapposters, we just stay in this thread but they complain about it, why?

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>>35255836
Why so meanie?

>>35255781
what was you watching lad. owt good?
think my weekends going to be couch and some animu. nice n comfy
ignore the meanies lad.

>>35255867
Some guys tried to start an /AmericaFeel/ thread but it didnt even reach 100 posts, maybe they're still butthurt about it

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Its crazy how sometimes the board is all self hate and sometime it's kind of self helpy, I think the mods have a dial or some shit (obviously not tho)

/britfeel/ was good when most the board had pepe as the op.

>>35251474
on the straight and narrow now and thoughts are clear might buy a kettle bell later they seem to be really good for home personal training alone.

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>>35255867
dey hate us cus dey aint us

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had an interaction with ayy lmaos last night lads.

>in bed about 2am
>hear cold echoey voice in my head
>feminine voice
>talking to me
>not comfy at all
thats the best way to explain it

anyway I screamed like my life depended on it, or at least I think I did, skip to 5am and i'm hiding behind my hands refusing to look up. then I went on /pol/ and forgot about it then went to bed now im up. dats it

>>35255926
>starting a thread specifically for Americans on an American forum
You know it just doesn't make any sense.

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>>35255922
I was watching some yuru yuri season 3, 10/10 art style. Its moe as fuck lad, so if you dont like moe shit dont watch. Its one of those anime that you just watch because you're bored and want to see kawaii waifus

>>35256111
checked
kek, that's what i'm checking out this weekend lad
i have already been told of it being cute and fluffy. but that's ok
but thanks for the advice lad

>>35256075
>American forum
What? This is a Tibetan knot tying forum

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>>35256285
Love me good Tibetan Endless knot tbqh

Back on drinking just popped to sainsburys got another 4 cans of kopparberg, good times lads.

>>35256430
Can already taste it. Only 8 more hours of suffering before it

>>35252589
>I don't have a door
Louie?

Yesterday Mum asked me if I could drop her off at some place to have a meal with friends. I said sure cause it wont take long and will be alright.

This morning she tells me I'm actually picking up two of her friends aswell. Fuck.

>>35256492
hope it goes quick for you lad. i've some waiting in fridge for later this aft.
it's the splif i'm looking foward to more than owt. this morns wake and bake has already worn off. only 3 hrs left for me desu

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>>35253118
>Something tells me your angry that your country tried to create a "feels" thread and it failed to take off.
The absolute state of that Amerifeels debacle!

300 posts of "What state are you guys in?" and just people listing states. Did it even make it to a second thread?

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>>35254378
These days we have a crack team of NEETs and a handful of insomniac wagies suffering for the cause of 24 hour /britfeel/ coverage

>find girl with the same nerdy and obscure hobbies as me
>she's a poo in the loo

What do?

>>35256577
How many generations removed from shitting in the streets is she?

>>35256562
and wagies that get up early. i've done a few when i've been on the early shift

>>35256577
who cares. get that vindaloo pussy.

>>35256606
Yeah. I generally leave my last post at like 1am then first post at 7.30am

>>35256595
First generation but she's still very dirty.

>>35256607
I'm still kind of disgusted by them, I think my family would also be pretty freaked out if I bought one of them home.

Also I haven't actually met her in person but I just like listening to her talk about the nerd stuff we're both into on youtube.

Any femanons (female) want to work with a male talent today?

>>35256618
for me it depends on my shift pattern
earlies i'll post about 04: 45 when i'm up having a splif
lates i can be up till 05:30

>tfw my switch isn't out for delivery yet

>>35256540
Last time this happened I actually felt bad for them and tried to show then what to do. Asked them all what they had for din dins, but no one replied. They just kept talking about politics. Absolutely disgraceful

>>35256699
americans have trouble connecting with each other

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Good morning, /britfeel/!

How are you feeling this morning?
What have you got plans?
What have you night owls been up to?

Hope you are all feeling great and the night watch have had a good night! Enjoy whatever you get up to today too!

Can't wait for work to be over, plenty of comfy rest awaits.

>>35252797
Look lads, an immigrant! Lets kick the shit out of him!

>>35256665
>switch
What games did you get with it?

I think the Switch will be good for Nintendo, Mario Odyssey and the new Zelda look pretty great. They ripped off Sonic Adventures with Odyssey though

>>35256813
just zelda, bomberman was sold out on amazon so ill pick that up at some point, also going to get snipperclips from the eshop

>>35256739
feeling like shit desu. have been all week.
looking forward to finishing at 12 and going home. been getting home and just collapsing on floor curled up in a ball and falling asleep. looking forward to that. might see if i can make it to the couch today.
hope your days good lad.

>>35256644
Not a femanon but please elaborate.

>>35256834
I'm sorry to hear that, anon :(
Hope work goes quick for you!
And do me a favour? Make your way to your bed tonight!

Gotta leave for work but I hope you feel better soon.

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so the general contentious is grills / roasties are bad, what about the robots among them do you have and non-sexual feels for them?


Also is alcoholism just a fear of not being interesting, to the point of boring yourself to drink?

This is it lads, I'm moving out today. 30 more minutes and I'm off, I'm finally free.

My mother who I barely speak to did the whole "don't be a stranger" routine, it was annoying.

>>35257021
What kinda place you moving into?
Also are you by yourself or got a roommate?

Entire open office section is empty cause of a management meeting and people being off. Very nice.

>>35257021
You lucky lad. Enjoy it

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>lecture at 10
>set alarm for 8 and make it repeat
>wake up at 9:55 with the alarm still going off

How do I fucking stop doing this its fucking annoying

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I went to meet my ex (and obviously be lewd with him) for the first time without being secretive about it.

I think my roommates kind of hate me over it.

>Playing Dishonoured
>Get to the part where you sneak into the brothel
>Sneak up on and kill one of the prostitutes
>Get erect

Whats happening to me lads

Got a free record cause the discogs bloke fucked up so I'm pretty happy

First time visiting UK lads (I'm in London)
ffs though, a bus from Stansted to Stratford was 11 pounds. The subway to my hotel was 4,90 pounds and it doesn't even give back change.

What the fuck lads, why is this city so damn expensive?

Also, anyone wanna grab a beer? I'm here till Sunday.

>>35257053

counting sheep simulates r.e.m and starts your mental rest sooner, do you have a lot on your mind?

>>35256929
no sexual feelings towards girls, i just want something warm, cuddly and female to watch anime and play comfy vidya with. heated blanket and hug pillow work btw
i chose alcoholism cause its cheap, legal and pretty much every shop sells booze. i dont think fear of being "not interesting" plays any part, who wants attention and the responisibiltys that come with that.
also its easyier to buy beer in bulk when you have no mates. fucking trying to find a dealer when you live alone and has no friends.

>>35257336

>What the fuck lads, why is this city so damn expensive?


Lmao, fuck off Yank

>>35257336
fuck that m8 i dont have the 10 for a round
pop down your local asda, 4 pints for a fiver, 3 9% ciders for a fiver
shit you're not even english that'd probly do you the weekend

>>35257336
Piece of advice for you lad, age of consent is 16 here *wink wink nudge nudge*

>>35257504
What's a yank, m8?

>>35257526
I understood nothing but I guess that was on purpose.

>>35257534
I knew that but I dunno what I have to gain from that. I doubt I can pick up any grills here. Or do you have any ideas how to manage that?

>>35257336
Id be happy to if youre white

>>35257581

What if I'm black?

>>35257570
nah m8 dont go to a pub, what you want is to find around 5 people getting drunk/stoned in their flat, take your 8 pack that you purchased for the price of 1 round( two drink, maybe 3) and get fucked. pubs have shit music, shit beer and you cant smoke inside.

>>35257614
Then I wouldn't want to elevate my already high risk of being stabbed in Londinistan.

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>lady at sainsburys said i had a young face as she checked my ID

th-thanks, pretty much done for the day now. could possibly die today and die happy

I'm watching grand torino. Haven't seen this film in a while. It's a classic.

>>35257729
>checked my ID
What booze did you get anon?

>>35257737
Some cheapo old moot ciders, for 1.80. Only got two as just want a buzz.

>>35257749
>just want a buzz.
But it's Friday, prime time for blacking out the misery m8

>>35257729
People just make fun of my iD I'm 14 in it becAuse I just used the passport photo

>>35257752
True, I guess i'll go out later and get some more. I forgot what day of the week it was if im honest.

>>35257753
Most people dont ask me anymore, I think its cause I look miserable but who knows.

>>35251474
How is the stretching going?

>>35257764
I get it like 50/50. I buy a lot of old man beers so they assume I'm older cause no-one underage is after stout

>>35257764
People don't ask me since I buy it so much kek

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3 quid at sainsburys atm, just bought some. They're okay, just a bit too fishy for cod but whatever. They come out the oven looking pretty good if im honest lads

>taking a shit at work
>light goes off
>have to sit there waving arms about on toilet

Got it back on though.

Lads, am looking for a picture.

One of a man crying a single tear, but in happiness.

It's not a real man

Thanks lads

GSTQ

>>35258020
Do you have a hairy arse? Fucking hate wiping now.

>>35258020
Kek, happened to me other day.

Happens a bit too much because shitposting

You lads ever feel like you're going to pass out when pushing out a poo?

Just had another funny turn lads. Like my brain rebooted and I had to lay down and let the wave of nausea pass.

I can't stop making one bad decision after another. How do I end the spiral.

>>35258294
Hold it in for a comfy feel anon

>>35258294
can't remember the last time I had a solid poo desu senpai, it just comes out like a cow-pat.

Probably got ibs but I'm hoping that if I ignore it eventually it will kill me

>third day of nofap
>lusting after my flatmate already
Help

>>35258342
>lusting after my flatmate already
Tell us more about this flatmate

>>35258342
Pakis out Abdul

>>35258349
She has a very nice arse which I can't stop admiring
>>35258359
What?

>have job
>get on well enough with some normie coworkers to get to know about them
>they're in their mid/late 20s
>they still live with their parents
It was quite a surprise, lads. What's going on with this country?

The foreign ones live together, 8 of them in one house. The english ones live with their parents. Madness.

>>35257729
that's not a compliment for a guy mate, in fact it's the exact polar opposite of what girls want in a guy

t.babyface

>>35258381
I've heard this story before, you're one step away from installing spycams and watching her shit so you can wank your little willy.

>>35257729
>tfw managed to buy alcohol the other day without being ID'd for the first time last week
>tfw the only reason I didn't get ID'd was because the nigger who served me was too lazy check

>>35254192
Well it didn't last night. The thread died which is why it had to be remade.
A break in an otherwise full month of threads.

>>35258409
Well the thing is I was raised properly by in a white conservative household by proper white conservative parents to create an un-perverted white conservative son. Unlike a certain paki who browses this board.

>>35258433
>raised properly
>admits to having masturbated

Pick one.

>>35258342
>living with attractive female flatmates
Fuck you, lad. You've got it easy. Grab that pussy and stop posting.

>>35258446
My parents were to prudent to tell me not to masturbate like good parents should. Mostly because they are both agnostic and don't want to "stifle" my views.

>>35258458
Her face is a bit ugly and as nice as she is, she seems damaged in a way.

>>35258471
You're not buying it, just putting your dick in it.

>>35258478
I'm the kind of person who would prefer to buy it before putting my dick in it.

Decided to write a book lads, finally do something productive with my life
maybe itll be shit but at least ill have done it, just need to think of an idea I can commit to now

>>35258526
Good luck getting one that hasn't had a dick put in it you cuck.

>>35258547
An autobiography?

>>35258547
please no self-helpping book came out of this board.

>>35258559
My life isnt interesting enough for that

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>>35258548
>calling me a cuck because I don't want to have premarital sex

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Two lovers entwined pass me by, and heaven knows I'm miserable nooooow

unsuprisingly not original

fuck it. time to get drunk.i'll give myself 4 hours of drinking then i'm having a sleeping tablet and knocking myself out

>>35258583
Unfortunately, it's the way society is now. If you get into a relationship with her and make it clear you don't want to fuck before marriage, she'll stay in that relationship but have a bit on the side.
Depending on how much of a cunt she is, she might say she was actually doing it for the good of the relationship, to resist the temptation of ruining your no-premarital dream.

Or maybe that's bullshit. But are you willing to roll those loaded dice?

>>35258664
>tfw money for booze
as soon as I know i can't drink in the evening the day just draws out

>>35258547
how about a book about a muslim immigrant who gets kicked out of university for being a pervert and ends up becoming a woman

>>35258583
There exist no women who share and uphold the same values.

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>dad works nights
>is trying to sleep
>semi detached house
>next door decides to install a new bedroom window
>bang bang bang zzzzzzzz crash
>site radio blaring at full blast outside his window
>dad bitches and complains about the noise
>won't actually go and tell them to keep the noise down

Who else has an unassertive pussy for a dad?

Is the guy who got his Nintendo Switch here?
Wondering if you're bored with it yet.

>>35258672
>But are you willing to roll those loaded dice?
No
>>35258702
At least not in the western world. I'm not interested in miscegenation though.

>>35258704
And what are they supposed to do about the noise anyway? Bang the nails in more gently, drill more slowly?

>>35258704
>install the window quietly you bloody cuckolds!

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>dreamt i had a qtp2t very affectionate girlfriend
>later in the dream it turns out she'd been fucking dennis from IASIP behind my back
getting cucked in my own dreams

>>35258721
>>35258733
Well they could turn the radio off or down, but my point is he won't even let them know he's got work tonight for some reason.

He's done this before after we had building work done and it had problems but he wouldn't give them a call about it. That was a year ago and he still hasn't dealt with it.

>>35258745
come here lad, come tell rabid rodger all about it. i am a shoulder you can cry on, lad.

>>35258720
But you are western.

>>35258826
Yeah, so I'm basically fucked on finding the perfect woman for me.

this new nintendo is SHITE

fecking SHITE

>>35258874
I heard it was pretty good. I'm not buying it anyway

>>35258848
but its kinda retarded to expect a women to have no had sex before marriage, or to even get married to a women before having sex with her. back in the day when people got married before sex its because women were forced into it, and they got married fairly quickly.

you cant even know if you even want to spend the rest of your life with someone until you have sex. sexual chemistry is a massive part of a relationship. fair enough if you dont want to have sex straight away but there is no need to wait until married.

>>35258874
there are only two games out. how can you even judge yet.

>tfw leftover biscuits from the management meeting for us plebs

Feels good

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>trying to no fap
>spent the last half hour sitting here with an erection
I don't want this

>>35256027

greentext story of the year right there lads

>>35258915
>spent the last half hour sitting here with an erection
How? Just...do something else.

>>35258938
I've been trying to ignore it by playing games. It's not working too well.

>>35258915
just stroke it a bit mate

>>35258915
you are litterally the dumbest poster i know

>>35258958
>you are litterally the dumbest poster i know
I doubt that

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>>35258915
Did someone say they have an erection?

>>35258711
still out for delivery

>>35258947
I find just stroking it but not being bothered to cum is nearly as pleasurable as finishing. Anyone know this feel?

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>>35258974
Go away, poofter. Shoo, fuck off.

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Anon I'm ready for my sexy time...

Over the course of the last three days I've had 7 hours sleep. Fell asleep standing up making toast and jam earlier. I hate my life and I want to die.

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>>35251474
Been using my onahole every night, its great and i dont think i would want to ever give it up.
>>35253367
>>35256739

Spent all night playing Eternal Crusade.... I really want to like it, its fun... but has so many issues that i just cant.

>>35258974
right here lad.

>>35258325
And again. Ffs I feel like I'm dying.

>>35258325
Are you on SSRI like the rest of us? If yes, then remember to take them, and at the same time remind other robots to take them also.
Brainzaps ARE a thing.

>>35259047
>Brainzaps
Can confirm. Fuck I hate those bastards.

>>35258686
i'm worse with weed desu. can't stand running out of that. might get back into home brewing. i made cider before you can buy kits cheap and make litres of the stuff.

the illuminati are after me. what should i do? i need help. im so scared. i hear them talking to when i was trying to sleep.

>>35255182
Would bang as long as the dog was watching.

there are actually people in this thread right now who still adhere to the christgod over their true saviour, the eternal agent of chaos Kek

>>35258993
Can't make me

>>35259018
Post bucci

lads how do you pronounce pucci is it pukki or pussi

>>35259118
Puchi

>>35258547

Please do the the "bitcoin" story.

>>35259118
POOCHEE
O
O
C
H
E
E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEV3PWNMjLA

I'm going to Ireland at the end of March. If Theresa may [TRIGGERS] article 50 before then will I need to get a visa to travel? Or just my passport like normal?

remember lads, betas are nothing new
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2949185/sainsburys-worker-22-has-dinner-date-with-elderly-widower-after-learning-he-has-no-friends-or-family-and-he-turns-up-with-flowers-and-his-best-suit/

>>35259191
UK and Ireland have a free travel agreement that isn't based on EU law, in theory it should stay intact

>>35259202
Sweet, thanks my dude

>wish me luck for when I meet my autistic qt robot friend

>>35259193
Oh wow,
The feels really ARE real.

>>35259216
read all about it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Travel_Area

>>35259193
someone should've told him she wasn't dtf
he probably wouldn't have bought her the flowers otherwise

>>35258047

Have you found it yet?

god save the queen

>>35259245
she still claimed he raped her

>>35259193
This is us in the future, lads. It doesn't look bright.

>>35259243
you are in violation of rule 7

>>35258909

its all mind games lad, how do you feel about working a bit harder to get first pick of the biscuits?

>>35259193
What could they possibly talk about?
>So lonely I like to wait at the door so I can force the mailman into a 10 second conversation
>Oh I guess that's like when Chad has me eat his arsehole before we fuck
>No, not really.

>>35259273
Whaat? I think I get what you're on about but not really

>>35259273
Do you not have grandparents?

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>went out metal detecting yesterday
>found a 100 year old silver plated spoon from Birmingham
>silver plating had worn off
>tfw stuck in East Devon

>>35259271
Not at all. They had to sit through a 2 hour meeting while I browsed 4chan and got biscuits

>>35259263
>implying i won't have killed myself by then

>>35259305
daddy found a richard the third coin just when he was working on his allotment

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Feel dreadful lads, felt a bit sick last night and had a runny nose. This morning my nose is fully blocked, I have a headache that is battering my skull, I was sick in the shower and now I'm just laying almost perfectly still on my recliner watching The Hunt with Mad Mikelsen, quality movie but I think I'd enjoy it more if I wasn't dying.

As a Brit living in an EU country, it feels good to know that my place here is secure because you'll never kick out all the poles.

>>35259320
doesn't sound good lad, hopefully it'll be flu and you'll be over the worse of it in a few days.
lemsip might help with the nose and headache

thinking about buying some xanax to help cope with my social anxiety. should I?

Sick of waking up to piss, lads.

Not even my own body wants to let me sleep in peace.

>>35259429
Have you had valium before? Start with that. Also dont. Benzos will fuck you up and are very addictive.

>>35259436
time to get the special pants, lad

>>35259429
Don't go for xanax right away

GPs are generally really stingy with it but if you explain your anxiety they should give you diazepam. Just be aware that benzos are addictive and it is a living hell getting off of them. I'd be on them everyday if I could but I only get them to help me fly.

>>35259440
>>35259461
dont listen to these, xanny bars are the only thing that keep me functioning day to day

>pre-ordered Zelda
>supposed to come today
>Amazon delayed it till the 7th for reasons
Fucked over by Amazon once again, JUST

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>>35251444
FUCKING HELL LADS HES ONLY GONE AND DONE IT

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39150569

>>35259474
>current year
>people still preorder games

>>35259062
I have considered doing home brews before what sort of prices do kits run?

>>35259479
If it's any consolation I'm not getting the Switch for it, I'm not THAT good a goy

>>35259193
You just know what a virtue signalling bitch she is. Getting someone to take a photo and mailing the Sun about it rather than just doing it and not trying to make a fuss.

>>35259477
always fucking suspicious of greggs lads, how can a coffee and bacon bun be so cheap? fucking poofs knew it

>>35259477
And they have the cheek to call me a racist.

>>35259477
Well fuck, where else am I going to get my pasties?

>>35259477
wtf i hate greggs now

>>35259505
what happened lad?
this is original

>Theresa May accuses SNP of "treating politics like a game" instead of focusing on improving public services
>public services
>that the tories cut billions of funding from with austerity measures after the financial crash
>while Theresa May treats politics like a game to privatise all our public sector services

You can't make this shit up lads

>>35259505
Why did they call you racist, lad?

>>35259516
>muh tories

>>35259516
>flower of scotland

>>35259516
I can't believe it either.

But pol hates the SNP and loves Brexit so expect to get a lot of snide comments from the hivemind.

>>35259477
wtf i love greggs now

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>>35259477

anti-racism scum

>>35259516
>>35259541
>people unironically defend the SNP
Top lel

Just ate two cheese slices like a fucking pig. deal with it faggots.

>>35259560
why are you rolling around in your own shit eating cheese lad?

>>35259477
wtf im neutral to greggs now

>>35259560
>He doesnt wrap grated cheese between 2 cheese slices and eat it like a sandwhich

Get on my level, pleb

Other than bitch about 'muh Independence' and ask for more refugees what do the SNP even do?

>>35259560
>plastic cheese
Fucking casual

>>35259558
>Top lel

Yep, that's the standard of debate I've come to expect.

>>35259569
after yesterdays britfeel burger bonanaza where i made burgers for the britfeel boys i had spare cheese slices, just ate two of them. d'ya wanna fight about it?

>>35259560
>Eating filthy yank 'cheese'

>>35259485
not that much really, i used to get cider kits off ebay ranging from 15-20 quid there are cheaper 1s though i think
you'll have to spend some cash first as you'll need to get a fermentation barrel, and i use demijohns as well. it is worth it though. cheap booze, yaay. and you can play about with the strength of it as well ;)

>>35259580
Never said I'd debate lad, shitting you up is entertaining enough

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>>35259477
>never had to go in a Greggs because there's always been a Birds instead

I know alot of /fit/ lurkers and posters post here so please help an anon out

is this an OK long term ottermode routine?
>fork putdowns
>planks
3 x 30s
>side planks
3 x 30s (each side)
>pushups
2 x 10 (of flat, incline and decline)
>pull ups
2 x 10
>leg raises (you dangle from a pull up bar and lift legs)
2 x 10
>cycling
15 minutes

>>35259320
big hug from me lad.

time for reduced sandwiches form the local coop.

>>35259576
Pretty much nothing, they're only so self important because they're over-represented by our shitty voting system

Half the votes of UKIP and 55 more seats, nice one :^)

>>35259585
just wanted to let you know them boggers were top notch mate, think next time ill bring bacon along instead of the onions

>>35259616
no problem lad, bring loadsa bacon too next time dont want them undesirables eating our burgers.

>>35259528
>>35259533
>>35259558

I enjoy hearing from you the next time you need to call the police that won't come or get a bed in a hospital of which there are none :^)

>>35259596
What's your body like now? Why not weight training?

>>35259596
Yeha that's perfect

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Reminder to Smoke lads.

Personal favourites are Holborn and Gold Drum!

>>35259592
>Shitting you up

when are you going to start?

>>35259648
got a pull up bar off my dad and don't want to spend money, currently manlet mode at 5'6" and about 9 and a half stone
>>35259649
you better not be bait posting me lad if my backs fucked at 40 you're the one taking the blame

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>>35259662

Drum is old man tier
Cutters Choice is where its at

>>35259662
I need to smoke more. Never gonna kill myself with it at this rate

>>35259603
The SNP only stands candidates in a small part of the UK though.

UKIP stands in over 10x more seats and only gets double the votes?

>sign up for JSA exactly a month ago
>still no bennies

When should I expect the good cash lads?

>>35259724

After you work 30 hours in tesco for your 53 bong a week

the pain in my testicle has gone down lads, so thats nice

https://youtu.be/PdRWGMyeSYY

>Americans

>>35259748
testicular torision

Your ball's fucking dead.

>>35251474
dont forget to ask

>>35259767
I knew a guy on a forum who deliberately killed his balls by injecting a tiny amount of vodka into them every day.

>>35259761
>listen to that
>keeps shouting
Wow, americans really are thick

>>35259773
I don't know why anyone would harm their precious jewels.

>>35259782

I'm jelly he knows what makes him happy and he found it

Hello lads

I just woke up with an awful headache and a feeling that today is going to be awful

How's everyone else doing

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>plastic beach is 7 years old today
And yet still no new album.

>>35259806
He's listening out for thundersnow but waits for the flash and then just shouts over the thunder.

>>35259783
He had a fetish for being a eunuch and he let it take over his whole life.

The sad thing is that after he killed his balls, he killed his sex drive. So he had dead balls and he didn't have the fetish anymore.

>>35259808

Hydrated and headache free. What you got planned for the rest of the day?

>>35259773
>>35259783
>>35259825

I really like having my balls beat and crushed, maybe just an evolution of a fetish... maybe i will do something like that one day hahaha.

>>35259815
new song is fucking trash too. such a shame.

>>35259808
>How's everyone else doing
Shit. I'm the anon who keeps posting about his brain shutting down. Having a few drink to chill me out.

>>35259835
I think it's the ultimate self-loathing fetish

You've sexualised destroying your ability to pass on your genes.

>>35259837
That's just a separate single that won't be part of the final album luckily. I was quite relieved when I heard that

>>35259773
I also knew a guy who did this

Man, I remember when the Gorillaz first came out, before ppl even knew it was silly Blur man.

>>35259835
Reminds me of the guy on /brit/ who wants Maisie to 'obliterate his spuds with an atomic nut banger'.

>tfw when you into niceness automatically and hate yourself because of it

>>35259833
Not sure. Gonna try picking up a copy of the new Zelda but it might be sold out. Still undecided.

>>35259871
he needs a fucking smack in his face with his anti-trump fear porn.

>>35259878
>tfw youre a manipulative ass who hates that he keeps manipulating people and wishes he'd be okay with just being himself

i am broke on the inside

>>35259866
Was his name Jon St. John?