/britfeel/ Lads weekend in Thailand when? Edition

Went to sainsburys got cider and ice cream edition.

2nd can at 10:51 edition.

Currently getting stood up by a recruiter for a job I don't even want.

luv u britfeel ;3

>>35234725
How many cans did you get?

Just planning to booze it all day? Got weed?

>>35234725
>cider
What brand? Fuck I havent gotten drunk in ages.

>>35234705
Out of date? It's so ancient, it's fucking mummified.

PULL YOUR SOCKS UP OP

>>35234643
How long have you been hiding your gayness? You fooled around with any cute boys?

Got a 20 quid Amazon voucher, any ideas?

Might buy some women's underwear.

>>35234781
>Might buy some women's underwear.
To wear or to fap into or both?

>>35234752
Was gunna get weed but nicely buzzed now. Some homeless bloke was gunna hook me up, my regular dealer has dissapeared.

>>35234757
Am babby got kopparberg pear cider, 4 cans for 4.50.

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well well well lads, looks like we've just stumbled across a /comfy/ little fishing village and an empty beach, you got ur swimming trunks on lads?

>>35234804
You'll have run out by lunchtime. What's your plan?

>>35234813
find a prossy to blow you, they're cheap abroad like 10quid for a quick blowie.

>>35234790

Bit of both desu. I threw out my old stuff in a fit of normiedom.

>>35234825
dont be silly mate they're cheaper than that, you can get em for free

>>35234820
Homeless friend says he sleeps behind tesco so I may waddle over there and just get a tenbag. I've stopped smoking weed recently though, used to smoke 3.5 in 2days and repeat every time I ran out. Loadsa dosh wasted. But might be tempted for a cheeky tenbag.

>>35234804
>Am babby got kopparberg pear cider, 4 cans for 4.50.
>not getting 8 cans of Strongbow for 7 quid

>>35234834
You a pantie thief? I used to do that back when I had friends.

>>35234857
Strongbow icky. Im just a little neet trying to get by in the comfiest way possible.

The comments on LBC's fb page whenever Sadiq Khan is on are pretty funny.

>>35234868

Yeah I was. I think I pushed it too far though, they must have noticed that their underwear went missing whever I came round.

>>35234868
I stole some panties from a female friend once in secondary school, I took them from her house and wore them on my head when I left. Ended up wearing them to school and showing her, good times desu.

>>35234897
Been there mate. Feel sick with shame whenever I think about it. Why I threw them out.

MAKING BURGERS LADS

WHO WANTS ONE?

I GOT SHITTY AMERICAN CHEESE AND ICEBURG LETTUCE THEYRE QUARTER POUNDERS GUNNA HAVE MAYO ON TOP TOMMY K ON THE BOTTOM

WHO WANTS ONE??

>>35234917
Yes mate lose the lettuce though.

>>35234917
ah gu on then lad, if i bring some onions along can we fry some up and put them on?

What are the best sexual asmr channels on youtube?

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>spent all day yesterday with a mate
>closest I've ever been with someone
>still too shy to initiate a conversation about the issues I have even though I want to talk about them
>feel like I come off as emotionless and boring because I'm too shy to talk about personal shit still

>>35234936
Alright lad setting it up now.

>>35234951
Sounds good lad, it's the only thing I havent got.

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Ben & Jerry's no longer 2.50 a tub at tescos.

It's over lads.

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SUCC MY PUCCI OUSSIDE HOW BAH DAH

>>35234989
Still 2.50 at sainsburys and iceland lad

>>35234959
there isn't any. just go on gonewild audio

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>>35234989

"come here Karen"

*SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFS*

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Anyone ever successfully got some succ off a mature lady? am 25, trying to get my pee pee wet from milf lips.

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>>35235013
>listening some of them with headphones

too lewd

TOO LEWD

>>35234962
I never talk about anything really personal with friends, It's easy for people to know too much about you in the modern world so only telling people stuff they need to know is a good way to operate in my opinion

Christ did all the retards just wake up at once?

>>35235048
try Fabswingers. I'm not even a looker and some milf asked me if I wanted to meet up with her. It seemed great until she said it would be with her partner as well at which point I declined

>>35235080
That's how I operate with basically everyone but this one guy is who I'd consider to be a legitimately close friend, he's really open about all kinds of personal shit and even though it's not traditionally in my nature I feel like I want to try and be open with him too since there is shit I do wish I had someone to talk to about, posting my problems on 4chan can only do so much

>>35234725
Sainsburys own brand cider actually tastes pretty good and it's 2 quid for 4 cans

just had a right sloppy wank lads

>>35235140
want me to lick up the mess lad?

Holly is looking sweet as fuck on This Morning today boys, that's my wank for the day sorted

>>35235101
I used to be much more open than I am now but when I was telling one person something and it was going around everyone that shook me up and I decided to stop telling people about my private life

Lads I got caught masturbating at work

I have a meeting with HR tomorrow about it. What are the chances of me getting the sack?

>over a thousand active rapists on the run in Britain

I'll let you guess who they are.

>>35235162
depends is the HR person female? if so you could just get succ'd.

>>35235162
100%
What were you even thinking?

>>35235162
How on earth did you get caught?

>>35235174
i give up, who are they?

>>35235158
It also helps that this one guy has no ties to any of the other people I know, so I don't have to worry about info passing around like that

>>35235207
Tories mate.

>>35235178
She is female but I've never met her before. The meeting is in head office and I've never been before.
>>35235185
>>35235187
I was wanking in the store room around the back of some crates. I've done it loads before, usually it would be no problem because I'd have time to put my dick away before someone could see if they came in. But this time my manager came in, and although I'd put my dick away, I'd just spunked and didn't have time to clean up, so there was spunk all over the floor and on one of the crates.

>>35235230
>not even catching the jizz in a tissue or something

did you want to get caught m8

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>>35235230
Jesus Christ lad you couldnt at least bash it in the toilets?

I don't want to go to work today, lads. Please don't make me.

>>35235286
tell them anon said you didnt have to go in today

>>35235286
you should build a den and hide in it

>>35235247
Not trying to brag here but I am a very heavy cummer and blow massive loads. It's not really possible to catch it in a tissue. It would get all over my hands and there's no sink in there. I prefer to just spunk on the floor and then wipe it up with a Kimberly Clark paper towel.
>>35235248
The toilets in the office are not suitable for wanking. The dividers between the cubicles are very high and very low. I don't even like to shit in there to be honest, no privacy hardly.

>>35235230
you literally fucking jizzed on boxes in the store room?
You're getting fired for sure anon, that shit's a health issue

>>35235295
>The toilets in the office are not suitable for wanking.
Neither is behind a crate.

>>35235290
not that guy but is it wrong if I keep thinking of just going into hiding for a while?

>>35235230

Another classic tale of a lovable /britfeel/ idiot.

>>35235303
Yeah it looks like it. Oh well, I don't really care. Will be good to become a neet for a while again.
>>35235313
I'd done it dozens of times before, no problem at all. It's at the other end of the room from the door so whenever I heard someone coming in I'd just pop my cock back in my trousers. But the timing was just really bad this time.

>>35235328
Are you a wanted man?

wheres the weirdest places you've wanked ur self off lads? i dont know if it counts as a wank but when i was doing my maths GCSE test at school id finished early and had my leg in a position where i could rub my cock against my thigh, kept doing it and eventually jizzed my self

>>35235101

You need to be more careful with exposing that kind of information about yourself in case people try to leverage you with it later on. The best policy is to reveal as little as possible and only when absolutely necessary.

>>35235344
In a field around about 11am, was laying down in the tall grass looking at the sky and had a wank, could hear kids walking their dogs nearby, came so hard.

Should i leave my neet cave and vote today lads?
Probally gonna spoil my vote if i do desu

>>35235340
not really. I mean I have a credit card to pay off but that's about it really. I just want to go off the radar for a while but I have to much shit going on to actually do that

>>35235328
no lad, im 24 and i built a cheeky little den near the alotments that nobody knows about

sometimes i go and buy a bunch of snacks, juice and beers from tesco, take my battery bank phone and laptop and chill in there for a few days

its comfy as fuck tbqh

>>35235335
Are you by any chance on the spectrum?

>>35235367
that sounds mint. what is your den, like a shed or something?

>>35235369
Not sure, could be. Do you think if I get a diagnosis I may be able to get out of being fired??

>>35235335
what was your manager's reaction?

>>35235369
Yes I have aspergers syndrome and I also have a-z flensburg depot disease, w5 variant.

>>35235417
Wouldnt talk too me or look in my eye. Basically told me to leave and then I got the letter for the HR meeting.

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>>35235404
>>35235432
who is the real one
oriental

>>35235453
I'm here
>>35235404
Not sure who this sperg is
>>35235432

So slept with a girl last night for the second time in my life but couldn't get aroused for long enough. Ended up with her just making a smelly mess in my bed. 0/10

Sticking to 2D in future
>clean
>never smells
>doesn't have to stay in the morning and use your towel
> don't have to buy it dinner

2D is truth. 3DPD ain't worth it

>>35235388
yeh its a shed tucked away in the tree lines practically impossible to see it, the roof was fucked and used to be a bit leaky (wasnt too bad since the trees covered it from most of the rain) so i decided to throw some tarpaulin over the roof which sorted that problem out

i have a little portable gas fire in there that kicks out some proper heat and i use candles for light cos i think its comfier than artificial light

>>35235433
i hope you're going to bring a union rep along to this meeting to help you to fight for your right to have a wank at work. people have 15 minute fag breaks all the time. why can't you have a wank break? if you have a high sex drive then technically it's a medical procedure.

the crates come into contact with all sorts of contaminants, your jizz is sterile and mostly bacteria-free compared to everything else that touches them.

last question. do you work with food?

>>35235485
yeah I once ate a girl out and she came in my mouth, it was hard to swallow all of it but at the end of it i just felt disgusted with myself.

>>35235096
>tfw sign up to a swingers site just because some anon mentions it

I can just tell this is gonna end with me sucking old man cock again

>>35235485
how did she make a smelly mess?

>>35235498
Yeah, I work on produce. Basically stack fruit all day.

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>>35235508
>sucking old man cock
>again

>>35235506
>>35235485

you must be gay. I've only had sex once and it was with a chubby prossie but i fucking loved it.

>>35235363
>vote
In what?

is there any escorts that'll let me fuck them without a condom? i want to experience real sex

>>35235568
Ni Assembly election

Lads I had a sex-fest with FOUR women and I can't seem to keep my hands to myself. But the problem is, I'm in love with a man.

is it gay if you think being in a relationship with another guy is interesting but the thought doesn't get you hard?

>>35235516
You cant be fucking real.

>>35235583
DUP and UUP are the only acceptable choices lad.

>>35235587
>I had a sex-fest with FOUR women
Maybe they can help you, because you dont belong here man. GTFO

>>35235591
Yeah it was stupid. But whatever if I lose this job I'll just find another.

>>35235588
I have the opposite problem mate. I find the idea of being in a relationship with another guy to be absolutely repulsive but I want to know what it feels like to be fucked.

I can't risk it though. The idea of some faggot lisping "I love you" to me is just horrendous.

I've been looking for a straight guy to fuck me but obviously that's tough to find.

>>35235588
What appeals to you about a gay relationship?

>>35235554
I think it'd be better if she was chubby bc I have preferences but alas; she's not.
>>35235514
It finished with my fingering her bc I wasn't aroused enough to into her (she fixed it by giving me a BJ but didn't pick up hints that I wanted to put a condom on and kept sucking.

Vaginal fluid smells.

>>35235529
yes that is what I wrote

>>35235628
>The idea of some faggot lisping "I love you" to me is just horrendous.
>imply most gays give a fuck about love and just want to bum lads

>>35235631
For some reason it just seems more interesting than a hetero relationship
I can't really explain it with logic because I don't think these feelings are grounded in logic

>>35235646
Am 25, would you give me the succ?

Odds work out evens get fucking drunk

>>35235644
>but didn't pick up hints that I wanted to put a condom on
you fuckwit, you're supposed to be assertive in that situation, you obviously didn't want to put a condom on enough

>>35235672
yes
I don't specifically target older guys, they're just the easiest prey, I'd suck anyone desu
location?

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>>35235720
Gloucestershire
pls come quick

>>35235702
nice one mate what you drinking?

m8s I need something, anything, that is 2 hours long that I can listen to on a long drive today

Any good podcasts?

>>35235732
midlands here, not all that far

kik/throwaway?

>>35235739
Guess a shit load of cider. Havent been drunk all this year. Think it's needed.

>>35235749
Ricky/Steve/Karl the XFM years

lovely sunny day here in Weston, might go for a walk on the beach

>>35235770
east midlands here mate, want to come and suck me off instead?

>>35235770
post skype ill add you :3

>>35235702
well that's a great result for you lad
enjoy the piss up

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>>35235790
STAHP RIGHT NOW

>>35235790
sure just post contact of some kind
>>35235792
I don't have skype anon

>>35235711
well I've only done this once before so forgive me for not being a fucking master at this shit!
>>35235711
And desu I didn't really want to put on a condom bc they're shit but I don't want a kid even more.

>guy offers to suck a willy
>thread lights up

>>35235506
>girl came in my mouth
Mate you swallowed her piss.

>>35235805
r u cewt? gunna make a kik in a second pls wait 4 me

>>35235805
whats ur kik lad

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>>35235827
stop this right now hes mine

>>35235823
I'm not super cute but I'm decent. I do much better with guys than girls

>>35235827
britanon21

>>35235833
there's plenty of me to go around

>>35235842
post face pls qt

why are you lads so fucking bent. am i the only one here who is 100% straight.

>>35235854
definitely not posting my face on /britfeel/

real question to anyone thats ever contactfagged on here, are there any decent looking lads posting here?

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Fuck lads, I didn't want to buy a Switch

>>35235861
literally nothing gay about getting your weenie succked by a lad mate.

Imagine meeting someone on Britfeel and sucking their sweaty, unwashed cock.

The thought turns my stomach. Imagine the awkwardness. Imagine the smegma.

>>35235490
that sounds comfy, would be perfect place to lay low for a while

>>35235871
that's the way to think of it lad
i'm not gay. but the lad sucking my dick might be

>>35235864
Why the fuck would someone who is good looking post here?

>>35235867
Press builds aren't representative of the proper game mate, wait a few days for people to play it properly then look at reviews

>Post still not here at 12:20
>Yesterday it came at 16:00

Is this normal?

>>35235864
I've met with a handful of guys and seen pics of like a dozen more. they tend to be fairly average, sometimes quite cute, but not handsome in a masculine or 'chad' type way.

>>35235864
>>35235896
Surprisingly yes, there's been a couple that i'd say were solid 7-8/10's

unfortunately they're usually straight though

>>35235867
As if review scores mean shit. Some of my favourite games got panned by criticts and need I remind you Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess (objectively BAD games) got 8's and 9's too.

>>35235867
>essentially paying 340 quid for one game
it's the wii and wii u all over again

>>35235864
>>35235864

I'm good looking but not gay. Soz lad.

>>35235935
Prove it. Timestamped pic right now.

The only person I've actually seen post his real face here is an ugly ginger cunt.

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>>35235926
>he didn't buy a Wii U solely for Bayonetta 2

H-heh pleb

did a right sticky poop lads, paper stuck to my ass when i wiped proper sticky

need a lad to lick me clean if possible

>>35235958
the nintendo cuck loads up mario maker once again and tells himself 'IT'S A PERFECTLY VALID CONSOLE'

>>35235948
I'm definitely not going to post my pic on here. You can choose to think I'm bull shitting

That ginger guy was a piss take, it wasn't a real guy. I reverse image searched his the pic. Do you really think that was serious lol. Someone was using fake pics and larping

>>35235875
Everyone seems to think we're in an anime full of cute twinks instead of alcoholic, mentally ill slobs.

I've posted my /fit/ body here before but cut the face out.

>>35236004
Im not an alcoholic I just like to get pissed up before midday.

>>35236003
He used timestamps, so he was real.

>>35236004
You'd be surprised lad, there's a few very cute robots

>>35236032
I could've been cute but then my hair started thinning last year, now I'm a mess, a mess!

>>35235999
Sadly I didn't even buy Paper Mario, I own 2 games on my Wii U and I've had it since launch. Bayonetta 2 and Xenoblade Chronicles X

>>35235961
Use baby wipes then dry with paper you fucking savage.

>>35236070
nah decided to watch this instead

http://www.incestflix.com/watch/holly-hendrix-daddy-fuck-my-ass-burning-angel

Been listening to Morrissey for hours. Recommend me something else.

>>35236003
when i was a degenerate working at a retail store i used to get blowjobs from this fat mess who was 16 years old, she used to lick my ass too. one day when i got home i took a shit and didnt wipe, made her lick me clean. good times.

>>35236029
No he didn't. I was the one that larped as him. I stopped because i got bored of it and I assumed people thought it was stupid and not funny. I randomly found the pic a while ago off Google images and saved it because i thought it was funny. I used to always say I was eating a chippy or asking for a rate. Was going to try forcing the meme but thought it was too retarded.

>boys desperate for the succ
>post kik
>no adds
>none of them post theirs

come ooonnnnnnnn

>>35236120
So you don't really have a big titted girlfriend you are going on holiday with?

>>35236127
tablet is out of charge, will you come to glos to give me succ if i charge?

>>35236138
I will succ literally any britfeel boy who will let me

>>35236156
i will let you but only for today if you can get here

>>35236156
I have horrible sores all over my cock. Will you suck me?

>>35236131
Nah lol. I thought everyone knew it was a mess about desu. I would of carried on if i knew people believed it.

>>35236156
would you let me fuck ur bum?

>>35236183
You did well mate. You were good at pretending to be triggered about people taking the piss out of gingers.

>>35236168
contact

>>35236182
are they oozing?

>>35236197
as long as you lube it

lads we should force a meme while wagies are at work then when they get home later we can make them feel like the odd ones out

Why are the majority of EU nationals in this country from Poland?

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are you tired?
.....do you think you need to ... sleep?

>>35236220
They're basically our Mexicans.

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well back from my presentation. turned out to be an audit of our factorys working ethics. thought i was lucky and it was 1 on 1 then the other 6 people walked in.
good job i did a proper crude waifu drawing on my arm. just kept rubbing that for comfort.
thought i'd give you lads a giggle and share

Fucks sake lads my mum has gotten into Scientology. This is a disaster for the family.

>>35236115
please tell me you're lying. i cant even get fat slags.

>>35236231
It makes sense in the US because they share a border with Mexico. They only really share two borders, don't they. Poland is all the way on the other side of Europe. Why don't they go to Germany?

>>35236252
Not lieing lad, she was so submissive she didnt say anything about it. Eventually she threatened to kill herself cause I "messed with her mind" too much. I got her fired too.

>>35236156
Have you no pride?

>>35236261
It's a much better move to learn English than learn German

>>35235867
>bored of open world meme games
>so are other people
>they are literally all the same
>hopefully it dies out soon like WW2 shooters did when the market was saturated as fuck
>this comes out
>10/10 across the board
>devs are now going to be climbing all over this shit and producing even more open world meme games to compete

Thanks Nintendo, you've made the cancer progress to stage 4.

>want to watch video, plays in like super fast forward for 2 secs and then buffers
>huh ok try to watch the same video on a different site, same thing
>huh ok try multiple videos on different sites, same thing
>ok whatever, i've had my pc in hibernate for like a week now, maybe it's that
>restart and reboot takes a lot longer than normal, as does sign
>sound settings are fucked up, easily fixed but why?
>videos play fine now
what just happened lads?

>>35236246
Dress up as an alien and whisper things into her ear as she sleeps.

>"Xenu commands you to give Anon 10 pooooouuuundssss OoOOooooo!"
>"Xenu recommends making [anon's favourite meal] for dinner toniiiiiiIiIIiiighhhHHHhtt!"

>>35236280
I confronted her about the Xenu thing and she said that it's all lies people tell about it

She was laughing in my face for "believing everything I read on the internet"

>>35236298
No offence but your mum sounds like a right plonker, lad.

>>35236298
Hide your money anon, anything of value or any savings they have fucking hide it all.

Scientology is nothing but a scame to get money out of people.

>>35236261
It's because other countries had transitional restrictions on movement from Poland when they joined the EU and we didn't. So we were pretty much the only developed nation they could go to from day dot.

>>35236385
We save them from the germans and that's how they choose to historically repay us. By flooding out country and stealing our money just because it was easier than the rest of europe.

>>35236385
That isn't true at all lad.

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>>35236234
That's really cute, Sneklad.

>>35236298
Your mother is a smart lady, you should show her some respect.

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I weighed myself for the first time in years. I'm 47kg, is that good?

>>35236410
They mostly work shit jobs and pay their way. They are a million times more desirable than benefit leeches.

>>35236276
sounds like someone has been fiddling with your video or audio drivers, you may have a RAT on your PC (a muzzie may be using your computer for illegal intent)

>>35236234
Get a tattoo of her if you really love her.

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>>35234705
I think I've fucked the interview.
>What do you do in your spare time?
I couldn't say anything, it's not like I could tell them that I create and post racist frogs on a chink cartoon forum.
Why do they need to know what I do in my spare time anyway? I fucking hate interviews.

>>35236476
HE WAS PUSHED

>>35236320
She's not usually so stupid, but she's been vulnerable since my dad's heart attack when he was meant to be working away.
>>35236358
I know lad. She doesn't have access to anything of mine. But she has plenty of her own money.

>>35236465
don't panic me lad

>tfw got the switch and the special edition of zelda preordered
>tfw always throw away my money on vidya

;_;

>>35236508
How's your amiibo collection coming?

>>35236508
You won't regret it lad. It's going to be the game of the decade.

>>35236519
squid girl, boy, inkling, lucina, wolf link, haven't even opened any of them kek

>>35236487
Just don't let that cult take advantage of your mother while she's vulnerable.

Grief can severely cloud one's judgement.

>>35236508
I want a switch just for Xenoblade Chronicles 2

>>35236460
Seems pretty fat desu, eat more dust

>>35236533
I'll try lad.

Been trying to support my dad but it's hard with the revelations and his illness all coming at once.

>>35235911
It's normal to get the post in the working day lad. The postman can't do everything at the same time.

>>35236536
Is it an actual prequel to Xenoblade Chronicles or are they just becoming Nintendo's Final Fantasy?
Wouldn't explain X though.

>>35236536
with the recent experience monolith has got from xcx and helping with parts of botw, i think 2 will be incredible

>>35236461
But they don't pay their way. The work min-wage jobs that don't pay tax. Then they send part of their money back to their family in Poland and save the rest to take back with them.
That is literally taking money out of the country. We don't recoup enough money from VAT from shit they buy.

>>35236566
You still pay tax on minimum wage.

Also a lot of poles are builders, plumbers, electricians etc who earn more than minimum wage.

>>35236558
It's a direct sequel

>>35236594
But Shulk is literally a God.

>>35236558
It has the Muh-nado in it, so I guess it's a sequel.

>>35236604
>>35236594
Looks like I'm buying a Switch after all.
Fucking hell.

>>35236603
It's a new character

woopsies lads think anony might have taken a few too many tablets!!

>>35236228
I'd sleep if I had something to get up to.

Evens for a 'nip' of whisky lads

>>35236726
Thank you kek. <3

>>35236110
Mac Demarco
Tame impala
Busted
Pink floyd

love you lads thanks for being there for me

>>35236764
I'm here for memes.

>>35236779
as long as ur happy mate

>>35236764
Anytime boyo

>>35236754
There's variety if nowt else. Ta

>>35236672
what you on lad
owt good?

Xenoblade Chronicles was fucking gay. The voice acting and dialogue was the most cringy thing ever.

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>tfw you had to go to the naughty wall for calling someone a gaylord in junior school

>>35236809
love the insult gaylord desu, always have

>>35236805
Agreed. It was queer. All the characters sounded and acted gay.

>>35236801
usually just tramadol but managed to get some bars of xan off the DW getting a bit carried away with them tbhonest

whag about you lad?

>tfw botw and bloodborne will be the games of this generation

thank you japan

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>this is the kind of cringy shit redditors are impressed by

>>35236805
Wrong. The voice acting was great and the story was superb. See:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0Gz18wFCDg

>>35236779

>when stormzy dropped by for a chat

https://youtu.be/dFOErVWlsxg

2 hours to the DOC appointment moved the furniture around in my room and feels good lads.

>>35236832
For sale: N64 controller, never used

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>>35236832

Hate this. I saw pic related on normiebook the other week.

Feeling comfy right now lads. This is the life eh lads.

>>35236832
>Mario Kart in the console
>deck isn't even switched on
>widescreen of a game that doesn't exist

Fucking who made this?

>>35236832
>>35236881
what the fuck is this shit, nuke normies

>>35236887

At least she knows how to hold the controller.

>>35236900
the fag on the right can't though fucking hell

>Out for the sisters birthday
>Pub lunch
>Mum promised the family wouldn't grill me on dropping out of uni because "it's not all about you"
>Get to pub, meet family
>It's about me
>Sister clearly cheesed I'm stealing attention on her birthday
>I don't even want it

I'm fuckin buggered now lads

>>35236900
She doesn't.

>>35236915
He's holding it correctly. Thumb can go over the control stick or d-pad.

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Has anyone tried this out?
https://cncnet.org/red-alert
I want to know if you can still play the single player game?
How is the multiplayer?
Does anyone here play it on the reg?

I wonder how Nintendo are going to butcher the western release of Xenoblade this generation.

new neighbours offered me a job at his vape shop

never had a job before, never used a vape and have autism

im 24, he said he'll pay me 8 quid an hour 9-5 4 days a week, dont know if i feel comfortable enough leaving the house 4 days a week

The hangover horn is real today lads

>tfw no qt trap to fugg

>e-mail council about overpaid council tax
>autoresponse
>"We aim to reply to written enquiries within 10 working days"
>10 DAYS

Bureaucrats reeee

What kind of people do they have working doing this shit

>>35236983
im not a trap but you can fuck me if you like lad

>>35236978
>vape shop
>have autism
don't worry lad, you'll fit right in

>>35236991
Why can't I shake the feeling that you're a greasy, morbidly obese uggo?

>>35236832
better than the obsession of cuckshit this place has

>>35237010
sorry if thats ur thing, unfortunatelt im just a twinky puffster lad

>>35236856
Fucking gay, unconvincing voices.

>>35236983
>hangover horn
never even realised this was a thing

>tfw no money for beer tonight

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>>35236978
4 days a week is a sweet spot as it gives you enough money and 3 days to enjoy. I fucking wish I had that at my job, you'd be lucky to have a minimum of 5 days a week where I was, 6 was the standard.

>tfw knobs too big to be a decent trap

life is suffering

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You guys ready for the best movie of the year?

>>35237023
How many STIs do you have? Something has to be amiss if you're so easy with your favours.

>>35237059
get it locked up lad, it'll shrink it

>>35236822
just weed and beer for me senpai. got temazapam codeine and some other tablets at home.
just leaving slavery bout to go get stoned

>>35237093
good lad, enjoy it

anyone ever tried sprinkling morpheine into a spliff? fucking great stuff

>>35237071
nothing wrong with casual protected sex

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>>35235516
you fucking WHAT laddie

>>35236470
funny you should say that lad.
i want her wrapped round me with her head resting on my heart
would be a good few hundred bongs though.

>>35237115
Can I get Shipman to put a lethal dose in a spliff?

Spoke to mum again.

The lad at the scientology place has literally told her not to listen to me about anything. She told him that she has a son who spends a lot of time on the internet and he went on at her about how I know nothing. And every argument that I have against scientology she's going

>Yep Chris said that you'd say that
>Yes, Chris said you'd say that too. He really knows what type of person you are.

With a smug look on her face.

>>35237169
Didn't even realise it was a thing over here.

>>35237167
how would you smoke it though lad.

>>35237169
She's gone mate. She'll excommunicate you soon.

>>35237186
Yeah it's weird, ever since she's been dating Chris it's been like this.

He came over and didn't even talk too me, I'm slightly worried about it all.

>>35237169
All your mother wants is to become the best possible version of herself and realise her potential. What do you have to gain by trying to get in the way of that? There's nothing you need to be afraid of.

>>35235516
Sounds like a comfy lifestyle, pretty jelly

>>35237186
Yeah they have a place on Fawcett St in Sunderland, which is where she got roped in.
>>35237199
Hope she's not that far gone yet.
>>35237206
What the fuck are you talking about lad? She isn't "dating" Chris, he's just some lad from the scientology place. If you want to impersonate me at least be funny you cunt. And talk like someone from the UK.

>>35237223
She basically told me to stop posting on the internet. Got me a dianetics book and everything.

Chris has been going out with her for about 3 weeks. She said she's been floating the idea about moving to Los Angeles recently, to get closer to the Church. It's only been 3 weeks ffs.

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>>35236935

No one can shed any light on this for me?

why does it feel so much better to fart as you poo rather than just pooing?

>>35237262
Fuck off mate, she's still married to my dad.

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>>35236234
haha very nice lad.
>>35236460
I'm 81kg :^) big and strong boy.

Finished my essay just now, feeling amazing.... any cute bois about for a celebration :^)??>>35237291
i played it online with a friend a few times, i guess its pretty much freeware now like cnc1.

Update:

Mum says she's changing the broadband to a different provider. One where she can have more "control" over what I view.

I don't even understand this, she's also talking about letting Chris move in with us. Said I might have to move out soon, or start to accept the Church's teaching instead of making fun of them. Literally 3 weeks she's been dating Chris, this is fucking crazy lads.

Help!

>>35237329
take ur meme and piss off lad

>>35237329
Is your mum fit lad? ever got her to jerk you off?

forces of xenu have started to infiltrate /britfeel/.... be careful faithful, stay strong.

>>35235286
Tell them you wanked on the bananas

>>35237358
Before Chris she would kiss me on the head when I would go to sleep and tuck me in. Yes my mum is good looking but I don't think I'd ever try anything. I knew this day woul come, I just didn't know it would be a Scientologist.

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>>35237323
Is the single player included or is it like a stripped lightweight multiplayer thing only?

Mum just told me that Chris has a seven inch cock. She said "I bet that's bigger than your one!"

She's right. I feel deeply ashamed.

>>35237378
i remember it being multi only with custom hosting and net etc.... but there is full downloads for the single player games from cnc net afaik.

>>35237359
Sounds like something a body thetan would say.

>>35237405
>tfw you get XENU'D

>>35237405
Prove her wrong lad, show her how much of a monster you've got

>>35237463
Mine is 5 inches on a good day lad. I can't compete with Chris on that front.

>>35237488
should've been a girl

Does anyone else not understand the logic of people that put all their spare change into a money box or pot to try and save for a holiday or some shit?

Surely as you now don't have any spare change in your pockets you're just going to get more money out of a cash point.

So you're not actually saving any money.

Chris just came upstairs and punched me square in the nuts. Said I deserve it for being a non-believer, I'm thinking about pissing in the stew mum is making as a revenge.
I've already got some pee in a water bottle upstairs I just gotta find my oppurtunity.

>>35237557
Take care of the pennies and the pounds look after themselves

>>35237557
most people don't like having to pay for stuff with small change unless it's all they have.

>>35237560
Just take a e-meter reading and accept a free copy of dianetics, lad. You're full of impurities, you know

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>>35237488
Don't worry lad, you can always just add an inch and women wont know the difference because the lads always do that to sound more impressive

>>35237560
Then you'd just be pissing in your own dinner mate. Be sensible.

>>35237557
I stick some of it in my work draw so I can use it for bus fares if I have no changes. Means I don't have to take money out just for it

Mum caught me with the pee bottle and yelled at me. Chris basically told her it's him or me.

I'm really not sure what to do right now lads, everything is moving so fast. I'm worried about the future Chris will offer to my mum. He also keeps sending me pictures of his dick to my phone with the message "your mum sucks this for xenu". I was horrified.

Honestly I'm starting to think maybe it's the Thetans making me do this.

What do I do lads? Chris is 5ft 4 with a 7inch dick. It's intimidating being around him but my mum loves him!

I am very bored with nothing to do

Please enjoy these recently harvested britfeels and relive the moment when you first read them

>tfw remembering ur first cum
>tfw no hispanic communist gf
>tfw playing phantom hourglass
>tfw have minish cap on the 3DS
>tfw no bf to make pancakes for
>tfw Ian uploads a shooting comp
>tfw Obsessed with Elliot Rodger
>tfw you'll never face fuck this
>tfw no mummy to make me pancakes
>tfw Obsessed with Harold Shipman
>tfw nobody to cook pancakes for me
>tfw back to work after a week away
>tfw my Nokia 3510i is finally kill
>tfw looking on Ikea for single beds
>tfw 1% of harddrive space available
>tfw moving into new unfurnished flat
>tfw the only heatwave is in my pants
>tfw my ex is fucking my chad friend
>tfw I'm getting ready to snooze again
>tfw you'll never breed that snek pussy
>tfw you still have your high dad folder
>tfw no qt Aryan beauty wants to date me
>tfw in those deprived areas of Newcastle
>tfw the bleach is looking mighty drinkable
>tfw have to wear a belt with jeans
>tfw itchy but can't be arsed to take a bath
>tfw want to cry but my body doesn't want to
>tfw my English isn't good like what yours is
>tfw hear a rap rap rapping at my chamber door
>tfw you're somewhere between Robot and cyborg
>tfw got banned from another board for 4 months
>tfw Don will be remembered as Bleeding Anus man
>tfw I see myself becoming more autistic day by day
>tfw looking the account histories and seeing myself
>tfw looking the account histories when you get dubs
>tfw just found a country I have never even heard of
>tfw you'll never have those tits rested on your head
>tfw looking the account histories when the door rings
>tfw was going to put a thousand quid on trump winning
>tfw kid will end up a gender bender thanks to cbeebies
>tfw you'll never be a great man like Julianus Vatinius
>tfw you want to get your post but people are downstairs

>>35237557
I keep a pot of spare change around, that i empty my pockets into whenever I've used notes to buy something and got change back

But i'm not using it to save up. It's just useful to have around if you need to nip round to the paki shop for example.

>>35237557

It's time linear, hitting zero and getting more as a cycle. Anons like it because it all adds up.

>>35237632
It's a tricky situation lad I give you that. You ever thought about converting?

>>35237671
Maybe, but my psychiatrist Mr Goldberg says that Scientology is an evil cult, so I'm not sure...

>>35237690
Most of the time it's the media blowing things our of preportions. Why not talk to Chris about it?

>>35237643
tfw my tfw's aren't there

Everybody please ignore the chris posts in this thread. Actual Chris here, i just told anon that he's not allowed on this website www.4chan.org anymore, and he's just run off into his room. Just letting you all know that if you want to speak to him you will have to come round in real life like normal people.

>>35237671

welcome to /britfeel/ 2017 lads

>have you tried giving up and joining them

when do amazon usually ship stuff out, is there a cut off point during the day?

>>35236878
Nice reference mate. It was dare I say /underrated/

>>35237734
Get out of here you fucking midget and let anon back on the computer.

Fuck Chris and look into getting your mum sectioned, if nothing else but for the bantz lad.

>tfw co-worker says I look disheveled

>>35237746
With what method of shipping? On 1 day its usually quite late the night before

>>35237776
yeah 1 day, thanks

Anon here, Chris basically kicked me off the computer, but I'm posting through my mobile. He said he's going to get his "friends" Dan and Roger round to "sort me out". I'm not sure what to do anymore, I've basically locked myself in my room. I can hear him yelling and stomping around telling my Mum I need to be "cleansed".

I don't know what to do anymore lads.

>>35237759
well is there truth in that comment?

When I wake up my breath always smells like death. Like it's disgusting how bad it smells. Anyway to fix this? I brush my teeth twice a day.

>>35237808
give up, you're boring me now

>>35237830
its called morning breath lad, everyone gets it

>>35237830
u a stinky mouth boy

>>35237808
Do you think you can craft some form of weapon to defend yourself with?

Dan and Rodger here. What do you lads reckon about walkers. Has the recipe changed or have we just changed. They just don't taste the same as they used to. Went the shop the other day and saw Freddie were 30p.

>>35237836
This is real life Sir.

>>35237850
Maybe, my Dad bought me some Crayola Model Clay a few years ago before he passed away, I've toyed around with the idea of making some sort of shiv with it before but I'm not too sure how effective it could be. I do have my piss bottles stacked up though.

I've just seen Dan and Rodger get here, they're smaller than Chris possibly about 5ft 2. They're muscley though and I can see their crotch buldges from my bedroom window

I'm worried about what they're going to do to me mum, I think I heard the word "cockroast" tossed around.

>>35237864
>freddie
you're cover is blown lad

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He's a pic I just took of them

>>35237813
Possibly. I might have forgotten to brush my hair this morning

>>35237864
I dunno lad but I went down to the paki shop the other day and I wasn't sure whether to get Welch's Grape Soda or get some Kool-Aid and mix it up myself.

Then when I got to the crisps I wasn't sure whether to get Flamin' Hot Cheetos or Dinamita Doritos.

>other than being coloured, he was just like a white man
What did my granddad mean by this?

>>35237864
>freddie
Live sentence for you lad.

>>35236726
Just swallowed me 'nip' o whisky lads. Feeling a bit tipsy desu and most /comfy/.

If 'odds', Kek grants me permission to swallow a bottle o wine

>>35238113
tfw when i never really knew either of my grandfathers and missed out on their casual racism

>>35237169
Tell Chris i want him a fight

I'm doing this for lad. I'm not having one of the boys losing their mum over this bollocks. I used to be good friends with an older women that was brainwashed by a cult and she ended up betraying everyone for her beliefs. I'm here if you want help.

Last day at home before I move out lads

It's funny, I've wanted to get away since as long as I can remember. It's taken so long to happen though the angsty kid phase is over and I just wanna leave. I don't feel anything towards my family anymore, I'll be glad that I never have to see them again though.

Took 8 years of NEETdom but I'm finally going to be rid of them all.

Been away from the thread for a bit, did those faggots hook up?

>>35238163
>tfw your grandfather left your grandmother for a gold digging nigerian woman and started referred to black people as "coloured people"

>>35238205
which ones lad? there's a few here now

>>35238172
Dan and Rodger here. You won't make it past us, give up now if you want to live.

>>35238158
unlucky, lad. just the nip o whiskey for you

Can I get some good luck lads

I might be getting 500 quid today or soon and that means I won't be homeless

Just wish me luck that this happens lads

>>35238248
>tfw never got less than 1k in 20s in my wallet

fuckin hell lad how are you so broke

>>35238248
You've made a mistake posting here. For you see, I am a bad lad. And I just purposely wished you bad luck. He he

>>35238244
Tempted to disobey Kek to be honest. What is the consequence?

Evens - Kek grants permission.

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>>35236764
bit late lad, but fucking love you as well

>>35238277
Well if you're so well off why don't you lend me 500 quid then

lost my job and now mummy says she's going to kick me out if i can't pay the rent i agreed to pay

>>35238282
Why would you do this to me bad lad D:
>>35238282

>>35238292
if you didn't plan on sticking to the roll then why fucking do it.

>>35238241
Let my boyfriend out and it won't come to physical combat, which is something you will regret. I'm a master of various martial arts and I can bench press 1000 pound, and I'm a Manlet.

>>35235732
>Gloucestershireanon

Holymoly

>>35238334
Best of three then.

Evens get.

>>35238366
you glos too lad?

>>35237830

the bad smell hides between your teeth and gums, gum health is underrated and often the cause of bad breath.

why are most gays really obnoxious?

why can't they just be normal but also homosexual?