When is the last time you got laid?

>>35215208
24 years ago when I was born.

>>35215208
My friends tell me I let a dude plow my ass at a party last year, but i was too drunk to have any memory of that party.

Last night , just got home two hours ago

Sunday night. Banged my fiancee in the shower. I will bang tonight for sure

>>35215208
>>35215320
>>35215335
>>35215515

Why do you even browse this board?

Original comment

>>35215208
6 Months ago. I need to find new gf...

>>35215224
>>35215280
>>35215320
>>35215335
>>35215515
>>35215522
>>35215528
A sausage is a cylindrical meat product
usually made from ground meat,
often pork, beef or veal, along with
salt, spices and other flavourings
and breadcrumbs, with a skin around
it. Typically, a sausage is formed
in a casing traditionally made from
intestine, but sometimes from synthetic
materials. Sausages that are sold
uncooked are usually cooked in many ways,
including pan-frying, broiling and
barbecuing. Some sausages are cooked
during processing and the casing may then be removed.

Sausage making is a traditional food
preservation technique. Sausages may
be preserved by curing, drying
(often in association with fermentation or
culturing, which can contribute to preservation),
smoking or freeezing.
Some cured or smoked sausages can be stored
without refrigeration. Most
fresh sausages must be refrigerated or
frozen until they are cooked.

There is a huge range of national and
regional varieties of sausages,
which differ by their flavouring or
spicing ingredients (garlic, peppers, wine, etc.),
the meat(s) used in them and their
manner of preparation.


Etymology


The word "sausage" was first used in
English in the mid-15th century,
spelled "sawsyge". [1]This word came
".from Old North French saussiche
(Modern French saucisse)". [2]The
French word "saussiche" came ".from Vulgar Latin
*salsica "sausage," from salsicus
"seasoned with salt," from Latin salsus [meaning] "salted"

History

Sausage making is an outcome of
efficient butchery. Traditionally, sausage
makers would salt various tissues
and organs such as scraps, organ
meats, blood,
and fat to help preserve them.
They would then stuff them into
tubular casings
made from the cleaned intestines
of the animal, producing the characteristic
cylindrical shape. Hence, sausages,
puddings, and salami are among the oldest
of prepared foods, whether cooked and
eaten immediately or dried to varying degrees.

>>35215208
2 weeks ago (it was my first time).
Now she doesn't want to see me anymore.

Sunday, she begged me to do it even though I was tired

>>35215554
fascinating
dropping some sausage knowledge up in this thread

Edward Felix Tudor-Pole[1] (born 6 December 1955) is an English musician, television presenter and actor. Originally gaining fame in the United Kingdom in the late 1970s as the lead singer of the punk rock band Tenpole Tudor, Tudor-Pole began an acting career following the group's split in 1982. Outside of his music career Tudor-Pole is probably best known in the UK as the presenter of the game show The Crystal Maze from 1993 to 1995 and in the US for his roles as Enaros in the 1997 fantasy film Kull the Conqueror and Mr. Borgin in The Harry Potter film series.

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>>35215554
>>35215608
keep it up lets see how much you can post

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1 Onward, Christian soldiers,
marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
going on before!
Christ, the royal Master,
leads against the foe;
Forward into battle,
see his banner go!

Refrain:
Onward, Christian soldiers,
marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
going on before!

2 At the sign of triumph
Satan's host doth flee;
On, then, Christian soldiers,
on to victory!
Hell's foundations quiver
at the shout of praise;
Brothers, lift your voices,
loud your anthems raise! [Refrain]

3 Like a mighty army
moves the church of God;
Brothers, we are treading
where the saints have trod;
We are not divided;
all one body we,
One in hope and doctrine,
one in charity. [Refrain]

4 Onward, then, ye people,
join our happy throng,
Blend with ours your voices
in the triumph song;
Glory, laud, and honor,
unto Christ the King;
This thro' countless ages
men and angels sing. [Refrain]

later this year will be 3 years since. lost it 3 years 28 days from this day, though.

>>35215208
About three days go. Getting laid this saturdy since i'll return to my dorm after this week too.

last week
idk if i really care that much, jacking off is easier
sex is a lot of work and doesn't really feel that much better, not to mention i've cum too quick the last couple of times

K. Asungba Sangtam is an Indian politician, industrialist, social worker and a former member of Lok Sabha.[1] He was a member of the 12th and 13th Lok Sabha representing Nagaland Lok Sabha constituency.[2][3]

Born on 27 July 1945 at Chare, a small village in Tuensang district of the Northeast Indian state of Nagaland to Hopongki, Sangtam did his early schooling at St. Edmund's School, Shillong (1962) and completed his pre-university course at St. Edmund's College, Shillong in 1964. He started his graduate degree from St. Stephen's College, Delhi and completed it in 1970 from the Fazl Ali College, Mokokchung in Nagaland.[4] Aligned with the Indian National Congress, he is a member of the Nagaland Pradesh Congress Committee, serving it as a joint secretary in 1987 and as a secretary in 1989. During his tenure as a member of Lok Sabha, he served as a member of the Committee on Communications and as a member of the Consultative Committee of the Ministry of Agriculture.[1] He also contested the general elections of 2004 and 2009, though unsuccessfully.[5] The Government of India awarded him the fourth highest civilian honour of the Padma Shri, in 2009, for his contributions to society.[6]

Sangtam, who is the president of the Baptist Church Trust Association (BCTA), Delhi, a partner organisation of the BMS World Mission,[7] is married to Yashila Asung and the couple has two sons and two daughters. He lives at Shamrock Dale at Mokokchung, in Nagaland.

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>>35215208
nev0r

>>35215705
>>35215643
>>35215608
>>35215554

Is this guy the most autistic poster in the history of /r9k/?

>>35215766

I think he's a frustrated virgin.

>>35215766
Probably

orig

Damn, wikiposting?
What is this, 2014?

>>35215766
Nah. Just the flavor of the week. Raging autists come and go all the time.

Last time I had sex regularly was around Autumn 2015. I only lost my virginity 1 year before that at age 21, and within that year I fucked 9 decent girls.

Still I've had the odd sleep around with some women I know, but I've been working hard out on a farm recently, so I don't really have time to go back to my local hometown. Problem is, is that in the last 9 months I've been hitting the booze and drinking on my own every night, turning me into an alcoholic degenerate who feels weak and hungover nearly everyday. Hence why I've not been in the mood in hitting on women in the last 9 months, but have instead been masturbating like a total fucking loser, and hardly socializing. In the last 9 months I've only fucked 1 girl, some Indian Poo qt.

Anyway, I've stopped drinking every night for the last 5 days now. Time to get back into my bright, confident 'chad' mode again.

If only p in v counts, 2 weeks ago. If blowjobs and titfucking count, 1 week ago. Gf was on her period then.

Yesterday in the shower with my wife. I didn't cum though, so it doesn't really count.

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>>35215208
>When is the last time you got laid?
never

>>35215208
November 30th. Day after the first date with new gf. Still haven't had sex with new gf though. She's a virgin.

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>>35215208
>>35215224
>>35215280
>>35215320
>>35215335
>>35215515
>>35215528
>>35215573
>>35215576
>>35215657
>>35215667
>>35215692
>>35216152
>>35216232
>>35217040
>>35217486

NORMIES OUT, IF YOUVE EVER TOUCHED A VAGINA IN YOUR LIFETIME YOU NEED TO GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35217486
Dude, that's 3 months without sex. You better start looking for a new gf if she's not giving it up soon.

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Never. But I lie about it so much, it may as well be last week.

>>35215766
I think it's funny

Better shit posting than normies bragging about sex, anyway

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>>35215208
Maybe a couple weeks ago? I live with my gf and kid, though and my kid can be kind of a cockblock.

>>35215208
Never.
original commento

>>35215643
fukc your dicfk with another dick

>>35215208
Never
>C-Section
;_;

>>35217585
Burning Man is a hell of a drug

>>35215208
The closest I got was about 3-4 years ago. I'm still a birgin tho

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>>35215208
New Year's, when I fucked my girlfriend silly in the hotel room we rented out for the night. I need to get another hotel room soon

>>35215643
You must be rolling in pussy

>>35215208

Sodomised my wife yesterday.

roughly 2 and a half years
im turning 21 this month

Monday. We had a quickie in the school bathroom, it was great.

>>35216152
Best of luck man, alcoholic is a wicked thing that wraps up before you now it. Nice job on the 5 days, even thats is suprisingly tough.

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>all the non-virgins and chads in this thread

GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD

>>35218161
nice fantasies going on here, Anon

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>>35215320
>>35215335
>>35215515
>>35215528
>>35215573
>>35215576
>implying
>>35215657
>>35215667
>>35216152
>>35216232
>>35217040
>>35217486
>>35217751
>>35218096
>>35218112
>>35218123
>>35218161

>all these claims

leave
now
and never come back

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>>35218593
You sound pretty salty. Here, unwind.

>>35215208
yesterday about 6pm. before that it was Sunday morning.

>>35219369
>get told to leave
>he must be definitely salty

hello, newfriend :^)

>>35215766
helo reddo

Getting some head right now as I type.

>>35219498
pic or no balls

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it's been about 6 months but i get a bj about every month

never
21 y/o khv

Lifeless little creatures
Prepared for the priest
Torn from the womb then seduced and consumed
Soil the stillborn
Harvested for pleasure and greed
Puncture the lungs of every being
Under three years of age
Twisted experiments to separate souls from flesh in an effort to dine upon what the lord has blessed
Will find a way to rape your spirit and implant my seed
Deep in the ether I shall forge a paradise of death and despair
Gigantic monuments that touch the clouds deliciously depict
The paedophilic necrophilic lust to force myself
Inside fallen children
I am a divine
Child defiler
Incestuous preaching liar
I will define
Fear and all that is unholy
The nursery is dimly lit as I now lurk among the cribs
Medical charts like paper tombstones
The cradle calls me in
As I mount the bassinet my cock erupts insanity
My visions impure their infantile features beckon to me
As I thrust I feel the immature soul leave through me
I remove myself
Her dead flesh is still sweating as I dig out her
Infantile intestines
Paedophiles draped in holy robes
Stillborn child limp and broken
Men of christ believing prophecies from a book of lies

RAPE
RAPE

Unjustified mistreating
Relentless bleeding and anal seeping

RAPE

I feel the soul leave through me
Her dead flesh is still sweating
As I dig out her infantile intestines

Soil the Stillborn
Soil the Stillborn
Soil the Stillborn

Fucked in the name of God
The cradle rocks as the wood begins to splinter
I shove my cock
Into this newborn infant's sphincter

NEWBORN PORN

>>35220001
>tldr i'm never losing my virginity

5 months ago. Glad I lost my virginity but I also learned that sex is not worth dealing with women tbqh

Never, and I'm not even a robot by present-/r9k/'s standards

>>35215208
So is there a story to this chick? Any idea on age? Is she legal?

Sunday

I have urges to throw the relationship away constantly. I just feel anger and resentment and want to leave and say nothing. This always happens. There is something wrong with me lmao.

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Friday I think.
Tomorrow another gal, and then Friday back to the one from last Friday.

protip: as soon as you have 3 or even just 2 fuck buddies, weekly routines are crucial. Otherwise you waste 2 hours a week just texting and planning your spontanous fuckings

>>35215208
like 5 years ago
and i decided not to break the dry spell by not fucking an ugly girl yesterday
hooray for standards!

>>35215208
All the people in this thread NEED TO LEAVE!

SAGE

>>35220240
>>has regular sex
get the fuck off my board normie

>>35220278
don't worry, Anon. Never trust anything on this website.

>>35220240
That's way too much of a waste of time imo.

Fucking more than 2 nights a week is detrimental to my sleep schedule as I work full time and go to school. Fucking into the night until 3am a couple nights a week and I'm already sleep deprived. I can't imagine doubling that with another fuck buddy.

>>35215208
8 hours ago
2637374779655896558

>>35215208
I've had a boy cum into every hole at least once for the last 3 nights. I'm giving up sex and fapping for Lent.

>>35220934
So both holes, every hole implies three.

uh, 23 years go.

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before you were born

i wish i were memeing

About a week ago.

Had sex with 17 grils total at 25.

four years ago, had two girls suck me but fap to much. one was on a lot of meds.

fucked some whore 2 years ago.

last time with someone who wanted to? 7.

might as well never have cause i don't see it happening any time in the near future.

on saturday. Mardi gras party. She was seriously a solid 8/10. Surprised myself. Went at it for probably 3 straight hours

Monday at 3 MST

if you call yourself a robot the only correct response to this is "never"

Me(male 30). Never.