/britfeel/

Waiting for my laptop to arrive, it's out for delivery from Leeds so it might be here in an hour or so

Gonna roll a spliff and play some Prof Layton for max comfy waiting times

>at work
>basement flooded
>phonelines down
>asked to give in mobile number for backup
>might have to talk to a customer
Shit.

>>35211997
>pizza and kebab for breakfast
Mad lad

How do you pretend to spend 35 hours a week job searching?

got my tramadol of alphabay :)

>>35212079
>35 hours a week
Fuck that's a lot of hours. Dread having to sign on again.

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post waifus

snek!

>>35212153
i dont know what that is because im a retard, but congrats anon

>>35212153
You're the anon who's necking a hundred pills a week?

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>>35212161

I don't think you're the original and bestsnekanon but okay

>>35212190
>You're the anon who's necking a hundred pills a week?

yeah searched grams for a US seller and paid off got the stronger strength 150mg x100 for 80 quid

>>35212161
How does it feel watching your waifu get cucked in the show shes from?

>listening to Last Podcast on the Left rip apart Elliot Rodgers

Lol

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Why are you still here?

Is it just to suffer?

>>35212042

Im sorry to hear that anon
Good luck today

>>35212246

If it's just me the silence then the darkness follows.

>>35212241
Ah I quite like LPOTL! Not seen many people that listen to it but it's very subjective humour I guess

what does it feel like to have a fat pulsating cock pumping cum into ur bumhole?

Did the lad that punched his ex in the park a few weeks back get arrested?

Why is this country such a shithole?

Who else wants to live in simpler times

>>35212310
you can move to africa if you want, live out in the wild

>>35212290
Tbh you can't really feel the cum itself but its still very hot knowing you're being filled with jizz, and the dick pounding your prostate feels fucking amazing

>>35211997

What do you think this song is about? there is a line where he could of used the work "crack" but he didn't, is that the secret to a good writing - dancing around what you want to say? Leaving the implication?

https://youtu.be/4sfhvxTZ0wo

>>35212246
>Why are you still here?
What else am I supposed to do while I'm waiting to die?

>>35212354
Doesnt seem to be overtly about drugs but it's Nick Cave so I'm sure that's part of it. Top tier dancing too.

I occasionally get reminded that I'm actually quite thick.

I'm trying to hack my Wii U right now, it's all written out in a step by step guide and I'm still struggling.

>>35212435
>I'm trying to hack my Wii U right now
For what purpose?

>>35212476
you're as thick as him

>>35212435
Can you pirate WiiU games yet? Or is still just for Wii games

>>35212485
I dont play vidya so my awareness on why you would need to hack a console is lacking.

>>35212476

So I can play Zelda early, mostly.

I also want to play Captain Toad for free.

I'm reading a Wikihow article about how to kiss.

Bit sad desu

>>35212214
i don't even watch it, i just like miia

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>tfw you want to get your post but people are downstairs

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>>35212530
Wikihow is hilarious. Read their article on how to do a high-five and laugh at the pictures, that'll cheer you up

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>>35212542
>need to get something to eat
>mum's friend is around

>>35212578
>need to get a towel from the airing cupboard in mum's room
>she's in there with a client

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>I want thing
>Other people in way
>I want to kill myself

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>>35212161

Mummy is asking me to visit home while I'm temporary NEET because "I have nothing better to do"

My dreams of uninterrupted shitposting, vidya and animes, crushed

Aw lads I'm still waiting for my parcel, come on Amazon get a move on. I've got food in the house and I need to go shopping but chances are my parcel will have arrived by then

>>35212625
Wait so what's the problem?

>>35212623
you live on your own despite being NEET?

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>>35211997

If no one else will keep Elliots memory alive, I will

>>35212640
>temporary NEET
ie he's not a neet at all and is just switching jobs

just found out that my only ever girlfriend who i broke up with 3 years ago is now an agency escort, why am i blaming my self for something that obviously isnt my fault? i feel like without intending to i played a part in the demise of her life as a civilized human and now shes selling sex

it feels weird lads.. i always thought only one person goes on the decline post break up but it looks like we both did

think im gonna get in bed and have a bit of a cry

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>>35212625
Worse is the Post Office and you find that blasted red slip on your floormat because it needs a signature so you travel across town to the depot and talk to that fat woman to get your package.

All because you dared to leave for a half hour to buy some food...

>>35212644
>not in education, employment or training
sounds neet to me

>>35212650

Lad, she was the escort type from the start.

Why did you split up anyway?

>>35212650
What's wrong with selling sex? Can you actually give a developed reason that doesn't involve "muh morality" or some incredibley ill-informed understanding of how STDs spread?

>>35212641
Great but do it somewhere else because he had very little to do with Britain.

>>35212633
It's a bit bigger than my letterbox lad

>>35212660
Oh god I hate Royal Mail I really do

>>35212679
Leave the door slightly open, the postman will leave it in the hall.

>>35212435

I've always wondered how someone finds out you have to click this 7 times on something to enter dev mode?

>i'm thinking of a android mass emailer tutorial i washed recently

>>35212675
it's icky

i'm a virgin and i still don't get the appeal

>>35212675
cuck

original x2

>>35212675
>What's wrong with selling sex?
Anyone that's actually fucking people for money is a totally fucked up mess of a human being. You have to be a special kind of shit to end up sucking dick for money.

Moving into a room I'm renting on Monday lads. Are there any do's and don'ts I should know about?

>>35212694
>>35212697
>>35212710
Lads these aren't arguments.

Anyone else really shit at buying new clothes?

I return 75% of the things I buy because I manage to find some sort of flaw in them. Half of the things I don't return I never wear anyway.

Fuck this shit lads.

>>35212644
>>35212663

Surely in the moment that you are between jobs you aren't technically in education, employment or training though?

>>35212650

now I really want to fuck your ex, linky? Or any robots ex and I'm not sure why.

>>35212713
DO take your own bedding and food
DON'T forget to introduce yourself to the neighbours

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R8 my breakfast lads

>>35212675
>can you give me a developed reason
>heh these totally reasonable arguments don't count though

>>35212665
we both ended up going to uni's opposite sides of the country and i decided that it was in both of our interests to end it in a civilized way rather than going through the inevitable break up when we realize traveling 400 miles every other weekend to see each other wasnt practical

the sad thing is i instantly regretted it cos i knew id probably never get another decent gf (she was defo above my standards) but i equally didnt want to ruin her uni experience and have us both awkwardly working around the distance factor while studying etc

the thing that upsets me the most is that she was one of the most down to earth genuine people iv ever met so the thought of her opting into a life like this is surprising.. something drastic must have happened during her time at uni

fuck me lads im proper disheartened

>>35212722
No, you need to be unenployed for 2 weeks and seeking work - ie actually be on JSA - to be classed as a NEET by the government.

In my opinion it doesn't count if you're moving between jobs since you're just moving between employment.

>>35212747
Yeah she found out she can sell herself for mega bucks and pay off her tuition.
About a third of girls do it.

>>35212717

Just get your mum to buy them for you

Who the hell shops for new clothes, what are you, a girl? Do you also like to go and get a manicure and spa treatment?

>>35212757
>About a third of girls do it.
>Source: my ass

>>35212538
can't like her that much if you don't even watch the show

>>35212538

>not watching you're waifu's show

And you call yourself a waifuposter

How many contacts on your phone do you have?

>10

>>35212814
1, my parents, but that's because everyone my age uses normiebook

>>35212795
>>35212812
i can't stoop so low as to watch anime lads

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>>35212161
>get to uni
>don't feel so hot
>violently diarrhoea for about 10 minutes
>nearly pass out in the toilet
>start retching but nothing come out
>attend the lecture as if nothing happened
What a fun life I live

>>35212860
i couldn't bring myself to ever take a shit in a public toilet

makes me feel ill thinking about it

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No one likes eggs?

>>35212768
>Just get your mum to buy them for you
>Who the hell shops for new clothes, what are you, a girl?

You haven't had mates since you were 14 have you

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>off work in 20 minutes
>already feel the despair of having to come in again in 12 hours

>>35212717
I only wear black jeans, varying shades of grey shirts and a black jacket. I'm a fat fuck so I don't care about the clothes I wear. Mostly into sneakers

>>35212900
get some flannel shirts lad, very comfy

>>35212929
I have a couple but I only wear them with chinos for special occasions

>>35212893
at least youre not black desu senpai

>>35212900
sneakers

fuck

off

u

yank

cunt

>>35212952
Trainers is for chav cunts, fuck off

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>>35212949
Yes this is true. Thank you kind anon

>>35211997
Guys I need help I can't be neet anymore.

I'm a uni dropout who's a fucking druggo waster. I have no identification for getting agency work, not even a sim card for my phone.

Mum's on the neetbux so if I apply my family will lose the house. I'm threatened with being homeless all the time. Best course now is killing myself, best ways to go?

sick of it all lads. I'm the anon who does English Literature and was the subject of a bunch of gossip among the course after a one-night stand.

I honestly feel like I'm developing a psychosis. last night, one of the members of the group gave me an earful for "not giving a shit" because I kept making excuses not to hang out with her over the last couple of weeks. She essentially bragged about attempting to OD on SSRI's (basically impossible and a meme suicide attempt), and yet tries to bully me into going clubbing with her almost every night of the week, giving me heart palpatations. She either fancies the pants off of me (would be odd considering she prattles on about this other lad), or thinks I'm her new best friend or something. It's unbelievable. She literally messages me round the clock about the most inane shit.

>>35212996
>Mum's on the neetbux so if I apply my family will lose the house.
Wait, how?

>>35213017
She sounds like an absolute nightmare. I'm gonna assume you're not interested in her? Why cant you just tell her you dont like clubs?

>>35212893
>NEET for 12 hours

enjoy it mate

>>35213017
Tell her to fuck off. You don't owe her a thing. You will never see them again after you qualify, and you don't even like them now.

>>35213017
Yousa normie now, bruv. You know what you have to do. Its been fun, yeah?

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>>35213041
that's not..you cant be neet for..


Okay lad I will

>>35213025
I'm living with special needs siblings in a council house, so she gets some help with the rent which she lost when I claimed. So I have nothing, torn between drowning or hanging for an hero desu

>>35212852
but you're saying you like her. your not making any sense here lad.
>slags off anime
>likes an anime character

>>35213017
Just fuck her, she's craving your attention and that "other lad" thing is just to see if you like her or not.

>>35213037
I've tried many times - she genuinely seems to have the mindset of an autist. I'll say "not tonight, wanted a quiet one" and she'll literally continue the conversation as if I said "yes", asking me where I'm pre-drinking and stuff, until I just stop replying. I just can't comprehend why she's so attached to me. I'm not interested in her in the slightest - it said it all when I suggested she watched a few documentaries about a new topic to expand her mind when she was feeling low and she said "I'm already smart enough".

>>35213047
Listen man, I didn't ask for this "n*rmie" shit to be thrust upon me. I got lucky the one time I went clubbing with uni people, and they've been trying to drag me into the mainstream by force ever since. I just want to play modded Jurassic Park Operation Genesis in my free time for god's sakes. I wasn't built for this.

>>35213017
Tell her the sex wasn't good and you can't be in a relationship with someone you aren't sexually attracted to. Also tell her you aren't interesting in being friends with women

>>35213134
I didn't have sex with her, it was someone else at the club. The night I pulled I was clubbing with her as a mate, because for the first time in a blue moon I felt like getting out there.

>subway doesnt do 3pound meal deal anymore

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Gonna redeem my points and never go back. Fuck paying 4 quid minimum for the worst sub

>>35213078
Miia is adorable

>>35213017
You're a fucking normie.
>drugs
>eng lit
>female friends

Get tae fuck.

>>35213208
They still do the 5 quid one right?

>>35213239

Don't know that one. Not upper-class like you f.a.m

Been using those 2 quid mcdonalds vouchers, but now i've run out. No cheap options left around me.

Even the stale chicken and chip shop raised their prices, more expensive than mcdonalds now. fucking brexit voters you ruined everything

>>35213281
5 quid for a foot long and a drink lad, the superior deal for a bennie scrounger

>>35213281
how about you eat proper food you mong

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Do your rubesty today, /britfeel/

>>35213281
>Even the stale chicken and chip shop raised their prices, more expensive than mcdonalds now. fucking brexit voters you ruined everything
that's just capitalism lad

>>35213239
Nope. The days of subway being a cheap alternative to McDs are long gone.

>>35213220
how do you know if you've not seen the show.
sounds like bullshit to me lad.

>>35213318
seen enough pics on here

Just had a funny turn lads. Felt like all the blood was rushing to my head and I was going to pass out. Manged to make it into bed where my thoughts were very disjointed and I felt nauseous. Not sure how long it lasted but still feeling the effects now.

>>35213384
So you dont know anything about her character? Her personality? Whats the point in obsessing over her then?

what happens if you miss a flight? do they wait for a bit? i fucking overslept, my flights at 2 and i was meant to get the taxi at half 11 (1 hour taxi)

im just in the taxi on my way to the airport now, this is my first ever time flying so i dont really understand what the fuck im meant to do had a look on heathrows website but cant see any numbers to call to tell them im gonna be a bit late

>>35213405
I don't obsess over her, I just like her being a snake

I guess it goes back to my fascination with His Dark Materials and the daemons as a manifestation of the soul

>>35213396
blood sugar crash, have a glass of coke/lemonade and a banana if you have

>>35213407
>do they wait for a bit?
Seriously? Of course not. They have a schedule to keep.

>>35213407
>what happens if you miss a flight? do they wait for a bit?

Fucking lel

>>35213407
>cant see any numbers to call to tell them im gonna be a bit late

holy fuck my sides, its an international flight anon not a fucking meeting

>>35213407
The only thing you can do is go to the check in and see what they say.

>>35213407

Yeah the flight schedule doesn't revolve around you m8

>>35213421
Thanks. I try to avoid sugar and stuff like that (trying to get /fit/). I've only had egg whites since I got up so that probably hasnt helped. It felt like doing ketamine and my brain is still a little wobbly.

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really want the daggerfall big box, is that pretentious because i've never actually played it?

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>>35213407
>/britfeel/ goes flying

Fucking kek

>>35213469
If you're a fan of the series I think it's fine. I've collected some pretty weird shit in my time though so you might want to get a second opinion.

>>35213297
5 quid for a footlong is daylight robbery.

You can get a fresh baked baguette in lidl for 50p, a whole jar of mayo for 70p, your choice of meat for 1.50 and lettuce to 50p. That's 3.20 for 150% of what you'd get in Subway.

>>35213407
>first time flying
>doesnt stay up all night feeling sick and worrying

>>35213501
>making food yourself is cheaper than having it made in front of you in 3 minutes
Shocking

>>35213407
The gates usually shut 20-30 minutes before the flight lad

>>35213501
Yeah lad let me just go to aldi for all those ingredients when I'm out. I'll spread the mayo on the bread with my fucking hands. Jesus christ.

Can't stand flying. I'm anxious and paranoid as it is, and all that extra scrutiny is no good. Couple that with the fact that I probably look shifty as fuck because of how nervous it makes me, and it's just not worth it.

>>35213518
u'd best be fucking kidding me nigger

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You guys make me laugh so fucking much. Bunch of lovable retards.

>>35213536
Where are you flying to? Is it just a solo holiday or what?

>>35213515
>>35213532
You can wait a few hours till you get home fat boys.

Fucking morons wasting money because "muh convenience". Subways a fucking scam, even more than most fast food chains. And anyway, it's a horrible place to get food. They have a set menu but still ask you tons of questions and make you practically shout what you want on your sandwhich when it gets busy. Very unrobot establishment.

>>35213469
only ever played skyrim

find it odd that TES is that old

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>you will never get on a plane with /britfeel/ for a lads holiday in zante

>>35213561
Not the anon going on holiday, just giving my two penneth. It does put me off leaving the country though.

>>35213562
>Very unrobot establishment.
Like my local kebab place.
>lamb meat and chips please
>any salad?
>any sauce?
>any salt and vinegar?
Nigger I'll let you know ffs

>>35213562
>he goes to subway during daylight

fuck off normie

>>35213548
I'm serious lad, security alone takes 20 minutes at least. They expect you get there a few hours early. They don't just let you walk on the plane

>>35213585
I've only been to subway twice in my life, and I wouldn't visit again if it had the last food on earth.

>>35213548
>>35213591
You have to check in and drop of your bags and all that shit. Why wouldnt you be extra on the ball if it's your first flight?

>>35213581
sounds like a fucking nightmare and a colossal waste of money

>>35213570
not him but i want to play some of the old elder scrolls games. dont have a computer in my room though. only got a shitty mac laptop that i got given for free off my university.

i used to have a gaming computer but it broke, and now i dont really have room for one :(

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tfw get banned with a static ip and actually have to wait 3 days

>>35212734

tumblr/rate my food

I'm the lad from last week who went to an interview after pulling an all nighter. Got the job kek, don't fucking know how, I was yawning all throughout the interview and had a mild panic attack

>>35213591
so what do i do then? im not even gonna be at heathrow til 1:20 my flights at 2.. that gives me 10 minutes to get to my gate before it closes? so basically my only hope now is to leg it through security?

>>35213636
Ok I'll head over there without delay fuck you though I don't have any friends or use social media and just wanted to show off my hobby

>>35213619
iv not got to check my bags in cos im just taking a small case that can go as hand luggage and i didnt get to bed til late last night was getting my passport and toiletries together and packing my case forgot to set my alarm and overslept an hoyr

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>>35213627
>fucking nightmare
Not with the britfeel boys at it with their shenanigans
>waste of money
We could fly there for like 70 quid depending when, and drink it up because everything will be dirt cheap, it'll be great

>>35213642
>my only hope now is to leg it through security

Fucking hell anon, whatever you do don't do this. They'll probably think you're a terrorist and shoot you

>>35213641
what kind of job was it? maybe you seemed intelligent regardless of the yawning or panic attack

>>35213642
>my only hope now is to leg it through security?
>/britfeel/ lad shot dead by airport security

>>35213670
What if I'm a total shithead when I'm drunk?

>>35212710

Maybe those 20 a pop crack whores who wander the streets but if a girl realises she can make a lot of money if she lets a few old men shag her for 100+ every day then why shouldn't she?

>>35213683
retail slave, thought they'd need me to be motivated or something since I'm going to be in customer service working with customers all the time. I think I got the job since I have experience and new all the answers to the questions though

>>35213687
i will tell have words with you, lad.

imagine if britfeel went to north korea.

>>35213687
No different than most people when they get drunk, just keep it directed to the normies and we'll be fine

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>>35213635
>tfw got banned from another board for 4 months
>>35213670
don't like drinking lad

>>35213703
>I think I got the job since I have experience and new all the answers to the questions though

probably why you got it. perhaps all the other interviewees were less capable than you.

>made some paki trying to scam me listen to dial up audio for 5 minutes

>>35213708
Lads week in Best Korea when?

>>35213635
Iktf, fucking hate it

It's always some trigger happy mod and they're all normies now anyway so you're fucked if you do anything even slightly out of line

>>35213719
>just keep it directed to the normies and we'll be fine

will probably cause a fight though. can you lads look after your selves? are you warriors? ive got some martial arts experience under my belt and i lift.

Anyone here ever had psychotic depression?

>>35213720
What did you do to get banned for so long?

>>35213708
Well my normal pattern is be anxious and very formal sober. Then I get a bit drunk and have a great time, and am pretty good to be around. Then I start getting loud and confrontational. This can include altercations.
>>35213719
Just point me at the normies at this phase and it will be fine. I'm pretty big and do martial arts so it usually is alright
After that I get emotional
Then delirious and psychotic
Then the next day I spend much of it in a hallucinatory terror
And by the evening it's party time again, oi oi!

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>>35213740
no but you lads would look after me wouldnt you?

I get very weird and insular when I'm drunk thanks to years of drinking alone and being depressed.

>>35213765
>wouldnt you?

i will lad. i will make sure no one bullies you.

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>>35213720
you can be the sober one who looks after everyone then, always need a designated driver
>>35213740
i've had a few fights at school and round pubs with loudmouth twats, but they always fight dirty so i've adapted to that

>>35213746
was just some bog standard shitpost

>>35213765
>>35213777
RDF reporting in.

>>35213754
>I'm pretty big and do martial arts so it usually is alright

what martial arts do you do? dodgy getting into fights if you martial arts, you might put someone in hospital

>>35213777
>>35213792
th-thanks lads

>got a phone interview
>don't really want the job but know I should do it anyway to boost my confidence
What do?

>>35213779
>, but they always fight dirty so i've adapted to that

i guess you can glass a cunt if you need to

>>35213754
>I'm a big guy (4U) who becomes potentially violent when drunk. you guys want to drink with me?

>>35213794
It's judo so it's fine. Good for stopping people hitting you too much (though because of MMA you learn to tank hits if you're a grappler) and really, you just shut them down. There's a chance you might break something, but certainly in terms of other people's perceptions, throws and joint locks don't seem as violent as punching them in the face I think. I mean, I've broken someone's arm only once so for the most part it's fine. People tend to cool off after a big uchi mata, for example. For whatever reason as well, people assume that if you grapple then you are physically incapable of striking. Balance disruption is number one, so that in mind I love opening with a headbutt. It doesn't hurt much but it's very disorienting and is therefore ideal for setting up a throw.

>>35213822
fart audibly, or leave some porn on audible volume in the background through the whole interview

>>35213822
use the buttons to bleep your swearing

Do you guys think flightanon is gonna make it?

Swore at the Dwp's automated line and it put me through to an advisor kek

>>35214026
I think he'll only just make it, maybe he got lucky and the flights been delayed too

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>>35214026
He never had a chance, desu-ne~

>>35214026
hes ded senpai, made a rookie mistake by going to sleep
you gotta stay up all night and sleep on the plane

>>35213850
nice. i kinda want to get into judo myself. judo is meant to be one of the most powerful martial arts in the streets because slamming someone on the group can really fuck someone up, and it usually easy to grab someone on the streets due to the clothes they wear, and people dont expect it.

31 year old loser.

Not in a good place to be honest.

>>35214172
i feel sorry for you lad, mid 20s loser and i already feel like complete garabage

>Just realised it's been like 3 years since I've made out with someone and wasn't drunk
>Have completely forgotten how to do it

I miss the sensation of a kiss,

I've given up on trying to hack my Wii U, it's too hard.

>>35214168
I fucking love judo and the more robots I can encourage to get into it the better. It is an absolute heap of fun to do. The only thing to be aware of going in is that you WILL get injured at some point. You're quite right as well, it is an absolute pleasure driving someone into the floor. What you might not expect though is that for me at least, in training getting sent spiralling through the air by some girl who barely seems to have touched you also feels great. It really drives it home to you how great the style is.

>>35214229
I'm 19 and haven't even had my first kiss yet.

Apparently it's International Self-Injury Awareness Day. So have a good day, self-harmers.

>>35214235
yeah, i might get into it during the summer or something. i done boxing for a little while, and i have done jeet kune do. it does sound fun.

>>35214294
I really would have liked to do boxing myself; unfortunately though, because of epilepsy I'm not allowed. I've been hit in the head a fair few times and didn't died but basically no gym wants to take the risk which is fair enough considering. It would be selfish of me to join and lie about it too. I bet in-fighting has a similar feel to try and close the distance and go for upper body power throws (whereas the parallel to out-boxing would be tall-fags whose longer legs give them a much different arsenal focused on sweeps and trips).

>>35214271
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yap_Day

>>35214343
there might some gym that would train you for fitness but i doubt any would get you actual fights or would make you do proper sparring. boxing is good but i didnt really want to put the time in to it anymore. when i was doing the boxing a lot, i felt like i had no life, and i was getting bored of it as i knew i got into it at a late age, and i was never going to be good enough to compete at a high level, unless i literally didnt want a life outside boxing.

i think i would rather give a grappling martial arts a go for a little while if i was to do something else again.

>>35214343
I think boxing would be cool to do too, but the only gym near me that does it charges a lot of cash

>>35214271
Above all else it's Ash Wednesday.

>>35211997
>having the money to buy such things
I had toast

>>35214444
Resplendent quads anon. That's odd becase a big draw of both boxing and judo is that they're widespread, effective and cheap.

>>35214443
Yeah, I would feel much as though I was wasting my time doing all the conditioning, only never to fight. It bums me out knowing that I'll never be a high level competitor in judo as well so I can see why you left. I got a silver for the North at one point though, so that's cool. It was an Ippon as well (sort of like a 1hko if you like, awarded for landing a clean throw that grants an auto-win).

As I said before, grappling is so much fun. I hope you try it.

>>35214447
More like Ash Cash Wednesday

>>35213650

the rudeness come from jealously Tbh

Asked for an advance payment on me universal credits lads, ho long does it take for them to put it in my bank account??

>>35214505
about a month

>>35214480

Can I start doing stuff like judo for the first time if I'm a 29-year-old skeleton or is it already too late?

I wonder if I should just die instead. It's even too late to start lifting properly, apparently.

>>35214491
It's ok anon-kun, I'll make you a special breakfast if you'll be my gf tonight~

>>35214511
Thats the original payment, i rang them up and asked for an advance payment since i cant make it through march without any money

>>35213384
so you'll know how there is somebody with genuine feelings for her.

>>35214545

I got some spelling tests at skol when the lamppost lights turn on.

>bought a 1080 two weeks ago
>going to return it to get my money back and then buy a non-reference 1080ti
>will have to wait maybe a month without a graphics card

also i'm debating whether or not i should get this

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01A9EN4YU/

i want it but i don't want to deal with all backbleed returning shit

>>35214512
Just do it faggot. Honestly, being a skelly you'll likely be using a lot of leg throws and that is 100 per cent legit. Judo is more or less split down the middle into two movesets based on how tall/ stocky you are. I knew one skinny, tall kid who had this lightning tai otoshi - a really fast sweep that made the most of his longer reach. He was not a strong kid but he made it work for him and sent much heavier guys like me flying. There's something for everyone. Strength can help but you really don't need it. All things being equal, technique > strength every time. It's all about manipulating your opponent. Say I full on try to out-muscle you and charge you down. All you would have to do is redirect, taking an absolute minimum of power, catch my foot and I will be airborne. You would be surprised how true that is. Some absolutely feather-light guys annihilate the tanks precisely because of their overreliance on strength. You will feel great once you learn how easy it is to use someone's strength against them.

>>35214512
>It's even too late to start lifting properly, apparently
I started lifting late in my 28th year (30 now) and I'm pretty big. It's not too late at all.

>aunt dropped off a bunch of marks and sparks food
>my musclefood order arrives today

LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

>>35214480
>Yeah, I would feel much as though I was wasting my time doing all the conditioning, only never to fight.

probably just sticking at your judo then lad. it sounds like you're good at it and really enjoy it. another thing that put me off the boxing was that i dont drive so i had to rely on my dad to give me a lift, and he didnt want to take me most of the time. maybe im best learning how to drive before i take up another martial arts but judo is probably what i will do next. i like doing weight training, and i assume that helps with judo. how often should i take classes if i go to judo?

>>35214512
go on a bulk, lad, and get into lifting. lifting is fun, and you will see results quickly because you're skelly. you could go up a couple of stone fairly quickly, especially if you dot weight training on top of bulking.

I've only been working for a year and a half and I refuse to believe that people do this for 40+ years without complaining. I can't take it anymore.

>>35214630
It goes without saying, but the more often the better. Twice a week will do, but really you ought to be going thrice or more to make good progress. Regarding lifts, I was lucky enough to make a friend at the club who would drive me. Outside that, I was dependent on public transport. Epilepsy, you see.

Weight training can be just a little bit of a trap. If you rely on strength too much, it will hamstring you. If you're against another strong guy, vying for power dominance is a fair way to go. If you just bullrush everyone weaker than you though, it will make you sloppy. That way, as soon as someone as strong as someone comes along your technique will be dirt and you'll have no chance. So yeah, strength is nice but when you're sparring particularly, just check with yourself: if a technique working because it's good, because of timing and positioning, or are you just relying on muscle? In the latter case, practice some more.

Certainly keep up with the weights but I cannot overstress the importance of cardio. In a match, just a few minutes can feel like hours. You might be surprised how draining it is.

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>Kebab places not open on mondays

>>35214599
Whats your musclefood lad? I need to build a bit of meat on my bones

How old are you guys?

26 here. I'm going to college then uni later this year. Do you think I can turn this shit around and have a career, or am I doomed to getting fat and being a jobless loser? Really feel like I'm at my absolute lowest point right now and that's fucking sad because once I had to eat out of a super market bin. I now live with my mum. Don't talk to anyone else. No m8s. No GF, ever. Virgin. Fat. Depressed w/motivation deficiency and constantly tired all day. Really wondering if any effort I make now will be worth it.

Have I trashed my life? Should I just admit what a failure I am and call it a day? I can't even take a haircut without being an awkward sperg. I just went to a hairdressers and you know what I asked? I asked if I'm allowed to have a haircut. They said no. They're busy. If I'm ALLOWED to have a haircut. Man what a joke I am.

Please help me

>>35214771
15kg of chicken and some kangaroo burgers.

I eat the same thing every day and occasionally change it up if I'm feeling like it.

>Breakfast
>Omelette, toast, tea and fruit

>Lunch
>PBJ sandwiches and protein shake.

>Dinner
>Two chicken breasts and rice

I also cut up carrots in the morning and snack on them throughout the day

>>35214666
I'm skelly and I've tried bulking but I just don't have the appetite. I feel like I'm going to puke and I have done sometimes whenever I eat.

>>35214712
thanks for the advice, i will keep this in mind. yeah, i will try to go at least twice a week then.

same as boxing then, in the sense that technique is far superior to physical strength; i imagine its the same with pretty much all, or at least most martial arts.

>>35214740
It's wednesday lad

>>35214831
i used to be like you. i started taking bulking protein shakes and they improved my appetite. working out makes you more hungry too. i was underweight before i got into lifting

>>35214782
22 reporting, been desperately looking for a job for the last 4 years senpai

>>35214782
Keep your chin up, lad. It's never too late to sort your life out.

College and uni sounds like a good start, and being able to identify your problems means you know what you need to work on. Don't be a sadcunt, you've made the first step to clawing your way out of your situation by seeing it for what it is.

>>35214782
Everyone here will be around the same age so we can't say without a doubt that "i was in your place 20 years ago and it turned out fine" but most likely you'll end up okay. It seems most people do if they really want to.

I'm 25
>virgin
>no friends
>no gf
>no family left
>neet

However I own a 3 bed flat and a car so I have that going for me. Inherited it.

>tfw urge to fuck a qt elf

https://youtu.be/jg4sZZaf3Gg

>>35214740
>>35214849
>/britfeel/ in a nutshell

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>>35214902
>playing dragon age
>realize i'll never be a heroic adventurer like my character

>>35214782
>30
>never finished A levels
>fired or rage quit every real job I ever had
>only thing I was good at was drug dealing
>last time I had sex was with my cousin 4 years ago
Just pretty much riding it out until I die of heart failure

>>35214849
>>35214905
this is the worst thing about NEET, sometimes i still think it's january

>>35214902
>Lindsey Stirling
I unironically enjoy her music. Last album was a bit meh though.

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I'm waiting for you simon

I can't stand being on nofap. whenever I go out and I see a nice chubby schoolgirl all I can think about is fucking the shit out of her. I get a boner just from looking at a girl with clothes on.

>>35214821

Can you recommend some good nuts? So I can buy a 5kg bag and snack the fuck out them.

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>>35214821
Simple but tasty enough, reminds me to go pick up some eggs from the market and treat myself to a lunch omelette, breakfast was just porridge with bananas so I need to build on it

>>35214930
>made a note of the things I did in 2016
>all i had was two or three games that i had completed

>>35214938
>mfw that's my name and I'm in a freaked out mood
Thanks for the frighten, lad.

>>35214942
Whats the point of nofap anyway?

>>35214969
apparently it makes you more out going and confident but for me all its doing is making me want to fuck every girl in sight

>>35214905
Just get a Greggs. When I was a super hardcore loser beta neet a few years back but had money, that's what I'd do. >>35214969
I did it for 5 days and I felt like a man again. Energy. Motivation. Made people laugh. Was myself again. But then I came and it's all gone. Some people think it's a meme but I think it's worth looking into again.

>>35214942
then fap. you are meant to fap, its natural and needed to release sperm. just dont letting fapping stop you from doing important things, limit it to once a day, or once every few days.

>>35214954
Buy almonds then season and roast them.

Cashews and pistachios are good but cashews always get stuck in my teeth and i can't be assed shelling pistachios. Yeah you can buy shelled pistachios but it's too expensive.

>>35211997

I had a dream in-which people close to me had relationships and were happy and kissing and generally enjoying life and I woke up feeling lonely and depressed because I have none of that.

How do I just, not feel anything today? Is there away to avoid depression/loneliness/self-pity without drugs?

>>35214995
That's a placebo, you expected to be more confident and you were.

Just be like that all the time

>>35214991
>making me want to fuck every girl in sight
basically that is the point, only like consensually and with adults

Rachel just spelled out STFU on countdown lads

Expect some epic screenshots on normiebook later

I might need to start nofap, had troubling getting erect lately.

>>35215001
If it gets too much your body cums automatically in your sleep. I actually remember one point when I was 14 and hadn't jacked for a week for some reason that I just for no reason came in my pants while awake and watching TV. It was amazing.

>>35215036
that's hot

i don't wear underwear though so it would mean i have to wash my trousers

>>35215012
Had a dream last night that I had a sexual romance with a girl I have never even seen before. It was nice. My brain just cooked it up for me. I felt the whole emotional thing

>>35215036
I've only had a wet dream once when I was 19.

>>35214935
Have you seen her on Britain's Got Talent? She's shit mate. Doesn't even compose her own music on top of being a mediocre violinist.

>>35215028
These been loads like that especially with 8 out of 10 cats. Ive seen fap and squirter before I think

>>35215036
14? I couldn't even cum until I was 15.

>>35215062
You've seen her before. Humans can't imagine a face they've never seen, dreaming is no exception.

>>35215107
>Humans can't imagine a face they've never seen

Then how do you get fictional characters?

>>35215096
you just needed to try with something up your boipucci

Simon just delivered my meat.

66 chicken breasts.

That's my dinner sorted till mid april then.

>>35215126
The author has seen the person's face before.

>>35215107
I can imagine weird shit like aliens and futuristic cities but not a human face?

If you were gonna be a serial killer what would your gimmick be?

I think id leave a list of anime recommendations at every scene

>>35215174
Pretty much. The brain can't invent faces.

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You guys are swamped

>>35215192
theyd call me the gardner, because after I murder someone I'd cut their lawn and do quite a bit of gardening at their house.

>>35215192
I'd change their fb status to 'I'm dead lol'

>>35215174
what you imagine isn't an original creation
it's a remix of things you've already experienced

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Stop fapping. Assholes.

>>35215192
I'd cut the name of my previous victim into the newest. Sometimes I'd make up a name or skip one, the police wouldn't know where to begin.

>>35215133
I felt the sensation of cumming but nothing came out. I only just started puberty when I was 14.

>>35215192

I'd put a little speaker in their throat and make them scream.

Then after I'd done that a few times I'd start putting them up their bums and make farting sounds.

>>35215192
I'd chop off my dick each time and leave it at the scene of the crime

>>35215192
Each killing would be in the style of a previous serial killer

>>35215260
fuck off jigglyshit

>>35215345
pay no attention to the no name tripfag. she does it for attention.

>>35215192
Id only kill people in their homes and I'd review their film and music collection

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>>35215355
>she
does she have a bf? does she live in LONDON?

>>35215355
>she
fuck off you retard

>>35215192
I'd kill people that were already dead.

What do you think the posters here sound like?
I think sneklad sounds like a gay Welshman. I think Junlad has a deep gravelly voice too.

>>35215479
Who cares what those reddit-tier personas do?

>>35215465
I hear she'll let you eat her out for a kebab

>>35214782

It never gets better. I'm 29 and my life is honestly over. There's no going back or making things right. However 26 is still just on the edge of being able to claw it back. If you're in college and then uni just stay the course. Don't become me.

>no GCSE's
>no A-levels
>didn't go to uni
>can't drive
>live with mum
>only job experience I have is stacking shelves
>9 year employment gap on CV
>Paper CV is printed on is worth more
>only job I could get is a 0 hours contract in the service industry
>flipping burgers or serving coffee
>would have to compete with thousands of people for the most menial labour intensive job
>thousands of younger, more motivated, more hard working and more qualified people
>OAP's are either not retiring or coming out of retirement to work (look at costa, it's like a retirement home behind the counter)
>even if I found full time meaningful employment
>wages are so low and the cost of living is so high I wouldn't be able to afford to be independent

My life is nothing but a low skill unit of labour. I'd be living to work for the benefit of someone else just so I could be poor and then have to thank them for the opportunity.

How does that benefit me in any way? I see no gain from working or contributing to society any more.

>works phones are rerouting to my phone if receptionist is busy
>piss myself everytime it vibrates

Makes getting (You)s even better though.

>>35215467
*slow claps*

*steps out of the shadows*

Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...

But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Harry Feelman and Daryl Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.

And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I dont just mean the one you just lost. It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.

See you on the boards...

>>35215479

I imagine Kurisu waifu anon has a near-incomprehensible thick south african accent and does big belly laughs that can be heard from the next room

How do I get over feelings that will never be reciprocated lads

>>35215545
hang yourself anon its the only way

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I just dont have any motivation to work. I've done less than 30 minutes today.

Did anyone go to get their ashes today?

Anyone apart from me?

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>>35215676
I went and got my Ash Cash

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>>35215700
>it's only just clicked why he called it ash cash

>>35215786

Is it some sort of Pokemon reference?

>>35215503
you can do overnight call centre work and make 11 quid an hour

>>35215192
I'd entice bicurious losers on an anonymous forum by avataring as a shota then push them into a canal

>>35215192

I wouldn't have a gimmick, it would probably add to a list of things they could investigate and use to catch you.

>>35215223
Cut their throat then cut their grass.

>>35215809
In he docudrama he got money when his patients died, from that I made the connection to cremation.
Upon looking into it, it's a colloquial term doctors use, since they get about 70 bongs for signing a cremation form.

>>35215700

How the fuck can he have murdered over 200 people and still have such a loveable, friendly, trustworthy face?

>>35215503
Okay, guy you replied to here; what do you wish you did at 26?

Right now here is what I am doing:
>Gone to a college to get into Uni in September.
>Thrown out all my video games, consoles, gaming PC etc.
>Rearranged room for study space.
>Made space for exercise bike.
>Trying to learn language in spare time.
>Have made time to read books related to subject for Uni.
>Quit smoking.

Honestly it just feels like wasted effort. Like I've done all this shit to try to improve myself but deep down I know, I can't change. It's like crawling your way out of a black pit. The motivation isn't there, but the knowledge I have to DO SOMETHING to stop myself from crashing into the orbit of planet FUCK UP is there. It's an insanely existentially tormenting feeling. Like I have hope still? I do have hope still, but it's like... God. What the fuck did I do wrong? Was it how I was raised? Did I miss a step in puberty? What the hell. Yeah I say I've made space for things, trying to learn things, etc. but actually doing them is tough for some reason. I think I need to reset my mind somehow to its natural state. Like kick the internet for a while. Stop fapping. Stop drinking. Shit like that.

Okay so yeah my question was what do you wish you did at 26? Like in hindsight

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>>35214942
>meet a girl next to me in a lecture today
>pretty cool, into anime and video games and shit
>add each other on normiebook, all is well

I got home and checked her profile out.
>Genderfluid princess feuled by CIS tears

Christ I didn't know these people really existed

>>35213642
The situation isn't as dire as you think. If you talk to the help desk you might be able to rebook it for the next flight, although it might be tomorrow or something

next time you need to get to the airport at least 2-3 hours early im scared of flying so waiting in the airport with an audiobook is even comfier than the flight

>>35215929
>Genderfluid princess feuled by CIS tears
Ok now you have to share a pic

>>35215096
Really? I started jacking off when I was like 10. I found out how to do it on the toilet. I don't know why, I just did. Like one minute I was taking a shit, the next minute I was like huh what's this and then WOW. No, I don't have a shit fetish, nor am I gay. It's just something that happened. I remember not being sure if it was bad for me or not, if I had to always use toilet paper for it or not, or if it was normal for it to do that, but I do remember it felt so good that I didn't care.
>tfw remembering ur first cum
Took me a few weeks before I figured out I could do it off the toilet, lol.

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>>35215943
>>35213642
forgot to add this
>The two-hour rule states that if a passenger arrives within two hours of their missed flight, the airline employee can put you on the next flight with the same airline on standby at no charge. If you miss the last flight of the day, you'll be standby on the first flight the next day.

>>35215928
i got into self improvement at about 19, and im 22 now. i just want to say that it may not be wise to throw away all forms of entertainment. you still need to relax, and have down time.

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>>35215929
>>35215948
THIS, share a pic with us fagget.

>>35215929
im predominately left wing in my thinking, and i think the whole genderfluid thing is beyond retarded. fair enough not believing in gender roles but saying you dont have a gender? wtf lol.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4271764/Ford-axe-1-100-workers-Bridgend-plant.html

brexit britain

>>35216058
That's not what genderfluid means mate, it means someone doesn't feel that they have a fixed gender, meaning some days they feel like they identify as male and some days they feel like they identify as female or some other gender.

>>35215929
Who gives a shit what her normie book says? If you think she's cute and you have stuff in common like anime and video games, just go with it anon.

>>35216023
Yes you're right, but it's about finding a balance between entertainment and productivity. Right now I'm 99% entertainment with 1% productivity. That's not a healthy or meaningful balance. It's just apathy. I think I've had enough entertainment for a while, honestly, since all I've done the last six years is play video games, watch anime, argue with strangers online, kill myself with nicotine, drink, eat like shit, and wank. THAT'S IT. That's been entertaining enough, now I want to be a real person and have some success. And you don't get that way by backsliding. And I have backslid enough

>>35215928
>Trying to learn language in spare time

What language? I've learned quite a bit of Chinese, taking the HSK3 exam in April. Mostly with memrise, but also 2 straightforward small textbooks

>>35216148
I've tried Urdu, Japanese, Russian, Mandarin, and French so far.
The ones that interest me the most are Urdu and Mandarin... though honestly learning them all would be useful for me.

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>>35215948
>>35216039
Sorry lads was trying to find one that didn't show up her instagram when image searched

>>35216076
>"if we lock all the immigrants out, we can get our jobs back!"
>jobs become non-existant, meaning no one can get the jobs
>actual british citizens who were born and raised in british families who moved to Euro countries also get locked out
our country will become so shit that even ISIS won't want to bomb it. Was this part of Farage's master plan?

>>35216161

>Urdu
Paki? Having said that I tried Hindi myself.

Honestly anon just get Memrise, pick the "most common 1000 Chinese words" course, 15 new words a day, and review all outstanding last thing at night

>>35216177
You should shag xer senseless mate. Xis's a cutie. The gender stuff is a bit weird but it'll be interesting stuff at least.

>>35216114
>Who gives a shit what her normie book says?

Something like that is a huge red flag. Anyone who even acknowledges concepts like "genderfluid" isn't worth wasting your time on.

>>35216114
>, it means someone doesn't feel that they have a fixed gender,

that is the same as saying you dont have a gender. if you can change your gender based on your mood, it means you dont have a preset gender, and therefore are suggesting you dont have a gender. it even suggests that gender roles are natural as they believe thay have to identify as another gender in order to pertain to another gender role. they can dress like a fella if they want, and they can posses masculine traits if it pleases them but it doesent make them a man. it makes them a women who dresses how they want, which is fair enough, but they dont have to pretend they are a fella too.

>>35216202
Yeah, Urdu is the language of Pakistan and parts of northern India. No, I am not a Pakistani nor do I have heritage from Pakistan. I'm learning it for reasons of career intention.

I downloaded an app a couple days ago, it's called "Hello Chinese." It's got good feedback. Really though I should just pick one and stick to it. It's tough, though.

I have course material on Japanese and Urdu. Of the two I think Urdu would be most useful.

>>35216177
I'd still slam it lad, nothings perfect

>yet another job rejection

fuck when will it end lads this is hellish

>>35216230

Maybe if you wanna work in Intelligence services, and possibly the army Urdu would be useful but not much else. The alphabet in theory is very similar to arabic, but in practise everything is written in an over dramatic poetic form and it's impossible to read.

File: 1463410481098.jpg (298KB, 1034x852px) Image search: [Google]

298KB, 1034x852px

>tfw moving into new unfurnished flat
>tfw looking on Ikea for single beds

At least I'll be able to save money on a cheaper mattress ;_;

>>35216177
If you can shag her and you think you will get along with one another outside of conversations about anime and video games, sure anon, why not. Just don't let the obvious political divide get between you.

>>35216258
What do you currently sleep on if not a bed?

>>35216116
honestly mate, you're doing the right thing. maybe you should sell your stuff, put money aside for buying it in the future, and for now concentrate on self improve.

you will find that most people waste all their time, dont have any real goals or dreams. the only difference is that most people work, or are in some sort of training.

>>35216214
I guess you must not be very desperate for companionship then, if something that trivial is a red flag for you and you can just discard any potential relationship/friendship like that.

>>35216177
She/He/Xe is cute af anon, go for it. What someone has between their legs doesn't matter.

>>35216258
look on gumtree for free shit people are getting rid of

>>35216268
ur mum's tits n fat arse m8 xD

>>35216249
the ride never ends friendo
you're here forever

>>35216258
uh get a double you idiot

>>35216277
>Get free bed mattress from Gumtree
>Guy says it's barely used
>Take it home
>Inspect it properly
>Massive cum stains on it and it smells like cat piss
Th-thanks

>>35216268

I sleep on the bed that came with my current furnished flat and which I will be leaving behind.

>>35216277

>sleeping on someone's second-hand knackered cum-stained mattress full of period blood and biscuit crumbs

You know what anon, I have a bit more self-respect than that.

>>35216273
>if something that trivial is a red flag for you

not him, but come on. its one of the most illogical things to believe in and follow. its like a women on tumblr finding out a guy she likes goes on pol and believes in all the racist shit they follow.

>>35216320
>>35216310

not mattress, bed frame.

>>35216308

I know you're memeing but I can imagine my parents asking why I only bought a single bed and that precipitating a whole family disaster when they finally have to confront the fact that they aren't getting any grandchildren.

It's weird that the mundane act of buying furniture can become so entangled with something else with such lewd connotations.

>>35216339
>Searching for bed frame from Gumtree
>Guy says it's barely used, about a year old, in good shape
>Photo looks bang on m8
>An hour's drive
>Get there
>"Sorry, I uploaded the wrong photo but you can look at it now if you like"
>Takes you to his attic and shows you the frame
>It looks like something people in WW1 died on in hospital
Th-thanks

>>35216323
You're comparing a woman believing in the concept of genderfluidity to a man being a racist?

You're a fucking idiot

>>35215811

call centres are nothing but normie meatgrinders. How is a robot supposed to survive there?

>>35215928

What I wish I did at 26? honestly I have no idea. I felt and thought exactly the same at 26 as I do at 29.

You seem to be on the right track though. One of the things that happens when you become NEET is that you embody all of your bad habits and you lose all sense of structure and motivation. Time and days become meaningless. Is it 3am on a Wednesday or 7pm on a Saturday? Doesn't matter.

You set yourself clear goals split between study, exercise and entertainment. Your motivation for self improvement is far more than I could ever hope to accomplish. Take short breaks while studying to not burn out. Try to go out more. Maybe quiet coffee shops where you can read?

I don't know if I can help with the crushing existential dread. I was having existential crises before I was 10 years old you need a real therapist for that.

>>35216385
>You're comparing someone who believes in a made-up bullshit concept by far-left demagogues to someone who believes in a racist ideology made up by far-right demagogues? You fucking idiot!

>>35216385
you dont get what i am saying. they are both extremes of the left and right, and both followed due to imagination.