AusBot Thead

The fucking footy starts tomorrow and it feels like Christmas.
Fuck me I'm excited, actually gives my weekends a bit of meaning.

File: 0021 - g9SFJxh.jpg (40KB, 515x496px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 515x496px

>>35212012
>footy
You're not a normie, are ya M8?

File: images (2).jpg (12KB, 443x332px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 443x332px

>>35212012
>liking sports

Gtfomnormie chad faggor reee

>>35211940
What do you want to talk about?

I'm watching Logan tomorrow.

>>35211940
I heard there are services which you can pay to be a fake reference for you. Does anyone know any because I'm sure they are illegal?

Or how the fuck do you get a job in this country. I even have a degree (accounting). I just want any job.

File: 1487181553785.gif (1MB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 680x680px

>>35211940
Fellow ausbot here. Do any of you's know how to get out of work for the dole. I've got to do it next week and I am not looking forward to it.

>>35212072
Ever had a job? An old teacher/lecturer maybe?

Could volunteer for a little bit which you search--good way to get a reference too.

File: 0058 - XRTzbJk.png (192KB, 500x485px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 500x485px

>>35211940
>mfw I spell the word thread wrong and forget to capitalise Centerlink

I'm really losing my fucking edge here.

>>35212071
Well, where are you from M8?

I'm planning to watch Taxi Driver a bit later.

>>35212072
Didn't you make a thread a few weeks ago or something?

I remember reading one where a guy with an accounting degree was talking about the horrible job market here.

>>35212033
>>35212049
>not watching Chad's suffer brain injuries

>>35212116
Still not action packed enough for me.

Canberra reporting in. Living the student dream.

>>35212113
Sydney (Revesby)

>>35211940
Chinese people are ugly and should kill themselves especially the UGLY ones. Fuck off with your worthless money.

>>35212110
>Could volunteer for a little bit which you search--good way to get a reference too.
I'm volunteering now. How long should I be there for until I ask for a reference?

>I remember reading one where a guy with an accounting degree was talking about the horrible job market here.
Nope but I wouldn't be surprised. Uni is a scam (or at least a large percentage of it).

File: 0010 - gUKzeUt.png (26KB, 396x400px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 396x400px

>>35212133
I'm in Queanbeyan.

>>35212135
Nice, I used to live near Mt. Druitt, I moved a few weeks ago.

>>35212144
Hard to say. A couple of months maybe? Just depends if you can find someone who likes what you do there; would be a good referee. Good luck though.

>>35212174
Why would you move to Queanbeyan.

Henlo Aussie
Stinky Aussie
Go eat a vegimite ugly

>>35212098
Don't really know. But if you have some sort of mental health issue like depression, a psych can give you something that exempts you for a while.

File: 1484446935151.jpg (31KB, 481x374px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 481x374px

>go to uni
>there's an obituary for pepe t. frog in the student newspaper
>it's written by a woman

Should I pen a riposte describing how normies forced Pepe into the skinhead life?

>>35212225
Please do. At any rate at least you can be creative.

File: 1478888484390.gif (405KB, 359x371px) Image search: [Google]

405KB, 359x371px

>>35212133
I AM THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA
FUCK YOU YOU LYING WHORE

>>35212318
Yeah I'm probably closer to Chad desu. But fuck you.

>>35212193
A fresh start.

I like Queanbeyan, it's nice and quiet.

>>35212318
>>>35212133
>I AM THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA
>FUCK YOU YOU LYING WHORE

Oh no, it's you.

>>35212205
Take a hike, you lebo dog.

>>35212225
Yes, put that sped in her place.

>>35212340
You better fucking be Chad or else my SWAT buddies are gonna have to take out some more trash.

>>35212342
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you.
Any minute or any day now anon.

File: 1487838562679.png (329KB, 555x555px) Image search: [Google]

329KB, 555x555px

>still alone in adelaide

at least i get my government money tomorrow

>>35212387
I'm from Western Sydney you cunt, you don't scare me.

And you told me that your (most likely imaginary) "buddies" were in the SAS.

>>35212388
What are you planning to do with it?

>>35212387
Where do you live anyway, faggot? I'm in Turner.

>>35212409
Then we have no beef. You may live.

>>35212417
Bad move anon. The backtrace had already begun but now I am even closer to closing in on your exact location.
Expect an entire militia armed to the teeth knocking on your door momentarily.
You're fucking dead, kiddo.

I AM THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA

>>35212434
David Street, to be exact. Come at me bro.

>>35212434
I'm the Queanbeyan anon M8, I moved here from Western Sydney.

Just remember I'm not far from your domain, I can invade at any time.

Watch your back, cunt.

>>35212409
i still have half a slab and most of a bottle of jack's left so i'll probably just buy some trash food and sit on the rest of it for a while

>>35212463
Fair enough.

So what do you do with your time, M8?

>>35212474
being dead would be nice

other than that i watch streams

>>35212446
House number?

>>35212452
Come near my city and you get a good slicing m8.
I'll cut ur nuts off and feed em to ur gran.

>>35212501
I feel the same way sometimes.

I spend most of my time playing video games and watching movies and trash on YouTube.

Age 18 and I'm already wasting my life.

>>35212507
That's good enough for you, just send your militia to cordon off the half of David St that qualifies as Turner.

>>35212507
Fucking touch my junk and you'll lose your nose, dickhead.

File: australia 3.png (11KB, 414x414px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 414x414px

>>35211940

I'm going to kill every non-white in Australia I see when the race war comes. I'm going to beat every brown person, Indians in particular, chink, gook, wog, arab, muslim I see to death with a baseball bat with my right wing death squad.

Every night I'll going to get into my Mad Max rampage car that's a 2001 holden commodore vx modified with wheel spikes, barbed wire and a giant spiked ram and run over every shitskin I see while my fashy goy white supremacist brothers sit outside the windows with nail spiked baseball bats and hit the heads of every Indian and Jew we see.

The streets will be flooded with the blood of non-whites.

Every day I'm just waiting for it.

Non-whites literally asked, begged, to be killed the moment they came flooding into white countries

File: 1487466657797.jpg (166KB, 600x560px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 600x560px

>>35212528
>You in the race war
Just make sure to properly sanitize Melbourne and Victoria in general.

I'm really jealous of Americans. This country is shit with our shitty gun laws. If I was American I could just buy a shotgun and kill myself but killing yourself without guns complicates things tenfold.

File: 1478894702260.gif (513KB, 180x204px) Image search: [Google]

513KB, 180x204px

>>35212523
The hornets nest has been poked, the bear awoken from his slumber, YOU HAVE INCURRED THE WRATH OF THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA AND NOW YOU SHALL WITNESS THE POWER OF MY REVENGE
Expect to wake up dead, my friend.

>>35212527
Know what I'll do? I'll fondle you for a little bit get the juices flowin, the blood pumpin, then when you're at peak blood flow and stiffness, when you're about to pop, I make you pop.
No I don't let you release your seed I pop your cock and watch you bleed.

>>35212544
I know, I often wonder how I will get the job done if I decide to kill myself.

Fuck hanging or cutting my wrists, if I've suffered enough I'm not going to add to it just to end it.

>>35212562
Fucking go to sleep or something you poser cunt, no one cares what you fantasise about.

>>35212528
I sympathise you, but on the other hand I have a Paki gf who I love. wat do

>>35212595
You're a traitor, but just don't have any kids with it.

>>35212576
You roleplay about being suicidal I roleplay about being a homicidal maniac with connections in the military and a special snowflake complex.
Y u have to bully anon? We all have our little roleplay funs here.

>>35212595
Is she shrill, short, and hairy?

>>35212610
I'm not roleplaying, I have had bouts of being suicidal, though thankfully I got past them.

But still, there's nothing wrong about thinking of all the different paths in life that you can take.

>>35212205
Wong, you barely fucking speak English mate, go home.

>>35212628
Come to think of it, he does seem to be acting like a Chink.

>>35212610
I roleplay as a caramel skinned musclebitch cyborg. Whose purpose in life is to eat other girls asses and get fucked by shemales. Or my wow characters.

Also in mid raid and realized I can tell who in my house had been up by the distinct smells of their shit

Goddamn it, don't tell me all you lazy buggers have gone to sleep.

It's only 10:00pm.

>>35212133
>>35212174
>>35212318
HOLY FUCK CANBERRAN BOTS WE NEED TO START A DISCORD OR SOME SHIT

>>35212626
So me thinking about and entertaining the idea of becoming homicidal and murdering the other robots of Canberra because I AM THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA is okay?
Very well then. IF ANYONE DARES TO STEP FOOT IN CANBERRA AND CLAIM TO BE A ROBOT I SHALL HAVE THEIR HEAD ON A PIKE

>>35212647
You sound hot.
You best not come round my parts though, or there'll be hell to pay.

File: 687474703a2f2f746f6765746865722d67726f77696e672e636f6d2f77702d636f6e74656e742f75706c6f6164732f323031322f30342f526f6d616e2d547269756d70682e6a7067.jpg (73KB, 478x331px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 478x331px

>>35212049
Sport is the entertainment of Emperors and Philosophers.

>>35212682
Good, good. Make a list...
heh heh heh

>>35212682
I'm a Queanbeyan bot, that other autistic prick wouldn't want me to identify as a Canberran.

And does Discord have a text chat, I don't want to use a voice chat service.

>>35212683
I swear to god, I will find you and beat the "I'm the only robot in Canberra" out of you.

>>35212692
Jesus christ I don't want to talk to act bots if they're this autistic.

I bet you're from Charny or some shit you dropkick

>>35212518
Time enjoyed wasting isn't time wasted.

Who here drinking goon tonight

>>35212708
I guess so, but I feel like I could be doing more with my life.

>>35212712
You better not be an Abo.

>>35212702
Yeah scratch that, too many autistic north sider cunts here. Queanbeyan is a shitehole, but of course it's pretty much a part of Canberra.

Now, actbots, how the fuck do we get laid in this city? I'm a virgin and I see literally no path to losing it here. Other than Fyshwick brothels, of course.

>>35212724
Go to TORIC brothel. Best one in the city.
I'm sure you'll have an "explosive" time.
heh heh heh....

>>35212724
I guess you aren't a student? Uni is an easy place to get laid or find someone to date.

>>35212724
Queanbeyan is nice and quiet, the way I like it.

And I wouldn't know how to help with that.

>>35212720
Not drinking petrol mate, so obviously not a coon

>>35212744
Why are you so autistic? I should fucking swing by your neighborhood and crack you over the head cunt. Where do you live?

>>35212745
Full time worker. It's hard as fuck meeting people here. tinder is filled with snobby bitches too.

>>35212771
>>>35212744
>Why are you so autistic? I should fucking swing by your neighborhood and crack you over the head cunt. Where do you live?
Fucking do it M8. Film it too.

>>35212771
Yeah tinder is pretty shit, I found my last gf on it here in Canberra but there weren't that many good options so I was lucky. I wouldn't even know where to find girls outside tinder if I wasn't studying.

>>35212702
>>35212704
>>35212771
I see there is some hostility brewing. This is good gentlemen, for we can settle our differences and one of us *cough* me *cough* can claim their rightful place as THE ONLY ROBOT IN CANBERRA

The battle to the death shall be held in the fountain near civic mall on Saturday, be there or be dead, because I'll hunt you down and kill you anyway.
1 rule:
There are no rules.

The choice is yours gentlemen.

>>35212802
Literally inside the fountain? Rad. I'll be there.

File: 1483945226267.gif (896KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

896KB, 500x281px

>>35212802
GODDAMN IT YOU AUTISTIC PRICK, AS OP OF THIS THREAD, I ORDER YOU TO FUCK OFF.

I SWEAR I CAN FEEL MY IQ POINTS DROP WHENEVER I READ YOUR POSTS.

FUCKING STOP, JUST FUCKING STOP.

>>35212802
All jokes aside, it's pretty fucking sad that for a small city we have 3+ robots here. Just shows how anti-social we are as a city.

>>35212840
I'd assume that WE are the antisocial ones.

>>35212528
Literally been thinking about this for years if the sand niggers do something on Anzac Day mark my fucking works I will have blood and post it here boys

>>35212720
Everybody wishes they did more with their life but the Emperor is one man and the peasants many.
I think, also, that overpopulation has made it worse. Think of something like iron, the more iron there is the cheaper iron sells; the more people there are the less each person is worth.

Best to just enjoy the small things, like the colour of the trees.

>>35212832
Literally inside the fucking fountain.

>>35212839
You have to read them in a high, posh, pyscho voice. You're doing it wrong.

>>35212840
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
heh heh heh

>>35212133
>Country Nsw bot in Melbourne for uni
I can't take the city m8 its killing me what have I done

I'm just glad this thread go replies b4 the discord shills come in and make all hope of a Aus thread impossible

>post postcodes
2099

>>35212859
You're going to wait UNTIL Australians die?

>>35212895
If we attack first they will all side with the shit skins but if in retaliation I will have a better chance of spreading so more Aussies take up arms

>>35212890
2620 here.

>>35212875
Yeah you're right. I guess I'm over thinking certain things.

how lillywhites are you '""""aussies""""'

>>35212883
>Melbourne
Yeah you really fucked up big time, M8.

>>35212948
I actually can't fucking take this ultra left hipster shit paired with fuck tons of people, I fell for the chose a high ranked uni meme and now I'll just end up an heroing

>>35212973
my oneitis is in Melbourne attending uni

pls fuck her for me

>>35212973
SJWs and Apex niggers are not worth killing yourself over.

Just push through and you'll make it.

>>35212973
Should've come to ANU, you get the high ranking without the big city.

File: 1447436432534.jpg (18KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 300x300px

growing up and living as a robot on the Gold Coast is fucking torture

File: Reinbach-352886-Nikkiel_Commission.jpg (460KB, 832x1106px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 832x1106px

>>35212683
we should be fine ;) I legit use f-list

File: grifith-uni-gold-coast-campus-front.jpg (180KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

180KB, 1280x720px

hey lads
any fags here go to Griffith uni, nathan campus?

BRISBANE FAG

any vicfags wanna meet up at fed square sometime this week?

who here /usyd/

File: 1486432305296.png (100KB, 166x214px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 166x214px

>>35213029
Try Townsville anon :(

Australians are garbage.

PS Yutes are just fag trucks

>>35213109
townsville is a fucking mess
fuck that place

>>35213117
>yutes

>>35213117
Fuck off, you foreign cunt.

thisisaveryoriginalcomment

File: stevep.jpg (29KB, 348x321px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 348x321px

>>35213117
>yutes

oregano

File: 1318573895108s.jpg (2KB, 126x85px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 126x85px

>>35213117
>yutes

i'm laffin and kekkin

>>35213109
yeah too much crime, thanks niggers.

>>35213118
Tell me about it. Its fucked by meth and shit and the weed is overpriced and shit. The council would be better run by fucking ibises, the schools pump out disappointments like it's going out of style. I'm honestly scared of Flinders St

>>35213178
holy shit, my boss at IGA said she gets her coke from flinders st!

>>35213235
Kek, Flinders St is literally one of the worst places to go out for a night. As long as you stay inside you should be fine, but inside is where the drugs are, and in turn the pissed off cunts who haven't been payed yet

>>35213342
i hate this country sometimes, best to keep your head down and not interact with the locals

>>35212923
2620 as well, I live outside Qbn

I've just jumped into this thread and I'm stunned by the sheer volume of Canberrabots here, where have you all been hiding when I needed friends?

>>35213402
I just move to Qbn a few weeks ago from West Sydney.

And most of the Canberrabots seem to be really autistic.

>>35213451
>West Sydney
Please at least be white

I was up Northside today and saw not one, not two, but four blacks. Pretty rare sight around here and it'd be nice if it stayed that way.

Why'd you move down here anyway mate, you didn't fall for the ANU meme did you?

>>35213486
I am pure white with NZ, British and Northern European ancestry.

And yeah, I've been quite taken back with how many white people are here, I've only seen one African, an Indian, a few Asians and one Arab family, Western Sydney is chock full of them.

And I'm 18 and moved down here with my mum for a fresh start, I'm looking at joining the ADF, so no ANU.

>>35213538
dont join ADF man, do something that will give you skills
I did ADF infantry with no deployments and its was FUCKING BORING

>>35213569
>do something that will give you skills
I only completed Year 10, I don't see many options.

And I don't care if I'm deployed or not.

>>35213597
no i mean, join the military but do something like engineers, mechanics, medic in the defense force and things like staticians and joint planning in the navy and airforce

>>35213617
They're good choices, I'll look into them.

It's just when you only have Year 10 qualifications to you name, it really reduces your options in the ADF.

>>35213653
if you show them that your willing to go above and beyond, its not too hard to crawl up the ladder

>>35213569
lol which unit were you in. I was in 5RAR for four years, did 9 months in Afghanistan though.

>>35213677
i was at the enoggera barracks in the 6th battalion, rifle company D, which annoys the shit out of me cause both other battalions were sent to south korea for a glorified vacation, while we just sat around all day, officers were pretty chill thou

>>35213770
Sounds lame. I was in back in the day of constant deployments so everything was pretty happening and motivated, despite all the bullshit.

>>35213835
i make it sound too bad, i acutally made some great friends, even officer friends and learnt a pretty decent amount about mechanics
made me into a man

>>35213860
What brings you to /r9k/ then? Are you a robot or just a chad here for the lulz. The few robots we had in my battalion got constantly shat on.

>>35211940
I want to kill myself, no joke. Only reason I haven't is I don't want my parents to be upset over it

>>35213877
i browsed r9k all the way back in the 9th grade, im here for life

>>35213907
Similar to me, I discovered /b/ back in circa 05 when I was still in school and have been here since.

>>35213890
what city?
dont do it yo, its sounds clique because its true

>>35213936
Melbourne, I wont do it but all I have is booze. I work but pretty much got told by my house mate to fuck off and find somewhere else the live

>>35212113
>Centerlink
Americuck detected. Get out of my thread.

who /gym posting/ here?

fuck you I have to wagecuck in the morning you cunt
though it's also dole day tomorrow too

Where's the aus fembot who wants to be impregnated. I hope you're lurking, reading this.

Bros, I'm so nervous.

I've actually, somehow, managed to get a date this weekend. I've been on like two others in my LIFE, and they've all gone terribly - I don't know what the fuck to say and I end up sperging out in panic.

Somehow I have managed to get a girl in bed, and that was even worse. I'm too scared to have sex, bros. I just told her "maybe later" because she thought I was a bad kisser but I played it off like I was just high (I wasn't), so I thought she'd be able to tell I was a virgin.

Every day that goes by is a day where it's less and less acceptable to be a 24 year old virgin - what do I do? I don't want to see a hooker, I don't have the money and I'd just be ashamed of myself.

It feels like, even if I totally luck out and don't sperg out on the date, best case scenario is she wants to fuck me, right? But then I pussy out of that, because I'm too nervous she'll know I'm a virgin.

I don't even know what to do, bros. Thinking of cancelling it and just living the wizard life.

File: trippy.jpg (980KB, 1982x2643px) Image search: [Google]

980KB, 1982x2643px

any adelaidebots?

>>35214183
right here, suffering

File: 1488098213265.jpg (72KB, 450x640px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 450x640px

>>35214163

If it comes to sex. Just a lot of slow strokes while in missionary (don't let her ride until you're ready to nut) and break the vaginal intercourse up with a lot of breast play, kissing and heavy petting, go down on her if you're think you won't sperg out.

>>35214197
you got drugs

File: 1486909021342.png (34KB, 607x423px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 607x423px

>>35214252
always with the degeneracy with you fags.

go put on the kettle or something.

>>35214265
>on r9k
>doesnt have a substance abuse problem to cover up the mental illness
fuck off faggot

>>35214234
Thanks bro, really appreciate it.

This might sound stupid, but how do you normally go about finding the pussy and putting it in the right place? Is there something you feel for?

File: 1486273150561.jpg (65KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 960x720px

>>35214049

I should really go and bang out my sets, but no, I'm stuck in front of the computer edging for the last three hours.

Kill me cobbers.

>>35214313

not that guy but you are over thinking it. just go with the flow and it will all happen organically.

>>35212388
haha i'm in adelaide too faggot

>>35214183
yeah mane. u go to uni?

>>35214385
u look fucked cunt

I got a lump on the back of my head, it's been there for real long now and it kind causes discomfort and just then I got sharp pains on that side of the head.
When I first noticed it it was a real big blister-like thing and I kept on fucking with it (squeezing it like a pimple) and now it is what it is now.

Is it time to go see the GP?

LET'S NUKE MELBOURNE

FUCKING KIKE HIVE OF SJWS

THE GREENS ARE CRYPTO-COMMUNISTS

>>35214855
are u asian? legit srs question

>>35214855
>Is it time to go see the GP?
>that'll be $70 for the consultation from Dr. Pajeet and then $90 for the antibiotics sub.

Just lance it yourself you poof and get some betadine.

>>35214855

yeah see a doctor/ make sure its not brain cancer.

>>35214890

theyre not even crypto about it anymore.

Anyone else here just don't talk to family any more? I haven't seen my mum for 2 years and I just can't see us ever connecting again. I feel like a fucking autist with depression and the worst outlook in life. I think of suicide a lot but don't want to really do it.

>>35215039

why dont you give your mum a call. its sad to say but she'll die one day and you might miss her than and it will be too late.

>>35215070
Big fat void of nothing inside.

File: 1478312440035.jpg (49KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 500x500px

>>35214910
How did you know though?

>>35214934
I've never been myself, didn't know it costed money.

>>35214974
Any signs I should look out for? I get spasms sometimes, feels like it comes from the spine and heart.

>>35215135
my asian mates has the same shit aha. fucking nips. but its probs not u since he isnt a weab posting anime faggot

>>35215123

i have a similar but different problem. i live with my parents and see them every day but we never talk about anything substantial. its always just small talk about nothing. i wish i could talk about something deeper but im embarrassed and can never think of anything. part of it stems from the fact that my parents are fundamentalist evangelical christians and im an agnostic atheist. ive never told them though. we just avoid the subject of religion like the plague in conversations.

>>35215135

>Any signs I should look out for?

dont know. guess you could google it.

>I get spasms sometimes, feels like it comes from the spine and heart.

thats fucking worrying. if i was you i would have seen a doctor already.

File: img000025.jpg (807KB, 1106x1600px) Image search: [Google]

807KB, 1106x1600px

>>35215163
He's missing out on fine and sophisticed Asian culture.

>>35215300
I would have too but I can't drive so I have to ask somebody to help me with that.

>>35215363
>I would have too but I can't drive so I have to ask somebody to help me with that.

are you in a rural area?

>>35212133
anu bro?

Hey guys I'm in Perth.
Email me if you want to meet up for iced tea or beer.
michael.j.cooke@gmail dot com
I'm 33 so to some of you I will probably be a old man. Just letting you know in advance.

>>35215404
Nope.
I could take the bus but I'm not very good with directions so I'll probably just ask my mum.

>>35212626
Because you're a fucking autistic 12 year old who needs to keep his gay larping to himself.

>>35212632
It's the style of broken English and embarissingly pathetic and juvenile attempts at banter that gives him away.

File: 1457168522507.jpg (110KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 960x960px

>>35215570
>michael.j.cooke@gmail dot com

seems suspicious.

>>35214792
yeah mate, you?

>>35211940
>TAFE Enrolled Nursing student here forced to change careers thanks to Pajiet and his 1000 bizarrely inbred cousins. Digital marketing sucks especially in bogan ass Perth.

>>35215744
Stop projecting, you cocksucker.