ITT: who hurt you the most anons? What made you this way?

>>35211914
Lack of parenting and emotionally distant parents.

My grew up without a father and it fucked me up.

>>35211914
The years of solitude made me who I am

Distant dad and busy mom.

>>35211914
i don't know i guess i've kinda always been this way

i dropped out of school when i was 8 years old which certainly did me no favors

>>35211914
Girls. The pain of being rejected and ignored by the ones I loved the most.

>>35211978
How?
Where do you live?

Orig

>>35211914
My ugly wife. She ruined my will to live because being trapped with an inadequate vile pig is a death sentence. Taiwanese cunts are the most ugliest women alive.

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>>35211984
>The pain of being rejected and ignored by the ones I loved the most.
Atleast you tried approaching them.

>>35211914

My own mental illness and crippling shyness.

>>35211995
>How?
i just refused to go because of social anxiety
they tried to homeschool me and shit but i refused to see them too and eventually everyone just gave up on me

>Where do you live?
norway

>>35211914
bpd mom. absent dad. bullies..

>>35211998

Are you white?

I saw a white guy with an ugly Asian today. Ruined my day.

I was thinking: "if that bloke can only manage that ugly skank, then what is in store for me?"

Lack of father, coddling mother, then asshole stepdad

Also having low-key autism that went undetected for 27 years, lots and lots of social failure without knowing what I'd done wrong

those kikes in middle school who beat me up

My mom

I feel guilty typing this, because she was great, but she made me a huge beta

I was literally genius tier as a small child but she kept me in a shitty public school where I got bullied. I wore hand me downs and she never taught me how to take care of hygiene. Ultimately my social failure ruined everything else.

>>35211914
The Jewish doctor that stole my foreskin

Girl called Sophie. Can post the story if any other anons want me to.
But tl;dr she was the sole reason for my depression and the progenitor for my distrust and cynicism towards what women can do. She completely destroyed me

>>35212188
Post the story anon.

>>35212188

I know that feel. I had the same thing going on with a girl. 3 years ruined. And the worst part is that she's barely aware of me besides that one time she rejected me.

It's so fucked up.

Nothing really. I became this way after knowing that humanity has always been shit and will continue to be shit.

>>35211914
Tie between my parents and my older brother.
Parents only hear what they wanted to hear and I frequently got into fights for my life with my brother when my parents weren't at home. It wasn't uncommon for him to pull a knife on me.

These fights also caused my baby sister at the time to have breakdowns whenever things got heated in my house. I feel responsible for everything though, even though I only fought to save my own life.

My dad. Spent all of his time bonding with my brother, never taught me what he knew. I kind of understand why, since he and my brother are really similar and I'm, well, a robot, but there's so much that he knows that I wish he'd taught me.

>>35211914
the mirror. the mirror hurts the most.

Loving parents who always wanted to support me and see me succeed, so every time I fucked up I felt like such a failure that I just stopped interacting with them. We still live in the same house, I just live in my room.

>>35211914
parents, i actually probably have teh most fucked up childhood on this entire board lol not explaining

>>35212216
>>35212188
Alright anons its a bit long so ill try and keep it short
>Be 15
>Meet girl Called Sophie, shes just lost her mum in a car crash and i ended up convinging her out of suicide
>End up talking most days and getting really close.
>She settles down and moves in with her grandmother
>Over the next year she makes friends and me and her get closer and end up going out for a while but it doesnt work
>nothing changes bar that, we still manage to get closer
>Eventually she starts stealing medicine from her grandmother and selling them for sex and alcohol
>Convince her out of it
>Grandmother asks her to leave
>Provide care while she moves in with her auntie
>Next 2 years pass and i help her through abuse, rape, seperatiom from her sister, several incidents with the police and a heck of a lot of counselling for her
>Says im like a big brother and to be honest anons i loved her like a sister
>One day she goes missing, we spend all night out looking for her
>Turns out she was out sleeping around and taking drugs
>Fast forward a few months
>Go to Berlin with the school
>Text sophie saying i got there alright
>No answer all week
>Come back to a facebook message from her ubcle saying shes gone off the rails and had taken herion, lsd, coke, slept aroubd sent porn of herself to random guys, slept with over 20 people in a week, ended up stealing and assaulting and hospitalising an elderly couple
>This ended up putting me into shock

1/2

>>35212382
>>35212216
>>35212203
>Spent months helping her through this with her family
>Contacted her by text
>When it was all over i diddnt hear from her for a month
>Figured she needed space to get her head right
>Got a text from her "Hi Lewis, youve been like a big brother to me for the past 4 years, but to be honest all i wanted from you was anything i could get. Youre not usefull to me anymore because i cant take anything else from you. Dont contact me again"

From that and other incidents i spiralled for a good year but it seeded me with a massive distrust of women. Events since then have only reinforced that

>my ex

She abused and manipulated me

Great tits though

>>35211914
My father died when I was 8.
A week later, a popular girl said she wanted to go out with me.
When I said yes, her entire gang of friends came out, laughed at me and made fun of me.
This was back in elementary school.

Ever since then I've hated women, and society because it allows them to be that way.
Having to hide my power level eventually made me a recluse.

I don't know. I'm definitely carrying some resentment and anger around with me but I don't particularly know where it comes from. My family were/are pretty nice people. Nothing especially bad has ever happened to me. I'm thinking about going to psychotherapy to see if I can figure it out.

>I feel like my little brothers lives and my dads life would have been better if i wasnt born

i was repeatedly raped as a child by a family friend

>>35211914
Some anon on /b/ called me a faggot years ago

Difficult to pick between my parents. My dad made me anxious, paranoid and defensive. My mother fucked up my sexuality and essentially made sure all my relationships were dysfunctional. I suppose the psychosis and alcoholism must come come somewhere in between.

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>>35213371
>tfw i also got a agressive dad

Im lretty sure going on /pol/ very much affected me
In an incredibly negative way

>>35213474
Dad wasn't really aggressive/ violent except for a couple of occasions. He mostly just seemed to hold me in contempt and belittle and undermine me. It was clear he resented me because he had me too young and he felt like I'd ruined his life.

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The J-
The Juuu
The Juww-
DADDY
DADDY COME BACK
MOMMY WON'T STOP CRYING?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE?

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>Lack of emotions from parents
>Never got any appreciation from them
>Started looking for it in other people
>Found out that people don't generally care about me
>Started to get more and more emotionless in order to protect myself from other people

Well, here I am now

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>>35211914
>tfw constantly bullied by older brother
>everytime i told mum or dad bout it they shrugged it off, telling me to "stop annoying" my big brother instead
>even now when hes married and lives 80km away with his wife and kids he still comes a couple times a year by and bullies the heck out of me
>tfw his 3yr old kid starts doing the same
>mfw

>>35213685
why don't you cut contact with your brother?

>>35213745
i live with my parents, impossible to do that
when i try to ignore him he usually grabs my arm and pushes it against my back while saying i shouldnt ignore him, his little kid even starts punchign me ALOT now too
>tfw scarred and damaged ever since birth

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>got bullied throughout primary school
>most of highschool too
>youngest of three
>only male
>father is abusive
>all the women are feminists
>live with middle sibling and mother as parents divorced
>sister that's out of home got an English degree instead of something useful
>thinks criticising religion is racist
>other sister is a tumblrfag that buys into that crap too
>constantly jealous that I have friends
>and talent
>bullies me because carlthecuck.jpg
>haven't seen Dad much recently
>he seems happy now at least
>mfw my depression has been coming back because I legitimately have no control over my life and living space

>>35213824
You should tie him up in his sleep and fuck his supple daddy ass. And make his son watch

>>35213824
just punch him in the face or even better his son

>>35213824
>>tfw scarred and damaged ever since birth
that's a feel I haven't felt in a long time

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>>35211914
Bullies. Life. And the biggest one, myself. The constant disappointment of investing hope into this life only to be cruelty betrayed left and right. "Just try harder!" they said "It'll all work out!" They told me. Only it never did. It really did a number on me...

>>35212031
Yes I'm the typical blonde hair and blue eyes kind of guy but obviously I'm not as attractive as I thought.

Probably ruined twice now.

Honestly I don't know why ugly women are in abundance. If I could redo anything I would absolutely ignore the pitiful leech indefinitely and leave her in the trash where she belongs.

My parent's divorce.
I didn't remember when it happened, but after spending every weekend with my mom and having to look at her waving goodbye at me from her apartment window, with such a sad look on her face while I look back from the back of my dad's car driving away..

I cried in silence everytime on our way back, on every single sunday for years.

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Mom sent me to summer camp when I was 13. I had tons of fun there with many different kids but on the last night there was a farewell campfire and I realized I was the only kid who didn't make a single friend when I was surrounded by 200 kids crying and saying how much they'd miss each other. Then one of the staff came to me and told me that he noticed I was alone a lot and that it was okay because it made you strong.

After that I became aware that I wasn't normal and stopped feeling attachment to people

>>35213990
i bet after that experience you grew even more desperate and you started to approach random people @ school to have convos with and maybe "befriend" but after the convo ended they just up and leave u there and u go home alone and tell urself "tmrw is the day!" and this went on till graduation day

>>35213990
Are you me? This describes exactly how I feel ;_;

mom
>you're not my family, your brother, sister, and step father are. i sent you away for a reason.
>how dare you try to move away. i'm going to talk to the woman you're in love with and convince her that you're a piece of shit.
>instead of getting you anything for xmas or your birthday i'm going to give you a bill for being born. to this day i still hear about the 3k they owe the hospital for my birth.
>if you were never born i'd still be able to have fun. you ruin everything.

dad
>YOU'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS ME AT ANYTHING. DON'T EVEN TRY.
>it's your fault i don't have anything and you're going to pay me back for all the child support i owe your mom.
>no i won't help you get a license.
>i'm going to drink 50 beers a day and blame you for why i don't have anything.

i really should kill my parents.

>>35214072
woa this sounds straight out of some edgy anime

>>35211914

My father. He's a faggot.

I'm so anxious and avoidant now that I cannot walk into a store without being extremely in edge and feeling very tense. Being seen by other human beings is enough to make me anxious.

>>35211914

The whole world

Friends and romantic relationships

i haven't had anything extreme like the anons above happen to me, like abuse o divorce o sexual assault o lonliness through childhood. Makes me really appreciate my life more. worst thing i had happen was my grandma who really knew me individually died, and i had a shitty experience with a girl who completely led me on (literally said we should go somewhere together then declined when i asked her out and got with a guy a couple days later)

>Sometimes though, believe it or not, i wish that my life was harder so i knew what hardship and real struggle and pain felt like, because i'm afraid life will punch me in the dick when i graduate college.

>Parents make a combined 125-140k a year
>live in white suburban neighborhood surrounded by great neighbors
>never did drugs, not even weed. be 18
>Be average player on a great team
>parents paying off 11k for my first car
>house has great internet, i have a 800$ pic i built
>have friends
>be fit


>wish my life was hard, legit scared for what the future holds and doubt i'll be able to handle it

>>35214009
It was actually like this

>get home
>develop social anxiety
>stop going to school and almost drop out
>cut contact with everyone
>went full NEET Hikki for a year and a half until mom made me pick school or work or she would kick me out of the house. I chose school and I regret it now

I'm much better now and don't suffer from anxiety anymore, I would even say I'm pretty happy but I live my life alone with my pets and hobbies

>>35214034
I'm sorry you went through something similar senpai

>>35214160
post pic of ur pets pls anon

>>35214072
>>35214122
There's no option but to become a nothin personnel MC with a dark past and surpass your family my man

A power saw

>>35211914
asian women that date white guys. they make me feel inferior. they're just so disgusting in my eyes.

also i grew up being scared of my dad. he was never my best friend and i didn't learn masculinity from him

Mom
>Busy
>Had bowel cancer
>become an alcoholic
>committed

Dad
>Aggressive
>scream and yell at me as a kid for simply asking question causing me to become paranoid, self loafing, anxious and defensive.

Friends (lack of)
>Constantly left out
>Betrayed several times

Myself
>Bottle up feelings
>stuck between anxiety causing me to apply for jobs or benefits

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>>35214188
here you go organico

>>35212382
>>35212390
I just wanna let you know that your story touched me and you should have gotten more yous. I hope you learned your lesson but the morale of the story isnt the "women are bad" meme, its that you dont ever trust a junky.They are literal subhumans.

I can see from your post that you have a lot to give, dont let that go to waste. Godspeed!

>>35214301
awe that looks fun :^)

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>>35211914
mom
>seriously wants to be in control of everything I do because of distant father
>blames father for almost everything and based as fuck for whitewashing herself
>judge everything I do even if I absolutely do nothing bad
>judgement is based on prejudice

dad
>caught him in a bar with hookers and then rushed home. I thought of the things I could get for blackmailing him and then when I get home he argues and yells at my mom for something she was completely oblivious and even told me that is this what you want anon!? then seeing I clammed up he rode off to the night and told me it was okay

those and bullying and my mom hardpressing me to be more social with people especially with relatives

>>35214301
>tfw no cute doggos that would spend christmas with you when ur alone
:(

>>35211914
my parents always hated me growing up, probably because I was ugly.
Dad especially beat me to make me normal, all that did was just make more introverted and mum pretty much forbade me from doing what I wanted

>>35212390
What a horrid tale. You've got a heart of gold, anon. Don't let them take it from you.

>>35212390
>tfw dads a degenerate and a helicopter mom

damn anon you must be pretty strong emotionally to go through an ordeal like that

here's your (you)

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>>35211914

Females hurt me the most.

>>35212249
You're a fucking faggot Richie. YOU pulled out the knife like a pussy and YOU start all the problems because you act like you're a fucking spoiled princess. You 20 year old virgin street level dimebag dealing pussy. How can you sell weed out of the house when you know mom is on Probation? You're a selfish faggot.

>>35212031
No I'm asian but that doesn't matter with how it ruined my day?

>>35211914

My gf for one month that I have been crushing on for two years.

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>>35214490
>Females hurt me the most.
The mother especially.

>>35214345
>"women are bad"
>meme

>t. Virgin

Waking up with memories of being screamed at, beaten and molested, strings of violent events constantly haunt me. I can't help but hate those who are my age and still being coddled by loving parents. It's all I ever wanted but instead I get handed all the red flags so I can't open up to anyone. So disconnected. How can I ever live normally? You had to take everything from me so early on, like I had anything to start with. Are you happy with yourself yet? Was killing me slowly worth it? No one can compare to your evil, I met many of them. They all still had hope and a family to go back to. So do you. That's what will forever separate us.

How do you like me being so close to your dad?

>>35211914
I did. I guess the fact that I never was really taught about the importance of the social aspect of life at home is a flaw in my upbringing but it's all me when it really comes down to it. I am a little drunk now so I don't really even feel bad about things at the moment. Though I get atleast weekly phases where I remember all my regrets and failures and that just makes me miserable and apathetic.

>>35211914
Parents divorce, father who was and is still distant.
My own stupid social anxiety.

Going to uni turned me from confident happy teenager into a cynical lonely angry and miserable person

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abusive parents and shitty childhood

>my brother
>my highschool friends
>my mum
In that order

Bumping for an actually not shitty thread on r9k

>>35211914
Feared for my safety every time my dad would come home. He would always throw shit and yell at me for playing computer games but he was too much of a pussy to actually take them away for some reason so I just lived in a perpetual state of addiction and fear.

Then he died and I got an e-gf that I found out was cheating on me the whole time, and I somehow had feelings for the bitch. Downhill from there

>>35211998
>>35214661
Are you that chink who lusted after qt white girls but could only settle for another chink?
Is this my future?

>>35211914
Person I was in love with
Cant say my life was great before but I changed after what happened between us. I lost trust in people. Feel worthless and ugly. I cry randomly throughout the day which is pathatic but I feel hurt. Typing this out I sound like some overdramatic little shit. I used to always be alone, I was used to it. Its been a month now so I hope with time I will just get more numb. It doesnt help that I am at home always without school/work, so it's on my mind all day

someone on /jp/ said my waifu would never like me, because I refused to hope she "wins" the love of the protagonist. That was the starting point that made me weak. Then after a lot of other internet mean shit targeting my most vulnerable areas with all they had mostly from /mlp/, it became enough that it made me into a more empathetic, kind and understanding person. Really made me think.

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>>35211914

I don't know, but thinking about what made me a piece of shit just prolongs the cycle of pain. Sometimes I will spend days-worth of time just thinking about the past, replaying it over and over again, trying to retrace my steps and undo what wronged me.

As if talking about it has made it any better. I've been here for a couple years now, have close friends who know me inside-out, but nothing changes. I just want to be free from this pain. I'm very tired of life being a trek of monotony and disappointment every single damn day.

There are many fucked up things in my past, but most people have had it worse. I'm sick of being a special snowflake pity case and I don't want anyone's pity anymore.

Emotionally? Probably my friend who said that I was irredeemable and that he wished he never met me.

>>35211914
classmates/ 'friends'
>be kinda normal boi
>have friends
>have them discover you have an anger problem
>have them turn into asses who constantly provoke you just to laugh at your anger
>have a attention whore become the crush of one of the only 'true' mates you have
>have him turn into the biggest ass in hope of pussy
>have him never get pussy and try harder and harder, eventually ending in him starting a fist fight with you
>punch the fuck outta that little shit
>get temporarily suspended from school
>have everybody hate you because of lies he spread afterwards
Should i have punched him to death? The fucking shitlord deserved it

my ex boyfriend, turned out to be a trap with several different personalities, 2 years of my life wasted & permanent emotional damage. i don't think i will ever truly believe that someone loves/cares about me again.
i'm still bitter almost a year after the break up, since he never bothered to give me any closure. he cheated on me, and when i found out he simply said that he didn't love me anymore.

the wanting him back phase passed very quickly, now i just want him to pay for doing what he did, he took advantage of a good person. i was a good person, but now i am nothing. i was worthless and i am worthless, even a truly broken person can see that. i'm surprised i've made it this long without killing myself to be perfectly honest.

>>35211914
Eh probably my mom and bullying, nothing too bad.

>>35214345
There are good junkies and bad junkies, however a woman will always be a woman. Junkies have lines they choose not to cross, and women will just never give a shit about you.

>>35219023
KiII yourseIf, normaIfaggot.

>no father
>no mother
>raised by a stupid grandmother

>>35219066
my little cousin will probably end like that
>no father(semen donation bank)
>mother doesn't fucking care
>grandma is nice and all but not fit to parent a 6 year old with ADHD

>>35219094
Well, hopefully his mother doesn't burn coal and pop out 3 mulattos like mine did. While I never had her as a mother I still know her and and blame my grandmother for ever letting me know who my mother was.

>>35219065
you first :^) originally 3o4inklfre34ikonrf

>bullied from kindergarten to grade six
>had no real friends (the two I "had" hated me and I hated them)
>got my first crush on a qt in grade 6
>told aforementioned "friends"
>told her
>she never spoke to me again
>followed her to a new middle school but she didn't even go
>no friends there either
>girls made fun of me right there in class for being ugly and socially awkward
>slightly more "friends" in high school but they were pretty much just in proximity
>asked out a girl called Catherine for the first time when I was 15
>5/10 chunk girl but she was always nice to me and we were both nerds
>accepted the date, kinda awkward, no kiss or hug at the end
>texted her later that day to apologize for being weird and stated I wanted to do it again
>she said she would like to too
>don't hear from her for a week and a half
>ask her if she's still up for another date via text
>she ignores me then texts me on my birthday calling me weird and she never wants to see me again
>find out a few months later she was spreading rumours about me to her friends and talking shit about me on twitter
>starts dating a 10/10 hockey star Chad a few weeks later

Never asked a girl out after, and has fostered my paranoia of everyone. Got extremely depressed, pondered suicide, and have fostered hatred for that whore since.

>>35214390

LOL
>>>/v/

>meant to be in a small autistic friend group of 4
>one dude and i dont get along really but put up with it, like the other 2 so much idc
>starts full on bullying me, I fire some shots back initially
>starts being nice to me when and doing gay shit with me
>i take it to make it easier for everyone and I liked the positive affection at first
>escalates, threatens to kill me, tell other friends that I hurt them etc if i dont comply
>go along with this shit for 4 years

I know, i was dumb but I was a kid

>eventually tells the school that i did this to them all this time
>cant defend myself, just cry uncontrollably
>whole school thinks im a monster
>no friends, no nothing
>my family has no idea why the mother of the guy is harassing them, i cant speak up
>live in shame and fear until school is over

I only just told my mum about this a few months ago, she had no clue it was that bad

I saw the guy the other day, he just looked through me like im nothing. No fake friendly smile, no anger, just nothing

I want to fucking die senpai, I've never worked through this shit and I didnt really process it at the time and its all hitting me now that im speaking to a counsellor

wtf do i do with this

>>35211914
I am not "This Way"

I've come to realize that certain people are just born better at life.
Just like how some races are better at swimming and basketball than others, I am a part of a genetic fuckup that can't get laid or find a suitable way to be useful to society.

Maybe when more people are born, I'll have better luck, but I'm most likely gonna be a genetic dead-end.

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>>35212390
you're the first anon i meet who is an actual good human with a good heart, keep on with it, would be a shame to loose it.
I actually feel incredibly sorry for you

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>>35211914
I've been my own worse enemy my entire life, and I might eventually die by my hands.

>>35220251
i know that feel, familia

im a master of self-sabotage but im the first one to complain that I'm not getting anything done

>>35211914
A girl named Lauren
She dragged me around for four years and then still married her shitty boyfriend.

Now she's married and had a baby with him.

I've been this way my entire life. Just angry and afraid. I have no idea why. No one in particular made me this way and I had a pretty easy childhood. Yes, I did get bullied but who didn't? I honestly think it might be from subconscious memories from being circumcised as a baby.

Don't think anything made me this way really, was just always kinda not right, probably fucked up in the head somehow from birth, no surprise considering I almost became a potato due to ingested water and some other shit.

The one who hurt me most is the one who made me find out what being happy is like. Now I know what being sad is like. I'm working on feeling empty again, better than sad.

>>35212056
Lmao yeah man you're a social failure because your mom you in a public school. Meanwhile thousands of socially normal kids pass through any number of shitty public schools

>>35211914
I fucked things up with my ex, I told her to move on from me if she didnt like me. She didnt break up with me and just drags the whole thing out talking too me less and less saying she still wants me when in reality it looks like she definitely does not. It just made the breakup we were going too have much more long and painful than it should have been and it made me fall into depression and drinking and cutting as a result at my worst. I hate her in a way for dragging it out so long especially if she knew how into her I was. But then I still love her and I still cant get over it.

My first and only gf. Completely ruined me

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>>35211914
I was molested when I was a kid by another kid my age, he was my only "friend" and it turned out he only wanted to fuck me. Have a father who ditched when I was around 6 years old, have a mother who abused me and only stopped doing it about 3 years ago.
Never had anyone who truly called me a friend during my adolescence. Not even hated by anyone, just so insignificant to them all it wasn't even worth acknowledging me at all.
Never properly learned how to cope with anything that's happened to me, shitty therapists/psychiatrists who didn't give a fuck about anything other than their paychecks.
That's a bit of it for ya anon.

>>35221812
I can reallly relate to a lot of your post
I'm sorry you went though that, it's incredibly hard to process

I have days where I can't identify with what went at all and days where i feel like its drowning me and its still happening

>>35213990
That's me right there.

I remember when I was a little kid, watching my parents/aunts/uncles sit around for hours gabbing endlessly about tons of different things. As a kid, all I could do was just sit and watch. I always assumed that the ability to engage in conversation like that was an "adult" thing, and eventually I would be able to participate in conversations like that when I got older. It never happened.

As an adult, I mostly have nothing to say to anyone, other than "yes" or "no" answers to questions. About the only time I can ever say more than one sentence at a time is if someone asks me to explain how some technical thing works. But there's no way I could ever just have a casual conversation with people -- it's hugely mentally challenging to me to figure out what to say in informal conversations, so I usually just fall silent. As a result, I don't "make friends". I'm just an acquaintance.

For a long time I wondered if I has Asperger's or something like that. But after all the reading I've done on Asperger's, the symptoms don't seem to match up with my experience. (For example, I don't have any problem at all reading other people's emotions or state of mind.) I think I'm just on the ultra extreme end of the spectrum of being shy and introverted and quiet.

>>35211914

>be me, in kindergarten
>having a fun time, making lots of good friends
>meet this girl
>for privacy sake let's call her Maya
>me and Maya become good friends, best friends really
>ask her if she wants to be by gf
>she said yes
>neither of us have any idea how the proper bf/gf situation should go since we're both basically toddlers
>one day during gym she kisses me in front of the whole class
>I immediately hated it, and all of the other boys would make my life a living hell for this
>eventually everyone outcast me because of this kiss
>even Maya
>taking it really hard
>come home every day crying
>hatinglife.jpg
>mom pulls me out of school because I'm so heartbroken
>tfw I realize Maya is probably behind %90 of my psychological problems today.

>>35221842
that means a lot anon, i have those days too, and it actually really helps knowing i'm not alone with this shit

>>35222292
You're definitely not alone, I know how it feels though. It's so hard to push through. Sometimes its not even a case of 'getting better' but just accepting and understanding how you feel, I say 'just a case of' but y'know.

I can't tell you when it'll 'get better' or by how much but things change, feelings change over time regardless of what you do with it

i did this to myself

i dont even know why

File: welp.jpg (14KB, 255x231px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 255x231px

>>35211914
social isolation during youth
high performance step siblings(phd, high incomes) that I could never match, leading to parental disappointment
Forcing myself to do things I hated to try and gain their approval

>>35212390
>"Youre not usefull to me anymore"

That's a pretty cruel thing for her to say. That's just not normal. That's something a severely damaged person would say.

> gone off the rails and had taken herion, lsd, coke, slept aroubd sent porn of herself to random guys, slept with over 20 people in a week, ended up stealing and assaulting

Yep, that's what a severely damaged person looks like.

> massive distrust of women

You had the bad luck of encountering a one-in-a-hundred extreme example of a severely damaged girl. There is pretty much a zero probability that the next girl you meet will be that messed up. It's okay to have a little distrust at first before you get to know someone well. But massive distrust is not logical, and it will be responsible for keeping you alone.

>>35222557
i feel like this dude is scared to invest time into someone else/ allow himself to be vulnerable around someone again and has taken that to mean he feels distrust for women in general but yeah, sound post my dude