>the electrician saw the cum dimension

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>lawn mexican found the homemade shit centrifuge

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>archdioceses found the diarrhea diaries

>>35207298
>>35207476
>>35207523
Wtf r thos

>>35207523
Spicy rhymes, Anon

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>keebler elf peeked in the poop pantry

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>parole officer intercepted the repurposed pikachu plushy

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>cousin found the cum compartment

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>the foreskin gnome and the rectum gnome are fighting again

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>sister found the "her panties" boxes

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>rape dwarf escaped the cum closet

>Apartment below me is flooding from something
>Maintenance guy has to go into my closet to check the water heater
>Completely forgot I had all my pantsu and dildos laying in plain view in there until after he left
Never made a maintenance call for the remainder of the lease

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>Auntie found the rectal toothbrush

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>wife's boyfriend found the dead indian

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>mommy made me clean the mounds of messy milk

>be 11
>scared shit of girls
>scrubby looking raggamuffin
>was into sailor moon
>get into RPing on AOL chat
>have "makeout sessions" via the cyber
>mom finds my chat history
>sees my aol profile where I pretend to be Darren, aka Tuxedo Mask
>on a seperate occasion
>dad catches me point blank masturbating to doujin covers that I'm looking at on ebay
>makes me go to confession

I've never recovered. I don't even remember what I told the priest.

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>Second cousin found the Seltzer Beltzer

>>35207866
Did you get drugged by the priest and subsequently molested with no memory of anything out of ordinary happening whatsoever?

>>35207866
Also

>be 17
>helping some slutty 30 something year old Stacy move
>found gig on craigslist
>realize she's a total whore when me and my buddy move her "brand new" Ikea headboard and realized its all scuffed up on the back
>she asked us not clean her bathroom, tub and all
>not fucking it

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>the Illuminati foiled my trip to the black sun

>>35207907
No. The priest was behind a wall with only a small window, that was covered by an opaque cloth. I didn't even know what priest I was speaking with

>personal gypsy weaved the spell to unleash the cum tulpa

>>35207941
I'm very happy for you anon, did that experience help you quit hentai?

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>be 12
>helping grandmother clean basement
>find a rubber bag with a hose hanging in the closet
>nana, whats this?
>oh, that's justva douchebag honey
>tfw I handled my grandma's douche

>>35207982
I lost my virginity at 13 to the new girl in town. That made me swear off 2d.

>>Auditors found the off balance sheet debt.

>>35208010
ah yes, the classic "big fat lie" part of the story

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>be me
>dig in closet
>see old cardboard
>tfw it's a old project from my first year of community college
>it was a what do you want to do in 10 years thing
>tfw i had a house,career, and family in there
>7 years pass
>tfw live with my parents and shit resume no degree

>niggers found the Tawana Brawley

>>35208010
Congratulation anon, I lost mine at 13 but to a hooker. I can somewhat feel fine because she's pretty and in her early 20s.

>>35208088
It's true nigger. I'm no robot. I have 2 kids.

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>The ZOG stopped my permaculture

>>35208116
how fucking old are you?

originale

>>35208094
You act like you still can't do anything when you actually can. You just keep delaying it every month/year.

>>35208194
28. My kids are 4 years and 8 months

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>>35208210
>You just keep delaying
I don't know how to stop doing this shit.

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>pharmacologist found my rubbin' rooster

>president found the guaca bowle

>>35207298

Wew this gave me a good laugh. "Cum dimension." Like it has a hilarious absurdity to it.