>late night melancholy feeling Why are you feeling this way, anon?

>>35205564
A girl I like doesn't feel the same about me.

>known her for 12 years or so
>couple years older than me
>tried to ask her out 10 years ago and got friendzoned
>finished high school
>I go to Uni and don't see her much for a few years
>graduated
>she has a kid now
>she's still a sweet girl
>think maybe things have changed
>try to tell her I like her again
>get instantly re-friendzoned
>always tells me how great I am
>but I know I'm still worse in her eyes than the abusive guys she's been wih

I can't even be the man she'd settle for.

>>35205564
The better question is why aren't I feeling this way? I love this feeling, it's one of my favorite feelings. But it's gone and I'm afraid it's forever.

I want to die but I won't kill me fucking self and now it's almost 4 AM and I'm listening to old Gorillaz songs and I can't fucking sleep.

I don't know. Feelings are just stupid chemicals, why bother rationalizing them?

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>>35205564
Just worried about my future
>moving out of my current place to a city a couple hours away in August
>no job or apartment lined up there yet
>plan to move in with a friend but not sure how it will turn out
>worried I may not get security deposit/good reference from my current place
>have to deal with the emotional damage of leaving this city

Could be much worse (probably is for someone here) but this is my first solo-move and I'm trying not to lose sleep over it

>>35205953
Because I need to know how these stupid chemicals work so I can direct my stupid meat vehicle how it's supposed to go to make my stupid shit and short existence less shit, that's why anon.

Drinking and hating my job.
Got called in early today and had to stay an hour late just to make ends meet. In the end all I did it for was 30 extra bucks so I can buy a gram of wax and dab my troubles away.
I really do hate my job, but I have no degree or skills or even interest in anything. I hate working but I live alone so I have to support myself.

At the moment I'm in an interesting position. For the past month or so I've been going to an open mic that my oneitis works at every Wednesday, and I've been posting about her here since then. I've been coming to the conclusion that I'm probably not her type due to some pretty unenthusiastic text conversations so I don't even attempt to ask her out (we walked around a really shitty mall and saw John Wick on Valentines and I had my arm around her, that's about the extent of it).

Recently I've also been talking to an old friend, who is also a female who I was at one point attracted to. She seems really happy when she texts me, probably because we haven't talked in a pretty long time (a couple years at least). I mentioned that I really wanted to sing City Of Stars with someone and she said she'd be totally down for that. We're gonna try doing that over Spring Break at that Open Mic.

I got to thinking just a while ago: Am I using City Of Stars girl as a rebound if there isn't any explicit romantic attraction there? I just want to get over Open Mic girl.

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>>35205564
I want to drop everything and commit my life to vidya, porn, and junk food but I don't want to be a fat fuck. I wish that I could exist outside of a body so that I could enjoy tasty treats without feeling disgusted with myself. This shit keeps me up at night. I'm pretty skinny now, but I feel like a fatbot stuck in a skelly body

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>>35205564
I'm only 22, so I think I'm not that far gone yet, even if it has been really long since I didn't felt lonely or like a failure. However, I see other people my age who have achieved so much already. Some of them even landed good jobs, got married and started having children. How do they do it? I have gone to lots of jobs interviews, but in the last two years no one has hired me for longer than one week. I guess you can always try harder, but I do try. The worst thing is that the longer this goes on, the worse it'll get, but I don't know how to stop it. I just don't know how to insert myself into society. I feel so fucking isolated.

Graduated a year ago with STEM degree, everyone got jobs but I never managed to get one. Still sending apps but only get a interview like once every 2 months. Just give me any basic stem shitso I can atleast start on the path instead of having to give up before even experiencing it once.

It doesn't matter how hard I try to replicate normie behavior to experience their way of life, I just can't reach their level. I'm too self-aware, it's always me and them, never us.

In my life I've gotten just one friend who kind of understood me, but I haven't seen him in years and I last texted him months ago.

Truth is I don't care much for all that social bullshit, I just want to experience and understand. Every time I get close to the solution, it always ends up being a dead end. It's like I didn't get all the memos on how to socialise and now I fell behind and can't recover.

I always did things In my own way, why would I do it any other way? I've never had to rely on other people unlike most normies.

I'm fine with being a loner, I just want to understand,

Still a bit hung up over recent ex. I know she doesn't care about me anymore, and things just reinforce that, but I can't stop coming back to memories of us. I'm not actually as comfy as I look most of the time. Her snap tonight was weird, and fuck I projected and i like to think it was her realizing that she shouldn't have kicked me to the curb. No chance in hell that it is, though. I want to talk to her again.

>>35206187
I remember that. if the convos are unenthusiastic, then it's prob a good thing that you stopped. Conversation is incredibly important. AS for the City of Stars girl, you probably are. But you aren't if you don't start anything, she might just be hyped to reconnect with you. but I don't know your life. if all you're looking for is a distraction for OM girl though, then by all means go for CoS girl.

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My parents are divorcing and I might be moving back to shithole Pennsylvania. I don't know how to feel about the divorce because nothing like this has happened before.

I lost the ability to form meaningful relationships with people somewhere along the way. I'm completely clueless in social situations. I'm so alone that even those I feel closest to regard me as nothing but an afterthought. I don't think I've had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone in my life. My depression is at an all time worst and I have no one to vent my problems to.

And I'm starting to get acne for the first time in my life.

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>>35206648
I just remember the last ex I had broke up with me because I was a rebound, which I ended up getting really creepy after that and it kinda made me into a robot for a good while. I'm only recently stepping out of it, and I'd for someone to feel as I did.

Here's a comparison of the two, in conversations I had concurrently. This is OM...

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>>35206899
*hate for someone to feel as I did.

And this is CoS

>>35206899
>>35206899
Yeah you're right. also know how being a rebound feels, shit sucks. Damn, your convo with OM seems like my own convos with my ex.

The difference def shows. A thing to keep in mind is that people show interests in different ways, not just through text but then it can become a mind game which we all know is shitty. Another thing is that not every girl you can have good convos with have to have a romantic connotation yknow? Like, it can just be super chill. Whatever happens happens

>>35207363
Yeah, a coworker of OMs who I talk with says she tends to lead people on so I can feel that mind game thing. Also I don't know if I'd want to feel romantically towards CoS so if this ends up being platonic that's actually fine by me.

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>oneitis who I've been obsessed with for three months has a bf
>don't know how to get closer to her
>even if I did and she broke up with him I'd just be the rebound guy in the best-case scenario

>>35205564
I'm in love with a girl on Facebook I randomly added a few months ago. She's everything I ever wanted in a girl but I'm too shy to start chatting to her. Also, I'm lying about my age because I look considerably up younger than I am. She definitely wouldn't like me if she knew how old I am.

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>tfw horrible tooth ache
>khhv

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>>35205564
>I'm home schooled now
>At home 24/7
>No drivers license
>Never talk to my friends
>Friends never talk to me
>Miss my friends
>great memories we had

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I've been a recluse all my life but managed to be somewhat of a normalfag in uni. I've just graduated and realized you can only get so far in life if you don't have connections and lots of friends. My life would be one of struggle and I'm okay with that.

awake after spending night snorting amphetamine and masturbating

don't know whether to just stay awake or drink myself to sleep.

feel v. depressed.

I just want to leave this town and change everything about my life, but I've not got any money or anything.

>>35208681

if it helps girls are usually into men that are older than them.