>tfw you will never be Geralt of Rivia. Why even live bros?

where's that anon who modded geralt to look like a complete faggot

>>35194652
geralt looks like an edgy /v/ fgt desu
dont rlly know y ppl love him so much

>>35194900
thi negro srs?

>>35194868
/r/ing those pics

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>>35196406
Is it this you're talking about?

>>35194652
Would you drink the mutagenic potion that witchers take if it guaranteed you some fancy powers at the cost of not just sterility but also complete erectile dysfunction?

You still have need for gf and can get aroused but can never get it up. Part of the mutation makes you immune to viagra.

>>35196495
yes

very original content

>>35196549
>complete erectile dysfunction

Uh.

Not how it works. He can still have sex and get erect. Just can't have children.

>>35196549
I would, the sign axii would be extremely useful. You could get anything you wanted. Also you would be immune to every illness.

>>35196549
Is it actually like the trial of the grasse in that only like 3/10 people survive it?

>>35196643
I know. That why I said "but ALSO complete erectile dysfunction".

Get with it, anon.

>>35196647
Except witcher signs aren't gained through the trials, they're basic magic that is more or less bound to the hand signals
It's the same as casting a weak spell except the witcher doesn't need the words of power

>>35196650
Nah, I'll make it a bit easier. You will definitely pass and you'll get the strength, speed and senses but lose dick function. You don't lose sexual desire, just dick function.

If you're gay then your butt doesn't work anymore.

>>35196684
I thought the trial was needed in order to use signs? I remember hearing something about that.

>>35196680
Then, no. A heterosexual man's (like me) biological imperative, even if he's a witcher, would be to have sex and impregnate a woman. If I can't even do that I'd just end up an incredibly depressed mess or go insane after 10-20 years of being a witcher, maybe even sooner than that.

>>35196778
Fuck yeah I would then, who needs dick function when you've got the sensory system of an adhd 6yo

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>>35194652
When I was younger I was thinking why world of warcraft is not a real thing, I would be badass and shit living da life

but after years I realized that even if world of warcraft was our real world I would end up as some fucking 4lvl peasant in the middle of nowhere where I would be ganked everyday by some random chads while working as lumberjack.

Loosers are looser no matter where you are.

Yeah Geralt is pretty hot, not so much because of his looks (looks a little like a lizard to me, desu) but because hes a easy-going chill dude and hes a good father-figured/dad.

>>35196793
It is but it isn't the trial that automatically gives them the ability to use signs, the trials just allow them to use the small bit of magic required for the signs iirc
Since as far as I remember there are only female (non-elven) mages

>>35196904
I think he's supposed to be ugly. Pretty sure he's ugly in the book series. He was fairly below average in the first game. But, as usual, he got popular so they had to give him a make-over.

>>35196896
This is what I think about, I always think I will be the badass mutant monster slayer that fucks sorceresses. But I'd just be some random town person.

>>35196968
Geralt is supposed to be attractive in the books and in the games, he always has females interested in him. And there's always dialogue in the game from NPCs saying he is handsome or a pretty boy ect.

>>35196968
Well considering how he's scarred to shit yeah he's ugly as fuck in the books, face-wise atleast anyways

>>35197025
Daily reminder that the author himself said the games aren't canon and may be considered as nothing more than fan fiction (which they are considering all the games are stories being told by dandelion at a tavern somewhere)

>>35197025
The women like him because he's a dangerous rogue and a hero, and if they fuck him then there's no chance they'll get pregnant so their farmer husband will never suspect.

>>35196968

eh, you are probably right. But I find Geralt to be a lot hotter and less boring than the average viyda chad. Maybe hes just better written or maybe its because they didn't write him like another jaded emotionally stunted prick who is a-social but still manages to get fucked and has a large and devoted following. I mean Im pretty sure its stated that witchers have lessened emotions than the average person and they still managed to make him more interesting than 99.99% of vidya game protagonists.

>>35197235
It's because he's a good human bean, and is always faced with tough decisions that always aren't black or white.

>>35197286
This. He a good boy, he never hurt anyone.

>>35197464
He never hurts anyone that doesn't deserve it, people just try to make him look bad because he's a Witcher.

>>35194652
Literally wojak, starring in Feels: the game

>>35194652
Geralt lives in a nightmarish hellworld where horrifying abominations are lurking around every corner, why the hell would anyone want to live there? It's a miracle that basic non-magical humans are able to survive at all

>>35197751
I think in the books it's not that bad, monsters are pretty rare which is why he has so much trouble finding work. But that wouldn't make a fun or interesting video game.

>>35197792
Yeah, there's a bit of a disconnect with the story as described and the gameplay, where you run into "just a flesh wound" zombies ten meters outside the smallest of villages

>>35196495
Why though? He looks like a poofter

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>>35194652
>tfw when you fucked Keira Metz and then killed her

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who /Yennefer/ here?

>>35197869
That's a problem with most games. Especially the ones that level-scale, where eventually a town guard can take on an army of ogres, single-handedly.
A bizarre world of chaos and madness.

>>35196495
This is more along the lines of what I imagined him looking like in the books (pretty boy), cause bitches are always creaming their panties over him

>>35198092

yen and triss are honestly super bitchy, manipulative and treat geralt like shit. Explain why you all find them so attractive besides them being 10/10 physically?

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>>35198092
I picked her because she had the lewdest outfit and I was thinking with my dick
>black boots that go past the knee
criminal

>>35198246
because Geralt is honestly super bitchy, manipulative and treats people like shit.

>>35196549
Yes. I'm the anon who plays the game everyday to brush up on my social skills, so I can appear to be heroic like Geralt. The potions don't induce erectile dysfunction either. Rather they make you emotionless to the point where your neutrality makes you seem indifferent; which is why edgy girls love Witcher's.

>>35198207
he wasnt pretty in the books, what are you talking about

>>35198207
Women will fuck the gruff, manly vanilla geralt over this faggot.

>>35198246
because women are like that IRL

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>ywn be a Gundam pilot
>mfw

>>35194652
Which armor is that?

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>tfw you'll never be Guts
FFFUUUCCCKKK

>>35194652
>You will never be the storebrand ripoff of Elric of Melnibone
Feels pretty good actually

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>>35200885
Holy fucking shit that feel hurts
Guts is so cool

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>ywn be shinji
feels somewhat bad, man

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>>35200902
There's only one thing left to do then.
Post Guts

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>>35198072
>Tfw you fuck Keira and let lambert have your leftovers.

Little asshole can have that annoying slut.

>>35200869
The starting armor of the witcher 3

>>35196896
Losers are people spell loser as "looser"

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>>35198886
I do this too, sometimes I try acting like Geralt while talking to people. And whenever my dog is barking I make the axii handsigns and pretend to calm him. And I always look over my shoulder like Geralt does.

>>35200885
Who would win in a fight? Guts or Geralt of Rivia?

>>35202296
With or without boats?

>>35198072
Keira Metz and her posh British accent and bitchy personality made my dick like diamonds.
I was so sad when I killed her.

>>35202516
Why did you kill her then?

>>35202606
The last dialogue option was something like "I can't let you do this" and I didn't know it was gonna start a fight and I'm not gonna load my last save like a bitch.

I mean, he's considered a freak / outcast by most normies in the Witcher world anyway, sure

Not much different from the roboto

Except usually we can't fight / are ugly

i tried playing witcher 2 and got bored within 10 hours. the gameplay is fucking terrible

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>tfw i will never be nerevar

>>35202714
I only stopped playing because my PC a total shit and can only run it in windowed

also the gameplay was kind of eh too ngl

>you killd the botch by potatopeeler the dead living before fucking

>tfw

>>35202651
Honestly I'd go back and slay her, but Lambert just needs someone to love him.

>>35202516
I just want to ram her up against a wall, rip off her dress, and strangle the bitch whilst cumming inside her

FUCKK

>>35202651
Way to cuck Lambert from getting sorceress pussy

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>>35200885
Being Guts is suffering though


BLACKED

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>>35202919
Keria Metz is made for Witcher cock only.

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>>35194652
>not roaming the countryside killing Drowners and Blodzuiger for a few orens

>>35194652
>implying im still a beta who plays video games
>tfw the only reason i come to r9k is to see how shit my life was b4