Post funny/retarded shit you did in school

>>35190725
>fat
you did good son

>everything
>post original comment on /r9k/

if there was a note on a door saying to go to a different room i changed it with a different room number

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>>35190725
Wait, that isn't just a part of the game?
People pwned me with dodgeballs to the face all the time and never apologized at my school.

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dodgeball is a game of asserting dominance, making others feel and above all, throwing your ball at the fat chick in class as hard as you can.

You did good anon

>>35190875
The class I'm with in phys ed are probably more retarded than me. We had to change the rules of volleyball because I kept kicking their asses.

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>>35190875
Stop 'criminating 'fore I dominate yo ass, playa.

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>>35190725
>be me
>lunch time
The bell for the next class in my school wasn't like your standard bell, it was more like 3 loud consecutive tones like "BOOOP BOOOP BOOOP"
>learned to mimic that sound perfectly
>would troll the entire cafeteria of normies by doing the sound 10 minutes early
>inb4 how could they hear you
Cafeterias are usually loud as fuck, so the genuine bell sounds muffled. I sat at a table with a group of robot friends who all knew I did it, so I'd do it loud as fuck.
>mfw faggot normies would get up thinking it was the bell
>mfw faggot staff would get triggered and tell em to sit back down, since they had watches and knew when the bell actually rings

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>>35190725
>2nd grade
>girl keeps following me around and annoying me at recess
>punch her in the face and she starts crying

>>35191433
Kek, some friend used to pull this shit in history class (everybody hated the teacher), and even she would fall for it. We would often get 30 extra minutes of break.

>>35190725
>be me 10 years ago
>16 yo awkward teen
>hardly any friends, sit alone playing old FF games on your cell phone
>the school organises a christmas event
>there will be a singing contest
>this is the moment I'll show everyone how fun I really am
>show up in drag and sing "last christmas" as a joke

it ended just the way you imagine

>>35191533
>senior year of hs
>school has singing competition
>pretty good singer despite never performing so I audition
>get in somehow
>the night comes, I get on stage
>so nervous I could puke
>limbs literally shaking, can barely hold onto the mic
>voice uncontrollably wavers throughout the song, sounding like shit
>on top of that I had no feedback monitor or anything so I could barely hear the music
>now singing off beat with shaky voice in front of hundreds
>judges rip into me on stage and nobody else

Fuck you guy I'm still a good singer

>>35191567
Yo, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...

Op i did the exact same thing

>>35190725
>7th grade
>notice a lot of unlocked combination locks on the lockers, think nothing of it
>one day I see someone stealing some unlocked locks
>decide I want to take part
>stuff every unlocked lock I see in my pockets for months
>stop after they acknowledge my deeds over the intercom

I still have all the locks 12 years later haha

I am probably literally retarded and/or have undiagnosed autism
>developed empathy late as shit, was like 10+ when i first realised i was hurting people and learned of consequences for my actions
>would punch other kids without provocation and steal from their backpacks whenever i had the chance, acted aggressively towards teachers
>made some of the lonelier kids think i was their friend and then beat them up/humiliate them in different ways
>dumb curling parents insisted i could do nothing wrong despite being just as bad at home
>had to speak to the counselor and attend certain meetings to discuss my behaviour, but nothing really came out of it
>was on really thin ice for a while after throwing disabled kid out of wheelchair and breaking it
>eventually grew out of this kind of behaviour
I still feel really fucking bad whenever I see one of those kids and they greet me like nothing ever happened in elementary

>>35190725
>18 degrees Celsius in class
>start complaining its cold
>nag math teacher for 30 minutes
He snapped and made my whole class run around the school 5 times, fun times indeed

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>be me in 6th grade
>was part of an group who loved WWE
>we watched it every day and Wrestled each other
>every break we would gather and have 1v1 wrestling matches in the hallway
>I was the unbeatable heavy weight champion
>one day I got matched against this skinny retarded kid
>Batista slammed the shit outta him
>Broke his arm
>They put me in a class where all the wheelchair retards/autistic faggots went to
>my life was never the same

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>>35190725
>be me
>in 6th grade computer class
>my teacher is a complete asshat
>decide to get back at her for humiliating me infront of the class for putting my bookbag on the table
>mind starts chugging
>her last name is mccurious
>open mspaint while she steps out of the room to go pick up some papers from the office and find a picture of curious george i could put her face on
>mccurious george is born
>grabbed a usb stick and put it as her desktop background
>she absolutely loses her fucking mind, sets a bounty of a whopping 5 dollars on evidence leading to who did it the next day
>mfw nobody ever found out

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>>35191653
Kill yourself,you fucking nigger!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35191754
>McCurious George
Brilliant

>>35191815
i am european and ethnic to the country I was born in, not a nigger. I also said I feel remorse for what I did

>>35191754
>5 dollars to find the prankster
The reward is completely shit like she could have made it at least a round number like 10. Fucking greedy bitch. Also good job,Anon. You are doing God's work.

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>>35190725
>be 5th grade in elementary school
>playing tag af recess
>3rd and fourth graders have their own baseball field to play on (got in loads of trouble if you went on it as a 5th grader)
>this little cunt keeps running into the field where I can't go
>get fucking pissed and tackle this kid into the woodchips
>he lays there for a sec with tears in his eyes
>offer my hand to help him up
>mfw he never told on me
>mfw I made a bro for all the way until high school

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>>35191970
He is a keeper.

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>be me
>winter in first grade
The playground has a tiny hill we would slide down
>eating peanut m&ms on the way back up the hill
>girl asks me for some
>give her some because sharing is caring
>"these are good anon, what are they?"
>tell her
>she's fucking allergic to peanuts

>>35192272
First grade roastie BTFO

>playing british bulldogs
>blonde roastie kike joins in for le attention
>trip her and dont think about it and run to the other side
>next thing I know she is crying and some braindead chads in the year above whiteknight for her
>they pick me up and drop me on the ground
>apologize to her while everyone crowds round

>now she is with her gyp balding boyfriend who is almost bald in his twenties

>>35192763
I miss when apologizing fixed everything

>>35191653
I was the same and I only developed empathy in my late teens. i didnt hurt people because I was super quiet but I was the most socially retarded person ive met

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>class with mexinigger (hafu) missionary teacher
>something about varying opinions/cultures
>calls on me for whatever
>"uh well, it's like the great german saying...
>'und mancher findet es geil ein arschloch zu sein'"
>wut
>"you know, like...some find it cool to be an a-hole"
>meant it as "different strokes for different folks"
>he thinks I called him an asshole
>get kicked out for the first and only time (senior year, no less)
>too embarrassed to go back the next day
>immediately go to office and switch classes

perk of being a meek top-percentile senior female student is it was easy to get favors done in the office by sympathetic middle-aged counselor ladies.

>be in 5th grade
>my 2 friends were real dickasses
>one was a fat ginger and the other was a scrawny indian boy
>they played this game where they just step on pencils while they stick them straight up
>some how they manage to split the pencil in two
>one day they were both absent
>decide to try and smash a pencil like they did
>goes straight through my shoe and pierces my foot
>had to go to the ER and missed 3 days of class
>play it off as I accidentally stepped on a pencil

To this day I have yet to tell anyone I stepped on the pencil on purpose.

Not only that but one of the days I was off from class, the neighbors boat/generator/something I don't remember malfunctioned as I was still recovering and had the potential to explode. I had to hot foot it to a safe area with a hole still in my foot.

>>35190725
>be me
>hanging out with friend at night at the beach
>sneak under private boardwalk
>there's hundreds of dead horseshoe crabs
>get really fucking stupid idea for attention
>gather as many crabs as we can
>spend the rest of the night cleaning out the shells
>go to Wal-Mart to get free boxes
>wrap about 50 horseshoe crab christmas presents
>day before Christmas break, hour before school starts
>bring the gifts to store in teacher's room
>people start arriving and noticing gifts
>everybody wishing they got one
>tell them it's in the mail
>let the gifts sit there all day to build literal school-wide hype
>finally time to distribute gifts
>to our surprise everyone thinks it was the funniest thing
>even now horseshoe crabs are on display around the school

In the end I'm surprised it went that well; we had to deliver more crabs to normies on Christmas Eve.

Bomp for more retarded school stories.