Wheres the strangest place you've masturbated?

>>35175769
Public library.

fgwefgergerfgergerger

>>35175769
Hospital Kitchen's dry storage room
Hotel Front Desk
A Strangers bedroom

In the living room on the computer omw to school with my parents a couple of feet away.

>>35175769
the attic of a historical museum house in fairmount park

>>35175769
bathroom at work.
also one time masturbated at a sleepover after everyone else had gone to bed. it was at my house though so idk if that counts.

>>35175769
Standing up my parents' upstairs hallway whilst naked

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Girls restroom in High School

I'm a boy

about 10 meters underwater which also happened to be the first time I fapped

got a little story if anyone is interested

On one of those nature reserve island where you can't leave ANY litter while sitting on a drop toilet

On school camp

>>35176922
Yes plz
>>35175769
In the Woods.

Busy grocery store parking lot, was 13 and waiting in the car for my mom to finish shopping

Year 2002. A bathroom in a park.

I was a horny 16 year old and had actually printed off some favorite porn pictures and hidden them in a DnD folder since I had a 56K modem at home and no disks.

In my parents' living room.
While my father was taking a nap 2 meters away from me

Teachers Bathroom.
I was pretty horny, and this was the quietest place available to me.

>>35175769
my mom worked at a funeral home and I'd stay there late during visitations.
I only realised how fucked it was years later

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>>35175769
in a field on the way to pick up take-away

bathroom floor of a hotel with my parents in the other room

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>>35177052
okay here goes

>13 years old
>school had this system where you have to try a new sport twice a year for a week but you get to choose it
>first tried archery, enjoyed it
>second time I was sick the day we had to choose so the PE teacher chose for me
>fucking scuba diving, the one I didn't want
>first session
>get the diving equipement
>the suit is too tight, I have trouble breathing correctly
>already hate it
>we begin
>actually it's not so bad, the underwater landscape is gorgeous
>have some trouble swimming because i have a boner and the suit is bothering me, so the others go ahead and leave me behind
>well might as well look around while i catch up
>notice an octopus hanging on a rock
>think about what it would feel like if it was grabing my dick instead
>boner is now rock hard and really bothering me
>start stroking my dick through the suit
>this feels funny
>I can't stop, why does this feels so good
>starting to breath really fast
>our instructor told us to avoid doing that because it depleted the tank really fast
>hold my breath while stroking my dick
>stroke harder and faster
>cum
>starting to panic because i never experienced this and think this is due to the pressure
>calm down
>catch up with the group
>don't tell anyone what I did
>some days later
>finally understand what is masturbation
>think I invented in my mind the concept of tentacle porn
>load up google image to see if it's a thing
>nothing was the same after that day
>I'm now 21 and I still hold my breath while fapping

kinda rushed it but I have to go to work soon

Buenos Aires International Airport.

>>35177606
Did the cum stick to your swimsuit?

Middle school bathroom I guess.

>>35175769
A public stairwell in my college. Got caught by a maintenance worker too.

On a nature trail once. Not really that exciting.

>>35175769
On an international flight. This was like fifteen years ago pls no prosecute.

>>35177606

The fuck kind of rich bitch school did you go to where they offer scuba diving?

In a barber's chair while getting a hair cut

I had the black tarp over my body

>>35178405
Did you not get SCUBA lessons as a kid? You know, the sort that deal with PADI certifications?

>>35178256
When I came I felt something going through my dick, I though I was going to pee so I held it back real hard thinking it would stain the suit and it became an habit, just like holding my breath

So, yeah I never see semen coming out of my dick when I fap
It's kind of an advantage, I don't need tissues and my bedsheets are never stained

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>>35175769
when I was young and had no self-awareness I used to hold pic related to my crotch out in the open. i'd just cum in my underwear because i was autistic. if no one was around, i'd strip naked and do it out in the open

>>35175769
Empty school auditorium

>>35175769
In the public toilets opposite the Oakeley Arms hotel.

>>35175824
>a strangers bedroom
Do tell

>>35176914
Haha same
Don't even know why since bathrooms are kinda gross

An empty office in my dad's building while I stared at a secretary's uncomfortable eyes through the door.
(I was doing it under a desk, so in my mind it was 'concealed' but it was probably obvious; I was 12 and was, and am, a bit sick in the head.)

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>>35175769
In one of the most expensive hotels in the UK

I took the cover off the mattress and left a puddle there before covering it up, thought it was like leaving my mark on the other side of the planet I was the ripe old age of 15

>pic slightly related

at a gym, I was the only one there and the curtains were drawn so I rubbed one off real quick

this was about 10 years ago by now

>haven't set foot in a gym ever since

Train bathroom
Some black kid walked in on me
Luckily i don't think he and i were in the same sections of the train

Standing in front of my sister while she was asleep

>>35178878
>not cumming over her
beta male

>>35178938
I was taking advantage of the fact that I was young enough to have orgasms but wasn't producing cum. Onee-chan > imouto

i beat off off walking down a nature trail once

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>>35175769
Hotel bathroom, to pic related.

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>>35175769
Masturbated in my grandparents living room while

8th grade in French class ,with everyone around.

I stayed at my coworker's house after a night of drinking and masturbated in his guest bedroom.
I still feel ashamed.

Optometry room where they do the "one or two?" thing

Airplane toilet, went somewhere were porn was banned, so I used the wifi and did it then, cum was fucking everywhere

>>35175769
>19 years old
>deer hunting
>nothing is moving around
>decide to rub one out while up in my treestand
>bust my nutt off the treestand onto the ground
> see another hunter below me looking disgusted at what he just witnessed
>panic
>throw crossbow at other hunter
>he runs away
>spend the next 1/2 hour getting my dumb ass out of the woods with my busted crossbow.

>>35179376
Blender is that you?

>>35175769

college library bathroom

workplace bathroom

grandma's house

i was about to say in the toilets in high school but i just remembered i did masturbate right next to my little brother when i was like 13 and he was 7, we were both watching a movie in my bed and i started touching myself under the sheets because the actress turned me on
I stopped before cumming though, and my retarded brother didn't notice anything
fuck this is wrong

Didn't masturbate, but I fondled the breasts of a centuries old statue at a historic house that I was interning at.

Her marble boobs felt nice

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>>35175769
A church cemetery in the snow.

>>35175769
Anywhere would be the strangest place. Its not natural, get a girl friend and have sex

>>35175769
Probably right next to my best friend while we were playing huniepop in the middle of the night with a laptop we snook into my room. And then he fapped right next to me. And then we high fived.
Is this weird?

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>13
> coming back from 8th grade class trip
> we take a nice bus there and back
>Halfway I start stair at this 3.14's tits
> flagpoled in a matter of seconds
> run to tiny bathroom on the back of the bus
Yeah yeah nigger comment here
> didn't have any lube but there was hand sanitizer
> go to town
> finish
> walk out to see three people starring at me.
Apparently I'm a slow fapper because I was in there for like 50 minutes and made one girl cry because she had to use the bathroom

>>35175769
(when I was in fifth grade) School yard, in a swing, while talking to my friend who was in the swing next to me. Didn't even need my hands. I think you can imagine how that might happen

In a mental hospital, between night checks.

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>>35175769
bank basement
had to make a deposit

>park, at night
>mosque, in the bathroom

>>35178878
I've seen a Momless video that was just that
a shame it was deleted, I found it pretty interesting

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>>35175769
When I was a teen I worked a part time job at an elderly care full of nearly dead fucks too senile and rotted from dementia to even speak, I busted a nut in the break room one particularly challenging day

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>>35175769
Lol none of you have anything on me kiddos. After I learned how to fap in 7th grade I spent the last couple months literally cumming in my pants everyday during biology class (I wouldn't stroke but just applied pressure which after a time made me come). From what I remember there weren't even any hot girls in that class and the teacher was sort of milf tier but prett mediocre overall. I think it was just because it was right before lunch so I would have time to clean up my pants in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure no one ever noticed though, or at least no one ever led on to noticing, and no one ever bullied or teased me about it (I was being sort of bullied at the time, nothing serious but just teased and made to be a social outcast because I was skinny, very quiet, and acted a bit immature for my age, so if anyone knew im pretty sure they would've definitely used that as material).

The only time I'm pretty sure someone noticed was my history teacher on the last day of school who I noticed glancing in my direction as I applied pressure to my crotch area while practically staring at the gorgeous thighs and ass of this thicc ebony girl who was wearing what lone of those really tight volleyball short shorts. She was also a head taller then me which made it even hotter for me because I've kind of had a giantess fetish since the 4th grade.

Oh one time i managed to cum without touching my crotch area at all during an assembly when i was behind this girl I completely obsessed over. She was this this thicc as hell dirty blonde who was really athletic even though she really only participated in artsy stuff with a 10/10 face and my head literally came up to her tits (fuck puberty doots I miss being a cute little shota). Anyway the assmebly was held in the gym and we all sat on the gym floor because our school was shit. Anyway I really truthfully unintentionally sat directly behind her.

1/2 cont...

>>35175769
Alright laddies here goes.

>13
>Just found out what masturbating was and doing it daily
>Got really horny in the middle of a shopping centre
>Went to a McDonalds toilet
>Let rip
>The public setting made it harder to finish
>Took like 15 minutes in the only bathroom there
>Came out to see some guy waiting there impatiently
>Mfw I thought he's caught me
>Quickly left without washing my hands and just noped the fuck out

To this day I get nervous everytime I go into a McDonalds in case I see the guy again and he approaches me.

panda express bathroom, public restrooms with stalls, ceasar's palace, friend's house at like 4am. almost disneyland but the happiest place on earth doesn't deserve that

in my mom's room while she was sleeping
i was fapping to her of course

>>35180514
>forgot to say hotel room facing the window for the world to see me jerking off

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Probably the back seat of my grandparents van as we were stopped near some campgrounds. My raging teenage hormones could not be contained after seeing samus in her zero suit. Pic very much related. More recently though was the bathroom at my work. Does it mean anything if you have a day you are just so incredibly horny? I have no idea what triggered me to do so.

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>>35175769
The roof of a university, like the actual roof below the sky, it was kinda cool seeing people walk below

>>35175769
Oh yeah, I also fapped to shemale porn while I was in Jerusalem. Figures that buys me all-expense paid one-way ticket to hell.

>>35175769
elementary school bathroom

>>35175769
i've done it in many public bathrooms and never had to abort.

shortest was less then two minutes, although it felt like 20 seconds. I find it strangly comfy.

>>35175769
at a sleep over, sister invited her two friends over, one of them slept in my room with me (separate beds) because we ran out of room.

story if anyone wants to lend an ear

>>35175769
A bus.

>>35180713
post it my dude

>>35175769
An auditorium where a bunch of clubs were held at my college. It was empty and I thought I'd do something weird so I came on the floor near the sound equipment.

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>he can't preform the no hands masterbaton technique

>>35180713
pls do tell anon

>>35180319
Before I go further I'd like to also add that I'd literally been creeping on this girl for the previous two years as we were in the same French class. We also went to the same elementary school but she was a bit too chubby then and I wasn't even really into girls then. Also she wasn't a Stacy which was part of the appeal I guess. She probably ended up becoming one in highschool (I moved away after 7th grade unrelated to fapping) but in middle school I guess she was just a bit too tall and awkward.

Anyway I clearly remember her beautiful pink short shorts that slightly crept up her ass and outlined her absolutely stunning ass, as she sat criss cross apple sauce exposing her sexy as hell thighs as well. Anyway I honestly was trying not to creep on her that much as we were surrounded by people, but she was so large compared with me I literally couldn't see anything in front of me other then her. She had very long beautiful dirty blonde hair that carried the sweet scent of her shampoo. It covered the top part of her back, but at the sides I could make out the online of her bra underneath her white t shirt. I literally spent the rest of the time staring at her gargantuan body in a kind of trance. I've had a fair amount of drugs but this was something else. It felt like it was just me and her and was being consumed and becoming nothing more then a tiny part of her perfect form, like a little bit of the fat at the bottom of her ass , which is honestly more then I could ever hope for in life. Anyway I I really tried not to cun because I was right behind her and this was going to be a massive one, and I'm sure people (including her) would smell as the gym was rather unpleasantly warm and we were all packed tightly together. I was just lucky I was wearing jeans that day. When the presentation or whatever they were showing us ended I had to be very slow to get up still because I had some of the hardest wood I've ever had in my life.

2/3 cont...

In the forest surrounded by deer

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>>35175769
>car
>while driving 100mph

It was weird, funny and suicidal.
9/10 would do again.

>>35175769
Next to my dad while he was sleeping

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>>35180932
3/3 fin

Shit I have an actual paper to write wasn't meaning in that to go on for so long but I was so obsessed with her I remembered so much.

Anyway I caught a glimpse of her ass on the way out in the hallway and I literally came buckets right there. I don't think people could've guessed what just happened but I power walked to a bathroom.

Anyway I'm kind of glad I moved to a different state because there was no way anyone would know about any of my fapping adventures, and I would've probably spent all of 8th grade to senior year if highschool stalking Jackie.

>pic related she was literally this except 3d and with slightly darker hair

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>>35180905
>Tfw wrote an essays worth about how I accomplished this and nobody pays attention
>>35180319
>>35180932
>>35181166

>>35180124
You need your hands dude

>>35175769
at some urban ruins
crossdressed with a dildo in my ass
and bus full of passangers just crossing over the ruins

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>>35175769
At the uni while watching a hot teacher explaining shit, dunno if she did notice it tho, but after that she looked me with disgust for the rest of the year untill she left.
Who wouldn't? An ugly fatass looking at you, masturbating, while you are explaining to the classroom it's pretty cringeworthy desu.

Panera Bread restroom.

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The gallery seating in the senate chambers in the Tennessee state capitol building.

Wasn't even horny, just wanted to be able to say I'd done it.

I fapped at work once. It feels even better knowing you're getting paid to do it.

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>>35181597

For reference.

originalerino

>>35181241
kek, thanks for finally shutting up

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the basement of McDonalds, completely naked, with my clothes purposely thrown in a place I wouldn't be able to immediately grab them if someone came downstairs

>>35175769
One room over from entire family, no closed doors or anything and a big window between the two. Wanking to my cousins perfect body.
Also blew a hot load on top of a mountain in Utah. That was impressive, no phones or computers, just hiked up to the very top at about 5 in the morning and rubbed one out to the sound of nature.

>>35178426
No who the fuck gets that
And archery? All we had was football, basketball, or track

>>35175769
My grandparent's house. With hand sanitizer. Never doing that again

>>35177159
I have also done this

There was a hot girl pushing carts, what can I say

>>35175769
Inside a RF shielded room.

>>35178421
>she knew

That's fucked up anon

>>35179874
It's weird that you didn't give him a brojob to get that sweet brotein

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>>35180750
>>35180916

Sorry I'm a little late anons, hopefully you're still here. This was about 5 years ago.

>be 14
>friday night
>16 year old sister had invited her friends over for a sleep over (2 of em)
>sister only had two beds in her room that could only fit one person
>3rd friend had to sleep in my room
>"Anon, your mom said i'm going to be sleeping in your room, you don't mind right lol?"
>uhh...n-not at all!

She was the hottest of all my sisters friends, and had been over my sisters house plenty of times. Always said hi to me whenever she visited, and i'd get red as fuck and she'd say "Aww he's blushing!". Had some decent sized knockers and a big round ass. One of those 16 year old girls that could pass for a 20 year old. Huge crush on her. If I was a little older and not such an autistic sperg, i'd fuck her brains out.
>bed time
>I'm in bed staring at the wall
>thicc friend comes in after taking a shower
>she sleeps in these tight polka dot shorts that show her ass cheeks and a thin tank top
>i'm fucking diamonds at this point
>cock throbbing hard as hell
I'm thinking "this bitch is really fucking teasing me"
>"Night anon ;)"
>"y-you too..."
after about 15-45 mintues she falls asleep
>she's sleeping facing the wall, her ass sticking out
>I start stroking my cock to her fat round ass in those tight shorts that could barely fit her
>she's got cute back dimples too
>stroking for like 3 minutes now
>herecomesthenut.jpg
>my balls feel like they've been fucking nuked after
>get up, get a pair of clean boxers, and clean up in the bathroom
>go back to bed and fall asleep
>wake up the next morning, she's sitting on the bed on her phone
>"sleep well anon? ;)"
>"y-yup!"

one of my best and most memorable faps
From what I heard she's engaged now. I wish that was me. rrrrrrRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!

>>35178498
I used this too senpai

>>35182302
Too bad I never experienced anything like that
I do remember a girl simply sleeping next to me at one of my dads parties when I was like 12-13
She must've hit the hay pretty hard because she snored loudly
I couldn't sleep all night, I was hyperventilating from the overwhelming experience.

probably in a bush by a big public man-made lake. it's sort of a funny story if anyone cares

The church bathroom...

While being baker acted in the emergency room (the crazy intake was a little area with tiny rooms with one giant glass to watch you). Watching this mentally unstable, chubby, scene PR Girl sing (She was 25) and dance to the spice girls movie.

One of the tense nuts ever.

>>35182528
I don't care but what if I give the illusion of caring?

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>>35182550
this
[Spoiler]Oregano[/Spoiler]

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>>35175769

>in several friend's houses as a kid
>in the middle of class in 7th grade
>under a bridge on the way home from high school
>back room at work
>had sex on the floor at work (was a closing manager, so I got away with these)
>four different spots around closed down restaurant near work (depending on the time of day)
>up the stairs in a business center on the way home from work (also recieved dome here a few times)
>in a golf course on the way home from work
>in a friend's house as an adult
>in my dad's basement as an adult
>in a bathrooms/stalls at three different jobs
>in my landlord's pool and backyard

>>35182609
not really enough to motivate me tbqh famalam

All over a computer in a Christian private school. Got story of anyone wants it.

>>35182832
I care
Tell me Tell me Tell me

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Top of a waterfall

>>35182965
Shit. I think I've been there. Where is that Anon?

>>35183002
Pisgah NC

About half an hour south of Asheville

I did it on the school bus a few times

In a tent next to my dad
In a forest at night
In my car while going 140km/h
In at bathroom at work
In a -5 c storage room
In a data center
In a sofa next to my grandma while watching TV

>>35183018
Never mind. Was thinking of cucumber falls in Pennsylvania.

>>35175769
During class in 4th grade

>>35183097
Are there many waterfalls up there?

In the audience of the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

>>35183123
He does have that effect on people

>>35183118
Yes, but they are tucked up in the Appalachias. Not many roads to them, but their are nature trails.
It's actually pretty serene in late spring

>>35178370
What was the workers reaction?

>>35183189
Noice. Well, don't freeze up there

In my car going 90 on a highway in Missouri

>be 7 or 8
>helping my grandma clean up one of her properties before renting again
>somehow get the idea that i want to have my dick out
>wait until she's away from my side and sneak out to her car, go to the back seat and pull my knees up
>unzip my fly and start poking my dick
>grandma comes out shortly after, opens the car door and drags me out by the arm
>pants still unzipped but she doesn't notice
>zipped them up and just went back to work
To this day I really have no idea what I was thinking.

>>35183249
I don't live up there anymore.
but I do miss the mountain laurels. They smell unrealistically good.

behind my middle school there's a bunch of trees on a steep hill. climbed up there sat on a tree and did business.

on my cousins bed while he was in front of me playing vidya

>>35180685
w..were you in elementary school?

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Dirty chinese resturant bathroom, I was 11, couldn't even blow a load yet

In the tiny bathroom of an ICE train somewhere between stutgartt and munich.

In the public bathroom at my sisters dorm building on her move-in day.

Just a few days ago, at the urinal at my work. My jizz got all stuck in the urinal net thing and it was super obvious it was cum, so i had to flush the thing like fifty times and threw a paper towel in there to hide it. Luckily no one came in during all this.

Various trees in my backyard. Yes i cum on trees. I really like to jerk off outside.

Never did it on an airplane before but it's a goal of mine.

>>35182932
Oh man that was super convincing!! I'll type it out between sets
>Be 14 or 15
>Meet girl online
>We share so much in common
>same hobbies, interests, favourite bands, favourite colour, etc
>Live 300km apart
>No income or car so cannot see each other
>Eventually shit goes south in her family
>She moves out of home into a female refuge
>Eventually gets transferred to a refuge closer to my city, about 150km away
>She catches a bus in and we meet for the first time
>Spend day together getting to know each other
>Have first kiss
>Things get heated
>Says she wants to suck my dick
>I didn't really want to because I felt like I'd just met this person but at this point I think we'd declared love prior to meeting in person so I felt obligated
>Found some bushes (still in broad daylight mind you)
>Get the succ (no cum because she didn't know what to do and it only lasted a little while)
>Some old people walk by and more than likely saw us
>Eventually it's time for her to go back
>Get there and her bus has already left
>holy fuck what do I'm 14 and what is this
>Walk about 7km into the city to a big bus terminal
>Their buses out of the city have finished for the day
>FUCK
>Say fuck it and decide we'll find somewhere to shelter out doors
>Go home and get what bedding I can fit in my backpack
>Tell parents I'm staying at friend's house
>We walk around for ages trying to find somewhere that seems safe
>It's getting dark
>Find a big bush that is squashed into a bowl shape with some garbage in it (in hindsight this was probably a homeless persons nest)
>Put a sheet over the ground and snuggle up
>We kiss some more
>She asks me if I could cum so she could see what cum was like (obviously we were both huge virgins)
>Nervously oblige
>Jack off until I'm about to cum
>Was big into /b/ at this point in my life (inb4 b&, this was like 2009)
1/2

>>35175769
By far in the car on a family road trip.

Dad driving, mom in the passenger seat, sister sitting across from me in a separated seat. I draped a blanket over my body and just jacked it. I disposed of it in a napkin or something, I can't remember. I was 13 and horny at the time. I was never discovered.

catholic school when i was 13
behind a junior high school in a forest
mcdonalds
the beach
a portapotty
a different forest

behind a rural baptist church during my great aunt's funeral (or maybe it was a family reunion, don't remember)

>>35175769
Boot camp compartment stall.
We had curtains instead of stall doors so at any moment a recruit could accidentally walk in and see you playing with yourself.
You'll be the butt of a joke for about five seconds.

>14
>staying in hotel for a few days
>have to share bed with little brother (he was about 10)
>late one night, he's fallen asleep
>i'm still awake and really horny
>start jacking off under the covers
>try to be as quiet as i can because brother is literally a few inches away from me and is an extremely light sleeper
>he almost wakes up a couple times
>begin edging and got dangerously close to cumming a few times
>realize what i'm doing and decide to just finish in the bathroom instead
>brother is still asleep
not the worst thing in the world but it still feels weird thinking about it. my sisters were in the bed across from us too.
at least i didn't blow my load right next to him.

>>35183769
2/2
>As I'm about to cum into her hands say "I'm firin mah lazor" (I seriously don't know why I thought this would be funny... I was quite lolrandum at the time I guess)
>Pump out a modest load into the palm of her hand
>Feel quite indifferent about the whole thing (as it turns out I'm somewhat asexual)
>She seems excited yet not horny and kind of just plays with it for a bit
>Pokes it with her tongue and tastes it quickly
>Wipes it off her hand
>Go to sleep
>Wake up next to each other bright and early because we were fucking sleeping outside
>Both extremely depleted, tired, drained, hungry
>Trek another few KMs to the train station
>She gets on her train and goes home

Having typed it out now it seems like a very strange ordeal. Idk if there was just something wrong with me at the time but I have no strong emotions tied to the event except remembering that she looked a bit different to how I imagined based on photos and webcam, and that I really felt a need to say "I'm firin mah lazor" when I came which is just so cringe. Presumably for the sake of telling /b/ about it, yet this is the first time I've actually mentioned it to anyone anywhere.

Anyway, we stayed together another year or two. She ended up moving to my city and we continued dating until I realised I couldn't see her as more than a friend. I really cared about her but I felt like I was with her out of sympathy for her situation and I wasn't really attracted to her, despite her being daily qt and super nice and eager to please. I do miss playing heaps of Vidya with her tho

>>35184098
>I really felt a need to say "I'm firin mah lazor"
Yeah, I've done that too. A lot of teenage /b/tards have probably done it as well.

>>35175769
I have an interesting greentext story from Iraq if anyone wants to hear it?

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>>35176914
I know i'm 6 hours late but is that you Kurwosawa?

>>35178404
>To late, authorities notified

>>35184225
You fapped in the back of the humvee didn't you

>>35182360
this thing is magical

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At the Coors Light Waterfall in Colorado.

>pic related

>>35184162
nice, i feel like slightly less of an autist now. it amazes me thinking that once upon a time i really thought the whole /b/tard persona was cool.

In the back of the car on a road trip
In a train bathroom

Under my jacket in the playground when I was 10.

No one caught me.

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>Be me 15
>Gets horny as fuck in class
>Goes into bathroom and starts looking
>One stall.jpeg
>Starts jerking it hard
>pulls out phone and looks at porn
>I came.jpeg
>mfw I came on the stall door in front of everyone in the bathroom and the person in the stall

>>35184279
I think everyone has, but no, not this story.

>Be only medic on small team in a recon unit.
>Out and about in a new area on foot with platoon leader, 2 privates, a SGT, and myself
>Been too busy doing bullshit for the past couple months to ever hit up a big base for phone, internet, or anything in general.
>Living on the road in humvee's or makeshift bases from taking houses and booting people out
>Blue balls like nobody understands.
>Find a nice house in the middle of a random ass orchard.
>See a singular really old as fuck dude chilling on the front porch.
>We come over and talk to him a bit, he seems very receptive to us, talkative, and tries to keep us there longer than we want to be.
>Before we leave the old man yells some sand nigger shit and out come 5 daughters.
>Things are going better than expected, 3 of the daughters are pretty hot while 2 were definitely broke off by field/orchard work.
>Guessing ages (hard because iraqi women seem to age fast, so guessing their age a bit lower than you would for an American) 19, 16, 15, 14, 13
>Platoon sergeant and sergeant start talking shitty broken arabic to the oldest daughter.
>A younger one is with the old man (guessing grandfather?) with the 2 privates. They dont know any arabic and just kind of talk at her like retards.
>Old man motions for me to come over. He uses arabic word for doctor and I tell him I am, even though I am just a medic.
>He has 3 of his daughters help him up and help him to a room in the back of the house.
>Other soldiers too busy throwing their bad game down to care and my PSG sees and tells me to go on ahead with him.


Should I continue?

>>35184468
I'm curious to see where this goes.

>>35184468
yes you fucking nurse

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In my mothers car in the parking lot of a resthome where my mother was visiting her soon to be dead great grandmother

In a hotel room I shared with the rest of my family. They were sleeping.

>>35175769
My dead neighbor's washroom

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>>35175769
Classroom in a lecture.
Not original but whatevs

I won't say what the weirdest place I've masturbated because ashamed, but first time I actually masturbated and came was on my sisters ex boyfriends computer chair. I didn't know how to properly masturbate at the time, instead of stroking my dick, I practically slapped the tip of my dick really fast in a certain way and I ended up cumming. Very weird way to cum especially for my first time. I was freaking out when it happened to I actually called my cousin and we discussed what the fuck it was that came out of my penis that was white. Ahh, the young teenager days, no better feelings.

>>35184468
continued

>go to the second floor in the back of the shitty iraqi house while everyone is out front being loud and retarded as usual
>old guy sits on his bed in his room with his 3 daughters, he tells one more to leave and go out front (I am guessing since she just headed back the way we came)
>old guy starts showing me some paperwork from a shitty iraqi doctor and asking me for our "miracle pills"
>miracle pills are basically motrin, they think it keeps us from being hot in the desert, from needing to drink water, and keeps us from getting old and unhealthy (seriously, they are that stupid)
>old guy does have a genuine heart issue after looking at the print outs, i take out a few "miracle pills" and hold them out.
>i point at the two daughters that are in the room with me and hold my hand out closer to him
>he nods and sends one of the daughters to grab water, she comes back, and he takes the pills
>he holds his hand out and motions me to stay, has his two daughters help him move somewhere (I think a room over)
>I hear some talking between him and the two daughters and then they both come back to the room where I am.

more?

>>35175769
Balcony at church during a sunday night church service.

It was hot.

>>35184772
stop fucking asking "more" every time and just post the entire goddamn thing

>>35184881
nope, you gotta earn it faggot

>>35180685
same it was my old school and I was walking by, most of the school was closed but there's a certain part of the playground that is open during the weekends that operates as a small park, no one was around so I just went in the bathroom and busted a nut

>>35179514
Kek

I hope that is true

>>35184772
>the two girls are standing in the room with me awkwardly as you would expect
>my balls are literally wanting to explode so I am not in a particularly mind set to make good decisions
>i put my bag down then take off my helmet and armor
>i sit down on the edge of the bed and wave the two girls over and they walk over slowly about an arms length away
>one of them looks me in the eyes and points to herself with an almost sad look on her face
>at this point I realize he told them that one of them has to be my little sexual toy for the next 10-15 minutes and they were scared
>I pull her hand down and point to both of them and they look confused then I tell them to wait in arabic
>I lean back a bit and pull out my dick that is diamonds as they are both standing pretty close to me and watch them look down at it with that this is my first time seeing an American penis or probably a hard penis in general look.
>I start stroking my penis as they watch, one of them keeps sort of looking away but looking back and the other her eyes are just locked on me, most likely curious
>I stop stroking and motion to lift up their little dresses, the one who has had her eyes locked on me slowly does it after the second time I motion and the shy one looks to her as shes doing it then starts lifting up hers too.
>My dick gets 10 times harder with two young Iraqi girls standing in front of me practically naked with two sets of small tits. One of them I can see their pussy the other has underwear on.
>I go back to stroking it and this time both are watching intently, I guess showing me what they got made them a little less shy.

>>35184772
More anon original MOOOOOOOOOREEEEE

>>35185143
You've never been to Iraq you lying faggot.

If so what year and where were you?

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>>35185143
>I standing up between both of them and keep stroking, reaching over to play with each of their tits.
>I grab one of the shy girls hands and place it under my balls and move it around. Feels great for having not been touched in a long time but she doesn't really know wtf she is doing.
>I keep stroking it and start breathing hard as I get close to cumming.
>As I feel the cum build up I move closer to the one without the panties and who wasn't shy with me.
>I reach around her waste and pull her in a bit. She looks confused and a bit red.
>I start stroking harder and my legs begin to shake.
>I push out my penis a bit and cum on her little tits with the first shot then down her stomach just above her pussy with the next few.
>Her eyes are wide open and the other girl who was holding my balls has her other hand over her mouth with her eyes wide open.
>I start sliding my hand over her body rubbing cum all over her as the other girl watches.
>After my balls feel sufficiently drained I motion them to put their clothes back down and then I throw my battle rattle back on.
>The girls with my cum on her points back up to herself probably asking if I was going to do anymore to her.
>I waved her off and said thank you.
>The shy girl leaves and the not-shy one stays for a moment then walks back into the other room. They talk for a minute then they come back in and motion me to come with them as they help the old man back out front.
>Return outside like nothing happened and the old man thanked our guy in charge for me "helping treat him."
>We hang around a little longer as the guys are trying to put their game down but eventually when it starts to get dark we have to head back.
>MFW while we were dicking off before we left there was a girl covered in my cum under her dress. Best jerk off experience of my life.

in the street at night

>>35175769
gas station bathroom, once I had a wet dream a 2 feet away from someone.

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>>35185238
Nice try, FBI/NSA/Faggots. You think I am going to give you any details?

Only thing I will tell you is Al Anbar, Surge, and Burn Shitter PSP Jerk Off Sessions. Blood chit.

If you need anymore than that you are the one full of shit.

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>>35178498
>>35182360
Not a masturbation story but this posts made me remember something semi-related

>15 yo
>masturbated religiously every day
>one day at Walmart with my dad see pic related
>instantly imagine all the great time I would have with it
>nomorephoneshenanigans.jpg
>Turn one on and put it in my neck
>I can feel the vibrations all over my body
>sperg
>h-hey dad... can we buy this? It would really help me sleep!
>realize how bad that came out
>dad glares at me all serious
>yeah...sure anon...
>throws vibrator to the shopping cart
>doesn't speak to me the rest of the day
HE KNOWS
But I still call that a victory, it took some time to get used to the intensity but I still use it to this very day.
sorry dad.

>>35185305
OP you're fucking full of shit, I don't believe your for a second, and don't give me that "well idc if you don't believe me it happened XDDDD" bull shit either.

>>35175769
the music room at middle school.

it was during a lesson. We were supposed to be doing group work but the other 2 people in my group had to go get papers or something so i figured id knock a cheeky one out.

Im still ashamed to this day.

>>35177606
fuck yeah, MSI

>>35175769
Washington D.C hotel bathroom during a school trip

At my grandmother's funeral in the public bathroom

>>35185305
what a great story you totally didn't make up.

>>35185402
Doesn't bother me Mr. Robot, you're kind always say everyone is bullshitting because their life is shit. It happened, I enjoyed it, and you will never get to have as much fun as I have had :)

Stay salty, kiddo.

>>35185437
Believe what you want guys. It isn't my job to convince you faggots to live vicariously through me. Living in your own small world is 100% A OK.

Matter of fact, the less that believe it the better.

>>35185482
The irony of trying to call bullshit when shit way better than that happened regularly. I was very tame in comparison to other people due to not wanting to get fucked over for it.

>>35185482
wtf i want to join the military now

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>>35185440
>be anon the lying faggot
>make up a story on a jerk off thread
>genuinely think people will buy it
>nobody buys it and gets BTFO
>assumes that everyone's life is shit and that we're salty when no one buys it
>in reality our lives our fine and we just know a bull shitter when we hear one
mfw anon is still trying to sell us his iraq loli fantasies
mfw anon is a lying pedohpile faggot
top kek

>get drunk at friends house
>walking home
>go past my highschool crushes house
>get incredibly horny
>jump her back fence
>fap furiously in her backyard
>cum on her back porch
>run away like I had just murdered someone

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>>35185546
missed your chance by about 16-6 years

>>35185548
mfw they very well may not have been lolis due to how iraqi women age extremely fast compared to american women (if you were there you would know)

also, you cant BTFO if you are wrong
dont care if you believe or not, also, your life is shit judging by your response

>>35185440
>Doesn't bother me Mr. Robot, you're kind always say everyone is bullshitting because their life is shit.
My life is going just fine, thank you very much

>It happened, I enjoyed it
doubt it

>and you will never get to have as much fun as I have had :) Stay salty, kiddo
Oh but that's where you're wrong KIDDO. I already have, only it didn't involve me getting off to small teenage desi girls rubbing on my balls like some deranged sicko.

Stay Salty Kiddo ;) lul kek xDDDDD

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>>35185677
mfw they very well may not have been lolis due to how iraqi women age extremely fast compared to american women (if you were there you would know)
>hiding behind this iraqi aging superpower meme as an excuse for getting off to under age girls

also you cant BTFO if you are wrong
>implying i'm wrong

>dont care if you believe or not
On the contrary. Clearly you do because you keep replying. You know what someone who doesn't care would've done? They'd ignore the accusations and move on with their lives. You're full of shit which explains your defensive nature.

your life is shit judging by your response
>my life is shit because some pathological lying pedophile thinks so
Yeah, ok bud ;)

>>35175769
Airport bathroom

>>35175769
Airplane bathroom, was v bored. A line formed after I went in, had to walk past hoping I didn't smell like cum.
the bathroom prolly did, oops

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During class, in the living room, in my sister's room.

>in a public hottub

Feels good knowing Stacy is swimming in my cum

At a friend's house.

>>35175769
in my backyard

>>35183097
>cucumber falls
Kek it would make sense to fap there wouldn't it

>>35175769
A hotel bathroom in Cancun at midnight.

>>35175769
Without any doubt in my mind....Florida.

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in middle school during class.

>>35177408
I've done this dozens of times . Can't stand going without jacking off for more than a couple of days.

bathroom stall in a catholic school
now that i think about it that was unholy as fuck

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>>35187594
I kek'd and capped

Brothers bed. Friend walked in and our eyes met. I then continued and came while he was facing away in the same room.

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>>35187649
Thanks, buddy, I'll be here all week. I deleted it cuz a mishap on the keyboards, but you know, no funny business next time eh!

>>35175769
On a 737 flying at 35,000 feet

>>35177606
i wish i was rich enough to afford school where scuba diving and archery is mandatory

>>35175769
in the lounge room with 4 family members there

At midnight in the yard of someone else behind me on the block. I got off by walking around barefoot in the snow. I'm sure my footprints would stick around, so I have no idea why it was never traced back to me.

In a public pool with lots of people in it. And also in the back of the car when riding with my parents and my sister

I jerked it in a mental hospital.

>>35175769
I reckon it was on my penis

had a 9 day stay in a hospital and had a cheeky wank with the curtains pulled over

room had 5 other people in it too, one a qt girl with a broken ankle

>>35187308
ive done the same, asked to go to the toilet during class and banged one out

Hotel in a foreign country. My semen has been in two countries and zero women.

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lan party

>>35175769
in the woods

I just got super horny.

White House visitors bathroom
>tfw those secret cameras/sensors almost certainly caught me but they couldn't do anything

>>35175769
mickey ds bathroom I guess

>>35179684
>her marble boobs felt nice

mass robot suicide when?

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I fapped in an internet cafe once.

>>35175769
im the woods during a power outage

while driving

>>35177159
I have done this as well