Why are you guys like this

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>we WILL share a bed

>>35161078

it's the geek and anime stuff that gets to me

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>fat
>balloons in car
>only 1 pic of house

>>35160914
how do people like this not feel ashamed of themselves?

>>35160914
>I don't want a foot in my face

I think he does want a foot in his face tbqh.

>>35161257
his windows also have decals of like cartoon animals or smth on them

>>35161292
People with autism aren't self aware enough to feel shame.

I feel like that's a troll posting though, but he could legitimately be autistic

fuck I hate these ads. they're all over craiglist shared housing, guys who only accept female roommates and write cringy shit like that. they're not robots though, just desperate normies.

>>35160914
>no issue with being touched
The absolute madman actually asks for permission to molest someone in their sleep.

>>35161445
>just desperate normies.

There's absolutely nothing normal about them. They're creeps true and through, and I doubt any female is dumb enough to fall for these rape traps

>>35161445

I don't know why any guy would want to share a place with a female who they aren't actively having sex with. Girls are gross to live around.

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>>35161445
I got curious so I just searched up craigslist and what do you know, I found one

>"Just trying to catch up on bills"
>I want a cute young lady for my one bedroom apartment

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>>35161485
the gay ones are not very discrete about it.

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>miner expenses

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Which one of you is this? Post more cringe roommate ads please

>>35161825

Pickaxes and overalls are expensive.

>>35161848
Sounds like a pretty good deal, I'd fuck him in the ass once in a while as a reward, no homo of course.

>>35161848
what the fyuck is this shit

>>35161793
At least it's no bullshit, you are getting an honest description of what he wants and expects instead of "I'm going to come on to you sexually, but I'm not going to tell you that's part of the deal"

>>35161848
Honestly I'd take him up on that offer, even though it will probably lead to me walking in on him in gay scenarios

>Come home
>He's wearing BDSM twink suit with ball gag
>Only hear him mumbling saying "Oh no. Look at me. I'm completely vulnerable and you could do ANY thing to me tee hee"

>>35161848
"str8" means "Bisexual with a preference for women"
It doesn't actually mean STRAIGHT

>>35160914
why would you want a roommate if you can afford to live by yourself?
I'm just fine by myself and wouldn't want to have to deal with someone else taking up the bathroom or using the internet or having to cook for another person

>>35161848
Sounds like a pretty good deal desu, it wouldn't be gay because you are just bros. He cooks, cleans, is chill, sucks your dick and let's you fuck his boi pussi.

>>35161848
Why wouldn't you take him up on this offer?

This is a total no brainer. So what if he sucks your dick from time to time

>>35160914
>pay me $150/month to be my gf
>and maid
Is this a joke?

"Str8" means he wants you to come home from a long day of work one day, sexually frustrated, while he's wearing a maid outfit.
You see him strutting his sissy ass around, so you throw him on the bed and start unzipping your pants.
He asks what you're doing and you respond "What, you thought you could wear that slutty outfit and stick that plump ass in my face all day? Your actions have consequences, and it's about time you receive your punishment" before you put your hard, thick cock in front of his mouth.

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Oh man who wants to see some offers?

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>>35162082

Any takers?? C'mon such a low low price

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>>35162102

C'mon, femanons. You can't tell me these savings and studs aren't getting your panties SOAKED

>>35162102
What does secure room mean? Is it like a prison cell?

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>>35162121

Oh man. Now this is completely titillating. Femanons, feel free to ready your womb for this man's seed

>>35162142
I assume he simply means you have a lock and deadbolt on your door so you can lock it if you don't want him getting in.

>>35161848
i'd probably let him suck my dick at most but that's as far as it'll go. sounds like a pretty decent offer otherwise, all things considered.

>>35162147
Really, what are you driving home at? He's not physically attractive, so what? He can't help how he was born and he can only really do so much about his appearance. He is offering something- a lot of something in his case- in exchange for something else.

>>35162188
According to millennial liberals like the anon you replied to, an individual is 100% worthless if the individual is not female/tranny and is unattractive.

>>35162239
>>35162188

Did you fucks even read the wall of text in the ad or are you as creepy and autistic as the guy posting the ad is

>>35162188
There's not much unappealing about his appearance besides with mustache, which deserves severe shaming. Only unhinged fuckwads like ESR have a mustache.

>>35162253
Yeah he wants to treat a woman kindly and take her traveling. Oh the horror, someone alert Huffington Post and Salon

Someone alert Camille Paglia

Someone alert Anita Sarkeesian

Someone email Samantha "yaaas queen" Bee

>>35162255
Just for this comment I am going to grow a Handlebar.

>>35162296

Creep AND autistic. Got it. Should've known seeing the board I'm on

>>35162253
He's just an old guy tired from getting cucked that desperately wants some companionship, there's no predatory behavior. If anything it's kinda sad.

>>35162317
>he's creepy and I don't like him
Good for you, now fuck off and leave him be.
It's not a crime to exist, how the hell is he hurting you?

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>Just like my chinese animated cartoons

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>>35162317
Lemme put this into libtard speak so you can understand:
ummm, no sweetie
sounds like you're the loser who couldn't read the wall of text lmao

>>35162338
Because I dare to disagree with current year millennial liberal didactic.

>>35162336
no no dude it can't be SAD if it's a FUCKING WHITE MALE
We should burn him at the stake because he isn't either our ideal pussy of a mxn or a chad.

>>35162354
He wants a meek, quiet roomie (said as much) who might not even really speak his language.
He might even want to learn Chinese but that's really unlikely.

>>35162356
>It's perfectly acceptable to say you'll perform cunnilingus on a female room mate you are seeking on an ad for a room

Okay, autist. No point in arguing with you as you aren't self aware enough

>>35162315
Hipster mustaches are fine, but the thick ones make everyone uncomfortable.

>>35162371
>Or someone he can kill and dispose of without someone coming and asking questions

>>35162387
Don't make me grow a Walrus.

>>35161532
jesus holy fucking christ this. I had a houseshare and a 'girl' moved in and it was a fucking nightmare. She was a heffalump so don't get any ideas; she would happily leave her period blood smeared over the toilet seat.

worst thing is despite being fat (and not thicc fat, I mean fucking Lena Dunham fat with the body of a turkey) the older housemates slobbered over her. it was fucking bizarre.

>>35162055
will this work? i have to try it

>>35160914
Yes, you gotta pay me 150 bucks to be my girlfriend, make me dinner, clean the place and get molested by me at night
Boy I'm a genious

>>35162493
In my experience, twinks are no where near as picky as females. If you lived with one and you guys became friends, he probably would start trying to "turn" you

>>35162493
As the top or the bottom?
If you're the bottom, you'd better be cute and hope he's not legit straight and somehow dense enough to get past the repeated "I'll be your bitch" in the ad.
If you're the top, him accepting your application probably means he's willing to let you fuck him.

>>35160914
I used to have this wierd fetush were I wouldn't masturbate for two weeks and then I would browse Craigslist from poor countries like Africa and look for girls I could bring here as slaves

Once browsing some African shithole I found a publication by some African girl that said she was designing her own clothes and needed a rich American investor to finance it, got into detail about the clothes and shit and ended offering sex to get financed
Pretty much the most interesting thing I found, I find it funny that she is desperate enough to try that since she clearly isn't a prostitute and even funnier the thought of her checkio her mail and finding nothing

>>35160914

Damn, that guy in OP looks like me except I'm uglier and fatter. I'm not a fag like him though.

>>35161301
that's precisely what I was about to post

>>35162531

Obvious plot twist: He lives with his mother, will introduce you as his girlfriend, and the 150$ will go towards video games and anime discs

>>35162616
>desperate
More like realistic.

>>35162082
It says friends with benefits not roomate
He is being completely honest

>>35160914

that's NOT us, remember we live at home in the basement.

yall have a very skewed idea of us desu.

>>35162742
I wish I lived in a basement, sounds so comfy, windows scare me.

>>35162648
>Realistic
Nothing realistic about expecting a rich white American looking for prostitutes to finance her buisnes

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Here's a better rental.

>>35162371
why do you assume that it's a he, and that he's white? maybe it's another chinese exchange student looking for someone to have something in common with.

>>35162830
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING,

>>35162825
kek
>sexy male bodies
>57, 53, and 46

>>35162891
But anon, they use vitamins and minerals.

>>35162825
>Be gay faggot
>Eventually get old
>Getting old means no more hooking up
>Being a faggot means no family left
>Instead of ending up alone in an apartment looking for a qtboy slave that never leaves decide to look for other older cars to room together and fuck each other
Actually it's great they found a way to not be miserable

>>35162945
The BEST* vitamins!

>>35161848
>men can be better women than women

If you live in an area where women are desperate to move to, Mission District or Manhattan or Santa Monica, this sounds like a pretty good idea.

>>35163433
I don't think any women are lining up for >>35162531

>>35160914
This shit genuinely makes me feel for women.

Partly did it to themselves but partly the fault of thirsty fucking betas. Can you imagine being a poor woman who isn't a sloot who just wants to get a place to live then having to worry about what the fuck the landlord meant by 'cheap, female only lodgings' or whatever.

>>35160914
>we will share a bed
Alpha as fuck tbqh

>>35163500
Think of it this way, a man cannot get the same lodging for the same price. You want it nonsexual? You pay the same as a man would.

>>35163500
A girl knows EXACTLY what the landlord means when he says that, and it's their fault for going into it if they decide to.

>>35163522
You're not wrong at all.

Our team needs to stop making a market for it though. Shit is ridiculous, even on this board, hate roasties but talk about them every day and women thrive on passion, even if it's negative passion.

>>35161848
>Unironically considering moving cross-country to Utah now

>>35160914
It's a great way to filter out roasties and Staceys. Stop shaming him you fucking normie OP.

>>35160914
>Toronto

Goddammit. This is why we cant have nice things

>>35165039
M A R K H A M

>Miner expenses
Fucking coaldiggers.