>want to die >scared to do it myself this shit is the worst

>tfw have fantasies of paying a person to kill me at a random moment of the day without notice

I know that feel to well. If people hate me so much my why don't thy just get rid of me

>>35158969
That would be nice, bullet to the back of the head and you never knew what hit you.

>>35158874
I'm afraid to fail like I did in with everything I ever tried and make it impossible to try again.

>>35159637
Failing is the worst bro. I once bought a shotgun new, brought it to the range, worked fine, and it didn't go off when I took it home and tried to off myself. I loaded the same shell in twice (new box of slugs)
Then I tried to OD on u47700 and didn't take enough I guess because I woke up after passing out for an hour and was completely deaf for 6 hours.
Then I tried it again with benzos and alcohol too and I passed out, started throwing up and choking on my vomit so loud that my neighbors heard me and called the ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. I went into a coma and was literally minutes away from losing my arm. It was really bad. After that I had my house raided, lost my gun license and guns, and now have to live with my parents. It fucking sucks. Why can't I die? Am I immortal in a Mister Magoo kinda way?