What turned you into a robot?

Come on don't be shy.

>>35130582
my parents played WoW with me and never made me socialise. They even introduced me to video games.

I didnt even socialise in WoW - they chose all the guilds and i just did dungeons etc with them.

>>35130582
clumsiness, stupidity, self doubt, fucked thoughts, people

>>35130732
Huh, that's actually pretty cool.

no one thing

Mom used to go through cycles of being really nice and sweet and then completely rake me over and berate me (most of the time I didn't deserve it).

I had a qt gf that was actually into anime, I wasn't still not, long story short she got progressively more psychologically fucked up as time went on. I got pulled down with her because I knew fucking well that was my one shot at a meaningful relationship, tried to fix her, reality set in, we broke up. I was right too been alone for 6 years now.

There's more, but those two are the major factors.

Of course now I find myself just not caring, was yelled at by an older family member the other day, didn't sperg out and cry, didn't really get mad. Just calmly wondering what he'd look like as a corpse.

>>35130876
What was that old cunt yelling at your for?

I was always somewhat this way, it just got sped up in college when I started trying to get pussy from these dumb cunts

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>>35130582
I know the anorexic feel. I was pretty bad from 13-16 so my body didn't develop properly. I believe that I was born a robot, nothing turned me in to one. I was destined from the beginning. I've been depressed and a loner for my whole life, so it's all that I know

>>35130582

Malnutrition, sedentary lifestyle, and psychiatric medications fucking up my testosterone levels and growth during adolescence.
I very slowly got taller, but I didn't get more masculine (broader shoulders, larger dick, etc).

>>35130582

I was always isolated a lot due to needing a shit load of medical treatment when I was younger.

>>35130582
>>35130732

For me it was the opposite, they were anti-technology retards. It wasn't as bad since this was the early 90s when I was a kid but still.

The fact that they didn't get us video games or a computer when we were kids is what led me to being a robot.

>no vidya
>vidya is this mysterious but completely banned magical thing of wonder and pleasure
>look for other kids with vidya
>don't bother to make friends with kids that I actually get along with
>instead go to house of nearby kid who is even more fucked up than me, literally That Kid.
>hang out with him just so I can play a bit of SNES
>new kid has another video game at his house
>ditch old kid to hang out with other kid
>some other kid has DOOM and Duke Nukem at his house
>ditch other kid
>repeat until I'm in high school
>never learned to properly socialize, just to leech precious minutes of vidya from other kids
>hang out with other weirdos and loners
>at least some of them have playstation and even the internet at home
>continue this until we get internet at home in 2002
>never hang out with anyone from high school ever again
>internet all day every day
>eventually buy my own computer games and gaming console
>never learned moderation or self-control
>try to catch up on gaming I never experienced as a kid
>now I'm 30 years old and still just playing vidya everyday

Also if I had the internet at home when I was a teen I could have learned marketable skills related to coding or programming but no my parents thought that the internet and computers was a dying trend.


That and a fucked up childhood involving an autistic violent father, an autistic violent older brother, and an autistic wet mop mother

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>>35130582
homeschooled

just fuck my shit up senpai

I've had severe Crohn's disease since I was 7. A few years ago I had my colon removed and now I have an ileostomy. I can't really imagine any woman being able to overlook that, so now I'm just trying to come to terms with the very real possibility of dying alone.

>>35130732
that's very cute anon

go hug your parents


nowadays with all the dungeon, battleground, and raid finders, no one else really socializes either

>>35131001

Forgot to mention, I only lived with two women who were constantly fighting and negative, made me feel anxious and want to avoid social situations, and I never really learned normal masculine social behavior, so whenever I tried to socialize I would just embarrass myself.

>>35130582
autism + divorce

>>35130582

>Father was a deadbeat
>Stepfather treated me like trash
>Bullied and beaten up all throughout school
>Never really had a gf until 22 (which is also when I lost my virginity)
>Grew up scrawny and weak
>Lived with my mom only for a majority of my life
>Sister was a sociopath who would beat the crap out of my regularly

>dad is a manic depressive, schizophrenic
>my parents divorced when i was really
>mum was the over coddling, never let me do anything type
>dad would switch from being the most fun guy in the world to a sadistic asshole on a weekly basis
>was always a sensitive kid
>i think my dad thought that being hard on me would toughen me up
>in reality it just made me closer to my over protective mother
>was popular in junior school
>had friends
>around 6th grade girls started liking me
>my friends got jealous and would mock me for having girls into me
>my parents and other relatives did the same thinking it was funny
>me being an idiot i listened to them
>that's where my fear and awkwardness around women developed

Ever since then it was pretty much the same factors: The wrong friends, my Dad, my own insecurities.

I didn't "turn" into a robot, I have always been like that for as long as I can remember.

>>35130582
Some proper childhood abuse
Inb4 perves. I'm male

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>Remember being an extremely anxious child. Stay awake at night worrying about shit -- school mostly.
>Dad was / is an alchoholic, and not a great one either. Would be physically / verbally violent if we were goofing around, you know, being kids. If I ever mentioned how I wanted to have a good life, achieve etc, he'd get passive aggressive and tell me how bad the world actually is, but not offering any practical advice.
>No guidance growing up from either parent, although I do love my Mum.
>I drink too much, mostly a habit to knock me out for bed.
>Can't hold down and job (not due to booze, It's just unbearable working with other people)
>I'm a fag.
>Sure I have some sort of mental issue, I'm quite paranoid in general.

Seriously, I think I've just come to accept that the only option I have left is to follow the path of the NEET, and peruse my creative goals whilst I collect the neetbux.

I'm currently in Prague. I thought I could build a life for myself out here, but fuck me, my anxiety has been increasing by the week. I can't ride a bus without sweating. Standing at a checkout line -- sweating. Talking to someone 1on1 I don't know intimately -- you got it -- sweating.

Flying back on Monday to my parents place.

Shit sucks. I thought life was supposed to get easier?

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>>35130582
ITT: daddy issues galore

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>>35131032

hoho

Me too. Now I sweat massively in the most casual of IRL interactions, crippling me socially and professionally.

>>35132288

True! also czecked!

>>35131032
>>35132320
homeschooled here as well, I can handle casual situations, but I'm an incredibly unbearable autistic retard and any conversations beyond "hi" become a spaghettifest

help

feel free to call me names, I'm new to /r9k/.
Define robot?

>>35132405
>Define robot?
normally I'd just tell you to kill yourself, but since you're aware of your autism, I'll give a brief explanation

a robot is basically a walking failure, awkward/NEET/autistic/sperg etc, browses /r9k/, has no friends/gf, and never goes outside unless he absolutely has to.

you can also google these things, you fucking mong.

and lurk before posting, newfag

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>20yo m kissless virgin
>never shared needles or had sex
>have hiv for 8+ years now
>have almost 0 interaction with people because they will burn me like a witch if I come out

Wat do?

>>35131001
>psychiatric medications fucking up my testosterone levels and growth during adolescence
Does this actually have an effect? This would explain a lot for me

>>35132472
dude, had he googled it hed have bumped into some definition like "anybody with a mental disorder"

>>35132565
to be fair I did mention
>you can also google these things, you fucking mong.
but yes, you're right.
we're both equally as bad here, but I'm struggling to give a fuck

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>>35132530

how did you get hiv?

Don't lie to me, senpai. I am medfag.

> can't count number of hep C patients I've seen deny any hx of IV drug use

You're born a robot you fucking retarded failed normie.

>>35130582
>Graduate highschool
>Automatically lose half friends
>Harder to make friends in college, gradually lose the rest
>Out of college, no friends
>Work friends are hard to make in my profession because it's mostly older people
>Still no friends
>Nothing to do, can't go out and do fun stuff really because I'd be bored and alone
>Just sit in my room all day or go to the gym/work

>>35130582
People stabbing me in the back and lying to niet face made me a robot.

I'm not a robot. This is a less repetitive /b/.

>>35132545

I'm pretty sure it does.
My doctor told me it does, and I've seen multiple studies that point to it having that effect. I was taking them in high doses for most of my teenage years.

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>>35132606
I honestly have no clue if I was to guess it would be a dirty toilet seat or something ive never had any type of sex or shared needles my life was over before I was even a teen

>>35131202
>Getting beat by everyone.
>Not becoming a deviantart OC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA-4B2d4L18

>>35132765
Dietary intervention likely would have been just as effective without fucking you up

>>35130732

well as long as they never kick you out of the house, seems pretty comfy, i wouldn't mind playing mmos all day with gamer parents

>>35130582
I as born destined to be one,
it was a fate I could not change

>>35130876
>I had a qt gf

stopped reading there

>>35131011

you must be getting autism bux right, with that kind of shitty genes?

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Parents divorced when 8, stepmother beat me, have crippling introversion so bad that I can't handle being in close proximity to more than 5 people, talking to somebody I don't really know gives me panic attacks.

>>35132805
There's a little Coldsteel in all of us.

>>35131011

reminds me of my childhood, all i had was a shitty zx spectrum and black and white monitor (well black and green)

and because of that i spent all my time at autismos house instead because his rich parents got him the latest consoles

if i had to do it all over again, i wouldn't be 'friends' with him, honestly idk what i'd do, prolly kill myself or other people because of how shit my life was and the turmoil i'd go through later was simply unfair and fucked up

might just kill my parents, sister and myself if i had to go through all that again, and to think all those times on the nes, and megadrives of autismo kid and some little shit kid i hated at the time i craved it, but what absolute shit nes and megadrive were, between doing nothing now and playing shitty old consoles i would choose nothing

kill me now

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was cool/popular kid from birth up until puberty hit in 6th grade. puberty devastated me. bad skin, hairy, big nose, the works. all my other friends were fine and got thru it without devastation. i became ugly whereas before i was good-looking. some of the hottest/cutest girls liked me and even one of the hottest girls that every single guy thought was so hot went out with me for a week in 5th grade. it was amazing. she smiled @ me in the hallway and it felt so good. that's the most action i've ever gotten. from puberty to high school i was still cool but changing and wasn't as cool as i used to be. i was a great athlete,had cool/popular friends, was smart, but girls paid no attention to me but it was ok cuz nobody was fully into 'only thing that matters is opposite sex' mode.

when i got to high school this was the same deal. then i came down with a mystery illness that ruined my life. it's basically like multiple sclerosis/fibromyalgia/horrible muscle spasms. i had to stop playing sports forever. had i kept playing i would have been a star player, all county player of the year, all city metro, and all state. instead, it was over by soph year and nobody cared about me anymore and i lost all my friends due to this and the ugliness factor killing me cuz now girls became everything and i was totally undesirable. i also stopped caring about school cuz of all this and never had any motivation to study/work in life since frosh yr of high school. went thru rest of highschool without real friends and i barely existed. i was like a ghost a bit tho my former friends were sorta alright to me. i never talked to girls and they paid me no attention. got to college and it was the same but worse. absolute ghost on campus, never had sex, useless degree (tho i am still smart/high iq), and made no friends. graduated and work joke part time job that idc about at all. khv at 27 now. the health probs, loss of sports, ugliness, frail body, and no motivation to work factors ruined me.

>>35131033

kike detected, why don't you gas yourself?

THIS TIME FOR REAL.

>>35130582
>schizophrenic
>abused
>autistic
>ugly
>anxious
>depressed

however, I'm very funny and my personality is strong from adversity.

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>>35132783

okay...

So i hate to break this to you but here are your options:

1. You don't have HIV and you know it. You are lying.

2. You think you have HIV, bc of a false positive ELISA you never got confirmed and never told anyone to recheck. You are not on any treatment and have completely avoided this because you were too scared to follow up with the western blot which would have shown that you actually don't. Also, you're an idiot for agreeing to screen since you have zero risk factors for it, the test should never have been done (pretest probability = zero.zero)

3. You have HIV from birth and somehow don't realize this is how you got it, because you are adopted or your mother never told you that she is HIV positive and likely not on HAART when she delivered. On top of that, you have a fairly rare mutation that makes you, at this point, pretty much guaranteed to never actually develop actual AIDS (the virus will never completely fool your immune system; this is very rare).

4. You have had sex, almost certainly it would be receptive anal, or you have used IV drugs and are lying about that.

5. You are like Mary Mother of Jesus, except you immaculately conceived AIDS instead of the Son of God. God hates you that much.

6. You are one of only a slightly larger cohort than #5, in that you, while living in a first world country, were unfortunate enough to become the victim of an unscupulous surgical error resulting in the reuse (not once but likely on a truely massive and awesomely negligent scale) of equipement without properly sterilizating.

7. You are from a third world county and your yellow fever vaccine or something 3rd worldly like that was given by way of an unsterilized stainless steel needle manufactured in the early 1900's. In this case, you probably weren't gonna make it far in life anyways, so no worries.

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>>35132818
>>35132765

Medfag here. Dietary intervention would not have helped you at all, don't listen to the cretin.

Anyways, actually no your testosterone was not affected, you grew bitch tits for another reason entirely.

You were (are?) probably on a second generation anti-psychotic. Unfortunately, a well known effect is that is decreases dopamine, which inhibits prolactin. Prolactin, as you might intuit, causes lactation. Technically it does not cause release of milk (oxytocin does) but it causes mammary hyperplasia and glandular changes that prepare the breast to make milk. It can cause some let down of milk on its own, but not much.

Anyways, your testosterone is actually fine. Not that it will console you much, because you still have tits. Sorry anon.

>>35133234

forgot to link you this:

[Antipsychotic-drug-induced hyperprolactinemia: physiopathology, clinical features and guidance].

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23928066

>>35133111

actually hiv and aids doesn't real

it's fake and gay

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>>35130582
Gradual disconnect from school and friends.

Probably going to drop out soon (too stupid for it), plan on moving 4,000km across the country to be comfy and poor near the mountains.

Have about $2,000 cash to cover the move so I think I'll be alright if I get a bit more and plan it out

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>>35133278

this is a meme, so I'll let it slide

>>35133299
You should fly to Madrid for a month.

>>35133234

No, I was on a combination of antidepressants and anxiety medications.
My testosterone levels are not fine at all, and I have more issues than just gyno, like wide hips, narrow shoulders, small dick, etc. But I wouldn't say it's strictly due to the medications. Poor nutrition and other factors could have played a role in how I developed. I just don't think it was genetic, my father is a giant, but I ended up with thinner bones than my mother.

>autistic
>homeschooled
>strict religious upbringing

Its cool now though, I'm pretty good at acting normal. The problem is I do not receive any pleasure from socializing like others seem to. I love the social experience here, but irl it just feels like a chore because you have all the weird things to do like holding arms, looking at eyes, smiling, etc. all controlled manually but then you have to also thick up responses and make sure to avoid anything interesting. It's fucking exhausting.

>>35133331
How come?

Is it any good?*

for me it was moving back in with my parents after grad school. I was 25 and came home and all of a sudden I can't find a job, I'm getting fatter, my stay is getting longer and longer because I can't find work and then by the time I do it's not enough to pay student loans debt and rent. So I end up still living here while my friends all moved on and have families, stable careers, etc.

From 18 to 25 I was social. I was a virgin and had few friends but I went out every weekend and enjoyed some aspects of my life.

>>35132765
Fuck
I haven't gone a day without SSRIs since I was 11, I'm almost 21 now

>>35130582
I was home-schooled. That should tell you everything you need to know.

>>35132917
Nah I'm not that autistic, I'm a wagie and going back to school.

>>35133040
Same. I think I caught autism from them. One kids' house always smelled like they had just recently cooked like a tuna casserole or something, the other kid had a sister who was trans so really was just a little boy in a dress and I know he was a boy cause heshe flashed me hisher ladydick

Now these days everyone under 25 was born with a computer and modem in their house and you have genius 14 year old coders raised on youtube videos.

>>35132320
>>35132379

I'm luckier than you guys, I've managed to become pretty good at conversation, but it still feels like I'm faking it and I have no real friends

what were your teachers like? :v)

>>35133111
>5. You are like Mary Mother of Jesus, except you immaculately conceived AIDS instead of the Son of God. God hates you that much.

I'm going to steal this as a joke

Was always kind of weird. When uni started I got isolated because I live at home. This isolation ruined any social skills I once had. Then I Discovered /r9k/

got hit by a car when I was 12. lost my leg and spent months just learning to walk. people were always so distant at school after that and it just never got better

>>35130582
Girl I'm friends with who became a meme on /b/ was talking about r9k, I checked it out a few times and I've been really depressed for a few weeks now and realized it's a nice place to talk about my feelings without people knowing who I am.

>>35134260
Go ahead. You do that

>>35130836
>>35131035
>>35132851
Oh yeah, i enjoyed it at the time - thats why i played with them. It was easier and safer than talking to other people. However, imagine the kid who is always stood behind their parents whenever he goes anywhere and whispers his order to his dad and stuff at restaurants. Now, imagine this in WoW. You have to appreciate thats just pathetic. I never learned how to socialise with other people at all.

I dont live with them anymore and neither i nor they play WoW anymore. I dont even play vidya anymore.

>>35134856
>the kid who is always stood behind their parents whenever he goes anywhere and whispers his order to his dad and stuff at restaurants
I still do that with my bf and my mom

>>35135012
I havent been to a restaurant without my parents. I havent gone to a restaurant in years but i always had to do it then. I mean, i couldnt talk to people in video games so there is no way i could do it in real life.

>>35133064
>kike detected
Crohn's disease is pretty common among Jews, but I can assure you I am 0% Jewish.
>why don't you gas yourself?
I've thought about it, but I don't know if I could hurt my family like that.

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>>35133111

you are a good writer medfag, i would go to you for health advice

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>>35130582
>be normie at age 20 with my first gf
>break up because she was a manipulative cunt
>go back to college age 21
>have friends sort of
>graduate
>age 23
>almost had new 10/10 gf
>get cucked
>now an emotional trainwreck
>spend the next year hooking up with tinder sluts and brooding in depression
>get a career at age 24
>forced to wagecuck from then on
>friends from college have moved on and are far away
>coworkers are all middle aged
>spend the next 2 years there
>no longer have any desire to date because women are all bitches and whores
>no longer have any friends
>no real hobbies anymore besides shitposting on 4chen

that's it in a nutshell

>>35130582
Being superfat and practically hated by everyone for being fat and just generally ugly to look at.

Around 8 or 9 years old I started to understand how everything worked. I suspect my dad hates me and my siblings as well, I'm the youngest of 2 men and 2 women. I was born during a financial hardship when my dad lost his high paid job so I guess that's why he was angry towards me, and my sisters used to call me ''disgusting toad'' and harass me until I was 14 or something like that. After teenages hitted me, surprise! I am ugly.

It's all an amalgam of bad childhood mixed with mental scars and ugliness.

You just don't automatically become a robot. You're born a robot. I already knew I was different by the age of 5 because I always wanted to be by myself all the time. The thing with being social is that you never have full control of the situation. Never really had any friends in school. Spent all day playing PS2 in my room. I didn't get along with my extended family either. Throughout High school I hated myself for being an introverted kid but slowly throughout the years I have accepted I will never be the social butterfly Chad who gets lots of women and friends and it makes me feel more at peace.

I can't really pin it down on any one factor, I'd say it was just a result of shitty parenting and me digging myself into an even deeper hole as a result of it. My mom has always been an overbearing helicopter mother, who is a lazy piece of shit who never wants to work and hopped from beta provider to beta provider, resulting in me and my sisters being in poverty and occasionally homeless whenever her latest relationship would inevitably fail. For the first 11/12 years of my life, my dad was almost never present in my life due to him always being at work. Once I reached puberty, he lost his job, his dad and sister died in the same year and my mom cheated on him and left him, resulting in him drinking himself into an early grave at the age of 49, two weeks after my 14th birthday. Not having a positive masculine influence during my formative years and growing up in a house full of women (only sisters) probably fucked up the way I see romance and women in general big league.

From what I can remember, I was a pretty normal kid until I hit puberty at the age of 11/12. I wasn't the most popular but I had some friends But something changed about me then and I got fat. Even after losing all the weight, I was stuck with the weird fat-kid mentality and was unable to make friends. Also I lost the weight through what was essentially anorexia, which is probably why I'm so short compared to my dad (5'8 vs 6'3"). And no Stacy wants a manlet