Just fucked up a suicide attempt AMA Pic related

what could possibly have made you try to kill yourself using a plastic bag

>>35125918
Impossible to hang myself where I live without someone stopping me. Cant stand cuts. Solid enough attempt I just broke out of my hand restraints.

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>""""""attempt""""" suicide
>live
>"oh well lol"
>"time to get on the computer"

>>35125990
Yeah I figured ill try another attempt later on. In the meantime im bored why not banter about it.
Also figured the method was ridiculous enough to give people keks.

>>35125895
>buy gun and ammo
>load, cock, *click*, *boom*

Oh wow, that was so fucking hard.

>>35125955
>hanging
You too fat to hang, tubster.

>>35126129
>It's soo easy, you just shoot yourse--
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide_and_immortality

>>35125895
How did you fuck it up, did you pussy out or what?

>>35126129
Straya m8 cant get guns here

>>35125955
You in a hospital or similar? If so sounds like shit, how'd you get there?

>>35126212
Well I used stronk tape and taped my hands together behind my back whilst I still had oxygen but when I started blacking out I hulked out of it and tore a hole in the bag.

FUCKUP OF THE YEAR AND ITS ONLY FERUARY WEWLAD

>>35126207
kek. Interesting read, but if you removed your brain from your head with a slug, you're dead.

>>35126226
I live in a hotel and its very public. People can see in here easily and ive already had neighbors rat me out before.

>>35126129
>open eyes
>you're now in the hospital wing of a mental institution paralyzed from the neck down, with half your face blown off and an IQ of 60

>>35125895
How do you fuck up a suicide attempt lmao

Imagine being such a failure that you can't even kill yourself right

I would tell you to fucking kill yourself but apparently you can't even do that right

>>35126214
Are there guns? Because all you have to do is illegally get one.
And if your cuck government wants to throw you in jail, they can drag yor lifeless body into a cell.

>>35126245
You don't wanna die that badly then. What made you attempt it in the first place?

>>35126180
Is it even possible to be too fat to lynch yourself?

>>35126271
Yet that universe must necessarily exist where the gun misfires.

>>35126245
Use more tape next time anon.

Or don't kill yourself and ride the shit show of life.

>>35126271
>removing your brain with a shelless snail. What the fuck are you even talking about

>>35126301
Been wanting to do it for ages. Dont have any future and dont really want to wait it out.

>>35126304
Depends on the material you're hanging from, the material of the rope, and the knot.
>>35126320
>unfamiliar with shotgun ammunition
Never mind, don't kill yourself, you deserve to suffer with the rest of us.

>>35126278
Unlikely. Are you stupid, or are you lonely? How you gonna dis' me if you don't even know me?

>>35126290
Either do a better job or take a seat anon :^)

>>35126329
Things can always get better. If you kill yourself you are denying yourself any opportunity to improve your life. Also fucking your family up for the rest of their lives. Don't do it.

>>35126320
I like you. You are creative. I have never in my life heard that before.

>>35126347
That wasnt me that was some other stupid cunt

>>35126374
I dont live with family and they dont give a fuck.

Believe me if there was literally any reason to hang around Id definitely try to.

>>35126400
Dude. Who the fuck cares?

>>35126387
Hehe I like you too.
*smooch*

>>35126441
Apparently >>35126347 cares

>>35126400
Who gives a shit you worthless suicidal faggot? Go kill yours- OH WAIT LOL YOU CANT

>>35126483
Either do a better job than me or sit down anon :^)

>>35125990
literally exactly what I did both times after I attempted suicide

>first time I pulled a bin bag over my head and closed it around my neck with a zip tie, and then I zip tied my own hands behind my back and hooked them around one of my bed legs
obviously it didn't work, I ended up ripping the bag off my head with my shoes. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but it was after I got group beaten by brother/cousin. Went straight onto 4chan after

>second time I bought a straight razor and sliced at my neck a few times, I laid on my side ready to die and I feel unconscious

somehow I miraculously managed to miss my carotid artery so I just woke up covered in blood. After cleaning my wound it was about 3am, so I just browsed 4chan until the hospital was open.

oh well, atleast I semi feel like living now. In a few months I can move out of this shithole and live at uni instead

>>35126505
OP here. Maybe that second attempt is the universe telling you you are supposed to live friend :)

>>35125955
Exit bag? Height? Tourniquet? Comon op, youre better than this

>>35126421

Fair enough, fuck your family. If you'd succeeded in your attempt no-one would have mourned your passing. Since you're still alive you have the chance to make some friends and establish a base of people who care about you. Do that and you probably won't feel like an heroing anymore.

>>35126549
Apparently not. Hence why I'm still here.

>>35126567
Thats what my therapist tells me. Dreading telling her about this BS because shes just gonna give me shit again and probably more pills.

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>>35125895
Why not try again?

>>35126603
Because the first attempt did not work for very fundamental reasons. Saw someone further up used zipties. Gonna use those on the next try. FEET FIRST THEN HANDS.

>>35126180

>too fat to hang

No such thing. Back in the day we'd build a scaffold 30 feet high, jump from the top of the arm and tear our heads off like real men. You kids today.

>>35126601
Not browsing this board would be a good way to start sorting yourself out.

>>35126647
Post the infograph.
1:34pm

>>35126625
Good man, you don't learn anything if you don't fix your mistakes,

>>35126374
>implying the eternal bliss which is not feeling anything because you're dead isnt getting better

I dont understand normies and their failed logic. You're dead, you dont feel anything, no hedonism, no regret, no happiness, no sadness. You dont perceive anything, nor do you need to, because you are dead

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>>35126505
>until the hospital was open

>>35127053
>was accepting non emergency patients

there we go

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Suicide thread? Cool, I have some questions.

Is there some kind of suicide prep check-list? I have a lot of stuff that I don't want to be wasted, but not quite sure what should I do.
My organs can be of some use, right? I'm still young and sort of healthy (I smoke a lot, so lungs are gone already). Should I shave my entire body (including head and beard) to make the legists' work easier?

>>35127718
OP here.

I didnt give a rats ass what happens to my shit. I have pets that will inevitably starve before someone gets here to save them. Caged animals too so they wont be able to eat me. Hell maybe Ill let them out so they can. Honestly youll be gone. Why does it matter? Im not complicating it more than it needs to be.

>>35127718
>>35127829
Why the fuck do you care. You wont after you're dead thats for sure

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>>35125955
>not realizing that every second you don't get oxygen is irreversible damage done to your brain

>>35127718
>My organs can be of some use, right?
Fuck other people.
I'm not an organ donor because my shit might end up going to a degenerate drug user or some non-white person.

>>35127907
Yeah or a nigger.

God fucking forbid

Not an organ donor? Lol let's sell his shit in Chinatown

>>35127829
Let the pets go before you kill yourself you faggot, just because you're a pathetic fat loser who fails at everything doesnt mean your pets have to suffer because their pathetic fat owner decided to end his horrible life. Jesus. You're a stupid cunt.

>>35127907
>>35127948
You guys could go to hospitals, pick people that need organs, hire an attorney and make clear that the organs MUST go to these people, it's your dying wish after all.

>>35127992
I dont really care if they die lol why deny the inevitable? You care way too much. fucko.

>>35127992
>I CAYUH ABOUT DUH ANIMOLS DURRRRRRRRRRR

>>35126180
I am not suicidal or fat, but I did try to hang myself for curiosity. I don't know what I was thinking. I almost died and I keeping thinking to myself how scary suicide is and why do people actually execute it.

>in 10th grade
>had a suicide awareness in school because some Stacy suicided herself because of rumors and I think she got an abortion
>she od'd on pills
>go home and think about why people commit suicide
>go to my room and look up why people commit sudoku
>"I don't understand. maybe its something I have to experience?"
>grab extension cord from garage
>go to back yard, tie a noose to a tree branch and stand on chair
>kick chair back
>feel pressure in back of my neck from noose knot
>start flailing around like in idiot in midair
>"oh shit. I'm going to die."
>have flash backs. Life flashes before my eyes. Thinking about mom, dad, sister, brother, and dog
>tree branch snaps
>only get a scrape on my fore arm from falling into twigs

I've read and watched videos about people who survived suicide attempts. They think the same, "oh shit, I am going to die!" thing I did during my experiment.

>>35128199
>tried to hang myself for curiosity

>>35128199
>I'm not fat

But you are.

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for a reliable and relatively painless death use the charcoal grill method with a cheap tent

use CNS depressants, opioids or opioid like dissociatives to further reduce pain and harden your nerves
the easiest of these to get would be alcohol of your choice or DXM containing cough syrups

low end tents range around ~40$
a disposable grill and charcoal+fluid for ~20$

you could also do this indoors in a sealed room but you probably want more grills and should use lots of tinfoil as fireproofing so you don't burn down a property

>>35128885
Am I correct in guessing death will come due to carbon monoxide? Why would someone use that method instead of the exit bag method?

>>35129734
>Am I correct in guessing death will come due to carbon monoxide?
yes

>Why would someone use that method instead of the exit bag method?
most helium tanks now contain enough oxygen that you wont die
this is partly to prevent suicide but mostly because of worldwide helium shortages

>>35125895
Jump off a very, very, very tall building.

Benefits:

1) Death is 99.9999% guaranteed.
2) You get to experience free fall, which is a wonderful way to end a life

Downsides:
1) Humans have a natural fear of heights
2) Very small chance you will survive the fall, and live for a while, and end up like some 911 victims, who were trying pick up their intestines off the ground.

>>35128606
i would hang myself if i was a robot as well tbhsmhfamalam

>>35125955
Use a gun or jump off a building you fucking idiot

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Do robots actually kill themselves?
I browsed this board constantly in 2015 and first months of 2016 cause I was having some problems and was very depressed. Then things improved a lot but here I am again because I can't sleep at night and it makes me feel like shit I'm suicide-tier now

>>35128885
>going out like a roman emperor

uhh, no I think I'll stick to grocery bags thanks

Does it work to drink tons of anti depressant like xanax or klonopin?

>>35128018
dying from starvation must be fucking horrible

give this a good look before you do anything
lostallhope.com

I hear a great way to kill yourself is taking loads of barbituates.

Hard to get a hold of now.

Also don't kill yourself, my friends girlfriend did this, and he's never been the same. I went to primary school with her and her whole family is now absolutely fucked. While I can certainly empathize with your pain, it's still an incredibly selfish thing to do.

what a fucking attention whore, next time just snort dope stuff bleach into your asshole and do a handstand

>>35128018
Just let them live. Not everything is as worthless as you.