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So... I can't fall in love.
>Have a girlfriend online as a teen, wants nothing more than to have kids, and plays with herself on cam for me. Initial interest, but eventually I got bored and went back to vidya.
>She is a single mother now.
>Has several girls interested in me, and thought they were attractive too, enjoyed kissing them, but without fail the allure wore off within weeks.
>Nearly a decade kiss-free spell, where only event of note was early on, I was drunk and nearly slept with a friends cousin... and just sort of disconnected and lost interest when she was topless and her hand was like sandpaper on my dick. Laid there hard and frustrated, but unmotivated, until the sun rose.
>Settle into the idea of being a bachalor, and just using porn to vent the lust.
>Nearing 30, I panic about being alone still. Start online dating. It is shit, but eventually meet a 7/10 girl who is clingly, hard working, and financially better off than me who likely wants babies and a man as she is racing her biological clock, only a few years younger than me.
>Score. This is perfect for me.
>Break it off a week in, because I realise I don't want to deal with the time commitment, messaging, or financial changes.
>Realize I love the idea of being in love, but have never felt more than a passing attraction to anyone in my life. Realize I haven't even had a proper crush. The only people I've ever loved are my family. I've never felt romantic love.
>If I haven't yet, it's unlikely I will.
>I'm in an uncomfortable place where I still don't want to die alone, and still get horny, but am pretty content with my day to day life.
Anyone else been here? I suppose I could wait til I approach forty, get myself a nice mail order bride, and have a few kids with her. Even if she leaves, I can keep custody and my family, and just remarry.
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>>35116339
Honestly I never really felt "in love" but I'm not complaining. I don't have to spend my money on someone who'll most likely backstab me and there's much less stress in my life solely on the basis that I'm not in a relationship. Seems better to me honestly.
Also I don't really feel many positive things towards people which would damper a relationship but that's beside the point.
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Once, I think. But I was also scared of the man I loved. I called him a douchebag and ran away because I couldn't stand the conflicting emotions.
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>>35116339
I also had online girlfriend once. I met her on Omegle out of all places. We talked all day for at least two weeks untill she out of nowhere stopped reacting. I felt in love for the first time and she just dropped me. I felt bad for about a month. We never discussed any sexual stuff.
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>>35116387
I really did love him.. I just became convinced he was going to kill me. He called me evil when I started gathering evidence of his bullshit.
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>>35116339
It's great to fall in love, but as much as you tell yourself it's perfect and there's no way you two will break up, there's always a way.
It sucks.
Maybe you're asexual OP. I kind of envy you for not getting feels over other girls
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>>35116440
No. He clearly stated that he has sexual urges.
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>>35116339
I guess I'm sort of in love right now. I think.
What's the term/phrase for being with someone you fell in love with, but now you're just kinda content, you're not like head over heels with them, and sometimes they annoy you, but you're cool with living with them?
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>>35116385
See, the thing is I feel like I'm wired wrong that I can even type out that OP and mean every word. I feel like I'm commenting on the weather, when society tells me that somehow I'm strange. I'm generally a pretty positive person and compassionate to those around me. I just have a disconnect when it comes to romantic shit.
>>35116387
>>35116422
I... really don't know how to respond to that. I'm sorry to hear you went through that.
>>35116397
Sorry to hear it; and I think that's likely what the girl I met online felt, as there was no indication I was going to break it off, as I didn't even realize it myself. I know I should feel shit about it, because she probably did for a while, but again, total emotional disconnect. I'm just relieved i ended it.
>>35116440
I don't know, I still get horny and girls are my thing, so I don't think I'm sexless. Just broken somewhere maybe. Closest I've ever come was being really drawn to a certain girl and wanting to date her, liking her eyes and voice. But when that went nowhere, I was over it within a week.
>>35116483
Comfort. That's my ideal. If I could skip right to that part, I might manage. But I just can't do all the bullshit that comes first, even if I could stay interested for more than a fortnight.
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>>35116516
>But I just can't do all the bullshit that comes first,
If there's a bunch of bullshit coming first, maybe that's indication you should move on.
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>>35116516
People kind of accept my stance because I'm hardly an empathetic person and not really a huge people person. Having to see my parents constantly fighting and guilt tripping me (which stopped whenever I hit 15-17 because by then I became so jaded towards them I legitimately didn't and still don't give a shit, my dads not too bad though) probably soured my view on relationships as well, and a plethora of mental things certainly don't help in the slightest. I just can't connect to another person like that, so instead of crying over spilt milk (which is incredibly stupid if you ask me) I just decided that I'll do what I want to do instead of worrying about others. Maybe I am a sociopath or whatever, but I pay my taxes and bills, have no debt, and only got caught by the police once who practically gave me a slap on the wrist for what I did ages ago, so if anyone has a problem with that you can fuck right off.
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>>35116339
I have and it wasn't worth my time
all bitches do is fucking judge you and tell you you're not goof enough. Getting mad that you don't have a better job/body/social circle/etc. You're never good enough for them. What's the point of love if it's never returned?
You know 70% of divorces are initiated by women right? Fuck em. They're still fun to look at though
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