Who here having a bad day/week? Let out here ITT

Promised myself I'll study this week, still no motivation. On top of that I feel like a girl on her period this whole week. I don't even want to play vidya, I just sit in front of my computer hugging my knees and listening to music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-yaTMXph_c

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>>35102716
I've wasted so much time, and it's only now truly dawned on me. Still no plan.

Have a 10 page short story to write by next Wednesday, have a final project for geography and another geography project to do by Monday and haven't done either. Getting really stressed out by uni.

>>35102810
Do you think you have the willpower to turn off all your electronics, sit silently, eyes closed, for 15 minutes? It takes literally no energy

After that you might find that a simple chore, such as picking your clothes up off the floor and chucking them in a pile is a welcome relief from the "boredom" of the "lack of stimulation".

In turn this reward from completing a simple task might stimulate you to put those clothes in the washing machine, or your drawers, where they belong.

This might feel good too! Get rid of those dirty dishes, take them to the kitchen. Wow your room is looking pretty good..

Motivation can be a snowball effect. I hope this helps.

this was a bad week at work. really bad. might get fired soon.

i'm binging on junk food and drinking right now. haven't done either in over a year. this is the first time in a long time i've truly felt like i will kill myself.

>>35103027
I don't think that I can't stay away from electronics, it just that I get distracted easily.
When I think about studying it really doesn't seem so unpleasant, I really like my major and find it genuinely interesting. It's just that within 20 mins after grabbing a book my mind wanders everywhere.
I really have to force myself to study for more than an hour. The only time that I can study for multiple hours is the day before exams when I try to study a semester's worth of classes in one night.

My room is pretty clean btw

For some reason I've been completely exhausted all week and I've felt incredibly irritable at work the past few days.

Maybe it's because I haven't renewed my meds since Sunday.

Maybe I'm just finally cracking.

>>35103009
Procrastination is one of my biggest problems as well. What I do to curb it is keep all forms of entertainment away from me, as well as convince myself to just do it. Idk if it'll work for you but hopefully you get that work done on time

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>>35102716
it's the fourth time in a month that I spend the whole fucking week doing nothing and now I have few hours to prepare my classes for tomorrow.
Oh who am I kidding, it's no-sleep yet again. I'll finish at 6am, right before I leave for class without a shower.
And I even started on Monday.

>>35103129
That's messed up. Hopefully you won't get fired dude, but in the meantime find another one and build your resume if you have to.

I have...
A personality.
I hate admitting it.
And in my mind I dont, and ideally even when I have to acknowledge I do, I know its so fucking fragile.

The whole me that has taken two decades to create can be broken so easily. I have one person I can call a friend in the whole world and we only talk about twice a month through messages on soundcloud.

But something about my personality attracts acquaintances often.
I don't consider these acquaintances friends mostly bevause I might be mentally ill or have a strange concept of friendship.
But if I ever told these acquaintances how I feel they would become negative acquaintances. Or at worst, enemies.

But
I don't even want new friends anymore based off experiences.

People I meet who learn me
Who have to get used to the me I make an effort to hide.

They try to fix me
Attack things inside or about me

I just wish this wholr thing is ovr

>>35103736
>>They try to fix me
>Attack things inside or about me
Why do they do this
we accept people just as they are, why can't they

>>35102716
>Met a girl at school
>8.5/10
>She browses r9k
>She gets put in a nuthouse today
>She killed her hamster
>Made it into a omelette
>I ate the omelette she made
>Was tasty af

>>35103789
In the defense of "they".
I haven't been in continuous content with anyone in my age group for half a year.

Ive mostly been around men 30 to 50 years old.
So being a 20 yo "kid" they must steer me right as my, aloof sometimes acerbic nature causes them friction.

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>Haven't had a good week in ~3 years.

>been working this entry level shit paying job for 2 years since graduating college
>only days i ever get off are major holidays, never take off anything else because no friends anyway
>every morning have to wake up at 6 AM, catch train at 7, get to work at 8, leave at 430, get home at 6 PM
>hate waking up early, hate the job, etc

>get told to not come in yesterday (thursday) or today (friday) because they needed to get the building's numbers up and my position always counts negatively to the overall numbers

>should be happy but i feel like a completely worthless piece of shit doing nothing on a weekday

>>35102716
I didn't study for my exams and got too scared to leave the house so I haven't smoked in one week and I want to kill everybody reeeeeeeeeee

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>dropped out of uni
>family caught me on crazy amount of drugs
>diagnosed with social anxiety and major depressive disorder
Not the best time in my life.

>ran into the person who abused me for the first time in years last week
>so behind on uni work
>underperforming in group projecs
>been solo day drinking for the past 2 weeks
>averaging 3 hours sleep
>isolating myself from my friends

its the perfect cycle of self-sabotage
I have good friends that could support me but I'm bad at reaching out and now that I've moved home its much harder to meet up anyway

All I do now is lurk and talk to some online friends
>that crushing loneliness when they have real life shit to do

I'll be ok lads, w-we've got this

>>35104432
I'm so sorry anon, that's a tough combination, hopefully the diagnosis can point you towards some resources or coping mechanisms at least

my grandma's in the icu and my family is fighting

i'm the only one in my family who tries to keep it civil for everyone involved other than my grandma. she is literally my favorite person on this earth. i really hope she gets better, i'm not ready for her to die

I just want the screaming to stop but I know the only way it ends is with my death.

I always knew this wasn't going to have a happy ending.

>mom got diagnosted with cancer
>failed my first exam at uni
>might have testicular cancer

>>35103027
>Motivation can be a snowball effect
Good advice here. I went to the bathroom and when I came back to my bedroom I picked up a water bottle, picking up the water battle turned into vacuuming and cleaning my room.

There is no escape from wageslavery for me