Fucking deliveries thread

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>Order something
>can't wait for it to get here
>never have shipping issues from this place
>fully expect it on a certain day
>doesn't show up
>tracking says it got delayed
>"whatever. It will show up on Saturday."
>it doesn't.
>wait patiently until Monday
>it's a national holiday. No mail delivery.
>check tracking again
>doesn't actually matter because it's delayed again elsewhere anyway

>router stops working
>it's a shitty router provided by my ISP
>call them, they send they'll send a replacement within the next 3 days
>don't go out at all for 3 days because I'm the only one apt to receive the package
>it never comes
>call them again
>they say the delivery service acknowledged the delivery
>they send another one and ask for a bunch of details to make sure it arrives
>have to wait another 3 days
>3 days pass and NO FUCKING PACKAGE
>mother gets out of her depressive loop, decides we should go to the city and get it ourselves from the ISP office
>we go and get the router
>we finally have internet again
>10 days later, a package with a router arrives

At least I know which delivery service never to use. It's the only service with which I've had this problem.

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>>35008442
Let me hazard a guess which company it was.

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>order something
>you can't track it

>>35008442
Sounds like FedEx.

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today is a national holiday for americunts

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Fedex claimed they made a delivery and I wasn't home when I was sitting on my porch the time they claim they tried.

fucking love it

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>>35008225
>Order on Saturday
>Coming in tomorrow
>Hoping it comes in today
USPS please deliver soon

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>>35008225
I wish some companies wouldn't insist on listing the contents on the box. I have had shit stolen from me by some unaccountable foreign mailman more than once.

>>35008442
>>35008576
>>35008802

FedEx driver here, sounds about right. I honestly couldn't give a shit about your package, as long as I make a reasonable amount of deliveries, they won't notice if I just shove a few 'sorry we missed you' leaflets through people's doors.

>>35009319
Did you do this >>35009157
to me you dick sucking faggot

>>35009344

Depends, if a person has a dog I'll usually not even bother delivering, if I have delivered to them before and they are a cunt I won't bother

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I'll add, we have a massive blacklist of addresses, we share them with UPS etc

I got your package right here

*grabs crotch*

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>>35008225
>Order with Amazon prime
>Doesn't arrive the next day
>Get free prime for another month
>Prime runs out and I'm too poor to continue
>Look up student prime
>Get 6 month's free Amazon prime

>>35009319
I have rarely have a good experience with fedex. In fact there's a site out there called fedexsucks.com that nothing but people raging about how terrible you guys are.

>use fedex "smartpost"
>it's an advanced system that saves money by having fedex hand over the package to USPS instead of delivering it themselves
>costs more than USPS postage
>also takes up to three times longer than just using USPS...
>FedEx is somehow still in business

>>35009436
fuck does that mean?
you wont deliver to said address?

>>35009201
It's a national holiday faggot. USPS isn't running.

>>35009486
Isn't amazon prime some shit like 20 euros per year? Are you a hobo?

>>35009580
don't shatter my dreams

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>>35009486
>order with amazon prime
>doesn't arrive the next day
>tell them I need it by the next day because I'll be leaving the country
>they give me my money back(about $150)
>then send the product on the highest priority shipping, for free
>then give me $20 off on my next purchase
>then give me 6 free months of amazon prime

I mean, I can't even use amazon prime because I'm in a third world shithole right now, but hot damn

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I'm still waiting for my chink balls and I made a pit for these a week early

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>orders something
>package arrives a day before

>>35009802
You made a ball pit...

>>35009544

Depends, but it's unlikely. It means you will be lowest priority and if a driver is behind schedule he'll skip you. I personally won't deliver to any known address with a dog

>order two suits from China
>Right before Chinese new year's
>One month waiting time

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>package is late again (amazon.de)
>I know it's not going to come, probably stolen or missing
>have to wait another week to be able to contact amazon about it because they bumped the expected delivery date
>probably going to get banned because I had a missing package 2 months ago
>mfw

>>35010222
>probably going to get banned because I had a missing package 2 months ago
Why would you get banned?

The bunyip ate my tendies

>>35009962
Yea that's what I got the balls for

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>>35008225
>work for UPS
>handle every package with care
>still get shit on by Reddit and Memey

>>35008225
It's presidents day

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>>35008225
>order shit from Paizo through Amazon
>Ordered two weeks ago
>One order was a preorder and I didn't notice oh well
>Another order wasn't though
>Paizo still hasn't put the one box through for shipment
>MFW Those faggots are waiting to ship the two boxes together and I have to wait a month

>>35010265
Amazon bans you if you claim your package is missing too many times.
The thing is, I only ordered 3 things in the last 2 months. That's two missing packages in 2 months (total of 3 orders). They're definitely going to be suspicious and might even ban me. Their fucking fault for not having tracking on half of my orders. I used to always get tracking number/info (in 2014-2015), but ever since late 2015 it stopped. Now I always get "no tracking number for this order" or whatever.

>order lsd
>buy 10 to sell then 25 working my way up
>get enough to buy 100 tabs to make a grand
>never comes
I want to die

I have started redirecting all my packages to the local post office when possible. No more leaving packages practically in the middle of the fucking driveway in a puddle. No more 'hi we were here but you weren't,' notes.

About a year ago Amazon canada started using some cut rate nickel and dime dog and pony operation called Intelcom Courrier [sic]. They currently have a review rating of 1.5/5 on google with 142 reviews just from my city. These guys don't even have their own trucks. It's literally a dude in a 90's honda civic with packages stuffed in the pack seat. Worst shipping outfit I have ever encountered.

>>35010430
UPS is actually the best. I swear by them and in a perfect world, every logistics company would be as reliable and awesome as UPS.

>>35010610
Just put in a claim with the shipper

Oh wait

>>35010430
>>35010620

UPS is one of the best. Their tracking is way better now than it was a couple years ago. Haven't had a package go astray with them in several years.

>>35010430
Do you know you guys are way better than FEDEX just saying

>>35008982
Oh, fuck, I forgot people actually get off work today so I probably won't get my stuff.

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>package ships
>the carrier is DHL Global Mail

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>>35010817
no no no no no no no
worst service

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>Order onahole from Japan
>Delivered in 5 business days

>Order one from Germany one week ago
>They still haven't shipped the damn thing

German industriousness, my ass.

>>35011258
all shipping is now handled by (((Refugees))).

>>35011258
You can put it in my onahole desu

>>35011258
>13cm

why is it so small though?

>>35011355

Because it was made with the average japanese dick in mind?

Not that it really matters since these things stretch like crazy.

>>35009319
>not having pride in your work
bit miffed

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>>35011308
Comes probably already tested by Ahmad and Muhammed

>>35008225
>Where's my goddamn package
mine is sitting in my mail box right now but I am too lazy to get up and get it

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>>35010094
>fagex is afraid of puppers

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>>35008225
>order package with two day shipping, takes 6 days
>re-order same thing with one day, shipping, takes 5 days
>shipping today!!!!
We'll fucking see. You got like ~5 hours. Your move, FedEx.

>>35010355
Why though, who is it for?

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>Just need you to sign right here on this slippery electronic screen thing
>don't worry about not being able to grip the stylus, that you can't actually write on this thing, and don't worry that whatever you write will be unintelligible scribble
>oops! fucked it up.
>*beep* *boop* beep* *beep*..... *beep* *beep*..... *boop*....
>ok try it again.
>...
>wait. *beep* *boop* beep* *beep* *beep* *boop* beep* *beep* *beep* *boop* beep* *beep**beep* *boop* beep* *beep*
>*beep* *boop* beep* *beep**beep* *boop* beep* *beep**beep* *boop* beep* *beep**beep* *boop* beep* *beep*
>ok there we go.
>...
>you know what, forget it. That's good enough.

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>>35008225
Alright your faggots I'm going to cut you a sweet fucking deal so listen up. I'm a FedEx worker (not a pleb driver,) and being a FedEx employee, we sometime get special privelages with our package delivery. Every year we get ~15 chances to get our packages moved up to "high priority." This supersedes all the 1 day shipping and "overnight" bullshit. Now I personally never use this shit because I pick it up directly from the sorting facility usually. So for the first 15 people who reply to me with their tracking number, I will promote your package to actual high priority.
The catch: you have to be within the us

>>35013333
Better idea: Use any shipping method other than FedEx.

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>>35013333

Quality shipping and in tact packages will be granted to you, but only if you post
"Thank you quadsman of quick delivery" ITT

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>>35008699
>>35009344 +200 =
>>35009544 +200 =
>>35009744
>>35010222 (tribbls)
>>35011355
>>35010355 (1000 posts away from the above get, neato)
>>35013333 OhFuCK (thank you quads man of quick delivery)
>>35013400
All checked, try not to get any more dubs while I go check for my package.

guys Guys GUys GUYs GUYS THERES A HIDDEN ARROW IN THE FEDEX LOGO

I SWEAR IF DAT AINT ILLUMINATI OR SOME SHEIT IM NOT SURE WHAT IS

OH SHIT WHATS THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE
A FUCKIN SPOON BRO
THIS SOME REAL SHIT RIGHT HERE I FUCKIN SWEAR YOU FUCKING NIGGRRS CHECK THIS SHIT OUT RIGHT NOW CAN YOU SEE IT?

>been waiting 17 fucking months on a rifle scope
>absolutely no responsr
>motherfucker must have military orders to fulfill
Arms dealers are always the worst to deal with, total snobs
All they understand is force so now I have to seek authorities to shut him down

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>>35013730
What kinda glass you order
I have a huge hunting store (cabelas) with like 3 ~8x3x3 cases of just optics so I never have to worry about ordering that shit online and probably having it break.

>>35013844
Good optics don't break. This one's a Browe. I'd be more pissed but it's an amazing combat optic.
Still, never give those sacks of shit your money.

Got another one
>order lavvu from UK
>gets here to merica
>hot twat usps gal delivers it
>thanks ya cunt
>get phone call from carrier DHS
>snobby fuck represenative
>asks how my package got delivered it was supposed to be helt until I paid the hidden fee
>(((import duties)))
>tell the kid ain't my fucking problem but glad it got through, nice lavvu
>hang up
>get collection bills in the mail
>lolufockingwutmate
Not happening

>>35008225
>Order something
>See out for delivery
>Anxious and nervous constantly looking out side my door
>Jump in fright at the loud knock

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>>35013602
>it fucking works within the hour

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>>35014035
What are you shooting boyo
Peep my first dmr type build. Needs a new stock and a bipod and maybe eventually new glass/mount AND a handguard that doesn't feel McDonald's toy quality. but it works for now. Don't ever buy Springfield mounts. At least I can use iron sights and my scope at the same time, which is pretty fucking neato.
This is the loaded model if you happen to be wondering.

>>35009201
USPS works today you inbred nigger

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>>35014441
Here's my newest one, Springfield Saint
If I ever get this Browe BCO I'll purchase a Noveske just to slap it on there for my collection
My other AR is a LWRC with a Bushnell Elite scope, best glass for the price and super robust made in Japan

>>35014582
No they don't. Only priority express will get delivered on federal holidays.