I'm about to go to sleep, /r9k/. Tell me a bedtime story.

well there was once a boy who didint have much and durning this time he learned that it has to stop
so he went to the gym and tried to be himself put a fake smile on his face and tried to eat less
but after a while he said to himself "theres no point in doing this , nothing will change" so he gave up all of the sudden and played wow instead

>>35006085
Apparently the boy doesn't understand the english language very well, either.

>>35006124
apparently you should fuck off too reddit and have your first born child die in the incubator

>>35005957
This is probably gonna blow chode but this is based on a dream I had so whatever, man:

The forest was seemingly infinite, set on the verge of a highway that no man has set a foot on in tens if not hundreds of years, if the sunbaked crumbled paving of the road covered over by vegetation was anything to go off. But if one were to rediscover this abandoned road and head into the forestation, walk ahead for more miles than any man could physically manage, you'd find... a trailer park of all things. A trailer park on a flattened patch of land inhibited by woodland creatures, large sentient mushrooms with wrinkled faces and dwarves with an unhealthy, urine-esque tint to their skin. They lead a humble existence, after wandering through the woods and gathering food for most hours of the day they'd retire to their respective trailers and watch Star Wars movies on VHS. Small tidbits of the modern world often appeared from the back of the trailer park, a dark ominous space where no one really liked to venture due to the unexplainable anomalities that surrounded it. One day, early one morning one of the mushroom men closest to the back heard something drop from the void. It wasn't anything particularly impressive like they were used to. It was a log.

>>35006319
(Cont.)
They dragged the log from the back of the trailer park to the middle. Unsure what to do with it, they left it there, occasionally using it as a seat, in the winter mold grew over its surface. In the summer the mold dried and turned to dust. This cycle repeated many times. The log had no use. It wasn't until one day one of the dwarves, needing firewood one harsh winter, reluctant to cut down a tree, attempted to hack the log in half. As the first cautionary swing of his axe splintered the log, a loud cry came from it. The dwarf panicked, threw his axe to the side and picked up the log, who was now crying loudly and sounded completely inconsolable. Unsure of what to do, he took the log to his wife, surely she'd know what to do in this situation.

"The log... it cries."
"I can hear that, Snegmor. Why, it almost sounds like a baby."
"It does. Doesn't it?"

There was a pregnant silence between them. The two had never managed to conceive a child, despite many attempts and many miscarriages. His wife held the log in her arms and stroked its rough surface gently, the log began to calm down and coo, once again, sounding much like an infant.

"We're keeping it, Snegmor. That's why it's here. It isn't like the TVs or the microwaves... it's here for something more special than that."

The log giggled happily

"I won't argue with that."

>>35006392
That's all I got. Hope you have a good sleep and nice dreams about the log and its dwarf family.

>>35005957
I just told a true story about a certain part of my life in this thread, if you want to read
>>35005270