>tfw I put a kid into a coma by accidentally sitting on him

>>34998790
How do you accidentally sit on someone? Are you retarded?

>>34998832
Damn beat me to it
we need more info op

If it makes you feel any better, there's a possibility that the kid could've grown up to be a murderer or a serial rapist, and if he dies you could maybe be a hero.

Playing the victim card is a good way to go. Should probably chop your dick off for the extra pity, might need it to avoid jail.

>>34998790
hahahahaha thats what you get for being fat you dumb fuck

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>>34998832
>>34998873
>kid is laying down on bench
>don't see the kid, just the bench due to the angle
>have been walking around for ten minutes and desperately need a place to sit
>feel like I'm about to pass out
>rush over to the bench and just collapse into it
>feel something squirming underneath me
>try to get up but I make it worse by rubbing my ass into the kid
>finally fall forward onto mall floor after thirty seconds of panicked butt rubbing
>kid falls forward onto floor with me and hits his head, adding to the damage
>kid is in coma, little chance of recovery
>if he dies I will be facing manslaughter charges

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>>34998790
I, too, accidentally put a kid in a coma because of my fat. It was at a McDonalds. I was shoveling McNuggets into my mouth and he was trapped in between my elbow and the wall. I kept eating and I didn't even feel him there. Every time I shoveled, I smashed his head against the way with my elbow... After my third bucket I felt something slip under the table and just saw his limp, comatose body.

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Try to pass off the blame on your weight. Sitting on someone isn't a crime. If you crush them Monday by sitting on them it was the fault of the weight you gained because the SYSTEM was set up AGAINST you!

Notice how I capitalized some of those words to add emphasis? Come Out Swinging with that kind of attitude my nigga

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>>34998790
holy fuck I literally had nightmares of obese people sitting on me and me not being able to scream help

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Well I didn't kill no kid but my sister sure made a fuss when I accidentally sat over her guinea pig, effectively killing it in the act. Her fucking fault for leaving that stupid rat on the couch unsupervised. Now I have to be the butt of my dad's jokes because of her incompetence.

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>>34998790
Please be a troll
Hdbfbr

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>>34998990
This deff trollin

>>34999170
I wish it were. At first I though he was dead. I sat there staring at him and drinking my diet soda. I considered eating him to hide the body but I decided to get more mcnuggets instead and just leave him there. Thank god no one found me out.

>>34999256
police report/mugshot or fake.