Recovery Thread

C-cmon guys doesn't anybody wanna feel better? Here's a song by the way

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ckqO2zjL5Wk

>>34987336
If I wanted to feel better I wouldn't be here

>>34987345
Nobody wants to be depressed anon, they just don't know how to fix themselves

Try doing something constructive, even something really small

>>34987345
This ^
Every time I go to r9k it's to bitch about problems and laugh at other people being autistic. If I wanted to get better I'd be making the music I'm supposed to be making right now, or work on this shitty research paper.

>>34987387
Well being on r9k isn't gonna do anything to help. Why not go find a new source for your paper or write a couple lines for your song?

I feel shitty too anon but wallowing in sadness is just gonna make it worse

Eventually there comes a time when a robot will either break or have to change and get better

>>34987209
I'm not even particularly sad or depressed. I just want some robot friends from the UK but i'm too scared to post any of my personal information in case I get bullied.

>>34987899
Make a throwaway Skype or kik that you can talk to people on! You could also try meeting people irl. Ive met tons of irl robot types

Recently I've learned that we mus overcome our own self-consciousness when we attempt something.
Whatever it is, maybe it's jogging in the morning, or going out with a huge camera hanging on your neck because you actually want to try photography (not because you're some hipstershit), or practicing martial arts in a park.
We are doing something new to us and so we feel that all eyes are on us, even if we know they arent, and even if we know we shouldn't be giving a fuck about the people outside, even if we may think there are Chands and Stacies out there making fun of us. The real deal here is dealing with our oun self-consciousness, of doing the thing regardless of who may be watching. We are going to feel uncomfortable at first about this, but if we grind, we start feeling at ease with ourselves, and eventually we forget about the outside world as we enter the pleasure of doing the activity.
I hope this reaches someone, or not, it don't make no difference.

>>34988206
Great post anon

I'll keep this in mind next time I feel people staring at me

>>34988010
If you meet them in real life then they were cyborgs/normals, not robots.

>>34987209
Be glad that your problems are only in your head.

>>34987209
I don't want a partner. I know some people are nice (I hang out with my friends most of the time). I give 0 fucks if people judge me, we're all fucked up in some way. I'm extremely against extreme politicaal ideologies.
And yet i have suicidal thoughts everytime i go to bed and hope i dont wake up. I dont want to kill myself, but i dont want to live either. I know there's good things out there, but even so i cant get to feel better. I keep moving forward, expecting shit to change, but it's harder and harder everyday. I turn from sad to angry from the smallest things.
And the funniest thing is that I dont feel so sad, it's become like my standard life already.

>>34988273
Careful what you wish for.
Irony is a bitch.

>>34988472
I would gladly exchange my hideous face for some mental issues.

>>34988495
Grass, greener.

>>34988445
>friends
>"so depressed xd"
Fuck off, seriously. Some of us haven't had a friend since elementary school.

>>34988495
And then you would want to change your mental issues for an ugly face. You should think carefully about that.

>>34988532
>Hurr durr my life is worse than yourss
You speak as if friends were everything in life buddy. It's your own fault if you haven't been able to speak to anyone, or maybe you've some mental issues. It doesn't matter the situation, you could be a richfag with lots of friends and be depressed.
All you've showing us is that you're a loser seeking for attention.

>>34988539
I wouldn't. People let you get away with anything if you are hot. I have a friend who is a Schizo and still has a gf because he is hot.

There is no point in wishing for another man's life.
We must deal with our own issues if we want things to get better.

>>34988612
GFs are not all. If someone loves you because you're hot, she's probably a slut or just a stupid human being. I had a GF that literally ADORED me, and i dumped her because she had no criteria at all.
Girlfriends are not the end to our problems. I would recommend get some good friends, which is way easier and, in my opinion, better and lasts longer.

>>34988584
>virtue signaling
>just world fallacy
>hurrr durr u loserrr
Can you be any more of a normie? Just fuck off. Nobody cares about your "depression"

>>34988669
This is a non bully thread

We're here to help each other not tear each other down

>>34988669
Can't you be more of a fag? The point was not my depression, but this guy >>34988532 's pretending us not to complain because he has had no friends since ES. Fuck off

>>34988656
>I had a GF that literally ADORED me
Stopped reading here. You are a normie and you have 0 business giving real robots "advice". You have no idea how it feels to be ugly and treated like a subhuman. You have no idea how it feels to never been loved in your entire life.

>>34988767
Yes, you are a normie cunt if you come to a board full of friendless virgins and complain how bad you have it because you are "depressed" despite having friends and not being a virgin. It would be like me going to a homeless person and telling him how bad I have it and how depressed I am because the roof on my 3 story mansion is leaking.

How do you hide your robotness in social settings? Especially when the topic turns to sex. The few times it's happened I just stand/sit quietly and laugh whenever other people laugh.

>>34988955
Fake it till you make it.
I always claime to have had loads of sex, when I've been inside a vagina for about 10 minutes in my whole life (not including my birth)

I hate trapfags and I think they should all die.

>>34988787
I know what you mean, I'm 28 and I've never been wanted until very recently and I don't mean normie dramatization either, I mean fucking war with family and reviled and targeted by everyone else, I had already accepted and made peace with becoming a wizard.

I finally got what I wanted and you know what?
It was good for a moment but I'd rather be alone at this point. There is this saying there are two tragedies in life, one is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.

It literally doesn't solve shit, especially if you aren't happy alone, it will only make it worse, you think it will fix your motivation, give you something to do it for but the reality is that it's just another burden you must be willing to carry but it is a burden either way.

You've been spared a lot of drama and time wasting and you've not missed out on anything of actual significance.

>>34989232
I get what you mean, but because it didn't make you happy or fix your problems, doesn't mean it will be like that for other people.

How do I have genuine conversations with new people? I can never think of what to say, and just end up looking like an idiot.

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>>34988495
you're funny deus.... hilarious really

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I want Remfag
Come to me
I'm lonely without you Remfag
I just need your love
Please come home

>>34989393
Ok I'm cumming.

The worst anxiety I get is dealing with phone calls. It started years ago when my mom was being chased by debt collectors and they would call her teenage son and demand all these answers. I used to avoid phone calls until one of my closest friends kept calling me and when I finally answered, I had to talk them out of suicide. Now whenever I hear a phone ring, I get feelings of impending doom, but ignoring the phone call makes me imagine I'm watching someone drown and I'm the only person around to help. I'm currently waiting for a call with someone who wants to produce a podcast with me and my nerves are going crazy just prepping myself for the ring tone.

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Uber driving is the ultimate robot job if you can do it (borrow your parents car).

Everythings on your time, so you can do it when you feel good, avoid during times of anxiety, wear what you want, and most of it is done at night.

Something to aspire toward if it sounds like you can do it (I know some can't handle even 1 on 1 interactions)

my daddy fucked me and i luvd it
he taught me that girls are sposed to be dumb and shut up and look pretty and i do my best!!

he taught me girls exist to giv and receive pleasure and that i should b happy and proud he and his friends chose me & want to fuck me

when my hips started growing in he told me i was growing handles so he could fuck me better and that it was prove that women are made for sex. i felt happy that i was useful and totally 100% fulfilled in my life and purpose..

then he got caught and i learned that everything he said is (apparently) wrong and "bad" but i cant shake what he taught me.. when i look in the mirror i see a succubus. i am a sexual angel, and i luv it and i luv sex and i love him and i spend every waking moment wishing i could go back 2 being his slut again

i'm hypersexual. i can't even go to the store to get groceries w/o leaving with some boys cum on my boobs. my therapist says its to self harm somehow. she doesn't understand how happy it makes me, how im not comfortable in normal life like i am when some1 is using me for what i'm made for.

whats wrong with feeling how i feel??? im so happy & satisfied & content.. All the other girls i know are frustrated & unhappy & i think its just bc they try to preten dtheyre something different than they are

>>34989562
That's nice. I hope you find a high sex drive bf to satisfy.

>>34989562
>my therapist says its to self harm somehow
People think life is somehow a binary right & wrong, where right is something other people told them was right.

>>34989645
i hav a few sugar daddies that fuck me real real good & give me a lot of jewelry im so?? happy???

>>34989706
That's fine, but don't you wanna get a bf and have kids?

I went outside to the park yesterday and threw a boomerang for about an hour.
It was really, really fun. Something about the sight of it curving around in a gentle arc and returning is really satisfying. I even managed to catch it a few times.
I had to go back before I wanted to because some other people turned up at the park but the fact I was in the same location outdoors for an extended period of time is a fairly big step.

>>34989769
someday mayb but idk?? i dont think i could trust myself w a female child. like as much as im enjoying myself i do recognize it's wrong enough 2 be uncomfortable when i think of it happening 2 someone else

>>34989833
You can raise your kids however you want though.

>>34989832
I might try this at night. Where did you buy your boomerang?

>>34989928
An op-shop.
It's only a cheap tourist one but as long as you get the throwing motion right, it works.
When I tried years ago, I threw it like a frisbee so naturally it didn't work.
The first throw I did yesterday when I actually threw it correctly, it started curving straight away. After about twenty minutes of practicing, I'd gotten the motion down pat so I could always get it to land within two metres of me.

I think the boomerang is the perfect robot throwing device. You can play catch and you don't even need a friend.

>>34989904
idk, i dont trust myself not 2 hurt them

>>34990108
>>34989833
>>34989706
>>34989562
You're a fucking idiot.
I don't give a shit if your sucking off guys for money but could you at least get them to proof-read your shit first?
It reads like a twelve year-old's MSN message.

>>34990153
i know im sorry but i wasnt allowed to go to school or learn much i was told itd be distracting..

>>34990153
*you're sucking guys off for money
Whoops, let that one slip by me.

>>34988612
im hot, have schizophrenia and have a gf
i would be an ugly neet without a girlfriend or money if it would mean not being schizo, i live in torment nonstop and theres nothing i can do to stop it

>>34990204
Fuck off, there are ways to treat what you have. Ugly is incureable.

>>34990252
>implying looks matter that much

seriously, looks doesn't mean shit for guys, just have a nice hygiene, dress nicely, have a nice hair and you are good to go regarding looks

More important are confidence, social skills, status, social circles and shit like that, and all of that can be reached if you really want to

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>>34990335
Are you really telling me these two guys have the same sexual prospects? If you really think so, I think you might have more than Schizo.
If you looked like the guy on the right and did all that, girls would still avoud you like the plague.

>>34988646
What's the point in this kind of edgy thought though? This isn't even the compassion of a person you barely know about but the true advices of anonymous people who are also struggling to become a better version of themselves. For me, it is what happens within an ideal community
>>34988206
This post was great, thanks!

> be schizoaffective
> have no goals, desires or motivation to do anything
> have opportunity to visit a supportive housing program
> go feeling optimistic about it
> completely hated it
> don't think I could live there for a whole year without wanting to kill myself again
> parents are pressuring me like crazy to go
> no other options if I bail out of this

I'm just so conflicted. If I don't go I don't really have any alternatives, but if I do go I'll probably become dysfunctional again.

i found a guy to give me private sitar lessons & i found a new, better gym. Idk there's that i guess. It's still really hard to leave my apartment though. Hoping the new obligations will get my ass in gear.

is it possible that clincal depression + general anxiety disorder can morph or lead to schizophrenia? I've been having worries lately & it's still a bit until I see my therapist again

Holy shit op is adorable.

My recovery isn't going great. I have a plan to kill myself. I just need supplies, but I'm fucking broke. I know I should tell my therapist, but it's a realistic enough plan that I'll get sent to a hospital. Not that spending time in a hospital would be so bad, but I can't miss work right now, currently broke as fuck.

>>34990108
I see. Well, at least you know yourself well enough to prevent that situation from happening.

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>>34990863
tl;dr incoming

>bipolar type 1
>severe OCD
>necrophilia
>at my lowest was homeless, a college drop-out, in debt, working part-time in retail after being kicked out of the military, friendless, completely estranged from my family, had no hope of ever being in a relationship and thought it would be impossible to ever get better

>fast forward 7 years

>on the correct dose of lithium, haven't had a manic episode from bipolar in over two years
>after nearly a year of exposure therapy, have completely controlled the intrusive thoughts from my OCD to the point that it's manageable
>in a relationship with a woman who understands my paraphilia and accepts me for who I am, even though I struggle terribly with it
>living in a nice home with a few roommates
>going back to school in August
>debt completely paid off
>upper management in a growing company
>have made friends online that would take a bullet for me, meet in person a few times a year
>have repaired my relationship with my family

>taking four medications
>therapy at least once a week
>bust my ass every single day to keep getting better

I thought it was completely impossible to come out of the hole I was in but my determination led me to keep working on my problems until things improved. It's still hell to live with the mental illness (I drink more than I should) but jesus, I can't say it enough that if you're willing to work on yourself, things CAN get better.

>>34990377

Med fag. You don't understand true schizophrenia.

Your overall cognitive and executive functionon declines by about 50% from your late teens to your 40's.

A lot of people assume the homeless ppl on the streets are whacked out because of drugs and alcohol, and it's true many have wernicke-korsakoff, but a large portion of them just are what you get after 40 or 50 yrs of having a schizophenic brain. It's pretty sad.

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>>34991896

>Your overall cognitive and executive functionon declines by about 50% from your late teens to your 40's


Tell me you're larping as a medfag and that that is not true. I was shit as a teen and I'm not far from 40. Am I fucked?

>>34992133
Not that guy and not a medfag but it's general knowledge that schizophrenia causes your cognitive functioning to decline harshly from your late teens on. Good news is proper medication can slow the process drastically.

i know twitter is kind of normie but jomny sun has great tweets for feeling like things could get better. here's a "greatest hits" thing he retweeted recently, it's not everything but it's a good start:

https://twitter.com/i/moments/806182223955173376

>>34991578

thanks for that, man, it is quite encouraging though we don't suffer/haven't suffered from the same sort of things

does anyone want to be friends? i feel like it might be helpful if we spoke to each other each day or whenever to help each other out?

>>34993650
Of course anon, but aren't we all friends on /r9k/?

>>34989232
if this is true there is 0(zero) reason for me not to kill myself right now

>>34993703
Find reason to live within yourself anon not through a gf

But then again, for some people a gf really does help. Why are you depressed? If it's a feeling if loneliness and lack of connection then a special someone would alleviate that pain

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>>34992133

This is a well established thing. But schizophrenia... NOT schizoaffective personality d/owhich is honestly tenously linked to any real psychotic disorder and probably isn't really linked at all. I know a lot of ppl here tend to self diagnose as schizoaffective so let's just be clear.

Contrary to what perception may be, schizophrenia is fairly rare and nearly completely debilitating. I would be surprised to anyone even here with actual schizophrenia...

http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/6/3/161

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My only piece of advice is to start cultivating good habits by being frivolous in your pursuit of establishing the good habits, because it's hard to create new habits, the rest will fall into place.

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>thinking about the only crush I had
>Girl from 6th grade
>Is one year older than me
>tfw yelled I would toss her out a window
>7th and 8th grade forgot that and she tried to reach out to me
>Ignored her for my "friends" who fucked me over in 9th grade
>Move to different place after freshman year
>Find out through her Facebook she is already married and had a child at 19
>mfw I realize I'm 19, virgin, and fucked up at my chance at getting with my "special one"

>>34991578
Thanks for sharing anon. Your story inspires me to strive to be a better person even if only little by little.

>>34994939
>already married and had a child @ 19
uh you didn't miss out on shit you dumb faggot. I would say you dodged a bullet

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>>34995240
>I would say you dodged a bullet
I doesn't feel like it

>>34989483
are you a shill?
drove uberselect for a bit, almost everyone driving uber is losing money in real terms; it's a scam which allows people to destroy their equity in their car and get compensated for it at pennies on the dollar in cash the gross of which is still often below minimum wage
just saying, I love uber, but I wouldn't recommend anyone drive for it... just keep taking it while they're undercutting taxis.

>>34995337
Interesting, I never considered the equity value of the car depreciating. that nigga4sho a shill

>>34994223
I'm not 100% sure why I'm depressed, but I've never had a GF so gonna either keep trying to get one or commit sudoku.

>>34993603
>>34995129
Thanks guys. It means a lot to help out other people even a little bit, regardless of what issues you might be suffering from. I hope you can find a way to feel even better in the future.

May not be exactly the right thread, but I will post a bit about myself and hopefully get some advice since I am afraid to ask anyone in real life.
>leave home for first time last year in June, haven't been back
>move around a lot, finally settle down for a little bit to learn some stuff and go to school for awhile
>a girl who is in the same situation as me comes a week after I arrive in Cali
>I befriend her, and she is in my small class of 6 people and has been for months now
>back in October, she broke up with her bf because he was too much of a killjoy for her, did nothing but complain
>we hang out often outside of class, but the problem is that I have depression and anxiety
>tried killing myself last month and got into some shit for it, recovering now
>she is the person I told, and I am afraid that because of this she will begin disliking me
>I am afraid to open anymore after how hard it hit last time, and as much as I like her I don't think I can do anything
>she invited me out Saturday, and we spent the day together, just the two of us
>she tells me about what she did before coming her, what she wants to do, and things like that
>I reciprocate a bit, and it is a great time all around
>tomorrow, Monday, she has invited me out again to spend more time with her

I want to tell her how I feel tomorrow, but the problem is that I don't know how to put it into words, and I still feel like I don't deserve this anyway. Does anyone have advice they could give me for tomorrow?

>>34987209
>people may be shitty in general but sometimes some people are nice
people are disgusting. The people you come across that are nice are just pretending. People being nice without motive is non-existent.
>try and take a shower each day and brush your teeth, you'll feel better overall
my teeth are fucked up and I'm too poor to get braces most of my teeth already have cavities so brushing will most likely just slow them from rotting.
>no one is judging you or looking at you if you go outside, and if they are, fuck em
Yes they are. People are terrible. They'll insult you to make themselves feel better about themselves by putting you down or to make themselves look cool in front of their friends. They will instantly talk about you behind your back the instant you leave the room.
>the more you work on yourself the more likely you are to get a gf
Even if I wanted a gf or even friends what is the point of "working on myself" for anyone but myself?
>following extreme political ideologies and hating certain groups of people isn't good for your mental health
Hating groups of people would imply I care about them, which coincidentally, I don't care about them. They don't affect my life in the slightest.
And most importantly
>you may not feel better now but if you keep taking steps in the right direction it'll add up over time
This is a big lie. It doesn't get better. Telling people that it will get better and building them up will just make them more depressed when they realize their life isn't getting better. Life isn't all gumdrops and butterflies. You're not going to be in a constant state of euphoria. People have lived through worse. You're just going to have to come to terms with life instead of constantly trying to fight against it. If you have a you against the world attitude you're not going to get very far in life.

>>34987209
I don't want to get better.

>>34987365
>they just don't know how to fix themselves
When you don't know how to try, it can feel really good to choose not to try.

>>34996478
>people are disgusting. The people you come across that are nice are just pretending. People being nice without motive is non-existent.
This is true but their fake niceness is a net positive so just accept the kindness and ignore the motive
>my teeth are fucked up and I'm too poor to get braces most of my teeth already have cavities so brushing will most likely just slow them from rotting.
That's a dumb excuse anon just brush your teeth it'll help
>Yes they are. People are terrible. They'll insult you to make themselves feel better about themselves by putting you down or to make themselves look cool in front of their friends. They will instantly talk about you behind your back the instant you leave the room.
Sure but they don't actually give a fuck about you, no one is special to anyone else. They might mock you but it's no big deal in their minds so just ignore it
>Even if I wanted a gf or even friends what is the point of "working on myself" for anyone but myself?
People like likeable people.
>Hating groups of people would imply I care about them, which coincidentally, I don't care about them. They don't affect my life in the slightest.
If they don't affect you in the slightest then they shouldn't make you so angery
>This is a big lie. It doesn't get better. Telling people that it will get better and building them up will just make them more depressed when they realize their life isn't getting better. Life isn't all gumdrops and butterflies. You're not going to be in a constant state of euphoria. People have lived through worse. You're just going to have to come to terms with life instead of constantly trying to fight against it. If you have a you against the world attitude you're not going to get very far in life.
I don't have a "me against the world" attitude. I'm not saying it's gonna be perfect and everything's gonna come up roses tomorrow morning. But it does get better, well, it can if you try. Maybe it won't be perfect but you can improve

>>34996546
Everyone wants to get better anon

>>34996647
You can always learn to try

>>34990706
>I can't miss work right now
Do you still care about this world? You don't really wanna kill your self anon

>>34991578
Proud of you anon

>>34996298
Don't pull a Ted Mosby on her. Don't tell her that you love her and all that shit. I'll be back with more info; just enjoy the time you spend with her, and keep hanging out together.

>>34996891
I wasn't planning to go full autismo, I don't think I even have that kind of thing in me to say that much. I just want to tell her I would like to try to take things further.

Higher test = lower anxiety

Lift, eat greasy food, eat less sugar, take zinc pills.

Everything else will come on its own you just gotta be patient

>>34996750
>You can always learn to try
As soon as I get an appetite for disappointment and fatigue.

>>34997036
Don't set your hopes too high, just in case you blow out

But just try taking steps in the right direction

>>34996824
Thanks so much man. All of the positivity in this thread is a nice change of pace.

I'd try and give some advice to all of the suicidal and guys feeling hopeless ITT but honestly, when you're ready to feel better, you'll start climbing out of that hole. No one but yourself can help you to feel better, and empty words from an anonymous stranger online will not change a lifetime of grief and solitude.

I genuinely hope everyone here finds a way to do better, even if it's the smallest of improvements just day-to-day.

>>34996891
>>34996920
By the way, what did you mean when you said you would be back with more info?

>>34997476
Little steps. I tried to make drastic changes and fell apart. Had a shit night last night and I realized I need to stop going down this rabbit hole of shit and try and at least go somewhere positive, however slow I might be

Life is tough but maybe it'll end up okay

>>34997513
Hell ya bud. Small steps are fucking key. Try and tackle everything once and you'll crash and burn- but approach one problem at a time, and learn to live with it? Recipe for success.

Life is a bitch and a half but I hope everything works out for you.