How do I get NEETBUX?

Where are you from OP? What country?

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>>34959893
I'm a britbong, I don't think it's easy to get NEETBUX here, especially with the current government.

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>>34959882
Either inheritance or disability....about it bub
..or you could invent something and get raped selling your idea,

Chop your leg off.

>>34959882
>>34959959
get ready for a life of pain buddy

>>34959959

https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/how-to-claim

https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/eligibility

https://www.dwpe-services.direct.gov.uk/portal/page/portal/jsaol/lp

Easy. There you go.

>>34959968
Actually you'd still be expected to work in those circumstances in the UK. \Fake insanity OP.

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>>34959882
I literally became homeless before receiving neetbux, social workers ended up approaching me..
Shelters, soup kitchens, and libraries are your friend.

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>>34959982
Good news: I'm eligible.

Bad news: I'd have to be in an interview with people which means I'll probably fuck it up and not get NEETBUX.

REEEEE

>>34960107

The interview isn't anything scary, its just asking a few questions and clarifying, they don't take you into a room and interrogate you, its over in 5-10mins. Don't worry about it and good luck. Make sure you take everything in that the form asks you if it does.

>>34960107
stop being lazy you shit

>>34959882
Migrate to sweden or germany senpai

>>34960156
I can't. I've always been like this and no amount of self-discipline or external help I've received ever helped. I've starved myself before because it's less effort than having to get up and make food.

>>34960012
Homelessfags are disgusting

>>34960207
Every NEET on this board mooching off of his parents is a future homeless.

>>34960223
No I use to wagecuck but now I mooch off tax payers, everyone else does it might as well live the comfy life

>>34960223
Dad get off the computer and get back to work...this princess needs her new jammies...

>>34960294
shut up homo fag!

>>34960207
True, but sometimes there is no other option.

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>>34960124
This is very important, can I get into trouble if I pretend to be a refugee? My father is English and my mother is Filipino, I'll know everyone in the waiting room will be dole veterans that look at me like some shitskin rapist, I need a laugh, I need something to live for and remember. If I put on an accent say "hello I come from calais" "pls gib moni" "i no go polan cus worst than syria" with a straight face on I won't get into trouble for wasting their time right?

After I'm done with my joke I'll go back to my normal local accent, wack out my fathers army mug and 23andme results then go on at length about my English heritage. I know I'll probably have to speak on the phone to book the interview and they will have my english forename/surname but I'll put on the accent regardless as I need the laugh, will I face punishment or a fine? I've been a NEET for 2 years and I haven't annouced my situation to the job centre or found a job, I did have a woman from the council call me a year ago but she was fine with it. Not OP btw

>>34960612

Don't dick around, just answer everything they ask and don't try to be funny.

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>>34960631
I appreciate the serious answer but some nights I've thought of killing myself in the shower when my parents are out the house, I need something to live for, I've already been fined once before (nhs penalty charge) for lying about being on jsa when my dentist asked me. I just need to know if these interviewers will be very busy people that will throw a fit and fine me on the spot, I'm fed up of people seeing me as an animal and I enjoy making them feel uncomfortable but its like my fathers English side of the family don't exist, I need this laugh I actually feel like an arab now I will not shave for a while before the interview and I hope I don't pussy out. The accent will be shit but I look like a rapist anyways, I cross the street if I'm about to pass a female and/or child because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable having to share their pavement with a foreigner, having to share their country with a foreigner, my father is English and so was all his forefathers, I was born in this country but because my mother is a mustard monkey from the Philippines I am worthless, I will never be English, Polish have more right to be here than I ever will, I need this laugh I know for a fact I'll be working for minimum wage anyway so why shouldn't I have a laugh?

>>34960755

Look senpai, just apply for it online, go to the interview and take it one step at a time, don't do anything stupid and just try to relax, they aren't going to probe you, just answer the questions and provide the correct information and you'll be done as quick as that.

Think of it as a step towards a better life, it'll be nice to have some money.

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>>34960870
What is JSA again 50GBP a week? Sure I was spending 45GBP a week for 2 hour driving lessons, the hoops and the people I'll have to see in that place make me uneasy, I'm surprised they still do JSA and ESA. Even if I don't put the accent on I'll still bring in my 23andme results which cost me 149GBP jewish deposit, I'll polish my English fathers army mug with brasso and a sock it'll shine like silver. I know heritage won't count for much as all the people I've seen coming in and out seem to be fully English, but I don't want them to think I chose to move to this country, or forced them to share their air with me.

I was born in this country, I had no hand in my English father fucking a foreigner, I had no part in my conception, all I knew was I woke up in a hospital in England and half of my family were English, the only family I've ever known have been English other than my monkey mother. It wasn't my fault I'm here, I didn't crawl across a continent to make people feel disgusted when they pass me on the street, I never chose to be born a halfcaste here, why would I want that? I don't want to disgust people, I tread on eggshells when I'm outside, if I'm following a girl for too long because I can't pass her and shes on my route, I'll cross the road or walk back I don't want her to feel raped, I don't want her to be scared by some shitskin breathing down her neck.

I will have this laugh, not sure how many people will be in the room though, or if I can just blurt out "I'm from Calais" "gib moni pls" not sure what questions they ask, If they ask for a fixed address I'll say the back of a Hungarians lorry, then the rest will follow.

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>>34959882
Disability
Other than that you're fucked
Easiest way is to create something and sell it. It could be art in any form or something useful like a tool.

>>34961199
OP here. Could I sell rare pepes? I made the one in OP pic myself in a few minutes. I could start a pepe market.

Is this a good investment of my time?

>>34961165
Do what you want, but don't expect other people to appreciate or even understand the joke.

>>34962923
Maybe they'll think I have autism and give me ESA, I don't want them to appreciate the joke I just don't want to be fined or punished

>>34963120
Honestly you might just end up pissing them off. I've been dealing with government employees for years to keep my bux and they aren't necessarily any smarter or less vindictive than anyone else, and joking about hot button issues can easily backfire.
Think about the last time you pissed someone off on 4chan for instance, remember how entrenched and unreasonable they became?
But yeah that's just my two cents.

>>34963211
I know it differs depending on where you are but I swear its impossible to actively apply for jobs yet never get hired all the while claiming JSA every week. Don't they cut your benefits if you turn down interviews with employers?

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>>34959882
i have already calculated the cost of being NEET years ago and as it turns out you can't even pay rent with NEETbux alone (if you live in the U.S) so unless you are a citizen in the cuck countrys (sweden, denmark) you shouldn' even try.

>>34960107
acting like a sperg will increase your chance if anything.

>>34959959
if you're the type that comes on r9k, you will get neetbux in the uk without a problem. just the most autistic you can (b urself).

>>34963301
I live in Canada, but they got me to go to an employment service for the disabled which was just me sitting in an office while some dumb roastie sent out badly written cover letters and resumes.
I missed an appointment and never got rescheduled.

>>34960107
it's a good thing if you act autistic and fuck up, that's literally what they're looking for

>>34963432
Not necessarily. If you seem creepy or unlikable they might feel disposition against you.
For anyone trying to get NEETbux I recommend getting a social worker first, they will btfo any attempts of screwing you over.

/b/ put together a guide for this in that Uncle Remus style, and as I recall it wasn't complete nonsense. You should seek it out or ask someone there to post it.

>>34960107

>anon has to be autistic and awkward around people for once in his life
>he fucks it up and appears suave and charismatic
>neetbux denied

>>34960107

take your cv
record of achievement if you have one

they ask about why you want on the dole and explain that you are job seeking they will put your details in a system and tell you when to sign on

If you don't show you are looking or what jobs you applied for they will kick you off

It was 10 a week when I was on, then they put my on a course 2 months later

It was horrible they treat you like a retard, I was more qualified than the instructors

>>34964126
10 pounds a week?

>It was horrible they treat you like a retard
I guess it'll be fun when I waste their time by having a laugh

>>34960012
me too lol

it was the reason i was accepted into disabilities coming from welfare

honestly, FUCK shelters, id easily rather squat in a abandoned building than live with fresh off juvie and jail niggers with an attitude

>>34959882
I got it after being in a mental hospital for a year.

If you have no mental illness or physical disability you can't get neet bux.

>>34964708
Schizophrenic here can I get neetbux and live my life a jobless piece of shit?

>>34959959
It takes years and you can be thrown off at any time It is no way to live

- guy on neetbux

im a super brainlet so theres no way ill be hired so homelessness after this, woo

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>>34964808
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO

> r9k says being a wagecuck is no way to live
> r9k says being a NEET is no way to live

REEEEEEEE

IM GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU

>>34964789
Yup. Ask your doctor about it.

>>34964808
In Canada it's permanent. At least I was told that. Will they take it away? Now I'm scared. My mom would kick me out without rent.

>>34964863
The only way to live is to not live at all - r9k

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>>34959882
>tfw when going to community college
>tfw when hate it yet getting good grades
>tfw when Financial aid refund arrived yesterday

What are learning in college anyway?

>>34964863
Why would you take the advice of /r9k/? Look around. Everyone here is a loser. Follow their advice if you want to be a loser as well.

>>34964863
You could try walking the streets looking for dropped coins and the occasional dollar bill.

>>34959882
The homeless life is seriously not that bad except in winter. Homeless people have smart phones and internet too. Free wifi is everywhere.

>>34959959
It's pretty easy, just takes a while

>apply online
>go for short interview where you bring things like proof of ID/CV
>first payment comes through 6 weeks later
>go for a 10 minute interview every 2 weeks where they ask if you've had any luck

That's just for the basic level NEETbux though, if you want something like disabilitybux or autismbux, it's a lot harder.

>>34964708
Wait, you were in nut house for a FUCKING YEAR in row?

About 9 months ago i became psychotic and they had to drag me there, ambulance with fucking cops came for me, and after about a month i convinced my mother to sign some shit so they let me out.

Then my psychiatrist said i should apply for disability bux, so i did and they refused it.

Psychiatrist said i have to wait it out for another year and THEN apply again, that i will surely get it.

She also said that she isnt supposed to tell me this but that if i get locked in nut house again i will get some "points" they use to give away disability bux.

In 4 months it will be a year since i applied for disability bux so i am considering getting myself locked up in nut house in the meantime... I dont know tho cause all the pills and injections fucked me up BIG TIME last time.


And the absolutely worst part is that the dis bux are 110-350 bucks per month, so even if i DO get that shit it will NEVER EVER be enough to rent my own place no matter how small.

>>34964863
dont fall for memes, the real way to live is be in control of your own destiny, like make a business or make money from home, statecuck and wagecuck are one in the same

>>34964937
Im in the UK but keep in mind you are subject to the government changing rules or laws or randomly reassessing you, which they do

whenever theres a budget cut they always target welfare first because people not on welfare love a welfare purge

the uk has random assessments, at any time, as soon as 3 months after you have it, and for the other element of neetbux in the uk, every 2 to 4 years, with increasingly tight restrictions where they get harder on you

i live in a constant state of anxiety

>>34965213
I get 1500 a month. I'm canadian though. I spent many months in a locked room because they thought I was too sick to be around the other patients. It was hell. I took the neetbux as a sort of consolation for the health service fucking up my life.I was fluent in Japanese and now after that year I forgot most of it. I can still read children's shit but not nearly at the level as before. I'll never be the same. THe meds suck too. Made me fat and unable to enjoy life, never started learning Japanese again because I have no drive in life. I don't play video games anymore either. I just drink and chain smoke and shit post.

I get my NEETbux by sucking off old men in truckstop rest areas.
It's not work because I enjoy it, so I'm still NEET

>>34965258
>the other element of neetbux in the uk, every 2 to 4 years, with increasingly tight restrictions where they get harder on you
how much of an autist do you have to be to get neetbux for it?

>>34965258
Oh shit. I bought an imac recently with my neet bux backpay (they paid for for many of the months I was in the hospital) The money was just sitting there in the bank not going anywhere and I need a new computer. Will that be seen as "wasting funds"? I was saving it for if I ever moved out but i decided I want to live with my mom for the next 5 years at least.

Just get a fucking job already

>>34965536
Literally unhirable.

Nobody will hire you even for the most menial job as a neet who has never worked in their entire life and is 27 years old. It's a red flag and nobody will accept you.

>>34965422
In Canada they don't give a shit, once you receive it it's your money to do with what you please.
Also don't listen to the law changing spooks, your contract will be grandfathered in the unlikely event of a law change.

Has anyone ever got neetbux in the UK for depreshun?

>>34966005
probably need lots of neet points for that.

(Many hospitalizations and suicide attempts.)

>>34965980
Awesome, thanks. People act like it's awesome free money, but it's necessary to live. It's still well below the poverty line! I pay rent and bills like everyone else. Neet bux aren't a cake walk.

>>34965980
North America lives in its own protective bubble, filled with carefree optimists

I got neetbuxs due to mental and physical disabilities

>>34959882
Guys do they take your neetbux if you own a house and a car?

>>34966314
You probably wouldn't have been approved for it in the first place. The car is fine though.

>>34966367
Why not? and i have them now but i'm getting a house what do you think would happen?
help a neet pls

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>>34959882
NEETBUX? Sorry boys, I only work in GBP

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>>34964086
>mfw this literally happened to me

>>34960612
U sound retarded you should have no problem collecting disabiltity

>>34967667
What country do you currently reside in?

>>34966950
In most countries you need to maintain a low networth. Else they think you don't need it. Sorry. Good luck.

>>34968024
i live in the usa and it will just be a cheap small house i hope this works out right

>>34965557
Not true. Guy who got hired in with me as cashiers got hired 1st job and he is 28. No nepotism either.

Hello Neets and future Neets I want to apply for disability in California. I have been recently released from a psych ward for wanting to kill myself. Is this enough? Can I apply? How long is the process usually

19 year old with mental health problems and weighs 400lbs what are the chances I get neetbux also spent a week inside a mental health hospital

>>34961165
you can't be this autistic fuck. No one fucking cares man.

>>34959882
Just go homeless anon.

what are you afraid of?

>>34968753

Being kidnapped and sold into human trafficking then eventually starving to death as I get forced to mine for diamonds under the order of some Cambodian warlord

>>34963443
how many neetbux you get family?

>>34969802
1588 canadian dollars.

>>34960186
GOD DAMN IT WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH US

>>34964033
>>34959882
http://imgur.com/a/OyOid

mom's spaghetti

>tfw can't be a neet in my country

>>34970810
move to sweden desu

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>>34970737
"Just remember to exhibit the symptoms. After all...

YOU ARE SICK. This is the realization i came to as i stood outside the office. What kind of a fucking 'normal' person would go thru this manipulation and acts of self humiliation just to avoid working?"

Fuck. He's got me figured out. God I fucking hate myself.

>>34971549
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

is there a name for this phenomenon? the mental condition of being such a fucking degenerate that you go out of our way to avoid getting better?

>>34959882
You deserve to suffer

You are no better than the muslims flooding your country

Fucking off yourself

>>34969973
You can't be for real, what's your disability?

>>34972604
That's the standard amount for AISH.
ASD(Aspergers)

>>34972956
Christ, I can barely move and get 800. Though I still live with parents currently.