Stupid shit you used to believe

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>>34956659
>New England is a state

>girls get pregnant from kisses

>when people say they re your friends they really mean it

>>34956659
>high 2D:4D digit ratio is the norm, regardless of sex

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>>34956659
>if you put sugar in water it made Sprite

>>34956670
wait a minute... it isn't?

>>34956734
>girls get pregnant from peeing on them

>Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could suck his own dick

>>34956771
Nope. The term refers to a collection of the northeastern states rather than a single state. I'm an American, and I was 14 when I learned that it wasn't.

Are you at least not American so you have an excuse?

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>when you're an adult you will figure things out

>a women would actually love me

>I am intelligent

>>34956659
>soul mates exist
>love is real

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>people are nice

>actual grills go to this board

>Girls peed through their butts

>holding a fart in will turn into a burp

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>a friend of mine believed that if he tried to suck in air through his anus that he would eventually inflate

>my father won't mess up this marriage

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>>34956659
>just be yourself
Also crop circles

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>brown people are human

>>34956659
>touching poo would make you blind as the germs would run up your fingers, up your face and into your eyes

>>34956797
I thought that was Admiral Nelson?

>>34956870
I believed this too!
Also believed that all money came from God and that he controlled the economy. Fucking parents

>>34956997
I thought it was Marilyn Monroe?

>>34957040
Shut up, you annoying fucks.

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>>34956659
> Monogamy is natural thing for humans.

What a fool I've been.

i used to think that rain affected the whole world simultaneasly

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>>34957052
Are you telling me Shirley Temple didn't have her rib removed so she could suck her own dick? I'm gonna need a source on that one.

>my father loved me

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>>34956659
> Action Man parachute actually breaks something's fall
RIP Hamster.

>>34957128
just get in the fucking robot shinji

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>>34956659
Communism is the best government
it's not, it's the worst, and only National Socialism can save our White Folk from it's scourge

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>>34956750
Y-You're so stupid haha

>people around me as as smart as me
>r9k isn't filled with self depreciating losers that can't understand the problem is themselves, not the world

>no girls on the internet
been togheter with my fembot girl for one year now

>mom and female relatives used to say I was handsome.
>for a long time I thought they were right

>>34957322
Posting fanfics again anon?

>scratching your freckles gives you cancer

>>34957342
>scratching your ass gives you freckles

>I'm smart but lazy

I'm just lazy and possibly bordering on mentally retarded.

>>34957322
>fembot
>fem
>bot
Women literally cannot be robots, you dumb cuck

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>>34957143
hahahahahaha holy shit anon

>life has a sense

That the strong were deserving and so were the weak, but i now i realize its all just shit that happens.

>>34956757
>2D:4D
What did he mean by this

>>34957143
You are from the most autistic shit you've ever done thread. Ahaha oh god man im sorry this must have affected you in some ways if you keep bringing it up, but shit.

>>34957575
It didn't affect me really, it was just a dumb hamster. But I remember being both terrified and amused, as my mother scolded me for hours, and my father just laughed his ass off and tried to cheer me up.

>used to believe that I could test gods existence if I prayed "If you are real, make it cloudy"

>>34957434

Glad to see it finally clicked.

>>34956659
that i was gonna make a girl happy some day. t-thanks dad, you lying prick

>>34957371
>>34957340
i don't care what you think, people like you was never destined to get a gf anyways

i tried to contact a girl from r9k and it worked out for me, stick out your head from your anus and don't be so fucking stupid

>>34957781
>tfw begged god for years every night to show me he was real because I was slowly starting to not believe and was afraid of going to hell
>that desperate feel where you look for signs everywhere
>grandpa gets sick so pray harder than ever for him to get better
>he dies
>lose all faith
>till this day never experienced any proof god exists even though I wish it were true

>>34956835
>>34956849
>>34956855
How do I stop these feels? I really don't understand the normie mindset... How can they believe in things such as human goodness and a point to life when the evidence is all around them?

>>34957866

Thats a harsh feel man, I too was also afraid of hell and mortality when I was young.

>>34957128
Hahahaha!!
..that really sucks my man

>>34957143
Haha I remember you hamster anon, sorry that happened I'm sure your hamster is in a better place :))

>I'll never make anyone happy
Oh wait that came true thanks mom for shattering my self esteem and blaming me for your shitty life.

An English degree is a good degree
Simply having an MA will make me more employable
Obey is a good clothing company
Going bald is the worst thing in the world
Women are awesome
I should become a doctor
Death is scary
liberals are morally superior to conservatives
i'm super smart
i'm destined for great things
most people like me


i-i'm going to stop now

As a kid
>Warm food gets cold eventually, and cold food gets warm
>If given enough time, food will constantly shift from warm to cold to warm forever

Lint in your bellybutton was poop coming out.....lololololol

>>34956864

Uh........we do........hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>college is respected educational institution
>you should love and listen to your family
>God rewards those who are good
>being kind and respectful will get you places
>people aren't evil

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>>34956659
>never make your own justice
>you will grow out of vidya and animu
>females should be treated with absolute respect regardless of what they do because they are oppressed
>"You don't want to get married? You hate kids? Don't worry it's just a phase! You'll grow up eventually"
>everybody needs to grow up
>everybody needs friends
>introversion and shyness are mental illnesses

Fuck these normie memes. Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do.

>your psychological issues are caused by puberty and they will go away when you are an adult
>there are good and bad people

>>34956659
>Bullies will work for me when I grow up.

>>34961428
>>your psychological issues are caused by puberty and they will go away when you are an adult
this so fucking much

>>34956870
Wait WHAT
oregano post

>God would send me to hell or blame for the intrusive thoughts
>this thoughts would leave with time
>people (including me) were decent and had morals

I used to believe in God.lmao

>you're going to hell because of your fetish
that stuck with me until well after puberty

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>Everyone is just as smart as me.
>Everyone thinks logically and doesnt care about emotions or feelings.
>Life treated everyone fairly.

Fucking hate that these arent true.

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>time was a flat surface and it could be possible for me to "move" and see the past or future or change timelines by walking to certain places
>white butterflies were demons

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I thought speedy gonzales was the nickname of an actual person. Like an olympian from the 70's or some shit.

I knew about the cartoon mouse and I thought he was named after that person.

>>34957847
I'm sure you made a girl happy when you left her alone.

>>34957847
You made a lot of girls happy when you stopped talking to them and leave. Your father was right, its just kind of monkey paw bullshit.

>>34956659
>That OP's picture is actually a gif.

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>I would be successful when I grew up

>>34956659
after you drank a cup of soda, leave the cup with the icecubes next to the fireplace, the ice will melt and refill your cup with soda

my older sister was responsible for that one

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>Used to think I could control the winds with my mind when I willed it


It worked a majority of though. But I knew it was merely a coincidence. I used to predict when a hurricane would be happening in my area also( predicted irene would be happening months in advance and saved my mummy from moving to a beach front apartment that summer)

>>34956734
>hamsters laid eggs, both the males and females

>>34956961
damn faggots and their excuses

>>34961893
were you raised in a cult?

>if you are good to people, people will be good to you

>>34957484
2nd digit to 4th digit (fingers). It's a meme that a low 2d:4d ratio means low-test, so you're a beta faggot

>>34956659
That if you get shot you die

>>34962812
I usedto do that with cornerstone bags.>>34962812

that everything was gonna be alright

>meds will cure the depression

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Just being yourself gets people to like you more

>>34956670
HOLY FUCK I feel like such a mong

>>34956659
You're a fucking idiot, you think one arm was enough? You gotta get both arms in there.

>>34956871
surprisingly thats not far off
the gasses get absorbed by your intestines go through your blood stream and act like any other gas and you breath it out

>>34956659
I will enjoy university and make friends. It would be the making of me.

>>34956659
>god exists
>the homeless need help
>gays and women should have equal rights
>aborigines were human

>High school will be the best time of your life
>Nerds are normally jocks bosses
>The people who a popular in high school go on to be mechanics and do nothing with their lives later
>Women care about personality and not looks
>When you get older women will line up
>If you work hard you'll get a good job
>If you stay in school and get a degree you'll find a good job
>If you don't do drugs you won't become a loser when you get older

...to name a few

>>34956670
>>New England is a state

I was an adult for a couple of decades before I learned exactly which states are considered to be officially in "New England". For most of my life I never knew quite where the boundary was. I knew that Massachusetts is in New England. But is New York in New England? Is New Jersey? Is Pennsylvania? I never really knew exactly.

Finally, wikipedia came to my rescue last year, and opened my eyes.

>being smart is enough to get a good job
>being smart even matters if you want to be a boss.

>>34956819
>you will suddenly mature on your 18th birthday
>you will not need your parents for anything when you are 20
>you will get a girlfriend in your late teens
>you will get married and have kids in your early 20s

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>Time moves slowly
Help me robots, the summers were endless when I was a kid, when the fuck did I grow up. And I have to burn through my life all alone, fuck, I want off this ride

>>34961494
It was
>bullies will end up having a worse life than you
for me.

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>>34957307

>as as smart as me

>>34964827
It's actually the other way around. Low digit ratio means high test. Most men and feminists have a low ratio while women generally have a high one.

>>34957371
I met one IRL 3 years ago, when I was a senior in HS. I was talking with a grill in my class and I happened to mention 4chan, and she said she liked to go there -- I asked which boards and she said /r9k/ and /tv/ were her favorites. I asked her why /r9k/ and she said that she liked hearing what was really going on in guys' minds, unlike /b/ where everyone puts on a fake act. I didn't have the heart to tell her that everyone on /r9k/ is just putting on an act too.

>>34965709
This. One shot in any part of the body is always enough to kill you, unless you wear a bulletproof vest. That's what I believed.

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>>34961428
>your psychological issues are caused by puberty and they will go away when you are an adult
this one as well sadly

also as a kid I thought that TV is like a VHS, that if I don't watch it won't be played
after mom picked me up from kindergarten I would ask her to let me watch morning cartoons since tv wasn't used since then

>>34966473
>>High school will be the best time of your life

I knew that was a huge lie, even when I was in high school.

Now that I'm married and 10000% happier than I ever was in high school, I have solid proof that was a huge lie.

It would be nice if we could tell all the high school kids: "hey, you gotta realize, you're living in what will probably be the suckiest time in your whole life". That way, at least they can have some hope for the future.

>>34966803
what does a low vs high ratio mean? is a low ratio mean bigger 2d over 4d? or the other way around?

>most people are strong/athletic but dumb/uncreative
>a few (such as myself) are weak/unathletic but intelligent/creative
>some can be average at both but this is rare
I then found out that athletic people often are also intelligent and creative while the unathletic tend to be the opposite.

>>34966995
A low ratio means your index finger (2D) is shorter than your ring finger (4D) on the same hand.

>only crazy people kidnap and rape children.

Yet im perfectly sane

>>34966947
FUCKING HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NORMIE, LEAVE NOW NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE REEEEE3EEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING NORMIE BTFO THIS THREAD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34960550
>I will never grow out of vidya

>>34967770
>tfw i also thought this
>tfw i now cannot enjoy vidya at all
>i play them for 3 minutes and get tremendously bored and think
>>what am i doing
I cant even have fun anymore
kill me.

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>>34966825
>Mfw i learned even headshots can be survived

>then mfw the information was directly inconvenient for me later in life

>>34967835
Same here, i think its a mixture actually, partly cause you grew up and partly cause developers only care about money.

Capitalism was a mistake

>being manly enough and a hammer were cool
>pictures

>sit ups are worth it

>>34968096
I really wouldnt blame capitalism. I dont want to talk politics on /r9k/ but im not sure why you think better games would exist under a socialist or communist society.

I also think its a mixture. I can still enjoy some old games occasionally and most new releases are just god awful or nondescript shovelware. However, i cant enjoy games anywhere near as much as i could as a child, even if its a game i typically enjoy to an extent it still feels hollow. I cant shake the knowledge that its a false accomplishment and in reality im still just a sad fuck sat in my room doing nothing.

>>34968365
I meant to say commercialism mb

>>34968673
Again, im not sure why commercialism should be the cause of this. You'd think, for a media like video games where there is in theory a lot of competition and no monopoly, commercialism would work well because the consumer would buy the best games and the poor games would not sell as well in contrast to a non-commercialist society where it wouldnt really matter if the game wasn't very good as long as they got by (which in a socialist society they invariably would). There certainly is a problem with the current state of affairs, of that there is no doubt. However, id attribute it to a lack of consumer consciousness rather than inherent to the system.

>>34968759
Well I didnt major in socioeconomics, so

>>34968814
neither did I. I just shitpost. Still i think if youre going to have an opinion its good to have arguments and reasons to support it.

>>34966947
As much as I'd like to agree with you, I can't really say that my life has gotten any better. I'm 30, I live with my parents, despite having a degree I can't find a job. Honestly, although high school wasn't the best time in my life (child hood arguably was) I'd much rather during that time period than the situation in which I'm living currently.

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As a kid I grew up thinking that Jews were a people that we were supposed to protect because of hitler and friends.

>>34968964
Yeah, me too. I remember hearing about how they were treated and why they were treated that way and I thought it was all done based on a stereotype that wasn't true (greedy, power hungry etc). Now, though, everywhere you look the jews are in power. A main tenet of their religion is that they're better than everyone else (god chosen people) and I can go on. Some times I wonder if I'm wrong though and that maybe my mind is tainted. I suppose the thing about conspiracy theories is that once you believe them you can never prove them to be false (or maybe I just dont have the mental capacity to be able to).

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>>34957866
>God here
>Sorry I didn't make that old man live forever.
>He coulda been a lich but I was more interested in
>Baby Circumcisions. It's kinda my thing. Read my book sometime.

I used to think that time stopped when you were in a car.

>>34966947
I peaked in high school, and that was barely even a peak
>used to think the popular kids would peak in high school and end up loser adults
>tfw that ended up being me

At first I thought you could breathe at the bottom of a pool using a snorkel. I quickly realized I was wrong

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>college will be the best years of your life

>that computers got viruses if you left the disk tray out.

>>34957851
Good cuck. Your fembot is a town bicycle

>>34956817
People outside America generally don't even make a distination between your states, you're just "America". I know you guys think they're significant since they're so large but to everyone else they're just segments of the same country. Usually we know significant cities from films and stuff but couldn't tell you which states Washington or New York are located in.

>You'll find someone anon! :^)

saddle cornpop curtain

>elbow grease is something you buy in stores

If you improve yourself women will like you

>>34956659
this thread wouldn't descend to typical /r9k/ beta whining

>>34960357

That js fucking hilarious
Lmao

>>34960357
MAde me kek anon

How old were you

>>34956659
>Girls don't have vaginas. Girls only had buttholes

>socialism works

Oh how stupid I was.

The world was going to end in 2012

>>34956659

>losing weight and getting /fit/ would help me

>>If you can lick you own elbow you can become a girl

You better believe I had my arm up on my face all the time.

>>34972669
Same

>>34972743
I read that book too

>>34971655
We feel the same way about Europe, especially after you faggots turned all your national sovereignty to the EU. Enjoy being slowly federated more and more by globalists. When Greece finally falls apart so will your shitty attempt at remaining relevant.

>>34961712
Well, what was your fetish?

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>you're gonna go places.
Kek, the only place i went was to the therapist.

>>34968759
The most popular games are not necessarily the best games senpai.

>>34957866
It may sound like a paradox, but trying to test gods existence by asking him through prayer is a sin. It's insulting God. In his eyes, you weren't a Christian ever since you started doing this. You had no actual faith. Ergo going to hell anyway.

>>34961893
Poor schizoid anon

>being out in the sun is what made black people

I tried to avoid the sun for a while when I was a kid because of this until I eventually asked my mom.

>the man puts a balloon thing on his dick and fills it with sperm and them squirts it inside of the vagina to make the woman pregnate

5th grade was a confusing time

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>>34972821
Underrated post here, boys

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>>34957358
Anon please dont make me sad

>>34956659
Girls pee out their butts.

>>34956870
Oh hey I'm not alone

Tigers are female lions.

>>34957322
Reported

Original

>>34957358
literally me

i think my whole life is dunning-kruger

>>34956659
a persons skin is no indicator of their character

note that I still think its capable to be good and a nigger, but I just treat them like a dangerous breed of dog, unsafe until proven otherwise

>>34957358
>that soul crushing moment you realise you're actually just dumb

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I had special powers like manipulate the outcome of something right before I did it like asking someone for a favor XDDDD
>pic related

>>34966473
>Things will get better after highschool

That vaping will make me look cool

>Women delivered babies through the mouth

>Also, thought food and water accumulated in your stomach and esophagus, and that at some point it would be filled and you wouldn't be able to eat any more.