/britfeel/

>>34955862
anyone ever had a poo and a wank at the same time?

just been told that my work is shutting down in five weeks WHAT THE FUKC I NEED THAT MONEY

>also really lovin it because it means a neet job search life for at least two weeks

>>34955910
No but Ive had a wank with a willy inside my bum LOL.

>>34955916
>2 years later anon is dee in the NEET life ''''''searching''''''' for jobs

>>34955936
the dream, wageslavery has killed my spirit at the point

>kitty has started eating grass

pls b ok

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good morning boys, what you getting upto today?

I'm gonna sit doing nothing till 3pm, listen to the football then go for a drive and then maybe watch a movie.

>>34955947
He's okay, mine does too even though it makes him sick. x

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>>34955958
I'm going to dream about living with you and plowing your boipussy every night

>>34955958
wank, bacon butty, drop a fat turk in the toilet, shave my bollocks and bumhole, shower, get dressed, roll a spliff, smoke it on my walk to the bookies, put my bets on, go to the boozer, watch the footy with a few pints, meet up with some old pals, get bladdered, pull an average woman, get my knob wet

thats about it tbqh lad

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I'm fucked lads. Properly fucked.

To no one's surprise but my own this whore roastie I've been seeing for seven weeks is, in fact, a whore roastie and not at all "not like the other girls" as advertised. She's still going on PoF every day, sexting other blokes, and probably meeting them every time my back is turned. Meanwhile the only attention I get from her is when she needs someone to listen to her moan about her soon to be ex husband and/or disabled kid, and maybe a quick no foreplay fuck if she's got nothing better to do. Cunt won't even kiss me anymore.

So what do I do? Give everyone who said "she's no good" and "it won't last" the satisfaction of being right and jump right back in to the six years of being an incel I had before this, or carry on getting cucked out of sheer desperation?

>>34955947
my doggo eats grass sometimes.

>>34956001
my doggo used to graze on grass like a big cow everytime it went out, I had to keep stopping it

>>34956001
they tend to do it when they got a poorly tum tum

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>>34956017
how old do dogs normally live for? he's about 12 now.

>>34956045
thats a cute woofer lad, and it depends tbqh usually the smaller the breed the longer the life

i've got a cockerspaniel and she turns 15 this summer, shes pretty much blind now but she adapted to it well, mainly cos her scent of smell is good

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wew, expensive cheese and bacon lads

>>34956080
still cheaper than london t b honest

>>34956080
>stealing 80 bong worth of cheese and bacon in aldi

did he take the whole store with him

>>34955987
Every girl needs an emotional bf lad, it takes a real man to be one and not just some fuccoi.

>>34955987
>single mums
Not even once

dick smells like a creamy rustlers bbq rib today

>>34956125
giz a taste lad

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I can't take it anymore if I don't get a bf in the next 20 mins I'm gonna suicide lads

>>34956153

I would be your bf but I'm a boy (female)

>>34956104
Thanks mate, I feel much better now.

>>34956108
I'm 38 and have a 12 year old kid myself, so it's not like I'm spoilt for choice when it comes to women

Anyone ever get little bits of blood in their spunk? Bit spooped by it but i don't have the minerals to go into the doctors and tell my GP that im jizzing blood

>>34956168
piss on a pregnancy test lad, will tell you if you have ball cancer or not

>>34956162
Sorry, roastie I'm as gay as a turkish bathhouse

why is it so hard to find jeans that fucking fit properly. skinny jeans are too tight but slim jeans are to loose.

>>34956163
>38
>father to 12 yr old
>goes on /britfeel/
Wew lad

>>34956080
The fine is 80 quid not the cheese. They sell it on the black market to other poor people

>>34956184

Get some slim ones and smash them in the tumble dryer

>>34956153
I'll be your bf if you're anywhere near the midlands senpai

>>34956178
is that real? fug you've got me scared now, where can i get a prego test from? preferably somewhere i can buy it without going to a cashier

>>34956153
Post a cute pic as and I'll consider it

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>>34956195
You'd think I'd have more going for me in life, but you'd be fucking wrong.

>>34956209
do you have a son or daughter? if you have a son make sure he doesn't end up like you and if its a daughter make sure she isnt jumping on paki dick from the age of 14

>>34956209
Tell me about Wojak, why does he feel the feels?

>>34956205
no idea but the cashier will think you have a gf at least if you buy one.

just go to your GP though honestly, don't be one of them people who delays going so much that it causes an even bigger problem down the line

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>>34956209
Tell us more about yourself mate, is your kid living with you? Are you a wagie or NEET? I'm kind of interested if what you're saying is legit.

>>34956238
mate if you saw the state of me you'd never think i have a gf, im shitting my self i've only been the doccies about 4 times in my adult life cos i have this fear that everytime i go they'll send me to the hospital and i have a fear of hospitals, i just looked up symptoms of ball cancer and i dont seem to have too many of the symptoms

>This triggers the britbot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxH4-aoTlTw

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>>34955862

The strawpoll to end all strawpolls

http://www.strawpoll.me/12363573

>>34956304
My mother is already dead.

Jokes on you.

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>>34956304
DELET THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW, OR ELSE

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OI DO ANY OF YOU KNOW THIS FAGGOT?

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cryptbro from last night here, quick rundown

>possible upcoming homelessness
>think of staying in a small lair
>quiet and private, especially at night because of the spook factor
>protection from the elements

heres a picture of it, the door is a pretty shitty wooden thing that i could get through without much effort

>>34956507
Careful lad, it might be haunted like in those harry potter or bible stories

>>34956290
DeIete this right now

I would advise against smashing the door in lad. You'll want to be able to keep the elements out once you're inside after all

Rate them left to right lads

>>34956507
If you've thought of it, so have the local homeless

You gonna get stabbed, raped, robbed, killed or a combination of all four

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>>34955958

Lounge around, try and do some cleaning if I can get my arse motivated to, get a pizza, watch football league show, fuck about online, bed

Gonna be same as every other day really

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>>34956597
Forgot image laderonis

>>34956507
>possible upcoming homelessness
>think of staying in a small lair

why not just go to your local council and get booked into a hostel? all these internet homeless schemes are fucking retarded, you live in a country with a social welfare system

I lived in a Salvation Army for two years, it was pretty nice.

>>34956507
do a 2 night trial run and see how it goes, if i was you id plan on securing it from the inside so that when ur in you can lock ur self in to stay safe.

obviously stock up on candles or batteries for a torch, get a few blankets and you'll be fine

>>34956620
4 & 7 are the only 2 id make sex with

>>34956650
Seriously? You wouldn't hit 1 from behind?

>>34956620
alright sure

6/10
8/10
7/10
7/10
6/10
7/10
7/10

>>34956620
I want slap 7's big wobbly bum haha

>>34956650
I'd shag the shit out of all of them. I don't exactly have high standards. I'm like a 5 myself.

I'm staying in an AirBnB tonight with a girl who is very DtF.

I'm nervous though lads. She's a virgin and our friend says it'll be bloody. I don't want to make a mess of the host's bed.
Also I'm nervous about performance. We could bang but probs won't

>>34955947
They do it to get fur balls up, he'll be a bit sick, don't worry it's natural.

>>34955985
Lads day that

>>34956507
It'll most likely be cold in there. Do a trial run then go to the council and declare homelessness if it's too uncomfortable.

>>34956195

There's lots of different britfeelers lad

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Just brewing the first shin cup of the day lads.

>>34956620
6 maybe 7 if she dresses right
7
7
8
6 maybe 7 if she is sexy attitude
7
8

>>34956732
If she's a virgin I wouldn't worry about performance. Fuck her bloody. She'll love it. Just bring your own blanket to cover the sheets.

>>34956507
Isn't there fuckin dead people in them

Had a weird dream last night.
Sore from press ups and squats whilst browsing britfeel.
Had an amazing wank last night that I'm still thinking about.
Hows you lot? Busy? Or loungin? Do some weights if you got nothing to do. Zottman curls, flies and press seems okay.. Need to get on this ting

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>>34956875
>fuckin dead people in them

calm down there jimmy

>>34956875
yeah there will be a couple of them

>>34956875
Don't you mean free sex doll?

>>34956875
Your new room mate! So kawaii!
(Accidentally typed 'room mat'... Yeah, that too if you want)

>>34955910

No lad, be careful doing this, you might summon the wanky shit demon.

About to walk into the village and visit the fishmongers. I want to buy some scallops for a nice meal I'll be cooking tonight. Got some fizz chilling, as well as a (hopefully nice) homemade truffle cheesecake.

Hope you are all having a wonderful Saturday laddos.

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>>34956927
>the wanky shit demon.

wh-whats th-that???

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Fuckin half term finishes in 2 days
God just kill me, I've been expelled from my school as well

>>34955910
Yep. Good times. Prefer pussy desu. Both at the same time seems redundant. I usually don't jerk at the same time I squeezing one out, but on the occasion that the two tasks share the same location and im in a hurry, then yeah I guess

Got too drunk on my own last night lads, painful indigestion and headache. Shouldve listened to the lad who told me to eat a tangerine tbf

>>34955862

>Be line manager
>Faggoted normie shows up for a shift
>Stinks of weed
>Inform HR and call police
>He gets utterly BTFO

Today was a smug day

>>34956927
Sounds awesome. Someone's getting laid tonight! Woooooo!

>>34956942
Trust me, not worth it mate, just don't do it.

>>34956967
Da fuq wud a watery fruit do? Better off with bread or something oily, not a citrus fruit fugg

>>34956982
Cunt. You should smoke it with him. More fum

>>34956991
>Cunt. You should smoke it with him. More fum

I'm not a degenerate, and he shouldn't be showing up for work high.

>>34956942

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzxQgRbTesA

There you go lad, you have been warned.

>tfw you watch something you haven't watched in years and realise how lame you actually were

>>34956620

6
7
7
8
2
7
8

The fat one is disgusting to me.

>>34956998
>showing up for work high.
It was the only thing that got me through retail. Worked mornings at 4am though so most didnt know, would smoke a spliff at break too, good times.

>>34956991

>Sounds awesome. Someone's getting laid tonight! Woooooo!

Here's hoping, lad. I'll close my eyes and think of britfeel if I do.

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>they can all smell the weed

>>34955916
>two weeks
Sorry to tell you, but once a neet, always a neet...

>>34955987
>divorced
>mong kid
>he genuniely thought she was "not like the other girls"

You deserve this. Now fuck off to /brit/.

>>34957019

>I swear it's not addictive
>Can't get through the day without weed

perhaps you should kys.

>>34956998
>I'm not a degenerate
Sir ked. Dot tell me what to do when I'm high, I'll tell you what I'll do when I'm high.

>>34957039
I still think like a neet even though I've been a wagecuck for six months. Outside of work I live exactly like I did when I was neet

I just jizzed all over the floor and my dog licked it up.

>>34956103
You should see what people nick from supermarkets. They will take cheeses, meat, coffee, cleaning products etc. and then go and sell them at a reduced rate so they have money for drugs.

>>34957055

It's all well being the tough guy, here, but I actually have control over a degenerates life, and I got him both sacked and arrested.

>>34956998
What job I might ask? Operating dangerous machinery is unacceptable but I always worked better when I was baked.

>>34957075

It was in a warehouse, and he was a forklift driver.

Smoking on the weekend is one thing, but what kind of retard shows up to work with red eyes and a stench you can smell from about 10 metres away.

>>34957031
Febreeze, buddy. Works like magic.

>>34957044
Hyperbole much?

@34956991
Is this faggot serious?

>>34957044
Nah it was just to get through work is all. I don't smoke anymore, I just remember the fun times I had when I did is all.

>tfw trying to lose weight
>so hungry all the time
>food seems like the greatest thing ever, better than heroin
pure torture, lads

>>34957091
Was he good at the job? Did you trust him? Is there a lot of risk or security factors? Smoke n maintain is comparable to a state of waking sobriety

>>34957113
take up smoking, it causes a loss of apetite

>>34957104
You are in the wrong place methinks

>>34957131
Fuck that, my brother smokes and he has this awful whiny cough. Plus I'm too poor

>>34957113
Eat watery vegetables and fruit

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I really want to fuck a fat girl lads. I just pulled myself off to this girl and I swear it was the best orgasm ever.

>>34957113
Drastically cut your sugar intake. It's what's making food seem like the greatest thing ever.

>>34957118

It was his first shift. If he crashes and they find out I've let a stoner operate the forklift, then I'll be fucked too.

>>34956998
i always go to work stoned me. fuck it. can still do my job.
>>34956998
i am a degenerate, and i think it's perfectly acceptable to turn up to work high.
i work in a factory operating machinery, no problems. no safety issues, in fact i'm probably more safety concious than most of the people i work with, and more productive.

>>34957193
they're cheaper as escorts too

>>34957287
I would if I wasn't too much of a nervous beta.

>>34957193
honestly mate its not as good as our fantasies make us think it would be, i used to be a massive fat fetishist for as long as i can remember.. finally fed my fetish when i was 17 and had a horrible experience, brushed it off and went through a few other fatties before realizing the reality of it is nowhere near as satisfying.

they're uncomfortable, tend to have floppy wide vag's and smell fusty. same goes for chubby girls

Alright lads. First time in one of these threads in a while. I've finally resigned myself to the NEET life and no longer give a shit about trying to be a normie. I'm going to just spiral into addiction and loneliness whilst I work up the urge to kill myself.

How's everyones day going? I'm actually feeling pretty good, watching Dr. Strangelove.

>>34957031
>tfw you don't even care anymore

I smoked in the middle of the street yesterday

What have I become.

>>34957354
not bad lad, just been looking up some quick effective mess free ways to kill my self. i live at home so i dont want to do anything where my family will find my body, im thinking maybe train lines or getting bladdered and jumping from the multi story car park

>>34955958
need to get mummy to come give me some money, maybe beers as well, then get some weed ordered.
then it's wank time, and then gonna get some music on and get on muh tablet and put multiple hours into a drawing.
what film you got planned. i was gonna watch akira, but not in a paying attention mood, so will save it for tomorrow

>>34957354
It's kind of freeing when you stop trying to be a normie. People say being a NEET will catch up to you eventually but if you're flirting with death already it doesn't matter, you won't have to live with the consequences.

It's far from ideal, but we'll never live in the horrific misery that the doomsayers speak of.

>>34957384
the most effective method is a helium exit bag (look it up, but I reckon you know what it is). You could do that somewhere secluded and call the police or something right before you do it so they know where your body is?

>>34957407
desu it does feel liberating. I suddenly feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I don't have to feel crappy and guilty all the time because I can't do things I don't want to do in the first place. I think I'm okay with accomplishing nothing.

>>34957306
Save your money and just install a dating app and get one for free, they're all really desperate so it should be easy

Proposed new style. Pls use some conventions.
In the back is a skyscraper or Hi rise parking garage or something, and those wavy lines sposed to be hills.
I didn't flesh out the alleys or streets.
Proportions not to scale. You could fit a third building in the middle, but it works as an alley of some sort. At the bottom sposed to be house windows facing viewer. Hmu x

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>>34957451
Whooops
Sposed y'all want annotations?

>>34957445
believe me I've tried and gotten nowhere

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>when you want to malinger but know you'll get caught but the thought won't go away

>>34957317
Do they try really hard to please you, and basically be your slave though? This is important information.

>>34957460

Straight out of a serial killer's diary, that

>>34957460
Oh and I forgot to add a park. Maybe bottom right corner or in J?
I n F sposed to be countryside

>>34957451
Anon I'm kinda confused what this is desu. You mind letting me know whats up?

>>34957476
Haha oh mate that ain't even half.
Jus feeling pressured. Main thing is fore mid back left right methinkssss

>>34957463
What happened? If it's interesting green text that

>>34955862
STORY TIME
>11th grade
>on field trip
>hanging with girls from class, having fun
>creepy beta orbiter orbiting us (them)
>they try to get him to leave using "subtle" body language, i.e taking a step away when passing by him
>i'm fucking crying of laughter whenever he leaves

that's why i will never see myself as a real robot..

>>34957474
nah a lot of them are just extremely spiteful. They tend to have this confusing mix where they have really low self esteem, but still have incredibly nasty narcissistic tendencies.

>>34957474
depends on the fatty, some are submissive little piglets because they know they're worth less than you and that you could be fucking something better than her and will put a bit of effort in.. but they usually get tired quick and its a bit of a turn off hearing a chubber huffing and puffing like she needs an inhaler when ur slamming her, and i cant express enough the smells are fucking weird especially when you fuck them doggy and start getting scents from their bumhole

>>34957521
it's not
>swipe right on girls
>no matches after a month
>uninstall

>>34957521
nothing fucking happened. every girl I talk to ends up ghosting me

>>34957519
what's causing the pressure

>>34957524
>that's why i will never see myself as a real robot..
>11th grade

You're also not a brit so why are you here?

>>34957515
Yeah I'm the guy complaining about OP image not that I don't like it but terribly inefficient.
Should I do a proper mock up?might be in pixel art tho

>>34957550
Wanna be perfect n not shit n don't wanna let u lot down... Think about it a lot even in dreams

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>>34957524
>11th grade
>field trip

try again with more subtle bait lad, since im feeling generous have this (You) on the house

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Post those waifus you degenerate lads

>>34957460
now all the stock images have to be in perspective. theres a reason its a flat street.

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>>34957524
You're not a real robot. You're a normie bully. Leave.

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>>34957582
Do you not know how to use a computer? Lol. Want me to do it for you?

>>34957559
Because there is no slav feels
>>34957577
i swear to god

>>34957524
Hello yank, what brings you to our dirty corner?

>>34957582
You might get away with 2d composed as if on different planes, layered n stuff. I can do it without skew. Makken mok op

>>34957591
make me

i'll slap you with my skeletor hand and laugh as your autismo powers crush me

>>34957615
The word "lads" makes me chuckle

how do i stop resting on my laurels lads. .

>>34957521
>>34957545

most, if not all the fat girls i have matched with on tinder wanted to date rather than just have casual sex. i would fuck a fat girl but i wouldent go through the effort of dating one. they were pretty desperate though compared to slim girls.

>try to kill yourself
>ruin your face
>get a face transplant
>from a man who killed himself

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39010384

Imagine that. Every time you look in the mirror you see the face of a man who achieved what you could not.

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>>34957622
you taking the piss lad? we dont take lightly to your kind round here

Full time traffic warden and Special Constable here, AMA

>>34957560
Could be good mate. Might be interesting to mix it up. It really can't hurt to try.

>>34957622
>>34957636
why are yanks always so loud and obnoxious compared to brits? when ever there is a yank in my university they are always shouting and speaking really loud.

>>34957569
are you the lad that was complaining and i said to get creative and do something
the fact you're putting time and effort in makes it good. i get what you mean about wanting to get stuff perfect for people, i really do.

I've been thinking to move country recently.

British people are fucking faggots for the most part. Older people tend to be better but most people my age here are clueless mongs. Americans are retarded but they're not retarded and pretentious faggots like Brits are, I am so tired of the elitism because you're British. Have you seen how cucked we've become? There's nothing to be proud of.

This is why this country will never change for the better and why I feel like a stranger in my own country. I also just want to start my life over again far, far away from all the people I know here. There is nothing left besides my parents that isn't the root of tons of embarrassment.

>>34957649
I might have a pop at fixing the proportions in a bit after Cuppa. Dithering on style choices tho. Ta

>>34957636
>lad
*giggle*

>>34957654
I will try my best brah. I was also offering to write guides. This is just a rough tho

>>34957637
>Full time traffic warden

do you tell your friends and family how you earn a crust lad? bet you fucking don't dare. if i pass one of you fucks in the street i always degrade them

also the plastic copper thing is just as bad. i'd have more respect if you stacked shelves or swept the floor.

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>>34957579
>waifu
check
>degenerate lad
fuckin check

>>34957599
im oap image guy, I made the image.
there are reasons its flat.

you just have to look at the airefeel op image to see why having something with perspective is a bad idea.

you have lots of random people over the year who want to add their little bit.
but theyre not great a photoshop, in fact some do things in ms paint still.
they don't know how to match perspective, or even cut things out half the time.
so you end up with a hideous mess that looks really amature.

having a flat street with designated places for people to add things, like the windows and the posters, means people can add things if they want and it can be fixed to not look that bad.

now its not my job or worry anymore, and you are free to do what you want, im just trying to explain the reasoning for it being the way it is.

>>34957683
Can we not have British pornstars instead? Mah patriotism

>>34957694
because there's only one decent one and he's working for brazzers

>>34957633
Jesus fucking Christ. This is a legitimate horror story. Might adapt this for a script.

>>34957683
post some naughty snek titties :3

>>34957659
How do you like your tea anon? Might make one now myself.

>>34957658
>but most people my age here are clueless mongs

mate, all young people are "mongs". americans are more elitist than us from my experience. honestly dont know where you're getting any of this from. most young brits are pretty chill and dont give a fuck. sounds like you just know really pretentious people and you assume everyone is like that.

if you cared about the country you would become a politician and change things. sounds like you're just selfish like everyone else.

>>34957721
Don't worry about the new OP image. We don't need one for another 10 months.

>>34957691
The only places with perspective is side houses(?) Everything else should work as 2d layers tbqhfamilia

>>34957691
Makes sense desu. People wouldn't bother adding to it if it required actual effort.

>>34957730
yes, just invest years of your life and tons of money to gamble on being elected as a politician to change things, it's that simple.

>>34957730
sounds more like hes a yank to me tbqhwy mate

>>34957744
ffs I keep forgetting T B H changes to desu, t.b.h.

>>34957721
maybe cos im still half asleep but im still struggling to interpret this. but like
>>34957740
says, it was mainly the side houses.
so just keep going and see how it develops.

>>34957738
to be fair we should have had something new in January so I think its fair to talk about change.

>>34957745
obviously its not a guarantee that you're going to win. you could say about anything which remotely relates to success. the whole point is that if you really care for something, and truly want to see change, then you would make the sacrifice regardless.

its more likely that you actually dont care about the countr, and you're just looking for an excuse to leave because things are going a bit shit for you atm which is fair enough. im sure most people get a bit pissed off and say silly shit sometimes.

>>34957691
2d images or sprites on 3d environs>>34957722
, resized to simulate perspective?

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>>34957786
We did have something new in January.
Last year we just had the Job Centre.

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>>34957713
titties on a snake

>>34957820
that's 2 years old. last january was the current image (well an early version of it cos it took a month to make). that's 2015 you got there.

>>34957820
Anon did you accidentally skip an entire year

>>34957845
>>34957865
I wish I were joking.
Being a NEET is both a blessing and a curse.

I guess it is time for a new OP layout.

>>34957460
What about a tall OP image like a tower block? We could have the essneitals like the shops and JCP on the bottom and have a lot of room for memes.

>>34957658
This country is shit, but the young people are most definitely not the reason. They're fucking awful the entire world over.

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>>34957579

>waifuposting

lol

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>Takeshi's Castle
>Takes his Castle
That's the goal of the show lads

>>34957965
it's too early to be blowing my fucking mind like this lad.

>>34957965
you wazzock

lads how do you dress well? I'm sick of wearing jeans and hoodies all the time

>>34958016
Nothing wrong with jeans but get a jacket instead

>>34957965
I don't think English wordplay is something that Japanese people are very good at

>>34958016
I have a few pairs of nice jeans, a few pairs of decent tops and a few nice jackets and a nice coat that I just kinda swap between every day of the week. I have no idea what makes them look good despite being expensive, but I've gotten a few compliments on dressing nicely despite being an ugly fuck so I'm doing something right.

>>34958016
I'm in my 30s and still wear this...

I think it's time I tried growing up. But shopping for clothes is one of the worst things on the planet.

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CHOCCY BAR TIER LIST UH OH

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don't forget a place for hoody guy and date board of some kind.

>>34958087
Yorkie is God tier you absolute scrote

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>>34958087
>bounty and turkish delight
>shit tier
Found the woman

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>>34957722
I'm just grateful to have something. My favourite tea.

>>34958074
i'm in my late 30's lad and wear the same stuff.
hiking pants and hoody for work, joggers and hoody at home.
comfy is the only option lad. i don't give a shit about being fashionable.

>>34958016

>nice jeans
>nice shirts

make sure shit fits well and you're sorted

Shop in decent charity shops and you can find good stuff - if not only go to medium quality places like zara when there's good sales on. Don't bother with shit like primark because it'll be rubbish

>>34958087
What a shit tier list. Mars, Boost, Toblerone, Twix and Wispa all need to be lower and Bueno and Galaxy need to be higher to say the least.

>>34958087
Where the fuck is my milky way!?

>>34958103

>tfw you like anon's taste in chocolate but he's a racist and a sexist

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Mummy bought me a pack of pepes...I mean Freddo frogs at the weekly food shop for being good.

Anyone else got a treat they'ed like to brag about?

>>34958087
>Bueno
>not top tier

Are you having a fucking giggle?

>>34958116
What I mean lad is how do you like it made? What brand, how much milk how many sugars?

Personally I like Yorkshire tea, with a tiny dash of milk and one sugar. Too much milk ruins the taste of tea.

>>34958127
The "found the woman" part is because i've never known women to like either especially turkish delight, yet blokes love the stuff.

>>34958134
my mummy bought me some new trainers yesterday so I can look fashionable whilst alone in my room getting high half naked.

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>>34958087
>freddo
>meh tier

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PUT HIM BACK AT THE TOP WHERE HE BELONGS

>>34956620
>british '''''''''''genetics''''''''"

Where do all the pretty lassies live

>>34958087
what a bag of shit.
toblerone is shite. daim bar is god tier.
that meh tier should be top tier
how the fuck are animal bars shite tier, i used to love them buggers
there's probably more wrong but i don't want to look at it anymore. it offends me

>>34958087
>bars that are only chocolate in "god tier"
What a shit list.

>>34956982
Well done, even though I don't believe you

I'm going to do it I think. In a few weeks I'm going to drink again. I'm about 60/40 on that decision.

I see loads of fit girls. I can only get fat 16 year olds who use me to buy fags weed and booze but I'm fine with that.

>>34958087
So much wrong with this.
Tunnocks caramel wafer doesn't even feature lad.

>>34958087
>tfw the thing that's inspired the most emotion in me in weeks is a fucking chocolate bar list

You should be proud in how fucking terrible your taste is lad.

>>34958153
I thought you meant it because of the Yorkie bar

>office work awards tonight
>really don't want to go
>trying to find an excuse

lads I have 10 excuses and need help choosing

1. I have anorexia and eating in front of others will cause me to purge and self harm
2. I went to the wrong venue
3. I thought it was only for people who were nominated for awards
4. The menu included salmon which is not a sustainable source of food so I stayed home in protest
5. The seating plan had me in front of the room and I am self conscious my large head would block the view
6. I accidentally chopped my finger off with a meat cleaver and had to get it reattached (I would happily put fake sewing marks on my hand and wrap string round the finger to make it seem more pale)
7. I feel uncomfortable in a situation that may lead to sexual intercourse with a coworker as this could harm my working effeciency if it happened
8. I broke my fingers (could just wrap them in paper)
9. I read a news story about an outbreak of MRSA at the venu (it is next to a hospital) and felt concerned
10. I was mugged on the way to the awards

Fuck I don't want to go.

>>34958224
Cut them off, and keep the ones that stay.

>>34958167
They are baby's first dairy milk, don't even bother
>>34958135
Too pretentious
>>34958126
More like milky gay
>>34958103
Go back to narnia you nonce
>>34958099
Should be called a Yankie because it tastes like american shit
>>34958185
>toblerone is shite
Stopped reading here
>>34958234
These are pretty decent actually

>>34958316
>They are baby's first dairy milk
That's simply not true.

>>34958292
>death in the family, say a gran died of old age.
that's how i got out of my works christmas meal

>>34958292
What on Earth is an "office work awards"?

Is it some The Office type shit where you give out shitty plastic trophies for meme things like "Employee of the month" or "Most sales" etc?

>>34958087

You move picnic into god tier or I'll cut your face

>>34958292
8 is the only viable option, everything else just leads to more questions

>>34958292
I've got a better one
"Oh that was yesterday? I forgot"

>>34956205
>>34956205
I would google it before cutting them off when it shows positive

>>34958316
so you realised i was right at the toblerone being shite, and new i had already made my point.

>>34958292
You have a great imagination, friend. You should just chop your finger off and have it reattached though. Be careful to chop on the joint so it's easier to reattach.

>>34958292

I like 4 or 6 the best.

>>34958292
or you could not be a mong and just say that you don't want to go

im a descendant of russian royalty and a distant relative of the queen. Could i do anything with this? maybe the Freemasons would set me up with something

>>34958452
you and 10 million other people

>>34958292
what telly sitcom do you live in

can i come too

how do I stop being such a nervous beta? I normally get drunk to cope with it.

>>34958494
Usually I just kill myself

My mother complains that food is expensive, then buys far too much, let's it go out of date and throws it away.

It's fucking infuriating.

>>34958316
You have pleb tier taste in chocolate. Nowt better than a Yorkie bar and a strong cup of tea to dip it in

>>34958477
I was in a bando you was in a party tryna go home with a whore

All I do is work , go gym and shitpost. I don't feel anything anymore

>>34958591
Same, but I play video games and watch shit TV as well. Odd trip down the pictures too.

>>34958532
thanks mate that's very useful advice

>>34958588
*the entire navy seal copypasta*

we listening to owt good lads?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RImNJU7Bvr0

>>34958657
https://youtu.be/4OMda91q20c

Herbie Hancock - Headhunters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m3qOD-hhrQ

>>34958657
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St14STZS4fo

>>34958657
Patrician taste, well done.

Family has gone out but I had a wank recently so it's ruined.

>>34958588
TRAP TRAP

2 44's in a 4 door driver pull up everyone pause

skrrt skrrt

>>34958657
https://youtu.be/lstVQxf0p3Y

>>34958755
have you heard any fat freddy's drop stuff senpai.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7QQS5V3cnI
i am liking that of yours though, nice and comfy. good music for when stoned.

>>34958725
>>34958755
>>34958759
>>34958840
got em saved and will give em a proper listen later. thanks lads
>>34958840
is that lewis hamilton on the right?

>>34959011
Think it might be lad. Louis likes to take some time off with the towel boys after a big race

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>>34958657
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEIiqhx3BSk

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>>34959113
qt but not as qt as Mr Cuddles

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>>34959138
Is Mr.Cuddles a good boy?
He doesn't bite people randomly or anything does he?
Here's a handy chart

>>34959138
why do dogs only have 4 toes and not 5?

>>34959138
Cuddles is a very good boy
He gets a bit protective at night when we're out but nothing over the top, he just stands closer to me and puffs himself up. During the day he's perfectly approachablele (unless you're not white..Mr Cuddles hates darkies)

>>34959236
the fifth is at the back, you can see a fifth toe on the dog's right forward foot

>>34959248
approachable*

originig

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>>34955958
cba doing my research today so i'm going to do nothing and feel shit for it all day :^)
>>34957579
i guess if i have to.

had a bastard cold all week, first day out of bed since tuesday today, i missed my chance to get my haircut on wednesday and now it looks like a bomb has gone off at a wig factory on my head

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There's no Harold Shipmans of the vet world is there?
I hope not.

>>34959259
but why? it seems like a useless place to have a toe

>>34959296
>Not thinning or already bald.

GET OUT

>>34959326
it's vestigial, known as a dewclaw
most pedigree breeds have it removed as a puppy

>>34959301
found
>vet kills cat with arrow
http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/Vet-Fired-After-Bragging-of-Killing-Cat/
>Veterinarian accidentally kills wife, chops her up and sends her for incineration to pet crematorium
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/vet-accidentally-kills-wife-chops-sends-incineration-pet-crematorium-cops-article-1.131051

>>34959346
i dont think my woofer has any

>>34958087
>Bounty
Always wondered why they bothered putting those in tub of chocolate at all.
Then they stopped and now they make me vaguely nostalgic even though the last time I was foolish enough to put one near my mouth was when I was 5.

My online blood test and binder arrived today

I'm going to wait about a week before taking a blood sample

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>>34955987
>disabled kid
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON

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>>34959383
So there's no pet serial killers we know of, phew.

Also I hate it when I accidentally chop up my partner and send them to a pet crematorium.

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>>34958333
>>34958337
>>34958356
>>34958372
>>34958399
>>34958412
>>34958431
>>34958483
I decided to be honesty and sent my boss this email. Do you think it is a good idea? I hope she understands

>>34959469
Don't send that fucking hell lad.
I know you're trying to be honest but sometimes it's not appropriate, just say you aren't feeling well.

>>34956507
Hoping you do a trial run lad, likely to be very cold and maybe a bit damp so bring some cardboard to put down too

>>34959469
Enjoy your future weekly trips to the dole office.

>>34959469
It's a great idea. Honesty is the best policy.

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>>34959301
more on cat killer vet.
>'Vet of the year' fired after posing holding a dead pet cat she killed with a bow and arrow after 'hunting it down in her backyard'
you said harold shipman of the vet world. doubt that, but bet i could find a pet serial killer.
>i'll have a look

>>34959469
>Hey Gemma
>Can't make it tonight because I've got a date
>Leave my awards on my desk, ta

>>34955862
>have friends
>have job
>not /r9k/ at all
>still come to /britfeel/ threads because /britfeel/

>>34959469
please don't send that mate. just say that you're not feeling well.

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>>34959527
No that's ok I'm fine knowing there isn't one.

>>34959469

>that second paragraph

Geez, you shouldn't have done that.

>>34959469
i sincerley hope you are taking the piss out of us lad

>>34959469

Looks solid to me lad, nobody can argue with that

>>34958134
>Anyone else got a treat they'ed like to brag about?
tfw the only treats I get are treats from myself.

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Gambled on a fart and lost.

Fuck sake lads.

I just got back from tesco and I brought a pack of underpants because I needed some new ones. all I did was ask the guy next to the self serve to take the tag off and he looked at me as if I told him that I raped his mum or something. why does everyone act so condescending towards me...

>>34959469
If you omit the bit about alcoholism and the dress you're looking better. Just keep it short and sweet: don't want to attend because big events cause you social anxiety. That's it. Don't go into more depth than that.

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>>34959469
Hopefully you haven't sent this off yet but these are the bits you should certainly remove.

>>34959653
Shit, forgot to remove the "Unless you want..." sentence as well.

Bit weird that Medichecks synced my new account with my old one

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>>34957579
Finally out of bed, think I sprained my ankle while drunk last night

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>>34959527
>Roastie killer
>Get's caught because of the girl with object meme

>>34959682
What would kurisu think of your drinking

>>34959450
well technically we don't know that there isn't one
am having a look

Already got pretty bad anxiety for a birthday think I'm going to in 5 hours. Be expecting a lot of smoke break posting.

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>>34959723
no stop
STOP
I don't need to know

>>34959469
>Hi Gemma,
>I wont be able to attend tonight because I am ill.
>(my ass is like a firehose (crying laughing emoji) tbqh) (sorry for the TMI)
>
>See You Monday

Rewrote it for you

>>34959301
>There's no Harold Shipmans of the vet world is there?
>I hope not.

Someone in britfeel once claimed to be a Harold Shipman of the vet world, and because animals don't have coroners etc, claimed it was much easier to get away with.

I'll try and find it in the archive.

>>34959720
Think she'd have been up for it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bu5bF3pXxM

>>34959469
The email that saved /r9k/

Nice weather we've got here lads. Birds tweeting, warmish breeze. Best time of the year this. Already feel a bit less suicidal.

>>34959450
>>34959723
There is
http://www.hackneygazette.co.uk/news/crime-court/cat_killer_believed_to_have_struck_in_hackney_as_mutilated_kitten_found_without_head_or_tail_1_4828427

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I wish I didn't ask

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Starting self-employment on Friday, lads. Wish me luck.

>>34959813
Make sure you keep track of your receipts lad

>>34959813

How much for a hand shandy?

>>34959533

I know this feel all too well.

I really want to quit but can't

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Going to the shop lads, need anything

>>34959849
Thanks, senpai. Already got an accounting folder set up on my computer with all of my business expenses to date. Boring stuff, but I don't want to get raped by HMRC.

>>34959858
About tree fiddy.

>>34959884
Grab me a lucozade while you're there lad. Need any change?

>>34959884
Get me some happy shopper burger bites pls m80

>>34959806
i wish i wasn't easily distracted and didn't such an inquisitive mind.
but the question was asked. we have to find an answer
sorry

>>34959813
The thing that always gets me is that the mother doesn't realise that she has just shot all respect he had for her, and for women as a whole. She has created a nigger.

>>34959884
that looks like it's in a foreign country
>clapham
oh

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>>34957579
Just ate a bagel tbqh

>>34959884

Get me some iced tea and a solero senpai

>>34959884
>About tree fiddy.

Reasonable enough, pencil me in, lad.

>>34959469
>alright gem, soz but im not gonna be able to come tonight (well i will but not to the ceremony LOL do you like that? its a spunk joke btw) im gonna be shit posting with the lads on 4chan instead

sorted

>>34959884
>>34959884
I fancy a Rustler's or a nice pasty. A bit of chocolate too. Maybe a Galaxy Caramel or a Mars King Size. I'm on a diet though, so you'll have to eat it for me.

>>34956960

Come be a NEET, It's fucking cock on 1% of the time

>>34959797
boudica rising sounds like a right twat
so we've 1 confirmed catto serial killer
not really seeing owt else though. think that might be it for the pet serial killer search
>>34959757
ganbatte, lad.
hope you find it

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>>34959929
i forgive you anon

you're a good boy

>>34959884
Irn Bru for me lad.

>>34959886
Definitely worth staying on top of it, it will be impossible to bring it all together if you only start near the end of the tax year.

I want 2 tickets for the Manchester City v Monaco game

Are upper tier seats near the corner OK or are bottom tier in the corner better?

>get new monitor
>stuck pixel right in the centre of the screen
fuck sake lads

>>34958134

Bought myself tendies and a can of monster for breakfast, kind of a treat :^)

Wish I could become a full time NEET and quit this Saturday job lads. It's insufferable waking up at 5 on a Saturday morning for only six quid an hour. Mummy and daddy would be annoyed and since I'm 18 they won't pay for anything. They're all about that muh working at a young age. I spend all day working and have no time to revise.

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Yummy travel lunch lads

>when you overthink everything to death to manipulate people into ignoring you in school but then after school you realize you now have no personality or personal history but the only solution you can think of is to piece together disparate memories in a way that recreates the reality that should have existed in the hope could manipulate people including yourself back onto the track of actually having a personality while glossing over the empty period but you know it won't work because sooner or later it'll dawn that you can't build anything without raw material

>>34960328

Just wait until you become a proper NEET and the government knocks that pay off ya monthly dole pennies kidda

>>34959884
Get me some polos while your there m8

>>34960328
are you at college or uni as well?
say you understand the benefits from working and earning your own money,being able to provide for yourself is good. but,you working and studying is interfering with your attempts at setting yourself for the future.

>>34959884
Wine gums for me my lad

If you're not drinking yet don't click https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1487106423787.webm

>>34956960
At least you don't have to fucking go back.

How did you get expelled anyway?